Please obey the rules! Let us do our best to promote a successful school life! Anything less will not be tolerated! (Independent RP blog for Kiyotaka Ishimaru from Dangan Ronpa. Formerly his-aniki) Tracker tag: fuukiin M!A: None In a relationship with: Mondo Oowada
(More real talk. Saying a fandom is better at writing a series than the actual creator or writing staff is really disrespectful. It’s in the same vein as the whole “fixing art” trend that came around not too long ago. If you don’t like the writing of something cool, whatever that’s your beef, but don’t say you’re better than the writer or the staff at interpreting their own characters that they created. Criticism is one thing, but being disrespectful is another and it seems more and more like the line is being blurred between the two.)
It’s been too long again since my last Danganronpa character animation. This isn’t technically an idle animation since he reacts to something, but… Ishimaru’s extreme reactions are the biggest part of his character anyway.
(Back with another hot take. Something else I keep seeing a lot is people claiming that Ishimaru doesn’t cry all that much, but...he does. He cries a lot. I think it’s more a misconception about why he cries more than anything. When he was made, he was created to be a character with a very wide range of emotions, but because he’s so full of emotion it comes out in tears more than anything. Kodaka told Komatsuzaki exactly how he wanted Ishimaru’s personality portrayed in the artwork and because of that he wanted to see exactly how many teary expressions he could give him. In total, there are six different ones in his sprite lineup, not including his profile picture which literally has tears flying from his eyes. Komatsuzaki thought he was a fun character to really get into and draw because of how much he cries. I’ve said this before a long time ago and I’ll say it again, Ishimaru but is and isn’t a crybaby if that makes any sense. He cries not because he’s necessarily sad or scared--although he does do this in Mondo’s trial for obvious reasons--it’s because he’s so overwhelmed with passion and vigor that it pushes him to tears. He cries at the drop of a hat, then the very next moment he’s done with it. Ishimaru cries when he’s happy, confused, embarrassed, overwhelmed, etc. Basically he just cries because that’s how he deals with his own erratic emotions.)
please infodump abt ishimondo these two fill me with serotonin
Anytime!
So, I tend to say “Ishimaru and Oowada had the best relationship design in the series” on here a lot. I doubt people take it very seriously, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart every single time I say it. It’s funny, in a way, that they were the second relationship in the whole series brought into the spotlight, and it ended up being the best. But it was; they truly have never topped it. They - the writers - know as much, seeing just how often future relationships and plotlines took pointers from them. So I’ll elaborate on why exactly I think this is the case. This is all from an objective design standpoint - that is to say, why their relationship is so well written as opposed to the emotional aspects that are up to personal taste.
First things first: they were quite literally made for each other.
We like to say people were “made for each other” when it comes to romantic relationships, and anyone who comes within 20 metres of me knows that I think it’s true for Ishimaru and Oowada in that sense as well. However, since they’re are fictional characters, there was a whole process that went into designing them. Everything about their characters can be bent at the will of the writers to fulfill their purpose - that is, to complement each other and fit together - and that’s exactly what they did. They were extremely obviously made with each other in mind; hence they were in the most literal sense possible made for each other.
The first part of this is, of course, on a physical level. Take a look at this:
I talk about that one a lot, haha. However, it goes deeper than that. Have you ever noticed that in visual representations, Oowada’s almost always on the left?
There’s a reason for that. Oowada’s coat patterns only come around the sides on his right-hand side, and Ishimaru’s armband, medal and even buttons are on his left-hand side (probably to highlight how he’s left handed). So, take a look at how it appears when they’re together:
When they stand like that, the “plain” sides of their physical appearance blend into each other, and makes the details stand out. Not to mention that, again, at this point you can see the Yin and Yang thing they have going on. This is so unbelievably corny to type, but their physical designs are made so that they can have their arms around each other like that. That’s how you complete the picture.
To reiterate: they are made to hold each other. I can’t think of anyone else in the series that does anything like this. Soulmates, no?
And, of course, the Yin and Yang thing just makes sense. Their relationship was a metaphor for... a lot of things, come to think of it. But their relationship had a lot to do with morality as well; especially on Ishimaru’s side.
Now, I wouldn’t exactly say they’re an example of Yin and Yang. Perhaps we could say this about Oowada, but it’s less “he’s a bad man with a little good in him” and more like “a good man, or at least pretty decent, who forces himself into a sort of tough façade”. And Ishimaru wouldn’t really be a good guy with some bad in him. Besides not knowing when to keep his judgmental thoughts to himself, which is much more a social skill he never learned as opposed to a real character flaw, Ishimaru doesn’t do much that’s morally objectionable.
So, it’s not the perfect analogy for them. But it certainly has a similar premise to Yin and Yang; in which Ishimaru realises that Oowada “actually is a really nice guy”,
And Oowada realises that Ishimaru, much like himself, has also been through “a lot”.
You could do some mental gymnastics and say that it somewhat lines up with the Yin and Yang idea, because Oowada tends to believe he is a bad person because of his trauma (blaming himself for Daia’s death etc.) and Ishimaru obviously recognised the “good” in Oowada and such, but I don’t think it needs to match perfectly there. The idea of Yin and Yang is that there is more to perceived “good” or “evil” than meets the eye, and that one cannot exist without the other.
That’s the exact premise of Oowada and Ishimaru’s relationship, too. And speaking of...
One cannot exist without the other.
Let’s approach this statement initially by simply looking at how their dynamic is designed. Even when they’re actually apart, you can observe little things about them that show that they were meant to be together. Here’s my favourite example, in which I’m just going to quote myself because 1) I’m lazy and 2) I’m that up myself:
[L]et’s get into Mondo’s bad self esteem in general.
This poor self-esteem carries over to the point where if someone compliments him, genuinely says that they believe in him, he thinks they’re lying.
Makoto: “I won’t laugh at you.”
Mondo: “Wh-? What the hell are you talking about?”
Makoto: “Why would I laugh, when I can see how serious you are about all of this?”
Mondo: “Tch… you don’t have to hold back, man.”
Makoto: “I’m not holding anything back. I think it’s amazing how determined you are.”
Mondo: “R-Really…? Thanks, man!”
If you respond to him by saying he truly ISN’T smart, - why the fuck would you do that – the way he responds is particularly interesting.
Makoto: “You’re right. College isn’t an option for you anymore.”
Mondo: “…I know. I know that better than anyone.”
Makoto: “Oh-! But still, what really matters is the effort you put in, right? With enough effort, anything’s possible for anyone.” (hm, sounds like someone I know…)
Mondo: “C’mon, you’re obviously just tryin’ to make me feel better. I don’t need that pity shit. If you wanna be my friend, you just gotta tell me point-blank what you’re really thinkin’.”
He assumes, when Makoto says that Mondo can do anything, that he’s just pitying him. Context probably doesn’t help, since Makoto prefaces this by saying “well, you have no future, buuuuut maybe you do I dunno.” But I do believe that Mondo does fear that internally everyone thinks he’s an idiot and anyone who says otherwise is just… lying. Like here:
Makoto: “That’s not true! You can’t just decide there’s no chance without trying!”
Mondo: “…Huh? Are you serious? Don’t say shit just to say it!”
And there’s that other one, too:
Makoto: “You’re right. I might laugh, just a little.”
Mondo: “Wh-?! Who the hell do you think you’re talkin’ to?!”
Mondo: “…No, you’re right. Why wouldn’t you laugh?”
To round off Mondo’s thinking patterns about the whole thing, let’s consider this quote.
Makoto: “I’m not just saying it! I mean it! Since it’s you, I know you can do it.”
Mondo: “Ng… I’m… glad to hear you say that. But I have to face reality, right?”
Face reality. Even if someone like Makoto believes with all his heart that Mondo can make something of his life, and Mondo believes that he’s not lying, he’ll say, “well, yeah, but unfortunately that’s not how the real world is.” It probably doesn’t help that Makoto is pretty gung-ho so it’s easy for Mondo to say “yeah, well, you’re dumb as hell”. But I reckon it is just his natural reaction to such beliefs – the idea that anything is possible. Consider how he talks to Kaito Momota:
Mondo: “You talk about space and shit all the time, but… you ain’t even been there, right? And even so, you’ve got such a confident look on your face.”
Kaito: “Of course. I’m Kaito Momota, Luminary of The Stars! It’s already been decided that I’m gonna go to space! Right now is just before that happens!”
Mondo: “Bwaha… Hahaha! The fuck’s that even mean, dude? It pisses me off, but… hearing you say something like that makes it sound possible.”
And again:
Kaito: “I, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, am the one closest to space in this academy!”
Mondo: “With that kinda confidence, I think you might actually make it up there.”
[N]ote how he’s still relatively cynical about the world, and about people’s abilities to do things – however, he believes that Kaito’s confidence, while kinda stupid, means he probably is going to be able to do it.
Mondo lacks this confidence, and since he thinks the world’s out to get him anyway, it’s really hard to get him to think he’s going to be able to achieve anything. So from all these little dialogues, here is how I think Mondo’s thinking patterns regarding his… potential? Validity? SOMETHING, plays out.
- Everyone thinks I’m stupid.
- If they say they don’t, they’re lying.
- If they’re not lying, then they’re wrong.
- If they learn the truth, they’ll see I’m stupid.
Now let’s have a look at Ishimaru again. As I mentioned very briefly before, Ishimaru is known for being brutally honest. There’s no polite way to put it - he says what he thinks of anyone and everyone’s actions, completely unprompted, and hence comes off as one of the most censorious people alive. The first example of this happening was probably when Kirigiri shows up a little late to the meeting, and instead of voicing concern on whether she’s okay, he simply gets annoyed at her for being late on the first day, saying how it reflects her weak character. Ikusaba-turned-Enoshima tells him that he’s being an asshole, and Ishimaru’s says “but I have to do this, punctuality is essential”.
If Ishimaru feels morally vexed by something, whether it be tardiness or, you know, actual problems, he’ll speak up. It’s a major reason as to why he’s just so unable to connect with anyone; when you think about it, having to be around someone who criticises everything you do is pretty tiring. That brutal honesty is the entire reason he and Oowada got into such a massive argument - because unlike the majority of people, Ishimaru doesn’t really let things he dislikes go, and Oowada takes this a million times more personally than the average person.
Just about, if not everyone in Ishimaru’s life didn’t really stick around to see what he was like beyond that first impression of being highly critical of people. Ishimaru knows it. Beyond his lack of knowledge on pop culture, he cites his personality as the reason he doesn’t have any friends.
But his relationship with Oowada highlights the benefits of being around someone like that, if you can handle it. Namely, Ishimaru acts the way he does because he cares a lot. He isn’t just giving his unsolicited opinions because he enjoys being mean, it’s (besides the fact that he just isn’t very socially equipped) because he feels so invested in everyone’s actions and their success that he can only tell them. You know those times when you see a cherished friend start doing extremely self destructive things and you end up having to tell them that you’re worried about them, even if they don’t want to hear it? That’s how everything is for Ishimaru.
And it means it goes in the reverse. If he likes you, he really likes you. Whenever he says anything positive, you can be certain that he means it.
When it comes to Oowada, he’s always needed someone like that. Oowada’s so certain that people are lying to him if he’s complimented on something besides his façade, and Ishimaru is one of the only people who 1) sees his positive qualities beyond said façade and 2) is so brutally honest 100% of the time that Oowada doesn’t even have to question his candour.
So it works great for Oowada, because he’s finally got the undeniable support of someone he cherishes, and it works great for Ishimaru, because he can finally have a person who likes him because he’s so frank.
And I mentioned this before, but have you ever noticed this?
That’s just one of the many, many subtleties about Oowada and Ishimaru that highlight just how obviously they were created with each other in mind. I could go on and list/explain all of them, but that would take ages, and this is already getting extremely long. Nonetheless, believe me when I say basically everything about them as individuals matches up like this.
“So their personalities match up,” I hear you say, “Fine. Does that really mean you can say “one cannot exist without the other”, Noor?”
Maybe not. The thing is that much of their “matching up” is meant to highlight how their relationship makes them better, more complete, and fulfilled people; for instance, Oowada needing to move on from his façade if he wants to get anywhere in life, being too scared to actually let his true self show, and Ishimaru being the only person who prefers the real him and gives him validation for it. This is all nice, but it doesn’t inherently represent being so glued at the hip that they’re each other’s life blood.
While we technically don’t have any proof that it’s the case for Oowada, everything about Ishimaru after Oowada’s passing proves that Ishimaru literally couldn’t bring himself to live in a world without Oowada in it.
The link I just put explains it in a lot more depth (yes, my self centered-ness never ceases), but basically: the only way Ishimaru was able to keep himself alive was by tricking himself into thinking that 1) Oowada was still alive and 2) Ishimaru being alive was the only way to keep Oowada alive.
When Oowada died, Ishimaru effectively “died” as well, due to becoming soulless. When Ishimaru was killed, he was under the impression that Oowada’s soul was a part of his, so his and Oowada’s souls left Ishimaru’s body at the same time - at least in Ishimaru’s eyes. It wasn’t that Oowada died and then Ishimaru died - Oowada and Ishimaru both died, at the same time, twice.
It makes a huge amount of sense. The other’s design was so important to one another, that if one of them is eliminated, there is no purpose in the other one existing anymore. Perhaps the best way to word it is that in personality and physical design, it’s hard to tell where Ishimaru ends and Oowada begins. When you consider it this way, it’s no wonder Ishida Kiyondo exists.
So no, you can’t have Ishimaru without Oowada or vice versa. Not only do their presences in each other’s lives make them better and happier people (just compare how grouchy they are before becoming friends to how upbeat they are afterwards), but from everything we have to go off, they can’t actually fathom living their lives without each other.
This is actually... extremely rare for Danganronpa. Just about everyone lost someone close to them during the Killing Games, but when this happens, the person left alive typically agrees to keep moving forward. Not these two, though. They’re no integral to each other’s existence that you can’t really make a case for such a thing.
There’s also the topic of just how much their relationship enhanced the plot...
Oowada and Ishimaru’s relationship was also a plot device, let’s not forget.
For starters, Chapter 2 in general, and a major part of Oowada’s design, hinges on the concepts of masculinity. Ishimaru acts a sort of foil to Oowada’s 負の男気, “negative male presence”, as a 正の男気, “positive male presence”. If you happened to be awake and paying the slightest bit of attention during Chapter 2, you’d know how important the “toxic masculinity” theme was.
Ishimaru and Oowada’s relationship was positively dripping with masculinity - they define their entire bond as the “bond between men” and how that conquers all other kinds of relationships. “Stronger than blood”, he calls it.
Not to mention that Oowada refers to their relationship as “a man’s promise waiting for him at the gates of hell”. I can’t find the screenshot of this happening, but you probably know the one I’m talking about.
Not only that, but the way they became friends instantly kind of enhances this. It was extremely boyish, to put it plainly. Oogami even says their absolute obsession with each other is “simple” because they’re boys. And the sauna battle itself is as stupid teenage boy playground fight as you can get; especially considering that it was a battle of brains, philosophy, that they chose to settle with brawn, physical endurance. All of this made their relationship fit perfectly in the theme of Chapter 2, “Boys’ Life of Despair”. One could even argue that it was a demonstration of that “positive masculinity” that Ishimaru brought to Oowada’s life. Fujisaki was... I wouldn’t say jealous, but “envied” their relationship as a “bond between men”, for obvious reasons.
And that’s not even the meat of it! A part of their relationship serves as foreshadowing, as well. As you probably know, they call each other 兄弟, said kyoudai, as a nickname. There’s another Japanese word which is spelt 強大 but is pronounced the same (kyoudai). 強大, in comparison, means powerful, mighty, strong. This pun aids us as a clue for who the killer is in Trial 2. When Fujisaki dies, we remember them as the one who would blab on about wanting to become strong - this, in fact, is Oowada’s sole testimony and is used as a Kotodama/Truth Bullet - and we get a bit of an inkling that maybe one of the guys who basically call each other “strong” as a nickname might have something to do with it. That foreshadowing helped me, anyway.
Clearly the writers thought they had something good going with that one, because word-pun-foreshadowing has been a pretty prominent part of the series ever since. The first example I can think of is with K1-B0.
K1-B0 is pronounced キーボ, kiibo, and is short for “keyboard”. “Hope” is pronounced 希望, kibou. As well as all the obvious things that make K1-B0 tied to Naegi, such as being the “voice of the players” like a protagonist - and also, just look at them:
When K1-B0 becomes the Ultimate Hope Robot, the player has their “OOOOOOH!” moment, because he’s... Kibou. His name was foreshadowing as well. There’s many more examples of this; think to “Komaeda Nagito” as an anagram of “Naegi Makoto”, Owari and Hajime, Monokuma as Monochrome + Bear, things like that.
I want to say Ishimaru and Oowada “invented” that, but unfortunately they are not sentient and it was instead their authors that invented that. It would be better to say that they were the first time it happened (besides the Monokuma thing, which hardly counts because it’s not foreshadowing). The ideas that made up Ishimaru and Oowada as a unit showed up again and again in the series. They paved the way, essentially.
Their relationship also aids as foreshadowing simply due to how quickly they became close. I always forget this because it feels a lot longer in retrospect, but if you don’t count the night in the sauna, Ishimaru and Oowada were friends for about 24 hours before Oowada went and killed Fujisaki. The trial happens the next day, and then Oowada’s dead. They were together for less than 48 hours.
And in that time, they became closer than anyone else. I know that’s a controversial thing to say because of Oogami and Asahina, but remember they had all the way up until the end of Chapter 4 to get that going, and Asahina’s reaction was simply not as intense in that she was able to move on and keep surviving (again, Ishimaru and Oowada were made with the purpose of fulfilling each other, so Ishimaru didn’t get that privilege). Even Naegi and Maizono, who already knew each other from middle school, didn’t get that close that fast, and they had far more time within the Killing Game, before Maizono carked it, to have done that if they wanted.
No, Ishimaru and Oowada’s relationship was incredibly suspicious. Of course, that’s why everyone assumed they were gay, but there’s actually more to it than that. It has to do with the erased memories plotline.
Knowing that everyone already knew each other for two years, their relationship suddenly makes a lot of sense. They would have immediately clicked, most likely, because of those erased memories they’re subconsciously remembering. Ishimaru wasn’t grieving for his friend of 40 hours, but his partner (?) of about 2 years. So they are a solid example of when that twist was foreshadowed. And it also goes to show just how strongly they must have cared for each other in that time they lost. It’s extremely interesting.
In fact, their Monokuma Gekijou highlights this. I’ll use the English this time, it’s the exact same...
For context, this is the Monokuma Gekijou that plays once you go to bed immediately after leaving Ishimaru and Oowada in the sauna. As Naegi is dreaming (?) this, they’re proabably having their little conversation.
There’s many things this Monokuma Gekijou is saying, in terms of Oowada and Ishimaru. The first is that everything they experienced in the two years that were wiped from their brains is why they’re so close, and why they’re going to be so close the next day. All of their “yesterdays” piled up to create their “tomorrow” - made more literal in the English because they’re going to be best friends as of tomorrow, where it’s just written as “past” and “future” in Japanese.
But it also has to do with the soulmates idea in general. If you have a look at the sauna manga again, you’ll notice that it all comes down to how they had similar pasts that made them who they are. It could allude to how everything in their difficult lives before then had led them to that moment, where they would become 兄弟.
And we should talk about their relationship as an allegory, as well.
Chaos and order, delinquency and discipline, academic failure and success - perceive it as whatever helps you sleep at night, because there’s plenty going on there. Danganronpa does a lot of narrative-within-a-narrative stories, though many people overlook them. Ishimaru and Oowada is one of them.
As I said moments before, the reason Ishimaru and Oowada bonded was because of their similarities in their pasts; that is to say, having gone through a lot. But despite being essentially the same in that regard - as well as both having “fiery personalities” - they became completely different people.
Ironically, I just found this image on my computer, and it sums up what I want to say pretty well:
Because when it comes to Oowada and Ishimaru, the fact that they understood each other mattered more than how “different” they were.
Ishimaru and Oowada had both gone their entire lives completely unrecognised for the struggles they went through. In Oowada’s case, it’s because he actively didn’t want anyone to think anything was wrong, lest he be perceived as “weak”, and in Ishimaru’s case, it’s because he simply never had anyone who liked him enough that he could be open with them about things of that nature.
At that point, they needed someone like each other in their lives so much that their supposed differences were hardly an issue. They even go on the record saying they go together so well because of said differences - like “black and white”.
Their fight over chaos and order, or what true strength is - it’s both incredibly relevant, and incredibly pointless. Ishimaru in particular cared very deeply about ethics and the correct ways to run things, but at the end of the day what matters most is Oowada.
Despite the “debates”, I suppose you could call them, that surround this constant issue, their relationship examined how 1) they’re not so different after all, and 2) what matters more than their respective beliefs, more than what they hinge their pride and identity on, is each other. Connection. Supporting one another. Loving each other so much your classmates get weirded out. It’s you and me against the world, as the old saying goes.
These are the sorts of themes in Ishimaru and Oowada’s relationship that are hard to come by anywhere else in Danganronpa. I’m sure I’ll get a few “well actuallys”, but the point still stands that so much about what makes Danganronpa what it is is what their relationship is founded on. We have never had, and probably never will have, anything in Danganronpa quite like it.
I always did like the fan translation of DR1 better. I’m happy I played that version the first time I played.
(I wish I'd been able to play that one, I'm one of the old timers from the something awful forum translation days! But when I heard it was being officially translated here I decided not to get the japanese PSP version with the fan translation mod. I was just, you know...sorely disappointed when I saw all of the weird, americanized changes they made to an otherwise very Japanese game.)
(Probably making enemies right now with all my hot ishimaru takes on this RP blog, but I'm waiting for a reply anyway and seeing misinformation about him being spread around so readily kills me inside lmao. But if you like them, you can follow me too cause I got a lot of things I wanna say. Or I can just scream into the wind, that's cool too.)
(Real talk, my pet peeve is Ishimaru calling himself "Taka" in the English translation of DR and I think it bothers me so much because it's so far off from what he actually says in the Japanese version. Even spike chunsoft america admit that they really butchered the DR1 translation, so it just really grates on me like dang. I also kind of feel like it's a weird betrayal to his character and especially because his first name in Japanese means "summer child" so taking away the character for "Kiyo" in Japanese completely changes the meaning of his name.)
((From what I can get, Monobear makes an announcement in the cafeteria about the food, To which Mondo and Ishimaru react angrily and were just about to step up to him, but eventually, changed their minds.))
I think this is part of the Drama CD where the cast set up a school/cultural festival…? Where mondo and ishmaru are in charge of the food stand..?
Buh, I couldn’t really follow all of what’s going on here, so if anyone can provide a translation, I’d be really grateful! (*´∀`*)
here’s a basic translation gomen for inaccuracies:
((my comments will appear like this))
Monobear: Ding dong ding dong! ((he’s making it sound like a standard announcement you know the one with the weird ringing)) I just remembered, please supply the academy with 50% of the profit made from the selling of food.
Basically, we’ll be receiving royalties! If you’re just showing off your skill for no charge, you do not have to pay; therefore, if you’re super good at cooking, it’s free! Please show us your super high school level skills! Those of you who have questions, please report immediately to the headmaster’s office. However, I’m not guaranteed to be there! ((then why did u say that u lil shit)) Upupupupu!
((this next sentence is kind of irrelevant because it was a play on words and idk how to make a good english equivalent so i’m giving up but basically the word “tada” means both “free” and “however” so he’s just saying that the word did not mean the same thing in those instances))
Mondo: What the gently caress is up with that broadcast?
Ishimaru: if this was the doing of a student, as the hall monitor, I must reprimand them!! Let us go to the headmaster’s office!!
Mondo: Hey, //grabs Ishimaru// if you’re going anywhere, it’s the broadcasting room, right? If you’re gonna get ‘em, get ‘em good for me! I don’t know who the gently caress it is, but they’ve got some nerve! ((there’s a swooshy sound i think mondo just punched a wall omg calm down this is a school cultural festival not jerry springer))
Ishimaru: I agree completely!!
Mondo: “50% of the sale of food”, those idiots! I’m making yakisoba! ((fried noodles)) Who the hell’s gonna decide if it’s good or not??
Ishimaru: So that’s what got you angry..
Mondo: And who’s going to pass judgment on me, the man called the legendary vendor! ((fun fact: i asked my mom about this part because i’m a dumb baby but in japanese matsuri festivals, most of the vendors are yakuza doing this stuff in their free time!!! but they’ll sell you cotton candy ain’t that cute aw)) there ain’t no way I’m gonna lose. I’m gonna show ‘em what I got!
Ishimaru: Yes that’s right, show them! And then make them comply!
Mondo: Yeah! But.. cotton candy might be good.
Ishimaru: ((there’s another swooshy sound just lemme pretend ishmaru did a dramatic hair flip please)) what!?
Mondo: I said cotton candy! Y’know, that sweet, dream-like dessert! You’ve had it before, right? They always have ‘em at festivals. They like, get ya excited!
Ishimaru: I see, that might be appreciated by the ladies!
Mondo: Idiot! Don’t be stupid! I’m not saying that to try to impress girls…
Ishimaru: Then why cotton candy?
Mondo: Because I like it, why else?? Yakisoba and cotton candy are both great! You got a problem??
Ishimaru: Then how’s yakisoba candy? Or even cotton yakisoba? ((ishimaru shh babe lemme feed you some cotton yakisoba you goddamned five year old))
Mondo: Uh, somethin weird about your taste leaning towards yakisoba….
(Me screaming internally because people keep saying things like “Ishida is a shitty plot twist” or “Ishida is a cop out” without understanding anything about him or his character. Also not understanding that without Ishida Ishimaru would have literally starved himself to death as he was ACTIVELY TRYING TO DO after Mondo’s death. Ishida is a product of his deep trauma from losing the one person who actually understood him and the only coping mechanism he had left. Yeehaw)
He had the nerve to sit next to him as he knew his rage was roaring, the gall to tell him he was angry as if that wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. His quick and irrational brain spurting out nonsense after nonsense– word after word, his mouth moved but nothing really important came out of it and the more he talked the angrier Mondo became. His brain shut down, the counting wasn’t working and before he knew it he was above Kiyotaka; gripping him by the collard shirt he adorned. How he wanted to rip that dumb suit and tie off of him. For daring to wear such a thing– even though it was the only thing he had– it still bothered him. A sign that things were never going to change, that Kiyotaka would always be hiding underneath the safety of what makes him seem normal. In Highschool he was never one to take risks, Mondo always having to force him to do something more with his life but this time it seemed his words would fall on deaf ears.
“Ya really fuckin’ think you got this all figured out, huh?! Sayin’ such dumbass things, then expectin’ me not ta yell? Th’ fuck do you think I am!” His arms moved back and forth, shaking the body below him with such force as the other lay limply. Allowing him to do it like he always did. Sometimes he hated that Kiyotaka would never say a word back when he screamed like this, maybe he wanted the other to slap him, yell at him back, break that perfect mold if only for a few seconds to see that there was still some human left in him. But he was being to harsh, he knows he was. Kiyotaka was not to blame, it wasn’t his fault he was put in this position but Mondo had nothing else to push his frustration out onto besides the one in front of him.
“Ya know… my fuckin’ answer you asshole…” For once, in a very long time, he felt the unfamiliar sting in the corner of his eyes. Teeth clenched as he bowed his head against Kiyotaka’s chest. “Dammit Kiyotaka! Losin’ ya…all over again… you need ta make a fuckin’ choice, not me. Either ya leave yer damn wife or– ya lose me.” It was his only ultimatum. For once in his life, he wanted his friend to do something selfish for himself.
Even after all these years, he could see that the other man’s temper was still something he would need to work on. Rough hands gripping his shirt and lifting him off the ground as Mondo hollered at him, shaking his body with no remorse. He could fight back if he wanted to, but what would that prove? It would only feed the flames between them right now, it could also ruin everything forever. So instead he waited for the yelling to stop with only a look of concern on his face. Still, the answer was so obvious. Mondo was choosing him above everything else, whether he had something to lose or not was irrelevant. Kiyotaka wrinkled his nose, gazing downward as he was given his own ultimatum.
Losing this man was something he absolutely could not abide. Not after this, after reconnecting, sharing a night of passion he wished they’d had before he was arranged to be in this loveless marriage. If he truly was the courageous man he’d set out to be, he would have done this long ago. “I cannot lose you...” For once Kiyotaka was beginning to speak with his heart rather than his mind. His hand reached up to smooth back unruly hair, allowing Mondo to release his emotions into his chest.. “Please...give me some time, I will make this right, Mondo-kun. I do know your answer, I was just...worried that you may come to regret it later should you make a hasty decision.”
Before this, Kiyotaka had only ever seen Mondo cry twice: once when they grieved for one another’s troubles, and again when the biker confessed the truth of his brother’s accident. He would never allow tears to fall unless they truly were called for. He cupped those cheeks to make Mondo look at him, thumbs wiping away the residue of the tears left behind, then pressing their foreheads together gently. “I do not wish to leave, I know that we have so many more things to speak of however, I must sort things out--and I apologize for putting you in an uncomfortable position.” As much as he didn’t want to, Kiyotaka pulled away to finish gathering his things, his eyes ctahcing the glint of the ring Mondo had set on the nightstand the day before.
Reluctantly, he reached for it, staring at the band in the palm of his hand before grimacing. Without another word, he stuffed it in his pocket while preparing himself for the argument that was sure to ensue once he arrived home. With a hand on the door knob, the young politician took a look back at his now-lover, biting his lip. “I want to make it clear that no matter the circumstances, I would always choose you, Mondo-kun. Things may be strained for a while, but...if you can find it in you to forgive me, I would...hope that this could lead to something more for us. Something much more intimate.” With that, Kiyotaka took his leave.
Mondo fixed himself in the bed and sat up on his elbows– he almost wanted to laugh when he mentioned about not having to clean up after him. “Haha…well, fuck I mean it was my fault yer in this state so–!” He felt his cheeks flare up with red, turning and pouting at the next phrase coming out. “S’ only right I would take care of it and you…” Scratching the back of his neck Mondo was in a bit of a hard spot, he shouldn’t be acting like some girl who just got her cherry popped. He needed to stand up and be a man for Kiyotaka, tell him he will take care of him, that he wants to keep taking care of him and be with him but those faithful words were left dry, empty on his lips. The positive thing is; is that Kiyotaka said he meant it. And for a second he felt like things were going to be okay. Going home, telling his wife what he’d done, then running off with him. It almost sounded like the cheesiest movie he could think of.
But as he asked to use his bathroom, demanding that he tell him how he feels without even letting him get a word in before he disappeared– it pissed Mondo off. Saying those types of things, when it isn’t even him who should be in that position. Kiyotaka was the one who was married, Kiyotaka had a wife and a future, to say it all depended on his answer was putting all the responsibility onto Mondo’s shoulders again. Something that when happened stressed him out, enhanced his re-occurring PTSD. Hands shook furiously and he had to close his eyes, listening as the shower ran and he was left with his own thoughts. “1…2…3…4…” Of course he wanted to be with Kiyotaka, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have done what he did last night. He would have gotten up and left and yet the prefect still treated him like a child.
“5…6…7…” His mind raced with all the answers, all the things he wanted to shout at Kiyotaka. The fact that he knows his friend– he’ll go home alright… but he wont tell her the truth. “8…9…” He’ll tell her he was late from work, had a couple of drinks with some friends from there, got drunk and rented a hotel– “10…11…12…!” His teeth grit with the thought of Kiyotaka going back into hiding. Not only because Mondo would be left alone again, but because Kiyotaka would go back to being unhappy. Because he would once again, show his true colors. And as his anger hit the highest level, Kiyotaka walked out of the shower.
Truthfully, Kiyotaka had never felt more lost yet enlightened at the same time. They couldn’t just go back to how they were before all of this and even now he knew he wanted to be with Mondo just as he had back then. The hot spray of the shower washed away any evidence that may have been left from the night before--except those bite marks--he would have to come clean. Maybe. He was such an awful liar, however the truth would ruin the both of them. Everything he’d worked for up until now, even Mondo’s future prospects. How selfish could he be? It seemed as though he were about to put the cherry on the metephorical cake.
A quick wash was all he needed, something to clear his mind even the slightest bit. Clearly it did not work as he’d hoped, if anything Kiyotaka felt more confused than ever. The wrinkled suit as pulled back on his body, the sound of Mondo’s counting greeting him as he opened the door. A small frown formed on his face, the younger man moving to sit next to him as his hands fumbled with one another. His mouth opened, saying nothing whilst he tried desperately to find the correct words to say. Instead what managed to come out was a soft “You are angry with me.”
Kiyotaka looked at Mondo’s irritated expression, nose wrinkling. “I know that you feel as though I am forcing you to make all of the decisions, Mondo-kun. We have known each other for quite some times and despite our initial split from one another I...I can still see what you are feeling.” Stop talking. “I am only asking such things because I am--I would like to be sure we are both seeing eye to eye! I will have to go home today, I will have to say something to her, I...will have to end it somehow; hopefully sooner rather than later.” Just tell him you love him, that you are willing to do this for him. “I do not want to make you unhappy, so that is why...” You’re going to lose him all over again acting that way.
It wasn’t long after Mondo had suggested they go to bed that Kiyotaka would fall asleep pretty quickly. After all they had been through it was a long– tiring night. There was this awkward sensation he felt in his chest when he closed his eyes and leaned against his lover for the nights chest. He was warm, nice and comforting right against his side and soon his own eyes started drooping and quickly with the prefect wrapped tightly around his arms he fell right to bed. Mondo wasn’t one of those people who liked getting up early, especially after some drinks and a good pleasure session but today was different. He woke up with the sun, trying to peek its way through his blackout curtains– he wasn’t sure how they got moved but he wasn’t very happy about it. Moving his arm over his chest his eyes darted sideways just in time to see Kiyotaka getting up. Something inside triggered a warning that he might leave and his brain caught up with his body.
“Oii…” His voice was so groggy, deep and crackling he probably sounded stupid to the other. “Ya headin’ out…?” Straight to the point, at this moment in their relationship it was only natural to ask such a question. Kiyotaka looked distracted, but he couldn’t tell if that was from last nights endeavor or it was the alcohol finally hitting him. He prayed for the latter. Sitting up with the former hall monitor he groaned lightly, his back felt heavy and his head spun with the room around him.
Worst of all, he really was afraid that Kiyotaka was going to leave. Although he had already prepared himself for that moment, Kiyotaka always being the early riser wasn’t the issue it was the mere fact he didn’t look like he had the best night of his life.
The physical consequences of last night were beginning to catch up to him, Kiyotaka’s lower back ached with a kind of gentle throb, and his head was mirroring that sentiment much too well. Mondo’s groggy voice being the only thing that brought him out of his thoughts. He looked down, face becoming hot when he laid eyes on the other man all over again. There was no denying that he was handsome, every fiber of his being was telling him to just stay here; to never answer another call from his wife again and make it looks as though he’d completely disappeared. His hand reached out, brushing against Mondo’s fingers gently.
“Not yet...I could not simply do such reckless things, then leave you to clean up after my own mess, Mondo-kun.” Kiyotaka smiled sadly, he wanted to cry all over again. “Whatever was said...whatever I did last night...” His lips twitched a bit, eyes closing as he felt himself speaking those fateful words. He should have told Mondo to forget it. “I meant all of it...” A heavy breath left his chest as the words rushed out. Not the truth was in the air, spoken by a man who was not being influenced by alcohol nor sex. Honestly, he shocked himself at how easily it came out of his mouth.
“I have many things to think about, clearly I will be--” Kiyotaka grimaced. “Unable to continue on with the farce that is my current relationship any longer.” It sounded so cold to his own ears, but it was the truth. Maybe it merely sounded so harsh because he’d been holding it in for years. His eyes stared into Mondo’s face red before he cleared his throat and moved to get up. “I will be using your bathroom to change if that is alright...I would appreciate it if you would consider your own feelings as well. I...would like to know if last night meant more to you as it did me--and if it did not, then...I would like to know now.” Kiyotaka gathered his clothes gently before making his way to the other room and closing the door behind him.
Mondo scrubbed furiously at the spot that was covered in a mess, he felt awkward just leaving it there so even when Kiyotaka said there was no worry to it he still felt obligated. “I know I know but shit, I jus’ can’t go n’ leave ya like this!” Funny, it was almost like he half expected Kiyotaka to yell at him for doing something so dirty– using a shirt to clean up a mess. A smirk etched itself on his face as he felt his hand come to a halt as he finally cleared up most of the accident. Or, he supposes it wasn’t much of that anymore, now that both were thinking a little more carefully; more cautiously they both still seeming to tread on a fine line of words. A knuckled grazed gently against his chin, Kiyotaka staring at him with the same look he had always given him. Even in school, these looks were almost a near constant but then, it came out unlike any of those other times.
“W-What…?” Mondo glared with confusion, then surprise washed over when he repeated the phrase. “I-In love, wit me?” His tongue felt weird saying that line, was it really okay to be saying that kind of stuff after what they had just done? In the wake of what Kiyotaka had done despite having a wife to go home to and Mondo to stay here with no-one some old part of his brain figured the other was trying to make fun of him. It triggered anger– a deep heated bubble he hadn’t felt this bad in a long time. Perhaps he was just angry that even if he admitted that he loved Kiyotaka back– It would end up ruining the prefect and the life he was aiming towards. Somewhere, deep inside, Mondo maybe knew this would have to be the outcome no matter what was said this night, what they had done it would eventually end.
Licking dried lips Mondo darted his eyes to the left away from the sobs and tears that traversed Kiyotaka’s features. He hated it, seeing him cry, being so unhappy it broke his heart but what else more could he do other than tell Kiyotaka the truth– that he needs to confess to his wife. Tell her that he’s not happy, never has been and that he doesn’t love her and wants to leave but that wasn’t his own decision to make. It would be up to Kiyotaka. Yet, tonight, he would allow that conversation to wait until the morning. Grabbing red cheeks, Mondo slid some tears away and kissed the corners of soft chapped lips. “I like ya… Kiyotaka, alot–” That was just half the truth, what a coward. Couldn’t even say you love him too– “Maybe we should get some rest, it’ll be better in th’ mornin’ a’right?”
They should both be in their right minds when finalizing what the end result of their relationship would really be.
He heard Mondo repeat that sentence with indignant shock, there was no denying their inherent sex, yet Kiyotaka still felt the fear of being unceremoniously disowned by the other man. It had been an accident, but it was too late; the confession was out there for his current lover’s consideration. Right now he was doing everything wrong, taking steps as well as admitting things he shouldn’t have at all. Yet Mondo still forgave him, his fingers wiped away the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes, much like he was trying to wipe his pain away. Lips followed suit, placing themselves there as his own confession was uttered to him. Like...it wasn’t love, but Kiyotaka would gladly accept that as a start.
“Yes...in the morning, I promise.” If only the morning would refuse to come, if the world would remain in darkness for all time just so he may live in this selfish fantasy with the person he came to love. As much as he wanted to stay awake, sleep came all too easily. The alcohol as well as the actual physicality of what they had just done finally catching up with him. Anxiety was building in his chest while he slipped away, nonetheless it was the most wonderful sleep he had ever experienced. Whatever Kiyotaka dreamed of, he couldn’t say and as the light of the morning began to pour in weakly through the heavy curtains in Mondo’s apartment, he felt himself stirring.
Kiyotaka rolled onto his back, eyes unwillingly opening to stare at a white ceiling. Now everything was beginning to catch up to him; everything. He should leave. Now. Stand up and put his suit back on, gather his things, make his way out of this place, yet he still could not bring himself to tear his body away from the man next to him. Kiyotaka Ishimaru had sex with Mondo Oowada, not only that, he had admit those deeper feelings he’d worked so hard to erase. A shaky breath tore himself from him: one of relief as well as apprehension. His marriage was over and as he sat up--running a hand through his hair while he processed the mere idea of such a thing--he felt a sense of freedom washing over him.
Mondo, despite the overwhelming desire to fall asleep after such an intense session knew that wouldn’t be very romantic after all they had been through. A low groan escaped his mouth as he scooted over the other heated body, all this time he had no idea what he was messing but if it was this, he was sad that he didn’t get to do it sooner. Hair hung loosely in his eyes and face, wondering what it would have been like if he had his original long flowing locks to deal with this. Yet as those thoughts came a gentle hand scooted the wet strands from his eyes. And as lavender met red his heart stopped– he was, in what he could only describe as handsome. Kiyotaka was a very attractive man even though he was a guy. In his life Mondo wouldn’t be caught dead calling some other stranger that, not in all his life but in this moment with almost 100 percent certainty that Kiyotaka Ishimaru was more or less, his type of guy.
His face cringed a bit at that thought, it sounded so shallow– that somewhere deep inside he knows he would only feel this way towards his friend. Friend? Was that what they still were or at the end of the night, early into the morning would they be calling each other something different? Slowly he was shoved to the side and in that time he was thinking Kiyotaka was going to get up, get dressed and leave like he had just realized the mistake he made. A part of him wanted to keep his eyes close so he wouldn’t see it, the feeling in his chest painful as it squeezed with the uneasiness of being left all along again. Maybe that was for the better though, Mondo Oowada was a man destined to be by himself; at least that was what he kept telling himself for many years.
A small ruffle, a low sound of sheets slipping and hands once again grabbed his face– how he longed to keep those warm hands on his skin.A kiss followed suit, it was kind. Just like Kiyotaka, it was incredible how the man could say so many words with just his expressions and actions. Then those damned phrases again, that hes important to him. It made him hiss, dragging in a long breath of air as he cupped the prefects cheeks as well, rubbing them over gently with his thumb as the words flowed out with his own wild emotions. “Hn… me too Kiyo… bein; ere’ wit ya, s’ somethin’ I wouldn’t trade fer th’ world…”
His hands traveled down along hips before he felt the familiar, yet unfamiliar squish of their own fluids against one another. Face burned with the realization of what it was and grunted, shoving the other up off him just a tad as he reached for the other side of his futon. Luckily his shirt landed on the mattress and quickly he tried to wipe up the mess. “S-S’rry, my bad I should ‘ave, been more careful!”
How he wished to remain this way forever, tangled in sheets--and each other--he would not be returning home this night, instead he would bask in the afterglow of what true happiness could bring him. Tomorrow reality would set in, there would be choices to make, along with the possibility of the end of his marriage. The thought brought the tightness of anxiety to his chest, however it also brought a strange relief as well. Mondo knew what he was and he couldn’t care less, here he was still sharing soft kisses with him, confessing his own feelings as well. Maybe this was something that had been in the back of both of their minds for longer than they would have liked to admit.
Mondo’s hands ran down his body. over heated and sweaty skin, then to where the evidence lay between his legs. Normally after intercourse, Kiyotaka felt the strong urge to jump up and shower himself off. He wanted to erase the evidence of what had just occurred, but now he was content to just lay with the man next to him. His lips twisted into a smile, turning into a deep baritone laugh when Mondo had a near panic attack coming into contact with the aftermath of their deeds. He rolled over, allowing the other man to do as he pleased while he wiped him down so carefully.
“Please do not worry, Mondo-kun! It is only natural that this would have happened considering our--well--previous engagement with one another!” Kiyotaka was smiling, feeling just like his old self again as he was gently taken care of by a man who was not so long ago doing unspeakable things to his body. His nose wrinkled in glee, brushing the back of his knuckles against a rough, stubbled chin. Everything was building up again, just seeing his face in this moment was almost too much. Kiyotaka was in love; he had been for such a long time now, yet had buried it so deep within him that he’d forgotten what it felt like until tonight. A soft sigh escaped, tears gently rolling down his cheeks as he unconsciously said those words he wanted to say during their lovemaking.
“I...I think I am in love with you...”
Just as soon as it had begun, their night came to an end. Kiyotaka couldn’t remember a time when he felt this incredible. Mondo collapsed on him with a sigh and a curse, his weight somehow comforting when it should have been immense. The only thing he could do was reach out to stroke a sweaty cheek. The other man’s hair was wild; a mane of bi-colored locks tangled within one another whilst Kiyotaka tried to push it away from his handsome face. Handsome...had he really just thought that? It felt foreign yet familiar at the same time. Yes, this truly felt more like the kind of man he was meant to be.
He moved to roll Mondo off of him despite wishing they could lay entangled forever. His senses were coming back to him again, but he didn’t care, he would deal with those nagging thoughts in the morning. The only thing he hoped for was that the biker would not open his eyes and look at him in disgust. Mondo had said so many things in the throes of their lovemaking, he wished so helplessly that they were not the mere ramblings of a man who was simply aroused.
They were both a mess, that fact made more apparent when he glanced down at his body. Kiyotaka wanted to shower, but he could not bring himself to move and the soreness was already beginning to set in. He should say something, break this silence filled with only the sound of their heated breathing. He wanted Mondo to know that he was appreciated, loved, that he did not regret a single thing they did--at least for now. Slowly, the younger man leaned forward to capture the same chapped lips they sought earlier in a heated kiss. Had he the energy, he would have asked for more of that blissful physical contact.
“Mondo-kun...you are very important to me, please never forget that.” The words were spoken so gently against tan skin, Kiyotaka more than anything wishing they could continue like this for eternity.
