i've been missing my whole life @gabebautista - Tumblr Blog

mcntoya‌:

Rafe let out a scoff as he heard his brother’s teasing words, rolling his eyes —– in a most affectionate way, of course. “I don’t have a girlfriend, for starters,” Rafe began; though, if he were to think about what was happening to him, he’d begin realizing how the girl Gabe was talking about was the only one Rafe had eyes for. “And secondly, I’d kick your ass. Then maybe Sibel can watch you get your ass kicked. Have you told her how you feel yet?” Rafe rose his eyebrows, looking at Gabriel with a knowing look —– even a blind man could see how Gabe felt about Sibel and although Rafe was blind to his own emotions, he could read his brother just well enough. At Gabriel’s comment, Rafe couldn’t help but let out a small sigh. The Capo had always thought that if he ever saw his sister again, if she had, by some miracle, survived the attack on his family —- which the press sold as breaking and entering gone wrong, which Rafe knew was a lie —- that he would be happy to see her. Then again, he would never have guessed he would end up in bed with a mafia in Las Vegas, which made him more likely to die before he reached his forties. Now, all he could think about were her words and what him being in her life and her in his could mean for both of them. “No. At least I hope not.” Rafe mused, realizing he didn’t know anything about his own sister. “She —- she hates me, man. She thinks I left her to die.” Which, Rafe realized, Gabe did not know the first thing about. Sure, he knew about his father, his mother and how they both died, how Rafe’s house was burned to a crisp. But he had never mentioned the fourth person in that house. If that wasn’t bad enough, the icing on the cake was about to come out. “She thinks I’m worse than my father. There’s no coming back from that.”

There was a cocky smirk, a Gabe special. “Maybe we should have a go right now, you know? Let’s hope both of our ladies are around to watch this happen.” At the mention of Sibel, that smirk dropped, and he shook his head. “Nah...I think she’s better off not knowing. I mean, we’ve been friends for so fucking long, you know? So why ruin a good thing with whatever the fuck these emotions I feel, huh?” He rubbed his knuckles against his palm. sighing. Besides, what was more important was Rafe feeling down in the dumps about a little sister hating him. “Isn’t that a thing kids do? What do you call it---a tantrum, right. But that’s good, her not being involved in the family business, I mean. That would suck.” But Gabe wasn’t processing the gravity of the situation, still not understanding why, till Rafe said that. “Oh...oh damn. That’s cold.” From what Gabe knew about the late Montoya senior, with all his cruelty and lack of humanity, he couldn’t imagine being called anything worse than that. Of course, Gabe had witnessed the second bit first hand in a warzone, but...He frowned, looking at Rafe. “Have you tried...I dunno...talking to her? Conflict resolution comes from talking things through. Face to face. You know, with her all throwing the conflict in your face and stuff.” But there was something else Gabe wanted to ask, wanted to know. “Who is she? Do we know her? From before, I mean.”

#rafe03 #( this is gospel for the fallen ones || convo )

mcntoya‌:

Rafe rolled his eyes, amused by his friend’s words. “If you keep bringing it up, I might just deck you to shut you up.” It was a joke, of course —- if Rafe was going to punch Gabe, he wouldn’t let him know about it. The moment he began walking towards a more private area (which many would see as his office if he actually spent some time within those walls), the realization that he was about to speak about parts of his past finally dawned on him. He could feel his hands fidgeting, this hollow feeling in his chest begging to come out through any means possible. How the fuck was he going to do this? Just thinking about it, about how Mira blames him for everything, about how he betrayed her and left her to die… It made him want to ask someone to punch him so he could forget about those thoughts for a moment. After he opened the door and walked towards the old desk in the somewhat bare room, Rafe waited until Gabe closed it behind them before turning around and looking at his brother-in-arms. “I had a sister. She died fifteen years ago,” Rafe began, not a fan of going into more detail unless Gabriel asked about it, “Surprisingly, I ran into her a few days ago. So, she’s not as dead as I thought she was. That’s it.” Rafe tried to keep his own tone casual, as a way to avoid making the whole subject seem more important than it actually was, in his head.

Gabe raised his eyebrows, his smile only growing as Rafe spoke. “Maybe we should do it after work, where your girlfriend won’t see me kick your ass.” What Rafe did with his free time was his own business, but if Gabe couldn’t tease him about Bea, then who would? He followed the other man towards the barren office, observing the walls and out of habit, checking for exits. Gabe had a thing about exit strategies, and even in the company of the only person he trusted in Las Vegas, he couldn’t help himself but observe the entryway and the table. Closing the door, Gabe drew in air, inflating his cheeks and waiting for Rafe to say something. He was leaning against the door, as his brother in arms opened up about something that was clearly too painful to talk about. Gabe was about to interject, to ask why a dead sister was bothering him so, fifteen years later. Call it his lack of familial attachments, but Gabe didn’t understand siblings. Blood relations were foreign to him since the day his father died. But then came along Rafe’s explanation and it all made sense. He nodded, looking at the table legs, searching for the right things to say. Let curiosity get the best of you. “Thought you’d be more...happy about that. I mean, I don’t have much experience in that department, but I’m pretty sure if I found out my dad was still alive, I’d not be standing in an empty room right now.” He could have joked about something, but it didn’t feel right. “What’s really going on, man? Is she caught up with the wrong people? Or...” He couldn’t think of the worst case scenario, but it must have been bad enough that it had Rafe all worried.

#rafe03 #( this is gospel for the fallen ones || convo )

youre-my-bucketlist

#( otp; if you've been waiting for falling in love / you don't have to wait on me )#( the fear of falling apart || media )

mcntoya‌:

Rafe listened to Gabe’s words and he found himself rubbing his index and thumb together, processing what was being said to him. It wasn’t that he hadn’t expected Gabe to apologize, no —- if anything, the other Capo was the only one that had Rafe’s full trust, in spite of everything. Rafe just didn’t expect anyone to right any wrong with him. He was used to it, in a way, he realized. That had to be the reason why Gabe’s apology had caught him by surprise because he couldn’t think of anything else that would make his brother seem so unapologetic about being an asshole; then again, he was a proud motherfucker. They both were. “Apology accepted.” There was no way anything else was coming out of Rafe’s mouth concerning Gabriel’s apology. Although it still felt good to hear it, part of him knew he had overreacted to the whole thing. “We got what we needed off of our chest and I’m not gonna have a go at you, man. What the fuck is wrong with you?” His last words were meant to lighten the mood, but they hadn’t even worked on his own. Rafe let out a sharp sigh, he could feel his chest tightening. He ran his hand over his face before he looked around and then down at Gabriel, who was sitting down. “Can we talk somewhere more private? I got something I need to tell you.” He had to tell him about Mira, especially after Gabe had just apologized for keeping something from him.

Gabe let out a sigh of relief, like a weight had been lifted from his chest and he had been unburdened of a sin he didn’t know he was carrying. The two of them were men of few words and Gabe knew that that was all there was to Rafe’s statement. A corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk, and he breathed out a laughter. “Hey man, sometimes you just gotta...you know, punch it out.” He motioned with his fists, imitating a left hook, all the while trying to uselessly contain his chuckle. This was nice, and he was ready to leave it that. Gabe was going to bid Rafe a good day and then leave and fuck off for the day. He was making moves to get up, when the other man spoke again. Eyebrows furrowing, Gabe nodded. “Sure this place isn’t secure enough?” He knocked the surface he was sitting on, still in a mood to joke. But he got up anyway, and nodded. “Lead the way, buddy.”

#rafe03 #( this is gospel for the fallen ones || convo )

sibelerdcgan‌:

The laugh that escaped her was genuine. “Root beer is good too. Everyone loves a good pun.” Sibel shrugged as he asked the point of keeping a tree alive too long. “If you’re the kind of people who put decorations right after Thanksgiving, than I guess you need the tree to be alive until Christmas. The people of Pinterest will stop at nothing.” Things with Gabe were easy, they always had been. Being near him was effortless, natural. Sibel often wondered what would happened if she crossed the line, if she was cautious and acted blindly. But then she saw him and was reminded of how much she needed him in her life. And nothing was worth compromising that. “Did you have business at the club tonight?”

Goodness, this woman was going to be the death of him, and Gabe wouldn’t complain about going out that way. If Sibel thought a good pun was funny, then he would take that as a win for himself tonight. He found himself chuckling with her, and then the comment about putting up decorations only made him chuckle harder. “I...you know me, always need to be reminded to put something up at the apartment. Remember last year?” It was the first time he had invited people over for some canned ham and customary celebrations during the holidays, and the first time Sibel had been surprised by something Gabe did, which was forgetting to set up a tree. He liked that about them, about how oblivious she was to his feelings for her. That was good, that meant that Gabe could keep pining from a distance and Sibel would never notice. “Uhh, no I just...got done with a shift. Letting the Cleaner do what she does best now...we don’t have to talk about that. You done for the night? I was thinking we could grab something to eat, and then I could drop you home?”

#( this is gospel for the fallen ones || convo )#sibel01

mcntoya‌

With the tension between him and Gabe, Mira’s sudden appearance into his life and his lack of sleep just from the night before (and not for a good reason either), Rafe was not having a good time —– and his exhausted self had even less patience to deal with little mistakes than usual. He let out a sharp sigh, looking at one of his employees. “Go get this fixed. Now,” he spoke through gritted teeth. As the man left, Rafe ran a hand over his face and was about to walk to the staff room to unwind before he heard his brother’s voice. Rafe turned around to face him. “Yeah, sure.” Now that Gabe was right in front of him, Rafe got the urge to tell him about Mira, about that part of his life that he kept under wraps even from him. “What do you need?”

Now that Gabe was here, this conversation was starting to seem a lot harder than it needed to be. He didn’t like being the one apologizing, something to do with all the ego Gabe stuffed himself with. But he was in the wrong, and no amount of ego was equal to losing a friend. “...I just dropped by to apologize. I was...harsh the other night. I know you liked her, and we caught a rat anyways, but...I should have been more thorough. That was the least you deserved.” He sat down on a table, right foot twitching as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I...this was trust misplaced, and I don’t like the thought of you not being able to trust me anymore because of this. Yes, Dilan came to me about her affiliations and other interests. No, I didn’t put two and two together at the time, that she might have some personal interests. I was focused on what was good for the family at the time. If there’s anything else you want to know, ask me. If you wanna have a go at me, I’m right here and I won’t make a sound. I just...I just don’t want this to affect our friendship.” Gabe could have said working relations, but this guilt didn’t stem from lying to a co-worker; this was because Gabe felt guilty about lying to his brother.

#rafe03 #( this is gospel for the fallen ones || convo )

abrightsunset-deactivated201910

#( the gnashing teeth and criminal tongues || face )

Gabe didn’t like ending things like they did with Rafe the other night. The subject of Rita Daniels was a sore one for the man too; keeping a secret was starting to make him hate Dilan, and it didn’t feel good keeping things of this magnitude from his brother in arms. And their interactions showed that. Taking his off day as a chance to make things right, he found himself scanning the floor of the casino in search for Rafe. “Hey man, can we talk for a second?” @mcntoya

#rafe03 #( this is gospel for the fallen ones || convo )

paceyjoeys

#( the fear of falling apart || media )#( brotp; pew pew and kaboom )

bisexualbellamyblakeinjail

#( the gnashing teeth and criminal tongues || face )#i dont know man #just all this bde #im attacked

rafe 📲 gabe

Rafe: No, never heard of it, ever.

Rafe: Pendejo.

Gabe: Hey man, knock it off with the name calling

Gabe: Poopy head.

#rafe02 #tag tba; text

rafe 📲 gabe

Rafe: Already said it.

Rafe: What do you think is going to happen to either of us? One of us is gonna go first. It's a fucking miracle we're both still alive.

Rafe: Alright, whatever, man.

Gabe: Ever heard of wishful thinking? You fuck.

Gabe: Yeah yeah, whatever.

Gabe: Good night Montoya. We've got work in the morning.

#tag tba; text #rafe02 #iM SAD NOW GOODBYE

rafe 📲 gabe

Rafe: Who knows in this line of work, right? Maybe I'll get shot again tomorrow.

Rafe: This is about you not telling me shit, Gabe.

Gabe: Don't go saying things like that, you motherfucker.

Gabe: I'm going to show up at your door and beat your Grim Reaper black and blue, you got that?

Gabe: Look, this was hard on you. I didn't want to make this any worse than it was.

Gabe: I would have never been able to turn the gun on my girl like that. So sue me for trying to take the guilt off your shoulders.

#rafe02 #( this is gospel for the fallen ones || convo )

sibelerdcgan‌:

Sibel had been on stage earlier. As soon as she was done, she rushed to the shower, always feeling the need to take one after. The make-up, sweat and body glitter needed to be removed. She had spotted Gabe while she was up there, in between two spotlights and she had winked at him, to let him know she knew he was there and would come see him after. As she sat down and looked at him, she felt like something was off. An eyebrow raised at his question, one of the last thing she would ever thought to be asked. “Water I guess? Pinterest has all these sprite and water ideas for christmas trees but I’m guessing water is still the best thing. Why, are you looking to ask one out soon?”

Gabe looked at his hands before looking up at her, a nervous chuckle escaping him. “I was going to say root beer, because trees have roots and beer’s a thing that people drink...but yours is funnier. It just lands better.” All this time that Gabe had, while Sibel was on stage, and all he could think of was fucking root beer. He had been entranced by her dancing, by the way she moved on stage. The man had been attracted to her then, and even now as she one upped his joke and made him sweat, he couldn’t help but liking her more. “Honestly though, what is the point of keeping that tree alive longer than it needs to be huh? Christmas is over, let’s move on, am I right?”

#sibel01 #( this is gospel for the fallen ones || convo )

mcntoya‌:

Rafe scoffed; Gabe was right —– rich kid, rich dad… if he got caught, he’d be let off easy. Unless, of course, he didn’t. “Dude got scared because of an unconscious guy on a kitchen floor. How do you think he’d fare if the police decided to question him?” Rafe couldn’t look at Roman and saw the same joke that had made Gabe laugh; Roman knew Rafe’s face, he knew enough that he could become a liability. Rafe didn’t like it. “We should. Maybe he’ll shoot himself with it and make my life easier. Glad you’re getting a laugh out of it, motherfucker.”

That thought made Gabe chuckle; his own adventures with the police went about as well as they did every time, a little slap on the wrist and then some talking to from Underboss about being more careful. “Ahh...I’m betting ten bucks he’d start with trying to flirt his way out of his cuffs. It’s fucking gross, but it gets the job done right. But here’s hoping he never gets caught. For all our sakes, really. You sure he didn’t piss his pants after that unconscious guy? Don’t know why, he seems like a weak dude.” It was fun to take the piss on this guy, and they were blowing off some steam. “Wouldn’t that be a dream, buddy. Shoots himself in the dick and decides he’d rather retire to a ranch than this place. Don’t think he would. He’s like the rest of us, got that taste for this lifestyle.”