FOR HONOR.

zuko from avatar : the last airbender.

[fyrbends]

FYRBENDS independent and private writing blog for zuko from avatar : the last airbender. canon divergent as influenced heavily by the animated series and personal headcanons. default verse takes place after the events of the series. written by nikki.

affiliated : @kakiaktok, @kakushiha. main : @seismictoph.

A STUDY IN : honor, atlas complex, trauma, familial bonds, self - sabotage, isolation, abandonment, choosing kindness, torment, daddy issues, reluctant successor, duty, body dysmorphia, infamy, and loyalty.

01. carrd. 02. canon divergence. 03. headcanons. 04. metas.

[kakushiha]

at first she ignored the start of his tirade, used to this same routine, yet she pauses, despite her reluctance to spit her venom he's beaten her to it. eyes burning as he compares her to them. the people who hurt him most, the people she watched scar him to the fanfare of the court. despite risking her life for this man, this fool she had to convince herself she loved. despite throwing away her security and betraying what once was her best friend to the risk of death. no, that didn't matter. she was just like them. she doesn't realise when she stands, mai doesn't even notice that her face reads as angry, that her perfectly crafted mask has been tossed aside as she first studies him, the man who ran the nation personifying his element. so without thinking she seeks to put out that fire before it consumes the room they sit in. mai didn't even register that she had cracked her palm over his face, striking the right side of his face, the unmarred part of him. but when she speaks, when she remembers where she is, her voice isn't flat. it's filled with venom, emotions that she had withheld since she was a child. "i have sacrificed everything for you! i have thrown away every dream i have ever had to try and offer a semblance of stability for you, to keep those scheming rats away. do you think i want to sit in your shadow as a wife, as an accessory to your rule? do you think i like sitting around whilst people in your court openly conspire against you? only for you to brush me off because you know best?" her hands ball into fists as she snaps. "i'm here because i refuse to let you navigate the same court that grinned when you were hurt for caring too much. you are walking barefoot in a viper's nest and you don't think that one day you'll get bitten! no you live in this damned fantasy where your emotion and your passion is being used against you at every turn! you act as if i'm blind and deaf! as if i haunt your life like some ghost. i'm sick of it zuko, i'm sick of living in your shadow and pretending i want this!" she calms only when she feels hot tears roll down her cheeks. she's never been this angry before. it's exhilarating. it's terrifying. maybe he's right about her. "you know why i don't leave? because i want you to stop pretending that i don't see the way you look at her, before crawling back here and lying to me. you're right i don't want to waste my time question every choice you make. but if i don't do it. someone will eventually take advantage of your good heart."

[fyrbends]

she's always so poised and collected that he doesn't realize what she's doing until she's on top of him. his eyes watch her as she closes the distance and sends him blinking back stars. his face turns left, a ringing in his ears that's usually reserved for his left side has taken over his right. he can feel the blood and heat filling his cheek from the impact and he's at a loss for words. but she's not.

he watches as every emotion crosses her features and then finally landing on betrayal. he sees the tears that roll down her cheeks and there's an instinct to reach out and stop them that he quells. this is not the time. she is not the woman. instead his fingers curl into his palms, nails digging into his skin to try and calm the fire that's burning inside him that's seem to spread to mai. it's the first time he feels like he's seen her, bare bones, and it's amazing in a different way then he expected. she was a caged bird in the fire nation and this was the first time he could see every inch of her that needed to be free.

❛ i'm sorry. ❜ he says finally. his voice is soft, almost defeated as he stares at the rage before him. and he was. he was sorry for what the war had stolen from her. what he continued to steal from her with his presence. and what his relationship with katara stole from her as well. he knew what iroh had done to protect him. what everyone had done to make sure that his role as the fire lord wasn't as tumultuous as it should have been and somehow he'd overlooked her. the statue in his corner. he'd taken her for granted for so long he barely recognized her speaking up. sometimes, he shudders at the thought, he was his father's son. ❛ i know that my reign hasn't been easy on a lot of people within the palace as well as the fire nation but i never... stopped to think what your role played in it. i just... i want to do the right thing. i don't want to be like my father or azula and sometimes when i see you i just... ❜ he frowns as he looks down at his hands. he stares at the small crescent shape his nails have made into the palms before looking back up at her. ❛ i hate that sometimes in meetings i picture you with my sister and i know that's not fair but i can't help it. and after everything... i know this is the last place you need to be reminded of who you were. ❜

he takes a shaky breath before looking away from her at the tapestry hung on the wall. his eyes follow the detailed design in a way to calm himself. to center the storm that's raging inside. ❛ i can't help how i feel. ❜ he says as he continues to follow the design, not want to look at her. he didn't want to feel the way he felt. to steal glances at his friend's girlfriend. to want to reach out and hold her hand. to want to confide in her the minute he heard something of note. he didn't want to constantly picture his life with katara in comparison to without but he knew that as much as he tried to push it away, it came up. and he knew that mai understood that. he looks back at her finally, a pained expression on his face. ❛ i know you know that too. ❜

[fyrbends]

@nuiruk : ❛ i keep my anxiety bottled up, where it belongs. ❜

prompts no longer accepting !

he takes a deep breath in at her words before exhaling softly, nodding. he knew what it was like, keeping everything inside because that was better, easier, and stronger. but the more he's learned from his experiences and the world, the more he's realized how untrue all of those beliefs were. keeping everything bottled up did nothing but ensure that you're a ticking time bomb of emotion. something, he's learned the hard way, is never good.

❛ how's that working out ? ❜ he looks over at her finally, eyes taking in all of her features. he knew how strong of a person she was. how the loss of her mother had shaped her into the woman that stood before him. that the war had taken away any allowance to feel and be vulnerable. but he also knew that something they were both working towards was that healing. and not just for the nations of the world. ❛ uncle... he always tells me that i have to deal with my emotions. feel them which i always think is stupid... until i realize i'm upset in a meeting about something that happened days before. ❜ he offers her a gentle smile, eyebrow raising slightly. he'd been around her enough to know that usually any outbursts she had were brought on by something else entirely. ❛ sound familiar ? ❜

[rasputinaillyanna]

Josh Andrés Rivera as Sejanus Plinth in The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)

[kakiaktok]

she's careful, almost too much so. fingertips barely brushing against the shell of his ear, the nape of his neck. it's a shame that she doesn't have any of her combs or beads, but maybe there would be other opportunities to decorate zuko's silken hair in the styles of her tribe. she shifts to rest on her knees, giving herself a slightly better perspective as she cards her fingers along his scalp, calculated & soothing, beginning to part his hair into sections.

❝ we don't have to talk, if you don't want to. ❞ she answers with a shrug, a lilt of amusement underscoring the words. it doesn't escape her notice that he's starting to ramble. truthfully, she wouldn't mind enjoying this gentle moment with zuko in silence. but there's something so endearing about his apparent uncertainty, the words stumbling over his lips. she kind of wants to keep him talking, just to see if he continues to squirm. surely there's nothing wrong with that.

reassuring, katara rests her palm against the slope where his neck curves to the shoulder. her hand is cool, even against the warmth of his collar, & she smiles soft, even though he couldn't see the expression. speaking to his back, she smugly adds, ❝ but i am glad that you trust me so much. ❞

[fyrbends]

he softens at her words, shoulders dropping as he exhales. he didn't know why his skin felt tingly. the thought of katara's fingertips brushing against his skin sent something through him that almost made him want to yell from the rooftops a feeling he hasn't felt in a long time. he can feel his chest swell with the next breath and he has to focus on it not coming out shaky, he has to focus on being normal in her presence. he can feel the rush of heat that fills his cheeks and he's thankful that he's facing away from her in this instance because there's no telling the questions she'd ask about why her fingertips running through his hair is making him so flush.

❛ i trust you with my life, what's my hair ? ❜ the words come out before he can stop himself and something in him tells him that that's not a normal response to her. he's thinking too much, doing too much, and he knows that when he gets overwhelmed like this that there's no telling the nonsense that will come out of his mouth. so he closes his eyes, breathing slowly before focusing on something else. anything besides the feel of her hands on his hair and the breath he can feel on his skin. ❛ are you going to come ? to the gala ? ❜

[fyrbends]

@kakiaktok : ❛ what did you have in mind ? ❜

prompts no longer accepting !

he smiles at her at the question. he wanted a lot. he wanted to start their life already. to rewind to after that agni kai and to tell her how he felt, aang be damned. he wanted to be honest with mai and free her. he wanted to allow katara to not have to have the burden of diplomacy and the southern water tribe on her shoulders the way she did. but he can't undo the past. and so he smiles with the knowledge that all the could do now for themselves, their future, and their people was move forward.

❛ i want to go to the southern water tribe. ❜ he says finally, the idea he's been toying with for weeks finally spilling out of his mouth faster than he could help. he hadn't consulted with iroh or any members of his chamber. this change was absolute and this change needed to be grounded in tradition as well as love. ❛ i want to talk to your father and grangran about your people's traditions and... i want to incorporate your culture into our royal wardrobe. ❜ he takes her hand softly, staring into her blue eyes so intently he feels almost lost at sea. a calmness takes over him that only she could conjure within him from a single glance. ❛ you are going to be important to the fire nation even more than you already are but i don't want your family to get lost inside mine. we have to rebuild together. ❜

he knew what this would mean when he presented the clothing and changes. he hoped it would exceed beyond the palace walls, the same way her braiding his hair had. all around the fire nation, adults and children alike were adorning their hair with beads and braids. he saw it when he visited schools and saw children braiding each other's hair or a vendor selling hand crafted colorful beads. he had noticed the small ways the fire nation had incorporated her into their lives without hesitation. his love for katara had shined through simple changes and they had morphed into something else entirely. a hope that one day, everyone would be one and know of each other. and as small as these changes had been, some intentional and some not, he knew that with her by his side it was a step in the right direction. ❛ what do you say ? ❜

[fyrbends]

in a modern college au where he’s a political science major with a minor in theater.

his major is for his family, who is practically politics royalty due to generations of politicians but the minor is what he really loves.

he goes to slam poetry nights and hangs out in the corner. he submits his artwork to art shows under a pseudonym and never collects any money if someone buys it, he just donates it. he desperately wants to be in the school plays but he can’t so he works on stage design or anything they’ll let him just so he can be close to the curtain. he knows all the best spots and hidden gems around the city for good art and tea and people.

[fyrbends]

+ if he likes a play he’ll absolutely go more than once. he collects playbills.

+ he always has a little sketchbook on him and a pencil so he can always doodle / sketch while he’s out and about. when it’s warm, he’s usually outside doing the majority of his art while he prefers to sit in the windows of cafes and people watch and sketch that during the colder months. he goes through multiple sketchbooks every season.

+ he rarely speaks about his father and his political affiliation if he can help it.

+ he spends the free time he does have outside of school + art / plays helping his uncle in his tea shop. he doesn’t really like working the register since he’s not the best at small talk but he finds joy in bringing out the tea, cleaning, and making sure everything is organized and neat behind the counter. he leaves the fraternizing to his uncle.

+ he applies to be an RA in the dorms after his sophomore year so he doesn’t have to live at home as he prefers staying on campus with everyone.

+ he loves spending time in the library.

[fyrbends]

in a modern college au where he’s a political science major with a minor in theater.

his major is for his family, who is practically politics royalty due to generations of politicians but the minor is what he really loves.

he goes to slam poetry nights and hangs out in the corner. he submits his artwork to art shows under a pseudonym and never collects any money if someone buys it, he just donates it. he desperately wants to be in the school plays but he can’t so he works on stage design or anything they’ll let him just so he can be close to the curtain. he knows all the best spots and hidden gems around the city for good art and tea and people.

[fyrbends]

@seismictoph : ❛ i'm having fun, i promise. ❜

prompts no longer accepting !

his brow goes up at her words before he smiles. ❛ you might want to tell your face that. ❜ he looks around at what she's built up since the war ended and how she's made a name for herself. to say what she's done is impressive would be an understatement. he knows the time and effort that goes into making anything of note so this wasn't just an afterthought of toph. this was a labor of love. or it at least started out that way. ❛ what's wrong ? ❜

[heartwilled]

      "Oh, not long," Ty Lee replies airily, coming to sit on the steps next to him. Beneath them, Caldera City stretches out, coming to life once again despite the setting sun. The streets below would soon fill with its night market crowds far greater than they had been in a century—a sign that the Fire Nation no longer marched to the beat of the war drums. She rests her chin upon her hand, careful not to smear the white paint upon her face. "Despite the lingering unrest, it really feels like the capital is a totally different place these days. Maybe it's 'cause everyone's starting to move forward."

      "I know it's up to us to make amends, after everything we've done. But sometimes..." Ty Lee hesitates. "I wonder if we'll be ever reach a point in time where we can all put the war in the past, some day. When we're old and wrinkly, maybe."

[fyrbends]

he looks out at the streets below them and how carefree everyone seemed to move. something about it and it's stark contrast to him growing up made him know that they were moving in the right direction. even if ty lee didn't see it yet. ❛ i know we are because of the small things. ❜ he smiles before turning his head to the right and looking at her sitting there in contemplation. ❛ the schools are already teaching things different than how we grew up, the theatre and plays aren't all about how great the fire nation is... it's all changing ty lee. ❜ he offers her a reassuring nod before looking back at the merchants setting up their carts and booths. ❛ even if we never see it all, it's changing for the better. ❜

[fyrbends]

@kakushiha ( akuma ) : ❛ we haven't met yet, have we ? ❜

prompts no longer accepting !

he looks over at the man in the dimly lit there and there's a sense of familiarity he can't quite put his finger on. he pushes the thought away. ❛ i would assume you've been to one of the galas at the palace if you're running everything here now. ❜ his head tilts up, right eye taking in the expression of the man standing before him. there's a scar that cuts through his brow along with smaller ones across his face and zuko wonders at his history. was the man before him another victim of the fire nation or of his father's circumstances. his lips press into a contemplative line as he blinks at him. who was the man that ran ember island ?

❛ unless you remember a different meeting. ❜ he offers a smile, teetering on mischievous and curious in thought. zuko had spent so much time before being fire lord chasing the avatar, running from his father and fire nation law, and hiding in plain sight. perhaps this man knew of a different version of the fire lord entirely than what even he remembers himself.

[bndair]

only the briefest of glances is spared towards the dramatic flopping , fingers still working on the task at hand. mouth opens to retort that clearly zuko has missed the point of his nomadly wisdom when the firebender continues on. it's the last statement that strikes a cord and earns a scoff. eyes roll so hard his whole head rolls with them. ❝ how would you know ? it's not like you've met any monks besides me. ❞ and aang has heard what fire nation schools teach about the nomads —-- it's so wrong !

shoulders rise and fall in concomitance. ❝ if you wanna go get food so bad , then go get food ! i'm not stopping you —-- ❞ truly ! he's not. ❝ --—just the territorial family of goat gorillas guarding the only other food we've seen around here , but i'm sure you can take 'em, zuko ! ❞ he's peeled two more nuts between zuko's tantrum and his own snarky words —-- both good ! three chestnuts for aang ! zero for zuko , apparently.

[fyrbends]

there's a groan that escapes zuko that sounds almost like a strangled goat gorilla. the exasperation in his body and the theatrics of it all aren't lost on zuko but he doesn't care. hunger has taken over. ❛ you're the avatar, can't you... i don't know. talk to them or something ? ❜ he looks over at aang who is calming peeling away at the nuts without a care, seemingly, in the world. ❛ plus, even if all of those nuts are good, and they're not ! you're still going to be hungry and we're still going to be stuck behind a family of goat gorillas. ❜ he places both hands on his face and swipes down, huffing the entire time before dropping his hands at his sides with an intentional thud. ❛ we have to get out of here !! ❜

[fyrbends]

@kakiaktok : ❛ i'm having fun, i promise. ❜

prompts no longer accepting !

he grabs her hand with ease and intertwines his fingers as they walk along through the festival. he knows that there's eyes watching them of the fire nation but he had made it a point to leave all of the weight of the fire nation in the palace. only a few kyoshi warriors hung around on the outskirts despite his requests for them to enjoy it as much as he was trying to. ever since he had reinstated the twin sun festival, there had been small glimmers of hope and excitement within the fire nation. it was something he hoped would be full of music, laughter, food, and art. a celebration of a once a year phenomenon where the appearance of two suns in the sky marked the peak of winter and an early spring. it was supposed to be fun but the look on her face was telling zuko otherwise.

            ❛    are you hungry  ?  or tired  ?    ❜    he stops mid stride and looks at her, head tilting to the right to get a better look at her.    ❛    you can tell me if you want to go back to the palace or... if it's something else...    ❜    he frowns at her before he looks down at their hands and lets go. he had been excited to be amongst the fire nation citizens and partaking in normal festival activities as regular as the fire lord could be but he hadn't realized that made for her, it was all a little too much. perhaps, he thought, in his excitement to be with her, he hadn't fully understood her feelings on outings in the fire nation.

[kakiaktok]

there is no image of zuko's mother in her mind, but katara tries to conjure one anyway. at least a silhouette of this woman, faceless though she may be. no matter their element, a mother was a mother - someone who cared for & shielded her children. sometimes even at an impossibly high cost. it's a sentiment that katara herself is far too familiar with. she watches in silence as a few stray tears fall from zuko's eyes, & she swallows down the instinct to reach out & wipe them away.

❝ you're right. she sounds like a wonderful person. ❞ she says at last, her own voice straining around this strange, shared sorrow they both carry. such a similar loss suffered in entirely different parts of the world, now brought together beneath the same starry sky. she isn't sure what else to say, if there's any comfort that she could possibly offer him. if they were closer, perhaps she would reach out to rest her palm on his bicep, in a quiet show of steadfast support. but she doesn't want to overstep, or make him uncomfortable, instead, she looks back to the moon, swallowing around the tightness now forming in her own throat.

[fyrbends]

he swallows the lump that's formed in his throat and the fire that engulfed his body. he knows about katara's mother and the shared loss that they've both experienced. he stares out at the night sky in silence as he tries to focus on the stars a million miles away. he blinks back the tears that have formed in his right eye making his vision equally blurry until the night finally focuses around him. it's a strange line of sight he's gotten used to. a field of pin point stars that fall away into a blur of points in the night sky. he wonders if his mother is looking at the same night sky, if his father was telling the truth, and he wonders if katara was able to experience this with her mother before she died.

❛ what was your mother like ? ❜ he turns his head slightly to look away from the sky to her. she blurs before he tilts his head to allow his right eye to bring her further into focus. he can see in the moonlight the sorrow on her face and his brow furrows in thought. ❛ was she like you or sokka ? ❜ he offers a smile at the thought of a woman being anything like sokka. he could, however, imagine a woman as strong and passionate as katara.

[kakushiha]

it's the same lie, the same joke of a statement that she has heard nearly eight times before this one. unlucky nine. her jaw set, grinding her teeth, biting back a statement she was sure to start another screaming match the palace staff will pretend they had never heard. in place of her venomous comment, one that would have snapped at him and how little he must have thought of her or how he attempted to shroud what her eyes could see. she wasn't a fool, she knew how her betrothed softened for ocean blue, for hands that healed as compared to hands that hurled. how she wants to smack him upside the head for daring to believe she was stupid enough to not see this very fact. instead she clicks her tongue and scoffs. "as if yelling at you is going to get anything through that thick head of yours. you don't take on anything i say zuko, and the things you do decide are so important are so stupid that i-" she huffs in frustration, her hands coming up to rub her temples. "whatever, this doesn't matter you're only going to focus on something i haven't said or accused you of." she sat herself down on a nearby chair, shoulder's hunched, a position her father would have spat at her to fix a lifetime ago. yet something lit in her stomach and as swiftly as zuko asked her that question she replied, not with venom, nor with fire. just exhaustion. "i'll let this go when you be honest with me. but we both know you're incapable of that don't we?"

[fyrbends]

brow furrows as he looks at her. stupid. it was the second constant in their relationship as it had grown. he was stupid and she was always right. and a part of him hated her for how true that statement was. how easily everything about the fire nation and ruling and diplomacy came to her while he fought constantly for every little thing. he was always struggling to fit in and say the right thing, do the right thing, be the right thing but he knew that he would never be that for her. that no matter what he did, zuko wasn't the right person for mai and maybe, to an extent, he wasn't the right person for the fire nation. it was something so deep rooted inside him, this feeling of inadequency that he couldn't shake the anger that was swelling up inside him.

❛ i'm always honest with you and all you ever do is call me stupid ! ❜ his voice is loud, full of rage and exhaustion as he looked at her. ❛ not all of us can be this... this unfeeling robot running the fire nation. that's exactly how my family got into this mess in the first place. no feelings, no passion, no... nothing ! and you're just like them and azula. just walking around always being right and never having any feelings or mistakes or anything on any matters. ❜ he grips the chair's arm rest, vision blurred with anger that he wills away. ❛ what you want from me will never happen because i like to feel things and be passionate and care about people. i know that's a foreign concept for you since you're so used to be cold but i'll never be like that and i don't think that makes me stupid !! ❜ he huffs out the last of his words with so much anger he's surprised that no flames are engulfing him now. he feels like he could set the whole room ablaze and as he's staring at her, the words that had spilled from his mouth settling before them he's taken back to a different time when similar words were spilt.

he closes his eyes and lets out a long, drawn out sigh. his finger traces the engraving on the chair's armrest before he opens his eyes and looks back at her. he wants to say he's sorry, that he doesn't know how they got to where they were, but he can't because he knows. and despite his better judgement and all of the venom they've both spared and spilled in their time together, more words come out before he can stop them. ❛ why are you here ? why don't you just... leave and let all of this go ? you can't want to spend your days calling my decisions into question and talking about katara. ❜

[fyrbends]

TWIN SUN DAY FESTIVAL

this is a festival that zuko reestablishes as part of the fire nation about two years into his reign. this is an old festival that marks the appearance of two suns in the sky ( typically called a sun dog ) that happens during winter, usually the last week of february. it also marks the likelihood of an early spring.

like most festivals there is a lot of : music, food, street performances, vendors selling a multitude of fire nation knick - knacks, fire works, etc. this festival goes on for a week with a large fire works display ending it.

[katara]

Zuko | Requested by @thatoneperson1967