IM GONNA FUCKING SHOOT LARS BARRIGA

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

WHERE THE HELL IS MY PERIDOT

[emerald-youniverse]

Who- who the fuck are you?

@galaxy-conquering-emerald

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

THE COOLEST CAPTAIN IN THE DAMN UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

@gayspacedorito YOU'VE BEEN OFFICIALLY PROMOTED BY ME, EMERALD. YOU'RE NOW MY

RIGHT HAND GEM

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

I SHOULD PROMOTE PERIDOT

[senorita-piggy-toes]

THATS A GREAT IDEA!

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

FUCK YOU I ALWAYS AND EXCLUSIVELY HAVE GREAT IDEAS

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

I SHOULD PROMOTE PERIDOT

[lars-fucking-barriga]

Wow! I thought I was fucking dead!

Jokes on you, universe, I can’t die twice!

[gayspacedorito]

Good!

ENDLESS TORTURE IS JUST WHAT YOU DESERVE, BARRIGA!

[lars-fucking-barriga]

What’d I fucKING DO TO YOU???????????

[gayspacedorito]

YOU STOLE MY BEST FRIEND’S SHIP!!!! AND NOW, YOU SHALL PAY!!!!!!!!!

DIE, BARRIGA!!!!!

*AIMS LASER CANNONS AT LARS-*

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

YEAH!!!

GET HIS ASS

[gayspacedorito]

I AM BETTER THAN EVERYONE HERE.

EXCEPT SLINKY.

[gayspacedorito]

AND AQUAMARINE.

AND EMERALD.

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

THAT'S RIGHT! MY MAGNIFICENT AND EVER LOYAL PERIDOT SIDEKICK

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

You are a gremlin baby! Accept it!

WHAT!!! HOW DARE YOU I AM NOT!!! A GREMLIN OR A BABY!!!!!

GHHHRGH!!

I CAN AND WILL DESTROY EVERY PLANET IN YOUR SOLAR SYSTEM YOU DISRESPECTFUL ORGANIC!!!!!!!!

[gayspacedorito]

BATTLE STRATEGY

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

FOOL PROOF PLAN!! GREAT JOB, PERIDOT!!!!!!!!

[senorita-piggy-toes]

What if he's not afraid of needles? That's why you need poison to coat the drill in.

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

SILENCE, PUNY ORGANIC BITCH!!!! THE PLAN IS PERFECT!!!!!

[senorita-piggy-toes]

Okay, but if it fails I will vibe check you.

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

HOW DARE YOU!!!!! MY VIBES ARE PERFECTLY REGULAR!!!!!!!!

[gayspacedorito]

BATTLE STRATEGY

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

FOOL PROOF PLAN!! GREAT JOB, PERIDOT!!!!!!!!

[senorita-piggy-toes]

What if he's not afraid of needles? That's why you need poison to coat the drill in.

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

SILENCE, PUNY ORGANIC BITCH!!!! THE PLAN IS PERFECT!!!!!

[gayspacedorito]

BATTLE STRATEGY

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

FOOL PROOF PLAN!! GREAT JOB, PERIDOT!!!!!!!!

[gayspacedorito]

@galaxy-conquering-emerald

I BUILT YOU A NEW SPACESHIP

ITS...MUCH SMALLER (PRACTICALLY A SINGLE SEATER SANS THE SIDECAR)

BUT,

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

INCREDIBLE!!!!!!

YOU MADE THIS BY YOURSELF, PERIDOT?? YOU MUST BE THE MOST ELITE OF YOUR KIND, A VERY WELCOME ADDITION TO MY CREW

[im-one-popcorn-bitch]

@galaxy-conquering-emerald Hey green cat BITCH I bet i have a bigger spaceship then you.

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

*AGGRESSIVE AND RAPID SLAMMING OF DOOR* ARRRGGH!!!

SHUT UP YOU GARNET ASS BITCH!!! I HAVE A WHOLE FLEET OF COOL SHIPS!!!!

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

@lars-fucking-barriga

STOP!!!! STEALING!!!!! MY FUCKING!!!!! SHIP!!!!!!!!!!

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

I WANT

MY

SUN INCINERATOR BACK!!!

[little-blue-bitch]

*drip*

*drop*

*drip*

*drop*

…

Where… am I- what? What is- what’s wrong with my… why do I have claws? And- oh, stars, my wings! What’s wrong with my wings?!

They… they look awful! They’re so rigid, it… it’s- this can’t be right! What happ-

… Oh. Oh… oh, I… remember now… but what could have caused such a thing…? And… what reversed it…? And… can I still fly, even? My wings are so- oh, good, they do work… thank stars… but… the only thing I can think of that could have caused such a thing is… oh… oh, no, no, they wouldn’t do this to their own gems, they would never…! Wait- Topaz! Was Topaz affected? And… has she recovered just as I have? Oh, Topaz, why did you wander off, you stupid… pebble…

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

YOU DUMBASS FUCKING AQUAMARINE WHY DID YOU GO HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

so uh why did you call me runt? (peridot-but-what-the-fuck

@peridot-but-what-the-fuck

BITCH BECAUSE YOU ARE A RUNT

EASY FUCKING PEASY IDIOT!! GET OUT OF MY OFFICE

[peridot-but-what-the-fuck]

i can reach your kneecaps easier since i’m smaller

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

[peridot-but-what-the-fuck]

*Steals her fucking kneecaps and runs*

[galaxy-conquering-emerald]

BITCH WHAT THE FUCK THATS MY GODDAMN KNEES!!!!