👁👅👁

proud cat parent — 25/Bronx, NY they/them, i guess - i don't care lmao

[tokijin-deactivated20170926]

miss depression: *releases me for a quarter of a second*

me: wow. i feel so goo–

depression: Time’s Up Bitch.

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

[pizzanet-blog1]

whoever created chinese food is my hero

[panducky]

probably the chinese

[lesserjoke]

Reblog this post with your weirdest ancestor’s name.

I had a great-grandfather named Kermit Dickman.

[wuqs]

why did you start a competition that you’ve already won

[mahoganymamii]

[doctorstarlock]

Me whenever I see a corporate ad trying to say “we’re all in this together”:

[fyuu]

can u make ur callout posts shorter 😒 im not gonna read harry potter and the problematic tumblr user

[masonicbeheadingritual]

[900wounds]

I’m screaming lmfao

[my-slideshow-wmv]

[egodepth-deactivated20180727]

I wish I had a car bomb. I wish I was like 9 so I had balls. Läl. Her boyfriends tall and he plays Madden ‘06 so how am I gonna cum. So when I asked her out she said I was put in the hospital for type 5 diabetes. I wish I was a little.

[toastbutteregg]

the public has spoken

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[thebootydiaries]

me: puts forth minimal effort in an attempt to solve a problem

me: ive tried EVERYTHING

[primordial-fungus-monolith]

[golfgalaxy]

i might get in trouble for saying this but feet are actually so nasty they belong in socks and nowhere near a mouth im risking my life to post this so plea

[telltaletypist]

[parkore]

feelin like those pics of michael myers eating rn

[parkore]

[nickiampaynaj-deactivated201601]

Obama: U busy?

Harry: I’m shooting a perfume ad..

Obama: Is that the one i smelled on you last night? ;)

Harry:  Barack please……………i’ll see you later.

Obama: :D

[gublernews]