23 men 1 cup

GapsBetweenStories on AO3

[fuck-customers]

[kaijuerotica]

every hockey fan on the dash currently has the energy of a coyote gnawing its foot off in a bear trap

[cynids]

nhl offseason in a nutshell so far

bottom ten team: we have just paid a player that no one has ever heard of TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS

jason robertson: no i dont want to be paid 15 million dollars by YOU. who want me tho? no fr who want me?

ducks: we HATE our group

canes: we LOVE our group

half the league: captains? anyone want to be the new captain? no?

kings: i am going to pay a random 40-year-old 8 million dollars a year. yes this is getting us a cup

kraken: well fuck me i guess. worth a shot

connor bedard: i am going to KILL MYSELF

mike grier: well they dont call me big money mike for no reason. you get 8 mil and you get 8 mil and everyone gets 8 mil except for the guys who were alr on the team!

panthers + also gleb for some reason: i am going to KILL EVERYONE ELSE

habs: oui oui puppies! and kittens! and rainbows! and every one of them gets a choco chunk cookie (reasonable contract and term).

danny briere to his ex situationship: "hey... time to run it back... no fr tho... u still want me?" *crickets* "ok watch me money spread. you want me now?"

everyones goalies for some reason: "bye"

elliotte FUCKING friedman: your favorite fourth liner just got sent to HELL for future considerations

dylan larkin: hey so about that trade

[gaps-between-stories]

THAT FUCKING 2ND LINE

[gaps-between-stories]

"last time b*ffalo was in the playoffs was 2011" you know what else last happened in 2011

[gaps-between-stories]

nikita zadorov kill t*ge t*ompson and you will be reincarnated as a lotus flower

[gaps-between-stories]

going empty net with 1.7 seconds left in the 2nd oh they're RATTLED

[cosmicanger]

[gaps-between-stories]

"14 year playoff drought and already angst is starting to creep in" yes YES

[confusion-is-wonderful]

Rubbing Geekie's bald spot like a gene in a bottle because that bitch is gonna make all my wishes come true

[brandoncarlo]

i’d like to apologize now for any shit i talk about your team during the playoffs…SIKE i’m not sorry at all!!! fuck your team!!! it’s the playoffs!! square up buddy!!!

[brandoncarlo]

I started getting a bunch of Tumblr notifications all of the sudden and didn’t even need to check to know it was this one. Merry playoffs everyone.

[gaps-between-stories]

1 month ago: yeah if the b's can't do it then guess i'm bandwagoning b*ffalo

right fucking now:

[nounagesimus]

aerin frankel is the only pwhl goalie who doesn't need a gun. for obvious (keller) reasons

[gaps-between-stories]

bobby mcmann you have the opportunity to do the funniest thing PLEASE

[gaps-between-stories]

"seattle #10 has 5 minutes for fighting"

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[stargazers-satellite]

my partner said something that kinda rocked my world