things that stop you dreaming

Garret shook his head and frowned, wrapping his arms around Rocco as a parent would to a child - delicately, a form of calming them while still fully being aware that they were almost entirely unpredictable.

"It's alright, Rocco. It's alright. Just stay calm, alright? We won't... We won't be together, okay? If you're not okay with it that's fine. That's fine, Rocco, that's fine. Everything is fine please just stop saying all of this." He said quietly.

Garret wanted to say what his heart had been begging him to for so long. But among all of this, he didn’t think he had the strength, so he kept his mouth shut as Rocco spoke, and even for a few beats of silence more.

Every single word that Rocco spoke was heartbreaking. Not...

Why was he saying this? What had started off as heartbreaking had now gone past shattering Garret's heart and moved to something deeper. He wasn't sure why he felt angry, annoyed that Rocco refused to allow Garret to love him, but it bubbled up inside of him.

"Don't talk like that! I can't... I can't listen to you talk like that about yourself." He said, slightly louder than he had previously been speaking. "Not everything is about what people deserve or who they're supposed to be with or who they should be with. Sometimes it's just about what people want."

He paused: there was no easy way to tackle Rocco's ending confession. He allowed his anger to calm only long enough to take Rocco's hand. "I know this is hard for you, just... Don't..." Was all he could manage.

Get to Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

2. How old are you?

3. What is your birthday?

4. What is your zodiac sign?

5. What is your favorite color?

6. What's your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

9. How tall are you?

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

12. What was your last dream about?

13. What talents do you have?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

15. Favorite song?

16. Favorite movie?

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

18. Do you want children?

19. Do you want a church wedding?

20. Are you religious?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

24. Baths or showers?

25. What color socks are you wearing?

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

28. What type of music do you like?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

32. How big is your house?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

35. Have you ever tried archery?

36. Favorite clean word?

37. Favorite swear word?

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

39. Do you have any scars?

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

41. Are you a good liar?

42. Are you a good judge of character?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

44. Do you have a strong accent?

45. What is your favorite accent?

46. What is your personality type?

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

48. Can you curl your tongue?

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

50. Left or right handed?

51. Are you scared of spiders?

52. Favorite food?

53. Favorite foreign food?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

55. Most used phrased?

56. Most used word?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

58. Do you have much of an ego?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

60. Do you talk to yourself?

61. Do you sing to yourself?

62. Are you a good singer?

63. Biggest Fear?

64. Are you a gossip?

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen?

66. Do you like long or short hair?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

68. Favorite school subject?

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

71. What makes you nervous?

72. Are you scared of the dark?

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

74. Are you ticklish?

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

78. Have you ever done drugs?

79. Who was your first real crush?

80. How many piercings do you have?

81. Can you roll your Rs?"

82. How fast can you type?

83. How fast can you run?

84. What color is your hair?

85. What color are your eyes?

86. What are you allergic to?

87. Do you keep a journal?

88. What do your parents do?

89. Do you like your age?

90. What makes you angry?

91. Do you like your own name?

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

94. What are you strengths?

95. What are your weaknesses?

96. How did you get your name?

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

98. Do you have any scars?

99. Color of your bedspread?

100. Color of your room?

#ask game

Hearing Rocco phrase his answer - though he didn’t answer the question at all - as he did made the pit of Garret’s stomach sink. He hated how much Rocco loathed himself, he hated all of it. He always wished Rocco could see him how Garret saw him, but he knew that would never be...

Garret wanted to say what his heart had been begging him to for so long. But among all of this, he didn't think he had the strength, so he kept his mouth shut as Rocco spoke, and even for a few beats of silence more.

Every single word that Rocco spoke was heartbreaking. Not because it began to sound more and more like some form of rejection, but because he couldn't bear to see Rocco like this.

"I told you, stop." He said softly, though firmly. "You aren't... You're not dirt, Rocco, stop treating yourself like it. Someone like me probably doesn't even deserve someone like you. Look at us, I'm a washed up failed musician, an alcoholic," he paused, realising he'd never used that word before, "a sarcastic, bitter, entirely lonely guy who's never been in a relationship that lasted anything longer than the time I could get in and get out. I am the worst guy I've ever met." Laying it all out like that, Garret had to wonder how Rocco had ever agreed to this in the first place.

"And you... You're the best guy I've ever met. You're optimistic, you're sweet, you're goddamn nice, you're loyal and you're always just... You do the right thing. I don't. And I don't... If anything, I'm the one who deserves less."

Garret sometimes sat up listening to Rocco breathe when he couldn't sleep in college. He does not want Rocco to know about this.

Accepted.He often used to match his own breathing pattern to Rocco's as if the notion brought then somehow closer together in his mind.

Send me a headcanon, I will accept or reject it.

#do it pls #ask game

Garret kissed Rocco again, slowly, and for longer than he previously had. He had never known how to feel, much less how to show his emotions. And while he very much knew what he felt right now, he had far too much trouble trying to express it. Of course, to anyone but Rocco, it...

Hearing Rocco phrase his answer - though he didn't answer the question at all - as he did made the pit of Garret's stomach sink. He hated how much Rocco loathed himself, he hated all of it. He always wished Rocco could see him how Garret saw him, but he knew that would never be possible.

"Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop." Garret repeated, lifting Rocco's chin so he could look into his eyes. "Stop talking about yourself like that. The way I see it is that I probably don't deserve you, no, of course I don't." He paused, wondering what that must have sounded like to Rocco, before clarifying: "I deserve so much worse."

Garret sighed. Of course that was Rocco’s answer. Of course he left it to Garret. Garret had always been the demanding of the two - he would lead and Rocco would follow. Though he liked to imagine their friendship had been fairly side by side, he couldn’t exactly say that was...

"I want you happy, too." Garret insisted, "so tell me what would make you happy."

Garret smiled lightly, though Rocco could probably not see his face, as he kissed his collarbone.

"God only knows how." Garret said with a laugh, before wrapping his arms around Rocco even tighter, pulling him closer. "Thank you. At least that makes one person, right?"

As Rocco…

"I know, I know." Garret said, still stroking the bottom of Rocco’s hair with his thumb. Though he knew Rocco probably wouldn’t judge him at all, he still didn’t feel like he could really say anything about how he felt. Not just yet.

Garret kissed Rocco back gently, as if they were both fragile, now, too scared they might break.

"You can try, hon’, I don’t think I can." He said quietly.

“I…” Rocco faltered, unable to complete his thoughts. The fear of rejection was far too great. He licked his lips. “Kiss me?”

Garret smiled and nodded, leaning down to kiss Rocco slowly. He wasn’t worried anymore about where this was going. He kind of liked the idea of not knowing. There was something about the unknown that always appealed to him. For some reason he knew it wasn’t something that appealed to Rocco.

"Rocco…" He said quietly, "what are we doing?"

The question was terrifying to Rocco, though he did his best not to show it. “I… I thought I’d leave that up to you.”

"Please… Please don’t leave that to me." He said quietly. "I don't know anything. About anything. Hell, I think this is the first time I've even been sober in at least a few months. I can't... I can't make decisions."

Garret smiled lightly, though Rocco could probably not see his face, as he kissed his collarbone.

"God only knows how." Garret said with a laugh, before wrapping his arms around Rocco even tighter, pulling him closer. "Thank you. At least that makes one person, right?"

As Rocco…

Garret kissed Rocco back gently, as if they were both fragile, now, too scared they might break.

"You can try, hon’, I don’t think I can." He said quietly.

“I…” Rocco faltered, unable to complete his thoughts. The fear of rejection was far too great. He licked his lips. “Kiss me?”

Garret smiled and nodded, leaning down to kiss Rocco slowly. He wasn't worried anymore about where this was going. He kind of liked the idea of not knowing. There was something about the unknown that always appealed to him. For some reason he knew it wasn't something that appealed to Rocco.

"Rocco..." He said quietly, "what are we doing?"

Garret smiled lightly, though Rocco could probably not see his face, as he kissed his collarbone.

"God only knows how." Garret said with a laugh, before wrapping his arms around Rocco even tighter, pulling him closer. "Thank you. At least that makes one person, right?"

As Rocco...

"I know, I know." Garret said, still stroking the bottom of Rocco's hair with his thumb. Though he knew Rocco probably wouldn't judge him at all, he still didn't feel like he could really say anything about how he felt. Not just yet.

Garret kissed Rocco back gently, as if they were both fragile, now, too scared they might break.

"You can try, hon', I don't think I can." He said quietly.

❤

❤ describe how they show affection.Affection is the last thing that comes easily to Garret. He has spent his entire life building walls around his heart, not so much to see who is persistent enough to break them down, but rather to see who is smart enough to climb over them. Garret shows affection in the smallest of ways - in the eye contact that lasts just a few seconds longer than it needed to, in the words he chooses to avoid as supposed to the words he chooses to use. Mostly commonly, you'll find his affection lurking somewhere within his actions, masked by a veil of self-loathing, and coated with words that hide it's true nature. That's where his affection lies.

✑

✑ describe something they like without naming it:There are no two opinions that are identical in defining it, to each ear it beats it's own rhythm, to each heart it flutters with a different time signature. To Garret it is fluid, a motion that takes into account the movement of a person themselves. It is not a definitive art and nor will it ever be able to please everyone that it can. All Garret knows is that it pleases him.

Garret sighed, the kind of sigh that insinuated a verbal shrug. How long had he spent unable to sleep? Probably too long, far too long to figure any of it out. His brain was working in slow motion.

"I… I don’t know. I’ve spent so long registering it as a fact that I’d forgotten...

Garret smiled lightly, though Rocco could probably not see his face, as he kissed his collarbone.

"God only knows how." Garret said with a laugh, before wrapping his arms around Rocco even tighter, pulling him closer. "Thank you. At least that makes one person, right?"

As Rocco kissed him, Garret held one arm loosely on the back of Rocco's neck, stroking the bottom of his hair lightly with his thumb. As Rocco spoke again, Garret frowned, and a few seconds of silence passed before he nodded slowly.

"There's a reason I... Am the way I am. It's not an excuse, but... Yes."

#flawlessly reblogging myself #do it tho

spiritscalling

Headcanon Meme Time!

⌆ a nervous tic or habit they have

⏀ describe their usual smile

⇅ do they look up or down while thinking?

❧ describe their usual sleeping position

✑ describe something they like without naming it

✜ what’s their posture like in a normal situation?

❖ describe their hands

❞ write a quote they would find themselves saying

§ how would their hair gray? or would they lose their hair first?

❤ describe how they show affection.

✭ what is one of their favorite items?

"You worry too much," And Garret worried too little. They completed each other, in a sick sense of the phrase. Where one zigged, the other zagged. They were practical opposites, with the only thing in common being their devotion to the other.

"Yes, your students are learning. I...

Garret sighed, the kind of sigh that insinuated a verbal shrug. How long had he spent unable to sleep? Probably too long, far too long to figure any of it out. His brain was working in slow motion.

"I... I don't know. I've spent so long registering it as a fact that I'd forgotten to actually figure out why it was a fact." He said calmly. "Same old, same old, I guess. There's nothing new in my life. I'm the same old worthless Garret Finn you knew and probably loathed in College." He added with a laugh, though it kind of hurt.