SENTENCE MEME ⟶ SINGLE PARENTS / 1.09 – 1.10 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“I don’t think I have to tel you who the losers are.”
“I’ve never been part of the cool clique, or any clique, really.”
“They think we’re weird because we’re single.”
“They’re just jealous because they want to sleep int he middle of their beds spread out like a starfish.”
“Suck it marrieds! ..it would be nice to be in love, though.”
“You’re gonna think you died and went to heaven.”
“You can’t just accuse an innocent man.”
“I’m not as good a person as you.”
“You haven’t done a single thing wrong the whole time I’ve known you.”
“You’re like the Dalai Lama with longer hair.”
“God, I love exploiting a person in need.”
“I can’t believe you agreed to host this wack-ass party.”
“Big plans are afoot this evening.”
“Well, that’s not shady.”
“Please don’t make me talk to them.”
“I can’t go in there. They’ll eat me alive.”
“These are just normal people trying to enjoy an evening without kids.”
“I think this is a terrible plan.”
“He’s not a person. He’s a backstabbing turd.”
“I hate to break it to you.”
“At least you have better taste in clothes than you do in friends.”
“Wait. Are you hilarious?”
“He’s not here, probably too ashamed to show his face.”
“Wait, he’s here. How dare he show his face!”
“Eyeballs don’t have secrets. Eyeballs are supposed to be loyal to the brain.”
“Unless you were lying last week, I’m your favorite person to nap next to.”
“There’s still one question that haunts me.”
“Now that I’m divorced, my life’s my own again.”
“Somehow I woke up at a bus stop. I don’t know how I got there, but I’m assuming by bus.”
“He thinks I’m a saint and I love it. It means I get to yell at him about all the things he does wrong.”
“Yelling at him is one of my favorite things to do.”
“I do not want to go back to life coaching.”
“I hate him so much.”
“That’s just one of the many treasures I have amassed.”
“Alexa, set the temperature to 90 degrees.”
“Are you dressed like a phone?”
“By the amount of apologizing happening, that’s definitely [name].”
“Before you go out there, I have to tell you something.”
“Now it’s time to get a little serious.”
“It’s not really my field of expertise.”
“He might be a dork, but dorks are just people who care a lot.”
“Maybe we’re losers, but I’d rather be one of us than one of you.”
“I am so sick of everyone siding with [name]!”
“It made me feel important because it made me feel like you.”
“I know I’ve given up the moral high ground.”
“I’m never gonna live that down, am I?”
“If I’m gonna be honest, I kind of respect you more.”
“How did I ruin it? I was just expressing my affection.”
“It’s weird to see Santa outside.”
“I cannot support your Santa fetish.”
“Tonight is about sadness.”
“Something happened that sent me into a real spiral.”
“I don’t mean to ruin anything for you, but Santa isn’t real.”
“That fights everything true I know about you.”
“Does he actually still believe in Santa? He’s an adult!”
“You’ve made the naughty list.”
“This is horrible for literally everyone else but not for me.”
“I hope you’re home, there’s a lot of candles burning.’
“I never did cry, but the potential was there.”
“I’m not in the right emotional headspace for a holiday tradition.”
“Festive gathering of loving families kicking the dirt out of each other.”
“So you turned Jesus’ birthday into the Olympics?”
“You are my only chance at a Christmas miracle.”
“Let’s ransack my house!”
“Getting someone the perfect gift is the best and only way to say, ‘I get you, man. You’re loved and cherished’.”
“The trick to surviving the holidays is just distract yourself from your own emotions.”
“Some people like to mope in front of a fire. I like to step on throats.”
“Where you were headed earlier? That was not a good place.”
“You tricked me! I’m not going to forget this.”
“Do you wanna spend Christmas in the hospital?”
“Why do you fight with the dentist?”
“You know what’s weird? Not giving your boyfriend a Christmas gift.”
“I think you’re right. I have to go break up with him.”
“And that’s how you win Christmas, you dirtbags!”
“You’re the only one with enough speed to catch the goose!”
“Doesn’t there have to be some grey area between naughty and nice?”
“Does being alive for as long as you have ever feel like a curse?”
“He’s not a fan of yes or no answers. He wants details.”
“I never doubted you for a second.”
“I guess we can add ‘meeting sexy Santa’ to the list of things he’ll eventually tell his therapist.”
“I had to get you something that showed how much I liked you without it spooking you and that gift does not exist.”
“I’m rusty at this. But, will you be my boyfriend?”
“I appreciate the gesture, but you don’t want to be here.”
“I’m not gonna try to talk you out of being sad.”
“So this is what it’s like when you’re not distracting yourself from your feelings.”
“Welcome to the dark side.”
“You should apologize for the five voicemails you left me.”
“I knew you weren’t going to take credit for any of the good stuff.”
“You get me, man. I feel cherished.”
