Little Boys in Suits

There's nothing more frightening than two devious genii in one place. This blog is dedicated to Damian Wayne/Artemis Fowl II. Yes, you heard (rather, read) right; Boy Wonder meets Teenage Criminal Mastermind. Welcome to the world of madness and nefarious schemes, and please be mindful of that stray shuriken. Without further ado, let the fun begin.

[fyeahdamiarty]

Wat is you new blog, I went to see your old one only to say that you moved :(

Oh! My new blog is zuckershrugs! There should be a link that’ll direct you to it on my old blog. Sorry for not responding sooner, nonnie!

[zuckershrugs]

Okay okay what about Damian teaching Artemis to fight? (Or, trying to. We both know Arty is not exactly physically fit...)

A/N: Gosh, sorry if it’s a little blegh, I am honestly half-asleep on my keyboard rn

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[elly-faygh-8]

Rainy mornings make Damian cry due to the melancholy. In contrast, Artemis loves them especially during summer.

It’s usually during this “sunny” disposition of his when Artemis tries to comfort Damian, whether he’s wanted or not.

[zuckershrugs]

I feel so bad that I was only able to see this now, but now that I have, I would sell my kidney to see this written

Like!!!!

Damian would be so full of anger and shame. It’s like a constant burden that he carries, a disappointment that he can’t rid of himself of. I think the Al Ghuls are mostly comprised of Alphas and Betas, and having an Omega as the heir of the empire is sure to stir up some problems. It’s probably something his mother would always bring up, or if not, it’s spoken loudly in the lines of her frown and the dimness in her eyes.

Artemis on the other hand would claw his way up to the top; blood, sweat, and tears. He’d use it to lure everyone into a false sense of security before he guts them in whatever trap he’s managed to devise, beautific smile and all. Omegas, especially ones in powerful positions without an Alpha, are always under scrutiny. But Artemis probably considers this as a mark of victory because this is his legacy, and he did it on his own.

headspacedeficit

[zuckershrugs]

Everybody assumes that Damian and Artemis are a couple who are constantly at each others throats because they always seem so tense and closed off whenever people see them in galas and charity events together. But surprisingly, they are very affectionate (in their own way) and tactile. Usually in private though.

[fyeahdamiarty]

Damian knows he's in trouble when Artemis calls * him* "Beloved".

Lord, almighty yesss

Artemis would say it in this sickeningly sweet tone of his, and Damian knows he’s in for it

[zuckershrugs]

Okay okay what about Damian teaching Artemis to fight? (Or, trying to. We both know Arty is not exactly physically fit...)

A/N: Gosh, sorry if it’s a little blegh, I am honestly half-asleep on my keyboard rn

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[zuckershrugs]

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[beesigh]

Damiarty headcanon!!!! Imagine Artemis spending hours ranting to Holly about Damian (before they start dating). Holly would tease Arty about his obvious crush on Damian. And when Damian and Arty started going out Artemis was too embarrassed to tell Holly she wad right so she didn't find out about it until Juliet started teasing Arty about his boyfriend.

artemis complaining endlessly about something damian does that enrages him and holly is just all ‘mhmm yes that’s nice have you two picked out curtains yet’ and artemis is so taken aback and flustered and shocked and holly is so done with this mud boy

[beesigh]

Juliet makes it her personal duty to have the boys participate in more age appropriate activities that don't end in explosions and a stolen Batmobile. In the end, she enlists the help of Dick and Steph, because the two combined are crafty as HELL

they probably do really ridiculous things to try and get artemis and damian to not just go on dates, but do regular stuff like go to amusement parks and playing sports but damian and artemis are so onto them. they end up doing things like fake holding hands and feeding each other to make dick, steph and juliet go wild. but it’s not like they’re doing it because they want to! they’re just trying to trick the others!! 

[aloysius-wishes]

i made a cool ps brush so i had to try it out on artemis of course

[symbioticsimplicity]

Haha I am trash. This was supposed to be a short fluffy fic and Artemis is a little shit I got carried away. Haha, yeah… I didn’t mean for it to go this way, I promise. Um, yes, Enjoy!

 _________________________________________________________

Artemis Fowl II had always had quite the ear for music. Though he could read even the most complex sheet music, he preferred not to. There was something so much more intimate about finding the chords with only his ears and fingers as guides.

As a result he became a forerunner in classical music quite early on. He’d been invited to play first chair violin for the Philharmonic but had turned it down due to a scheduling conflict with a certain underground fairy uprising.

But in his spare time, Artemis still deeply enjoyed playing. While he was a master with nearly any instrument he cared to pick up, his heart lay with violins. Particularly the hand crafted white oak violin inlaid with gold which was made to look like blossoming frost. It had been a gift from his parents some years ago after he’d written a symphony that had caught the attention of several important foreign dignitaries.

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[fyeahfemdamiarty]

Imagine Dami and Artemis watching horror movies together. Dami is completely unfazed. Artemis is denying being scared whilst holding Dami’s arm in a death grip.

[fyeahdamiarty]

Gotham has a lot of clubs which, of course, Damian has VIP access to. The first time he takes Artemis out to see the nightlife that isn't actively trying to kill him, it's awkward. Damian likes to dance and he does it in true Gotham fashion ie. dirtier than Bludhaven stripper. But Arty is all; people, sweat, Good Lord is that a corpse, Oh God those are bodies, how drugged/intoxicated do you have to be to enjoy this music? So next time, Damian sets up a private club in the Batcave.

dirtier than Bludhaven stripper oh lord, yes

With Dick as his mentor, I have no doubt that Damian’s probably got a few new moves up his sleeve. Although I don’t see him as the sort who frequents clubs, he’s probably visited a fair number because this is Gotham and it’s a city that practically thrives at night, and I can imagine a son of Bruce Wayne would receive a number of invitations to the VIP section.

But Artemis, dear boy, is probably scared shitless because Gotham nightclubs are a whole new level of sleazy and danger, in his opinion. And oh god, Dami, how do you even stand all this gratuitous touching and grinding??? 

[fyeahdamiarty]

Damian surprises Artemis at work by bending Artemis over his desk and fucking him for hours on end. Luckily Artemis doesn't doesn't have to go to any meetings that day, but he needs to sound professional when he answers the phone when his father calls to check up on him and Damin refuses to give him a break for the call. "It's not like he hasn't heard you before." "T-that's not the-ah-point! Wait, I n-need to...D-DAMIAN!"

I never get tired of these kinds of headcanons. UNF, YES PLEASE

[zuckershrugs]

I literally know NOTHING ABOUT EITHER OF THEM except what I've learnt from the ship, so excuse me if this makes no sense—But what if Artemis had a knack for art and so sometimes when he missed Damian he'd pull out a sketchbook and draw Damian a couple hundred times. Then one day Damian stumbles upon one of Arty's sketchbooks and Artemis walks in to find Damian going through the book slowly, page by page..

No, no, not at all! In the books, it was described that Artemis had a talent for art, be it painting or sketches, and Damian himself is very talented as well. In fact, Dami has a sketchbook full of character and background studies. But lORDY ME, THIS IS SUCH A CUTE HEADCANON

One of Damian’s features that Artemis likes the most are his eyes, so he has numerous sketches of those colored with gauche or watercolor. He’s also terribly fascinated by Damian’s expressions, because that kid can be very expressive. Instead of the relentless teasing Artemis expected, Damian complimented him and offered to show his own sketchbook. Now I can’t get the image of those two losers sketching away in the patio aND UGGGH

[symbioticsimplicity]

Damian and Artemis always find new hobbies and basically try to one up the other because if there's something that is typically attributed them both, it's their arrogance and pride. Seeing a competition in each other, it becomes this sort of 'game' of sorts to see who does it better, whether it be a board game (don't even get them started on Risk or Monopoly) or a field of science.

That gives me life.

Damian tripping Artemis when they’re playing tag with Myles and Beckett. Artemis crushing Damian when they’re trying dominoes. Can you imagine them with something that’s actually fairly violent already like slap Jack? Oh my god or them ‘cooperating’ for a three-legged race? Give me all the dumb troopes on this one.

[fyeahdamiarty]

There will be literal bloodshed when it comes to Monopoly and Risk. Dick just wants to go through a family night without having to referee a fight between his brothers and Artemis.