Forever Summer

Metro Manila, PH. Day-dreamer. This is where I dump fragments of my thoughts, random photos, sketches, occasional brain-farts, and one shot poetry.

[annaleyko]

[gelleebeans]

Do I really just have high standards? Am I too much of a perfectionist? A lot of people have been telling me these. 

Is it time to lower my expectations? Or should they be the ones rising to meet my standards? 

I need time to think and reassess everything. 

[gelleebeans]

2.6.17

I haven’t been writing until today. Somehow, I feel that I couldn’t come up with anything. Thoughts and emotions fill me, but I couldn’t bring myself to express any of them. I need to shape up before I join the team next week. I need to get myself together. But what do I do? How do I bring myself to stop these nagging thoughts in my head? There are days when I do much better and days when I feel so low. Instead of letting these emotions and thoughts control me, I should be the one in control of them. 

Snap out of it, R. You’re being given a new start - a new job, a new place, a new environment, and even a new note (God’s humor!). Be grateful and take everything in stride. 

[gelleebeans]

Love is possible only when it is freely chosen. True love is never constrained; hearts cannot be taken by force.

[gelleebeans]

12.10.16 FAITH

I said: I don't know how long it will take. I don't know how much time I would need. I don't know where we are headed. [...], I'm scared.

He said: Do you want me to hold your hand?

I said: ... *nods and fights tears*

He said: This would sound weird coming from me, and I don't really want to say it because I'm not really a believer. But Trust God.

I said: *smiles as a spark of hope lit me up, even though I was also crying* You're right. You're definitely right. Thank you for reminding me. I needed that. Thank you.

He said: And have a little bit of faith in me, too.

I said: *nods

It's funny that you were the one to say that. That in my weakest and most dreaded moment, despite our differences in beliefs, you still pointed me to Him. Thank you for supporting me though you didn't really agree with it initially. Thank you for loving me in your own way. I hope for and look forward to someday seeing you be the man I always believed you could be. :)

[gelleebeans]

Picked up my uke and brushed off my worries away.

“Look in my eyes. Can you see my heartbeat? Swirling everywhere I go. Look in my eyes. I will be right here by your side, so don’t you ever let go.”

[gelleebeans]

Change of perspective: when you realize that your life's worst moments can be turned into the best ones.

[gelleebeans]

And he said, "It's because you don't have good taste in men. If you had, then you wouldn't have liked me."

[gelleebeans]

And in that place, I found my escape. 

Romblon, 6.30.16

[gelleebeans]

[gelleebeans]

“I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation Only you can make me”

Couldn’t sleep. So I decided to pick up my uke and this song came to mind. :)

[gelleebeans]

“Run, run, lost boy, they say to me, away from all of reality Neverland is home to lost boys like me, and lost boys like me are free.”

[gelleebeans]

Ripples

They are like two sides of a coin - complete opposites. 

He goes off to different places, slaying dragons and chasing new adventures. While she’s the type to stay in the comforts of her nook, happy in her own little world. If he’s the Sun, she’s the Moon. He shines brightly - blinding your eyes, burning your skin. While she shares the sky with a billion stars, silently glimmering, and on some nights, totally unseen.

He’s a captivating musical parade, catching your attention with the music and the colorful displays. He always makes his presence felt, leaving a mark on strangers he crosses paths with. On the other hand, she’s the quiet space in the corner of a library where one seeks to be left undisturbed; she’s like a book whose pages you have to read till the very end to appreciate its story. 

They’re completely different, but that’s the thing that drew her to him. He manages to awake emotions she never knew she could feel, things she never thought she could do. He drags her to places she never thought of going.

She finds his presence a little disconcerting,  and at the same time, exciting. It takes her out of her comfort zone but leaves her feeling more “alive.” It’s the kind that when gone, she would never find it in her to be angry at him for leaving. Nor will she be relieved to live life the way she has always had - safe and familiar. More than anything, I guess she’d feel empty. 

Emptiness. Yes, that’s it. And that’s what scares her. ‘Cause after all, the Sun and the Moon, they couldn’t be together on the same sky, do they?

[gelleebeans]

choro and kara sleeping soundly. sibling love.

[gelleebeans]

I couldn’t help but notice this guy in front of me. His nails are prettier than mine. Nahiya naman ang kamay ko kay kuya. 😂

[gelleebeans]

One of the highlights of my trip to Paris

Jardin des Tuileries, Paris, France

29.02.16

[gelleebeans]

Most of the time, people say "they believe" when they're actually in doubt. The uttered words, "I believe," are words of hope that are born from the feeling of wanting to believe in something.