G0LEMS: a low effort but much beloved portrayal of Dispatch's 'Golem' Sideblog to @fa1lmech . See fa1lmech for rules page.
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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@g0lems
G0LEMS: a low effort but much beloved portrayal of Dispatch's 'Golem' Sideblog to @fa1lmech . See fa1lmech for rules page.
main blog/rules - about - headcanons - memes/prompts - open starters
golem has been moved to @/call4hero !
golem has been moved to @/call4hero !
golem has been moved to @/call4hero !
golem has been moved to @/call4hero !
“ I am not against biting you right now. ”
"I wouldn't recommend it. Most people don't like the taste of dirt," Golem replies, voice calm and unbothered by Sonar's harsh remark. "Besides I absorbed some concrete with a spike strip in it earlier. Biting into a spike strip would make for one expensive dentist trip."
🪶 — #DISPATCH (THE GAME): part 2 Quotes from episodes three and four. Contains some n.sfw phrases. Part one.
Woah, woah, woah, what are you doing?
How can you just toss it around like that?
It just feels like you could be a little gentler with it.
Evy time I walk in dis place, I get sad.
I'm poor. Is that what you wanted to hear? Does that make you feel better?
This da type apartment you see when da detective kick da door in, you know? Shine da flashlight... Serial killah shit.
That sounds pretty fucking important.
You know, I actually met your dad a long time ago.
That's longer than any conversation I ever had with him.
I would let literally everyone here melt in eternal hell, including you, before anything happens to this dog.
I refuse to believe that's what he sounds like.
I don't know, sometimes you gotta shake things up.
It felt a little impulsive, but maybe it was a long time coming.
Are you happy?
Only god can judge me.
False. I am judging you right now.
You don't need to be first, you just can't be last.
Serves them right. You let your guard down, you perish.
That's a pretty fucked way to live.
Emphasis on "live."
I'd be impressed by this if I wasn't in ever increasing pain.
I'll behave... Maybe.
Swift as the night, sharp as my knife.
My grandma just got scammed by someone claiming to work for you guys.
Close your eyes, you're not gonna like what you see anyway.
She's fine. She just, uh, walked into my sword with her face a little bit.
I don't believe in punching women. But I do believe in punching demons.
Shitty street kids love me. I'm like their king.
What's the matter kid? Can't climb fire escapes?
This is now the second time that you let him get away.
No shit? That's crazy.
I offered him a seat.
Most people would look around this room and see a bunch of villains.
When I look around this room, what I see is potential.
Unfortunately for you, it's a curse.
'Cause there isn't a thing in the universe that goes more wasted than potential.
I'm here to help you lift the curse of potential.
Burn up who you were and become who you were meant to be.
I thought they didn't let us kill people around here.
I'm like a psychic, man. I can sense where they are going to be before they happen.
Teamwork? Isn't that like a sex thing?
Some people are born to be heroes. I'm not one of them.
You have no idea what I'm dealing with.
At least you were born with powers.
According to your dumbass theory I should be an accountant.
Fate. Destiny. Not having powers. Seasonal depression. None of these things kept me from being a hero before. And they won't keep me from being a hero again.
Go be great one more time.
I didn't think it would work. I don't get it.
Everyone has a shot. People are who they chose to be.
Don't you got some work to do?
Don't you got some dementia to onset?
Sometimes it's more about the person than the powers.
Did you just give me an up-down?
You two got one weird energy going on, huh?
Can you handle dis HR violation some uda place? I got work, yeah?
I can do this all day.
Is that your car?
I don't have a car.
That's gonna be a weird insurance claim.
Me? Why me?
Anytime. Well, actually no, not anytime. Uh, just sometimes. Occasionally, barely any...
Where was the shootout?
I didn't think taking a desk job would have me bleeding this often.
Bathrooms are for shitting after your first coffee and picking shrapnel out of your chest, not for whatever this is.
You ruined this for me!
We're out of somebodies. You're gonna have to make do.
How would you like to have to walk around work the rest of the day with shit all over you?
It was an accident. You don't have to be a bully about it.
You're just being a soft bitch about it.
Did you eat my lunch? Why would you do that?
I don't want to be a snitch but [ name ] was really hungry.
Well, if you're gonna eat it I wish more of it got into your mouth.
I'm even reasonably optimistic that you deserve it.
Listen, you tried and you suck. It happens.
From now on stop caring about what anyone else thinks.
She was the only thing I was passionate about.
I don't think that's healthy. You should have more loves in the world.
All I'm saying is what you need to do is find the next thing for you to be passionate about cause it's out there.
I wish to make love to you again.
So what are we like, friends now?
I think we're getting there, don't you?
Can you just be normal for like a second?
This is nice. What were you gonna say?
Do you like sour patch kids?
Hey kid. Love ya.
Love you too, Unc.
Don't fuck this up.
ABOUT
*I have copied and pasted all of the info from the wiki. I will post headcanons in the future to add more details/my own spin to Golem <3.
About
Golem is a construct; dirt and mud made sentient with magic.
Biography
Golem's current background is unknown.
Personality
Golem is a mellow, levelheaded construct.
He tends to speak informally, making a habit of calling other heroes ‘baby,’ and using slang such as ‘kobe’ and ‘that’s the gravy, baby’ when succeeding a mission. He practices being polite, trying to smile more but remarks that he doesn't have enough teeth for it, and resolving to try and not ruin anyone's carpet when dispatched.
He has a proud side, boasting 'let's show these molehills a mountain' and 'someone order a mudslide?' Despite this, Golem admits to being dimwitted, saying he has rocks for brains. He mispronounces ‘humongous’ when angrily asking who called him ‘a humuncuous', though it's also possible he was attempting to express someone had referred to him as 'a homunculus[1]'.
He occasionally makes excuses for his failures, blaming a failed mission on a headache for his subpar performance. Otherwise, he takes his failures in stride, saying ‘better luck next time.’
Blonde Blazer thinks he’s lonely, a claim somewhat evidenced with him being on dating apps, and having dated a cliff side before, citing it didn’t work out. He enjoys rock climbers, saying that they're handsy.
Appearance
Golem is a towering construct of brown colour and varying size, changed by the amount of material he absorbs on a given day. He has a built torso and comparatively smaller lower half, having shorter legs and large arms and hands. Several debris are stuck in his body, including a large tire in his right bicep, and several unidentified pieces half-sunken in his back. Large pieces of rock are embedded in his arms and legs.
He has yellow-orange eyes and a prominent underbite.
Powers
Diamond in the Rough
When Golem is in a call with 2+ slots, certain ones may grant +2 to a stat and −1 to others when he’s assigned.
Spread Thin
Golem expands to fill each empty slot, increasing his stats by 25% pe slot up to %200 when beneficial. (Optional Hero Training skill)
Found Himself
Once per shift, all of Golem's stats can be reset within the Hero Database, allowing redistribution of points. (Optional Hero Training skill)
Relationships
Robert Robertson (Mecha Man)
Dispatcher and hero. Golem doesn’t place much faith in Robert’s ability as a dispatcher, betting that he would quit on the same day as his first shift.
Despite this, he carefully follows his orders to ‘stop, drop, and roll’ when dispatched to ‘Bigger Blaze in the Burbs,’ reciting it slowly to himself before following it through.
Invisigal
Friends and co-heroes. Golem is amiable towards her, comfortably sharing the latest events in his life when dispatched together. He admits to taking a break from dating apps, to which Invisigal responds that he does better in person anyways. He's used to her using her powers, lightheartedly telling her not to disappear on him, to which she acquiesces with little complaint.
Trivia
He’s one of the few heroes that Danny Diaz hasn’t antagonised, being amused at the nickname ‘Bone Zone’ for the host.
He's not opposed to eating garbage, asking anyone if they've seen any, saying he's starving.