Ghorza, it’s not how you think!
So, yesterday, I was listening to some songs on spotify while playing Skyrim. I decided to go marry someone, so that my kids wouldn’t be home alone all the time.
So, I looked through the Skyrim Wiki to take a look at my choices.
And who do I see? Mah gurrl, Ghorza, is still single! Hell, yeah, let’s do this!
I went to her, did the quest, asked her to marry me, set up the wedding, all of that stuff. Everything worked fine, everything was peachy.
Until the actual marriage. So I listened to the preacher’s speach, said ‘I do‘, and the dialogue window didn’t disappear.
Ooookay, minor glitch, that’s fine. I exited the dialogue myself, and my shield began flickering. Graphical fuckup, who cares? It’s Bethesda. Moving on.
I tried talking to my wife, and... nothing. But wasn’t there something like this? I have to wait till she gets out, right? Weird, but still fine.
And then I tried to exit the temple. And the fucking game freezes. I didn’t even get a loading screen!
I started again, this time trying to save before leaving, and - the game freezes again! While saving! Even after 15 minutes, it was still frozen!
Long story short, I tried for three hours to just marry mah gurrl, and I couldn’t! I reloaded, deactivated all my mods, broke up to try again, tried to marry via console (only to find out the cheats only let you activate the dialogue options for marriage, which didn’t help me), just everything.
At the end, I had to give up. I broke up with Ghorza, for good. It was the only way I could get out of the temple.
And as I sat there, just as heartbroken as her, with every NPC thinking I’m an asshole, which song starts playing?
Fuck you, Steven. I hate your show anyway.
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