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@garethvaldyr
Panic Attacks
Lea’s words made my stomach sink. I’m an idiot. I really am an absolute idiot.
I trusted her!
She assured me she was handling matters. She told me she was using her magics to make sure. Gods, we even spoke about her fears of bearing bastards!
What do I do?
Lea replied to me, to my terror, voice even and harsh.
"if she is...you have the hard questions to ask. First and foremost if SHE wants your child. Then decide if you want them. If she doesn't and you do she might be willing to carry it and give it over to the family. If she does and you don't you could also...give it over to her line, they're small enough. Set up some funding for the expenses so she can raise the kid in dignity. Or if you both...want the kid, she wants you...you could marry her. Make it legitimate, ensure she and the baby are taken care of. It wouldn't be the...worst thing in the world. Having an adoring wife. Long as she doesn't get tired of you and want someone else but...that's...many many questions down the line. Alternatively you could just get Roanvi to kill it."Â
Six above.
This is happening. It’s my fault, my stupid lust, my desire.
And of course, it never ends there, does it.Â
I’m such an absolute idiot.
An impure love is not love to me. To admire another man’s wife is a pleasant thing, but sensual desire indulged for its own sake is greed, a kind of gluttony, and a misuse of something sacred which is given to us so that we may choose the one person with whom to fulfill our humanness. — Domhnall Gleeson as Konstantin “Kostya” Dmitrievich Levin in Anna Karenina (2012)
Storms over Shadows Rest
It was raining, but only in the middle courtyard. It had been raining for four straight hours.
Leiran sighed and picked up his coat, sliding it on and found a wide brimmed hat to keep the water out of his face and opened the door. Stepping out, he was glad that at the least it was raining straight DOWN, however heavy it was as he walked through the absolutely water-slogged grass and over to the pond.
Sitting next to the pond was a very wet, very small looking young woman who looked very miserable.
Crouching down next to her, he considered the pond that was lapping over its retaining edges. “You know…if you’re trying to drown the fish, I got bad news,” he said gently.
There was a faint twitch of shoulders and he wondered if dad humor had gotten through.
“I don’t want to talk.” came the small voice of the wet thing.
“Alright.” he answered quietly, sitting down on the wet stones and feeling the water running down into his boots. “I’ll just sit here. You don’t have to talk.”
It wasn’t hard to put together. He did, after all, keep some tabs on his own daughter. She wasn’t wounded, she’d come home…fine? And left…fine? And come back…in tears. Not wearing her shoes. With a split lip.
It had to be something about boys.
After all, if it was a real fight or scrape with a gang or that charr–she would have been all talk about it. Nope…crying and not talking definitely meant boys.
Eventually she shifted and leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her very wet head and let the rain fall down on the both.
Guatemala
“I can’t believe this is real, and it’s really true. “