thunder clatter

Lilia looked up at him with a furrowed brow, “I was given everything I wanted and look at me, I’m not a spoiled brat, am I?” She paused for a moment, “On second thought, don’t answer that.” She shook her head, grabbing a rag from the counter to wipe off Eliana’s cheeks, “Have you ever thought that she’s eating lunch and dinner too close together? If lunch is at two and dinner is at five, there’s no way she’s hungry in that period of time.” She smirked, shaking her head a bit, “Everyone in your family has good taste obviously. Don’t worry, Kostas won’t steal me away from you.” She said a bit louder than his whisper. Lilia held onto her love like it was the last thing she’d ever do, “Because– I’ve gotten so close to Ellie and you and just– it’s far, Reed. You’ll probably find someone else here in the meantime and I really want you to be happy. I love you so much and I love Eliana too. I don’t want this to change anything.”

Reed winced, “I mean, I didn’t want to say anything but since you brought it up...” He laughed before kissing the top of her head. His eyebrows arched in curiosity, “Hm, I guess I never thought of that. She used to eat like every two hours when she was younger but I guess I never realized her digestive system is probably starting to get on a regular schedule by now.” He shrugged. Reed smiled slightly and reached up to push some strands of blonde hair out of Lilia’s face before kissing her for a moment to calm her down. “I know it’s far, Lil. We can make it work.” He sighed as he grabbed her hand again and held it tightly in his, “Look, I love you, Ellie loves you, we all love you. And I can’t even begin to thank you for how helpful you’ve been to me and Ellie, but I know you’ve been wanting to go to Georgetown for years now and the last thing I want is for you to go feeling guilty about leaving me here, or worse, not going at all. We can make it work with visits and Skype calls, okay? Don’t worry about it.” He smiled warmly. While he did love Lilia, and would love it if they could see each other every day like they have been for the last few months, he knew it would be selfish of him to ask her to stay here with him.

Lilia nodded with pride, “Oh, of course I did. She’s her own little person and deserves to have things special just for her. Spoiled or not, it makes her happy.” She laughed, taking the spoon from Eliana since she was only going to make a mess doing it herself. She fed her a bite, smirking confidently at Reed’s offense, “Daddy’s dinners don’t have treats afterwards, right El? That’s what makes mine special.” Lilia rolled her eyes, giving the little girl another bite after she was finished laughing, “There’s nobody else to worry about– unless you know something that I don’t, then you have to tell me or I’ll crack your toes until you give in.” Her eyes went wide at Reed’s reaction, almost wanting to fill with tears. She expected sorrow, not excitement. It was refreshing and made all of her fears settle. She held him in a tight embrace, just wanting this moment to last forever, “Thank you,” She muttered shakily, trying to keep the happy tears in. “You have no idea how much a relief this is. I thought you’d be upset at me moving ten hours away.”

Reed laughed and rolled his eyes at Lilia’s response, “If my kid turns into a spoiled brat, I’m gonna blame you.” He laughed again, “She shouldn’t have to have an incentive to eat her dinner!” He smiled as he shook his head, “There’s nobody else you have to worry about, everyone in my family loves you almost as much as I do. Breanne’s almost obsessed with you and keeps talking about how cool you are, and I think Kostas might have a crush on you.” He slightly whispered, looking around as if his younger brother might be listening in. He took a hold of her hands after he pulled away from the hug and looked her in the eyes, noticing how they were almost tearful. “Well I mean I’ll be sad when you go but it’s not like it’ll be the last time we ever see each other. Why would you think I’d be upset?” He asked, somewhat confused.

Lilia playfully rolled her eyes, holding onto Ellie a bit tighter, “It’s not my fault that I’m awesome and she and I love to hang out together and gossip about you. Isn’t that right, Ell-Bell?” She giggled at the little girl in her arms and made sure that the towel stayed around her shoulders, “Paranoid? Maybe a little.” Lilia made a lively expression at Eliana’s excitement and put her down as they stepped inside, “Let’s go get your dinner done with so you can get all sugared up afterwards. I have a special one with pink icing and sprinkles just for you.” She explained as she walked into the kitchen with Eliana, lifting her up into her highchair, “El, macaroni and cheese is the best, I can’t believe you passed this up!” Lilia exclaimed as she grabbed a spoon and handed it to the little girl, watching her closely to make sure she actually fed herself, “Well, that’s a relief.” She stayed quiet for a moment before taking a deep breath, then finally breaking the silence, “I heard back from Georgetown today.” Lilia swallowed hard, “I got in.”

#c: lilia #that wasn't the response you were expecting was it weyhey

Reed chuckled, “You got her her own doughnut? You spoil her more than my mom does, Lil.” He opened the box and grabbed a maple bar and began eating it as he leaned over the counter to watch Lilia and see if Eliana would actually eat when she tried to feed her. When he saw the Ellie began eating without hesitation, Reed was slightly offended. He stood up straight with an offended look on his face as he gasped as his daughter, “Oh, you’ll eat when Lilia feeds you but not when Daddy tries to feed you? I see how it is.” The little girl giggled at Reed’s feigned offense, and her laughing cause Reed to laugh as well. He shrugged, “But I can’t promise you won’t run into anyone else here since there’s like twenty people living in this house. So anyone else here that you’re afraid of that I need to warn you about?” He joked. His expression turned serious as his eyebrows raised in intrigue when Lilia mentioned Georgetown, the school he knew she’d been wanting to go to for years now. His face lit up with excitement when she announced she got in, “Really? You did? Lil I’m so proud of you!” He said as he wrapped her in a hug and kissed the top of her head, “I knew you could do it!”

As the small, screaming girl came running towards her, Lilia crouched down to match Eliana’s height. Through the last few months, she’d come to love this little girl more than anything. Seeing her little smile brought so much happiness to her that she would do anything to see it. Lilia scooped up the little girl, holding her in a tight embrace, “Hey, baby girl, I can’t believe daddy let you out here with no pants on! You’re gonna freeze, love bug.” She held her on her hip and snickered at Reed’s comment, “She’s as sweet as can be, I know, but maybe I give her bad vibes or something.” She gave Reed a small peck on the cheek before shutting the driver side door with her hip, “Babe, can you get the donuts out of the passenger seat? Miss Ellie and I have some catching up to do.” Lilia commented as she walked towards his porch. This was it. Once they were settled in inside, she was going to tell him. But if it could wait a thousand years to do it, Lilia most definitely would. She could already imagine the look of heartache on his face. Now was better than later though, right? Or so she hoped.

Reed chuckled, “Hey she was the one that was trying to break free, it’s not my fault if she gets cold.” He smiled as he threw the towel in his hands over the girl’s head, covering her completely. “Hey! It’s dark!” A voice squeaked from underneath the towel. Reed laughed as he pulled the towel up until her head was exposed and just let it drape off of her shoulders and leaned down to kiss the little girl on the cheek before wrapping an arm around Lilia’s hips and kissing her on the cheek. “I think you’re just being paranoid.” He smiled at her comment and walked around the car to the passenger side and pulled the box out of the car. As soon as Eliana caught sight of the box she tried to make grabby hands for it and called out “Daddyyyy! Don-duuuut!!!” Reed tilted his head to the side, “Excuse me young lady, you know you’re not supposed to have sweets until you’ve eaten your dinner and you refused to let me feed you your dinner earlier.” He said sternly. The little girl crossed her arms and pouted, which caused Reed to chuckle. He looked at her and leaned in gently, “Maybe if you ask nicely, Lilia will feed you your dinner and then you can have a doughnut.” The little girl smiled and clapped her hands excitedly before turning to Lilia, “Lil-lah? Dinnoh?” She asked her. Reed laughed as he stepped slightly ahead of the two girls to open the front door for them and let them inside, walking to the kitchen and placing the doughnut box on the counter before making his way back to Lilia. “I think my mom’s working on editing the latest issue of her magazine right now so if you’re really that worried about her I don’t think you’re going to run into her tonight.”

It wasn’t like this was unexpected. Lilia had always dreamed of going to school to fulfill her dream of becoming a government worker specializing in international affairs, and now, that dream was coming true. She had come home from school that day to find a particularly large letter from Georgetown University. As soon as she read the word ‘congratulations’ she saw her whole future finally falling into place. After running to the kitchen to tell her mother, she was struck with instant fear– how would Reed react? Their relationship was just taking off, and now in a few short months, she’d be halfway across the country. Her stomach turned, but Reed would be happy for her no matter what, right? At least, that’s what she hoped. She readied herself in under twenty minutes and ran to Dunkin’ Donuts, picking up a dozen to take over to his house. After she arrived, she sat in her car, hands shaking with nervousness. What if he kicked her out right then and there? Whatever his reaction was, she prepared for the worst. Grabbing her phone from beneath her thigh, she sent him a text that read, “Hi I’m here, i have donuts, and pls come down and open the door bc your mom still scares me. thanks!!!” She hit send as she opened the door, then walked to the sidewalk, waiting to see his cheery face emerge from the house.

Reed had just finished giving Ellie a bath and was just finishing putting a new diaper on her when his phone buzzed with a text from Lilia. He gasped excitedly before looking at his daughter, “Lilia’s here!” The little girl began bouncing around, making it difficult for Reed to dress her, so he just grabbed a towel and scooped her up and walked out of the bathroom and started heading towards the front door. Reed beamed with a smile as he opened the door and saw Lilia standing there. “Down! Down!” Eliana began squirming, trying to release herself from Reed’s hold. “Ellie, you don’t have any clothes on,” Reed chuckled at the little girl, but she still squirmed. She was going to get down one way or another, and Reed didn’t want to drop her so he set her down and she ran Lilia with no shame at the fact she was wearing nothing but her Pampers. “LIL-LAH!” She exclaimed in excitement as she ran to the girl she had come to love over the past few months. Reed was beginning to think Eliana got more excited to see her than he did. He followed his daughter and walked down the driveway to meet Lilia, and smirked, “I still don’t understand how my mom scares you. As far as I know she adores you.” He chuckled.

#p: smile like you mean it #wow i love this character

Text @ Jessa

Reed: What the hell was that?

Jessa: What do you mean?

Reed: I just had to comfort our crying daughter because you didn't have the time to give her a fucking proper goodbye

Jessa: I had company

Reed: And they were more important than you're daughter??

Jessa: No of course not!

Jessa: Jesus Christ you're always trying to make me seem like the villain here

Reed: Who was that anyway? Your new boyfriend?

Jessa: None of your fucking business Reed!

Reed: When you leave our daughter crying because of them you make it my fucking business.

Jessa: Fine! Yeah it's a guy I've been seeing

Reed: What is that, number twelve this year?

Jessa: SHUT UP

Reed: I just don't understand why you had to hang up so quickly

Reed: Wait...

Reed: You haven't told him have you??

Jessa: *Read at 4:29pm*

Reed: Oh my god you haven't fucking told him you have a daughter???

Jessa: We haven't been dating that long! I didn't want to scare him

Reed: And when were you planning on telling him?

Jessa: When I'm fucking ready to Reed

Reed: That's kind of a big thing to hide from someone

Jessa: I'm not hiding it! I'm just waiting to tell him

Reed: That's fucking hiding it, Jessa

Jessa: Reed, it's my life, let me live it and mind your business

Reed: ITS NOT JUST YOUR LIFE

Reed: YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER THAT LOVES YOU AND ASKS EVERY DAY WHEN SHE CAN SEE YOU AGAIN AND YOU CONTINUE TO BRUSH HER OFF WHEN SHE'S NO LONGER CONVENIENT FOR YOU

Jessa: Are you trying to say that I don't love her? Because that's fucking low Reed

Reed: No, that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm just saying it seems like you only want to be her mother when it's convenient for you

Jessa: Fuck you Reed! You have no idea how hard it is for me to be away from her so much

Reed: No. I don't. Maybe that's because I've been the one raising her for the past year and a half.

Jessa: Go fuck yourself Reed

Reed: Right back at ya 😊

#text: Jessa

Smile Like You Mean It || Self

Reed counted the number of jingles that came from the computer as he tried to Skype call Jessa. Five... Six... Seven... He reminded her this morning that he was going to call her, as per her request. Too many times all she ended up doing was yelling at him whenever he called at an inconvenient time for her, so for a few months now they always had to plan their Skype calls. Eight... Nine... He looked down at the giggling girl sitting in his lap, she was so excited to see her momma, and Reed had to pretend he was just as excited as her, when in all actuality he wouldn’t mind going the rest of his life without seeing her face ever again. Ten... Eleven...

Finally the screen lit up with Jessa’s face. Reed forced a smile and waved at his laptop, motioning Eliana to copy him. “Say ‘Hi Momma!’” He feigned excitement. “Hi Momma!!” The little girl shouted enthusiastically as she recognized the face on the screen to be her mother. With a moment’s delay Jessa mimicked her daughter in waving, “Hi Sweetheart!” She said to the little girl. Eliana continued to giggle as she stared at the screen, in awe of being able to see her mother, whom she hadn’t seen in person in almost three months. It was only a couple months ago that Eliana was finally old enough to process the images on the screen and realize that it was Jessa she was looking at and she could actually talk to her, and ever since then she would perk up every time she’d see Reed on the computer, wondering if her mother was on the other side.

“Tell Momma what you saw today,” Reed smiled down at his daughter. “A butterfwy!” She said proudly. Jessa gasped excitedly, “You saw a butterfly? Was it pretty?” The little girl nodded with a beaming smile on face. Reed laughed slightly as he explained, “It landed on her arm while she was on the swing set, and she was a little scared at first but I told her it wouldn’t hurt her and she was very gentle with it until it flew away.” He heard Jessa giggle through the speakers, “Wow, I’m so proud of you, baby! You’re so brave!” Eliana giggled once again, and for the first time Reed realized that Eliana giggled exactly like Jessa did, he hoped that this realization wouldn’t forever ruin the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

“So what have you been up to lately, Jessa?” Reed asked, quickly trying to get his mind off it. Jessa shrugged, “School. Nothing new really.” She answered. The same answer he always got from her. There was never anything new with her. Nothing to talk about. Nothing to share. His daughter spoke up suddenly, “Momma I miss you!” she exclaimed. “Aw, I miss you too, sweetie.” Jessa replied, but Reed doubted that that thought hardly affected her on a daily basis. Reed shrugged, “Maybe you can come back home for a weekend soon, then?” He suggested, trying to put her under pressure this time by suggesting she come home in front of their daughter. Jessa froze, trying to think of a way to answer, “I’ll... I’ll have to look at my schedule,” she said. “Of course you will,” Reed muttered under his breath.

“Well if you can’t manage to make it up here then maybe I could bring her down there to visit for a weekend and we can all spend the day togeth-” Reed began to suggest before he was interrupted by a voice on the other side of the call, but it wasn’t Jessa’s, it was a guy’s voice, “Hey babe, I grabbed some wine while I was out. Who ya talking to?” Reed’s brow furrowed, confused for a moment, even though he shouldn’t have been because some guy walking into Jessa’s apartment with alcohol wasn’t a big surprise. He was ready to patiently wait while Jessa talked to whoever walked in, but suddenly she quickly said, “Gotta go, bye!” and hung up the phone call.

Of fucking course. He thought to himself, Yes I totally agree that if someone brings you alcohol they become a first priority over your own fucking child. He tried not to show his anger exteriorly, so he wouldn’t upset his daughter, but she was already becoming upset. “Momma?” Eliana asked quietly, tears in her eyes. Reed quickly picked her up and walked her over to his bed, trying to get her away from the computer, “No, shh shh, it’s okay.” He tried to comfort his daughter as she cried, “Momma’s just busy, I know she wanted to spend all day talking to you if she could.” He kissed her cheek as he laid down on the bed, holding her close to his chest, “And I know Momma loves you very much, and you’ll get to see her again soon, I promise.” He kissed his daughter again as she cried into his shirt. In actuality Reed didn’t believe a word he was saying. He believed that Jessa loved Eliana, but only when it was convenient for her, which wasn’t very often.

He felt terrible and selfish in the few moments he wished that Jessa didn’t love Eliana at all. All of their lives would be so much easier if that were the case. Reed wouldn’t have to pretend to get along with Jessa and agree to everything she said, Eliana wouldn’t have to deal with only seeing her mother every few weeks through short Skype calls and very few face to face interactions, and Jessa wouldn’t have to deal with being a mother, not that that really affected her life all that much anyway. But alas, this was not the case. Jessa did love Eliana, and because of that, Reed had to put up with whatever shit Jessa caused just so he could assure he could keep Eliana with him. Seeing as they never settled the custody of Eliana legally, Jessa could have every right to claim Eliana as her own at any moment and take her away from Reed and he could do nothing about it unless he wanted to take her to court, which he hoped he’d never have to do, considering that most custody battles tend to favor the mother’s side. So because of this, Reed has had to force himself to get along with someone he basically despised, and agree to everything she’s said and done, no matter how stupid or selfish, just to stay on her good side. If there was one thing that Reed knew about Jessa was she was spiteful, and if he gave her a chance to spite him, he knew she would take it, no matter what the cost.

Reed noticed that his daughter’s wails were becoming quieter, as she slowly fell asleep against his chest, her tears drying, her breathing becoming steady, her small body rising and falling as his chest did with his own breathing. He looked down at the little girl, this perfect girl, the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on, the only good thing that had ever come out of him meeting Jessa. How can someone create something so perfect, so beautiful, and then casually brush her away like she was nothing, like she was merely a trend that she quickly grew tired of? How can someone see that beautiful face and not want to spend every waking moment watching it grow up? How could she not ache so terribly every moment she missed of this girl’s life? How could she not love her enough to see how much this little girl loved and adored her? Or maybe she did. Maybe all this time she’s been aware of how much Eliana loved her and wanted to be with her, and she’s been consciously choosing not to do anything she can to make this perfect child happy.

Reed scoffed under his breath, “Bitch,” he said quietly as he too lulled off to sleep, holding onto his baby girl with all of his heart and all of his might, and never intending to let go.

Tagging along to the supermarket with Reed and Eliana was something that Lilia quite enjoyed. Of course she wasn’t in control, but she’d do anything to help him out. When Jessa left Reed and the baby, she was heartbroken for the two of them. Jessa had been her really good friend, but she never took her as the type to simply abandon her child. Lilia then made it her goal to help out in any way that she could, whether that meant buying diapers or helping out at the supermarket. She had ventured out to the produce section, making sure to pick out a few fresh avocados. Leaving Reed and Ellie alone though meant one thing; cookies. After bagging the avocados and grabbing a bag of carrot sticks, she made her way to the cookie aisle. When she turned the corner, she saw Reed placing a package in the buggy, “I knew where to find you two.” She said, followed by a soft laugh, “Zero self control, Reed.” Lilia commented as she placed the produce in the buggy. She leaned down, face to face with Eliana and smiled brightly, “Daddy has no self control, huh? You better get him in line, but you can eat the cookies, baby girl.” She looked at Reed with hooded eyes, “I’ll have her lecturing you in no time.”

#convo #look at this shit i'm already in love

When Reed heard Lilia come up behind him he jumped back and held his hands up, “It wasn’t me! It was her! She tricked me!” He announced as he pointed to the baby in the cart, who began giggling. He looked at her, “Oh you think that’s funny, huh?” he asked as he began tickling her, causing her to laugh harder. He ceased tickling her before continuing to push the CART down the aisle, knowing Lilia would follow. “It was her, though. She had to convince me to let her have the cookies. And guess what, maybe I won’t you have any until after you eat your dinner, how about that?” he leaned down in her face as she violently shook her head in defiance, which caused him to laugh. “Alright, you got avocados and now I need to get the meat, and... Jesus christ Mother what are you trying to write here? Here, you try and decipher my mother’s encryptions.” He said as he handed the grocery list to his friend.

#convo

Reed hadn’t realized that he unknowingly began walking down the cookie aisle until two small hands shot out from the cart, reaching for the fudge stripes on the shelf. His daughter began making grabby hands at the direction of the fudge stripes and whining incomprehensibly, he turned back and saw them and shook his head, “No, Ellie, Grandma doesn’t need fudge stripes she needs hamburger meat,” he looked at the list his mother gave him, “and green beans, it looks like.” He started to proceed down the aisle and Eliana’s whining began to grow louder and he stopped to look at her sternly, “Eliana, you know that’s not how you ask for things, right?” His daughter hung her head apologetically before looking back up at him a moment later and saying nothing but “Pweeeeeeeeeeeaaaaasssee?” with her eyes widened. Reed sighed as he backed up the cart and grabbed the package but held it behind his back instead of putting it in the cart, “Alright, but you have to give Daddy a kiss first,” he said as he puckered his lips in front of her and she kissed him with a “Mwah!” sound. He smiled as he placed the cookies in the cart and continued on down the aisle.

“Noelle,” He started as she left the room. She had been so calm and collected about everything that he just knew it was too good to be true. She was too accepting of the fact that they weren’t only going to have one life to take care of , but two. Even Jonah had gone through a period where he was scared – but excitement took over fear. He let her walk into the kitchen, before pausing the movie to get up and follow her, “Don’t try to change the subject on me. That stopped working years ago,” He leaned against the counter, “You can talk to me about anything, El. Please.”

Noelle was actually hungry, she was craving popcorn at that moment, so she found a packet of popcorn in the pantry and stuck it in the microwave. When she turned back around she wasn’t surprised to see him standing there watching her. She subconsciously mimicked him and leaned against the counter across from him and looked at the ground, not wanting to look him in the eyes for a moment. She took a shaky breath as she looked up at him and shrugged, a slight apologetic smile on her face, “... I thought this would pass by now, but... here we are less than three months away and...” she trailed off, still too afraid to admit her fear to him.

jonahbenson

Since the day Noelle broke the news that she was expecting, Jonah felt like a giddy middle schooler. There was nothing in the world he wanted more than to be a parent – to be better than his parents were. He wanted to give their child the life that he didn’t have, and he expected that Noelle felt the same. However, when the ultrasound showed two babies on the screen, fear ran through his mind. They were newly married – so what if they weren’t ready for this yet? Jonah worried that with him travelling six months out of the year, that Noelle would get overwhelmed. Yet, the eeriness left him with excitement. As the couple laid lazily on their sectional couch, Jonah couldn’t help but notice that Noelle was biting her nails – an instant indicator that something was wrong, “What’s up?” He asked, assuming that she would know immediately, “And don’t try to tell me nothin’, ‘cus you’re biting your nails again.”