Garlic bread

Erin | Nonbinary | Asexual Lesbian | They/Them | Eastern European | Autistic | This is just a blog for all of my non-wc stuff | wc blog: @squirrelcrow-is-my-passion

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Catalina: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Anne: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, baby.

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: Relationships should be 50/50. Catalina cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Catalina: Are you trying to seduce me?

Anne: Why, are you seducible?

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Tonks: This is my boyfriend, Remus.

Tonks: And this is my boyfriend's boyfriend and my cousin, Sirius.

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: I’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Catalina: Aren't you forgetting something?

Anne: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Catalina's forehead before running out.*

Catalina: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Jane: Good morning.

Catalina: Good morning.

Catherine: Good morning.

Katherine: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Anna and Anne, at the same time: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Jane: Did Catalina say "I love you" and you said "thanks"?

Anne: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL-

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Katherine: wHat?

Anne: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Katherine: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: Help! I’m drowning!

Catalina: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!

Anne: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: Catalina is too tall for me to kiss her on the lips. What should I do?

Catherine: Punch her in the stomach. Then, when she doubles over in pain, kiss her.

Katherine: Tackle her!

Anna: Dump her.

Jane: Kick her in the shin!

Catalina: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Catalina: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Anne, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: I was arrested for being too cool.

Catalina: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Catalina, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Anne:

Anne: fsh

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Catalina: Is something burning?

Anne, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Catalina: Anne, the toaster is literally on fire.

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne: So you like cats?

Catalina: Yeah.

Anne: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

[garlicbread-enthusiast]

Anne, sweating: Catalina, there’s something I need to ask you-

Catalina: Finally! You’re proposing!

Anne: How’d you know?

Catalina: Anne, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Catalina: I even picked it up once.