I am unable to can

Batman's bitch before even being just a bitch

[mariamariquinha]

it's that moment of the night when you think about Horacio Carrillo

[ithinkwehitametaphor]

Incorrect Narcos Quotes

[lxclerc]

if you’re like me and you only watch f1 for free, here are some free sites you can watch it live at:

sportshub.stream - this is my personal favorite

totalsportek.pro

sportsurge.club

thehomesport.net

weakstream.org

there are also free apps you can watch it in:

Live player

strym tv - you need a code to watch in this app so you just press the + sign on the upper left corner, choose “Import playlist from URL” and paste this url http: //movitv. pro just remove the spaces

all of these have ads and if you have access to VPN, you might want to use it but i’ve tried all these links and app last season and hadn’t gotten a virus.

[hamiltvn]

[majactrl]

toto: i love all of my racers equally

toto: lewis hamilton, mick schumacher and...

toto: *squints at the smudged writing on his palm*

toto: jorge rumes

[outoftheframework]

bruce wayne using slang but only learning the definitions from websites for older people

For undisclosed reasons I thought it would be funny to pretend to be an older person wanting to know the definitions of gen z/millennial slang and oh boy is it a gold mine on some of these sites. 

I immediately thought of Bruce Wayne.

Nightwing, over coms: Tracked down Penguin to a location by the docks. Let’s meet on 54th and think of a game plan.

Oracle: Copy that.

Red Hood: Agreed.

Batman: Yeet.

Everyone:

Red Robin: excuse me what

Batman: Robin, you’re dismissed. Take a shower then get to bed.

Robin: But father-

Batman: Bye Felicia.

Robin: … What-

Batman: You heard me, Robin.

*red robin, out of breath after a fight, wheezing because Batman asked a criminal if he was “shook” in his deep voice*

Oracle, over coms: Is Red crying or laughing? I honestly can’t tell.

Batman: Red Robin is dead.

Everyone: WHAT-

Batman, during an impassioned speech: We are Gotham’s protectors. We are the thin line between order and chaos. The city needs protecting, even from those supposed to be protecting it. We will snatch every wig from every corrupt officer and politician’s head until this city shines.

Everyone:

Signal: I knew Gordon was wearing a toupee.

________

I think this is the funniest concept. Lemme know if y’all want a part 2 or more content like this.

All slang definitions taken from thoughtcatalog.com

[fanaticalthings]

The batfam going over a murder case:

Tim: Judging by the blood splatters, it seems the killer used a hammer as the murder weapon.

Bruce, completely deadpan: So true bestie.

Tim:

———

Batman, in a puddle of his own blood after getting attacked: That last stab hit different *passes out*

Cue the batkids freaking the fuck out

———

Bruce scolding Jason for being reckless during a mission: You’re grounded.

Jason: Excuse m-

Bruce: PERIODT.

Jason:

Bruce: Do not argue with me on this one, son.

———

*Batman about to beat the shit out of some goons*

Batman: Seems you didn’t pass the vibe check.

Oracle over the comms, pleading: Please stop talking.

———

*Dick complimenting Barbara on her work*

Bruce: Simp.

Dick: I-

———

Damian: Father, I was wondering if you would like to visit the art gallery with me tomorrow?

Bruce: Bet.

Damian:

Bruce:

Damian: I take it back. I shall be going with Jon instead.

———

Imagine Bruce switching his vocabulary and referring to his family as just fam.

All the kids hate it. No one will respond to him if he uses that word.

———

Bonus:

Jim Gordon: Seems our current victim was brutally beaten by Joker’s men for 8 consecutive hours.

Batman, completely straight-faced: Big yikes.

Gordon: I’m sorry?

———

*During a Justice League meeting*

Batman standing up to leave: Ya’ll basic.

JL members:

[marsrize]

Duke: And I didn’t think I’d miss my parents so much… Batman: Mood. Duke: …….. What?…. Everyone: ………………………..

[running-with-batfam]

Batman, detonating a small explosive on the wheels of a getaway vehicle: Get wrekt, newbs.

Babs, blood draining from her face: W….why…..

[f1incorrectquotess]

Toto: What happened?!

Lewis: Do you want the long version or the short version?

Toto Sh-short??

Lewis: Shit's fucked.

Toto: Okay, long.

George: Shit's very fucked.

[incorrect-merc]

Toto: Do you take constructive criticism?

George: Not without crying

[incorrect-merc]

Valtteri, answering a call: Oh hi, Lewis, yeah I'll get him

Valtteri: Bono, it's your boyfriend

Bono, hissing: He's not my boyfriend!

Bono: Yes, darling?

[f1incorrectquotess]

Toto: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Mick: ... Your what?

Toto: My friends.

Lewis: Is he saying “friends”?

Bono: I think he's being sarcastic.

George: No, no, no, this is delirium, he has cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Toto! All of your friends are in this room.

[not-another-side-blog]

At this point I’m convinced that when Vettel wrote “You are the most talented driver I came across in 15 years of F1. Don't waste it.” on Charles’ helmet, he 100% was telling him to leave Ferrari.

[f1incorrectquotess]

*phone rings*

George, picking it up: Mercedes, cute one speaking

Lewis: *ends call*

[f1incorrectquotess]

Lewis: Toto has no idea I’m high.

Toto: You’re high?

Lewis: Oh, I’m sorry.

Lewis, leaning over to Valtteri: Toto has no idea I’m high.

[skiplo-wave]

Season 4 just gonna be a intense battle of Butcher trying get his three days out each month with Ryan but Homelander being hella stingy

[coulsons-band]

pedro pascal doesn’t owe you shit.

it is absolutely fine to be disappointed by his absence at cannes. i am too. but he does not have to be there.

for whatever reason he’s pulling away from the attention. the esquire article talked about how guarded he is and his socials have really slowed down. maybe he’s unprepared or overwhelmed by all the tlou hype. i mean his follower count went up by the tens of thousands the day after the premiere. that’s insane.

but some of you have lost the plot. the ones wearing d*ddy’s little girl shirts in fucking public and yelling d*ddy at him at events and trying to convince everyone whether he’s queer or not and complaining there isn’t an explicit scene of him fucking in the strange way of life. it’s not a gay porn made for your fetish. ‘oh but narcos!!’ that’s called characterization. read literally any article from almodovar and understand why sex isn’t the point.

interacting with paparazzi content and making cute little edits - jfc. that’s creating demand and supply and paparazzi know no fucking boundaries. man’s got anxiety and no doubt the paps and fans watching his every move are probably making that worse.

let him make movies and rotate through his four shirts in peace. pedro pascal doesn’t owe anyone shit.

[tropes-and-tales]

ALL. OF. THIS.

[frownyalfred]

Bruce in Batman v. Superman: Superman is a threat to our national security and he needs to be eliminated–immediately. 

Bruce in Justice League: I would die for Clark Kent, from Smallville, star reporter, upstanding citizen, personification of what it means to be human, even if he specifically told me not to 

[broosepayne]

Tim: Hey Bruce. We had an incident on patrol—

Bruce: Hn?

Tim: Dick was—

Bruce, internally: Dick was shot he was mauled he was maimed by the joker he was tortured by scarecrow he was broken in half by bane!!! dick’s DEAD??? what else could be wrong he can’t tell me himself that means he is vulnerable that means he may have been shot in the head is Dick dead what do I do if he’s dead Contingency Number D1492 I need to contact Clark and let him know and tell him to isolate me and I need to contact Jason (Contingency J384) but what do I do if Dick is gone can I go on of course I can I need to but I can’t see his body I can’t do it—

Tim: —limping after he tried to get an ice cream from the soft serve machine and ate shit lmao. His ankle is twisted; might take a couple days to recover.

Bruce, a very normal person who doesn’t suffer from anxiety and ptsd: okay