"well, well, well, Evil Stew Goblin," i said, narrowing my eyes as i faced my arch nemesis.
we stood across from each other, just a few paces apart, him armed to the teeth with his various and sundry stew-based weapons and me with only my Thermos.
i looked into his eyes, those Evil, Evil eyes, and saw within the stew of hatred that was his soul a presence of mutual respect. a deep understanding, the kind that only true rivals can have. for that was what we were. two souls bound together by the inexorable prescript of Fate.
and when i looked into the Evil Stew Goblin's Evil eyes i knew this. and he knew too. and i knew that he knew. and he knew that i knew that he knew that i knew that he knew. and i knew that he knew that i knew that he knew that i knew that he knew.
"behold!" i cried, to my enemy, and all who would hear. "a pale horse. and his name that sits on it is Death! and Hell follows him!"
and i raised the Holy Thermos, and opened the first seal... or at least, that's what i meant to do. but the Soup God was overeager, and the power of It which i channeled came out too strong. and by mistake i opened the first three seals on the Thermos.
it is an act ordained by God, i told myself.
great and terrible energies began to spew from the Thermos' broken seals—think something like colored fog, but more ethereal. and spewing out with such force that it was really less like fog and more like high-pressure steam. but instead of dissipating like steam, the energies became opaque, and swarmed upon the sky.
and the earth began to quake. the trees and the houses shook. the streetlights tottered like pendulums and came crashing down. transmission towers trembled in the distance.
and the sun became black like sackcloth of hair. and the moon appeared and became as red as blood. and the stars appeared and fell from the sky like ripe figs from a shaken tree. or actually more like meteors crashing down on earth and killing people and destroying things... because that's what they were.
and the power of the Soup God flowed through my veins; and raised me high up into the air; and i saw in my peripheral view that my fur glowed with a golden light.
"Bosses of the Goblin mafia," i intoned, speaking with the Voice of the Lord. "hide thyselves in the dens and the rocks of the mountain; and say to the mountains and the rocks, 'fall on us, and hide us from the face of him who sitteth on the throne.' for the day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?"