âI love that word. Forever. I love that forever doesnât exist, but we have a word for it anyway, and use it all the time. Itâs beautiful and doomed.â
â Viv Albertine
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@ganjagod-dess
âI love that word. Forever. I love that forever doesnât exist, but we have a word for it anyway, and use it all the time. Itâs beautiful and doomed.â
â Viv Albertine
âNotes to self: 1. Live authentically 2. Work ambitiously 3. Choose courage over comfort 4. Money makes me feel secure, not happy 5. Everyone thinks theyâre right 6. Alcohol feels good at first and becomes a burden later 7. Worrying is praying for your worst nightmare 8. Material luxuries are best when limited 9. Keeping expectations low is a good strategy 10. Itâs never right the first time 11. Everyone who is vulnerable is interesting 12. Most things distract you from realizing itâs easy 13. Trust what you want, not what you think you will work 14. Walks exude inspiration 15. Over time, I get better at everything and take it for granted â Raad Ahmedâ
â
ANGEL of MAGNIFICENT REVOLUTION
Seeker of radiant peace
Angel of spiritual peace đźđź
Grease Monkeyâ˝đ
wrap me up in your arms please
Thief of the Moon seriesartist : Norman Lindsay, 1924
âLife has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.â
â Joseph Campbell
iâm so done with the way girls in twenties are treated. iâm so done with people who literally create timetable for us. 20- 24  find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, 27-29 get married. iâm so done. iâm do not want to get 2 a.m texts from my best friend who is freaking out that she is gonna die alone. i do not want see my 20 years old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. i do not want see us falling for every nice guy who does not look creepy. i do not want to see girls get sad or paranoid just bcos they do not fill in the schedule. you are ok. you should enjoy your life at its fullest and one day you will find 10/10 so do not pursue 6 just because you do not want to be single. it is ok and one day you will find someone. do not split your love with people who does not deserve it. keep it for yourself and when time will come you will know. i know it hurts. i know you wish u could just open part of yourself and release the buzzing love. but not every kind of love is romantic. show it to your family, friends, plants, yourself.
Not a real criticism, just an expansion really, but ⌠ itâs not just the timetables we need to get away from, but the goal itself, I think.  âOne day you will find someone,â sounds comforting, but the reason it doesnât lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know itâs not necessarily true.
My aunt is over sixty, never married, and never, so far as I am aware, ever even had a great romance. Â She dated a lot, but never clicked and now seems to have given up. Â My mentor is over seventy, divorced her asshole husband more than half her life ago and has never found anyone since.
We all know women (and men) like these.  And because we know them, we know that âone day you will find someone,â is just ⌠hogwash.  Because sometimes you just ⌠donât.  Or sometimes you do, but he turns out to be a cad.  Or you do and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible.  And because society has us so fixated on finding âour other halfâ or whatever, we view these women as cautionary tales.
But âŚÂ
My aunt trains dogs. Â Her schipperke is the national champion for his breed. Â She spent so much of her life as a librarian, nurturing the love of books in kids, myself among them. Â I ride horses because of her, and itâs one of the very few things I do that makes my soul feel at peace.
My mentor is one of the best criminal defense attorneys in her state.  She has devoted her life to fighting to ensure that everyone gets a vigorous defense.  Because of her countless people have had the opportunity to turn their lives around.  Because of her, theyâve had a life to turn around.  Because of her, the prosecution and the police in her jurisdiction are forced to behave ethically and adhere to the rule of law.  Sheâs still, even now fighting to abolish the death penalty.  Itâs because of her that I am pursuing the life I am.
These womenâs lives are not nothing. Â In fact they are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 amâs, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.
So love your family, your friends, your pets, your gardens. Â Love your job or your hobby or your raison dâ etre, whatever it is. Â Love sunsets and the smell of rain and yourself, and donât love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these as things worth loving all in themselves.
Itâs fucking hard some days. Â The dark 3 amâs still come sometimes. Â But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing that I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life, if it ended today, is worth it because of the platonic, familial, friendship love I have shared. Â And if the other kind does come someday, thatâll be nice, but it wonât make any of the others less. Â Itâll just be caramel sauce on a sundaeâtasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.
I needed this today.
âCourage doesnât always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day, saying, âI will try again tomorrow.â
â Mary Anne Radmacher
âShe did not want to move, or to speak. She wanted to rest, to lean, to dream. She felt very tired.â
â Virginia Woolf
To Those Who Wonder Where I Went:
I started to go missing at the age of 6. When the pieces that shaped me were slowly taken and given away when the weight of obligation to fix those crumbling around me became an urgent priority. Empathy is a curse in a crowded house. I was innocent, a child. Unaware one day I would run out of pieces.
I Have searched for things to fill the missing spaces but they are all short of an answer. I tried to stop the bleeding, but it only got worse. I have yelled at The Night. The Moon knows my plan. She sees the broken glass, the vacant shell that I call my body.
If you look close youâll see. Parts of me trailing up and down The East Coast. Each violent encounter required something. I am pulled in every direction. I have been mutilated by words, both said and unsaid. I was here once. My fingerprints are proof - But every person that has taken a part of me with them, has used parts of me, taken advantage of my unconditional love, the people who have left marks on my skin, watched me bleed. Who knew about the broken things, but chose the comfort of silence over my safety, who didnât grab my reaching hand, but instead, watched me drown - that is where I went.