Oh, well.

Inconsistent but still here 10 years later. | she/her | millennial gen z cusper

[quotefeeling]

“In any given moment we have two options: To step forward into growth or to step back into safety.”

— Abraham Maslow

[lunamonchtuna]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[ariaiscursed]

[ariaiscursed]

[vexheart]

[weltenwellen]

Taking Care  Callista Buchen

[nixscriptum]

less of a poem, more of a reminder. ( ఌ )

[lunamonchtuna]

to be seen without performing. to be heard without screaming. to be missed without disappearing. to be enough without proving it. to be held without falling apart. to be understood without explaining. to be wanted without conditions. to be. to be.

[vexheart]

[lena-oleanderson]

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

[vvyel09]

Byakugan Princess

[hana-art-sasuhina]

HINATA ART

[jung-koook]

LMAO TAE

[eight-of-pentacles]

Loid Forger loves his wife.

Of course he does; it’s not even a doubt in anyone’s mind. Loid Forger is a doting father and an adoring husband. Loid Forger works tirelessly to access the best education that most parents couldn’t even dream of offering their children. Loid Forger is wrapped firmly around his daughter’s finger, willing to rent out a castle just to make her smile. Loid Forger lavishes his wife with expensive dates. Because of course, he would. Loid Forger is nothing if not the perfect husband: sensitive, caring, hardworking—and above all, fake.

But what about Twilight?

Twilight isn’t supposed to exist. Twilight, the orphaned son of Westalis, who threw away his humanity and his future because he was told it was the only way he could save the world. Twilight, who crafted a cover family out of strangers that society had deemed as outcasts: a faceless spy, a child orphaned several times over, an isolated woman with a single family tie to bind her to the rest of the world.

Twilight shouldn’t love his cover. Twilight, the fake father who pushes his fake daughter to make connections, to excel in school, not for the sake of her future and happiness, but for his mission. Twilight, the fake husband who planted a bug on his fake wife out of misplaced suspicion. Twilight, the spy who manipulated the hearts of the only people in the world who completely trust him to be a part of their family. Twilight should see them as a means to an end. Twilight shouldn’t feel guilty for what he’s done to them.

But what about [REDACTED]?

[REDACTED] is a corpse buried under years of war and calamity. He hasn’t been allowed to exist for so long that he’s forgotten his own mother’s face. But he appears, sometimes—after all, Loid Forger can’t be real. Loid Forger entered this world six months ago. Twilight isn’t supposed to know the minute details of his fake family beyond what is necessary to further his goals. They can’t be the person who encourages his wife to make friends because he knows she deserves to have people who love and support her outside of her own family. They can’t be the person who plays pretend with his daughter at the expense of his pride because it makes her happy. They can’t be the person who steps in front of a loaded gun without a thought spared for his own wellbeing, because his wife was in danger. They can’t be the person who listens to his wife’s fears and doubts and tells her the most honest thought he’s shared in years: “you remind me of my mother. You’re strong.”

Loid Forger is the mask. And when Loid Forger says he loves his wife, it’s with Twilight’s voice. It’s a calculated performance to protect his fake life, his fake marriage, all for the sake of his mission. He’s in a pit of vipers doing anything he can to not get noticed as prey. But it’s [REDACTED]’s lingering ghost that makes his confession not just a lie born out of a desperate need for survival. It’s [REDACTED]’s thoughts that makes it something less of a lie and something closer to an uncomfortable reality.

And for a man that isn’t supposed to exist, the lines between his lies and his reality have become concerningly blurred.

[meg-eldaryaml]

I don't want to be the party pooper, but I really hope people are aware that we're celebrating the fact that Loid lied, not knowing he was telling the truth. He hasn't confessed anything. He's not aware of his feelings.

Remember this was the face he made when he couldn't bring himself to kill Yuri.

Do you really think Twilight, the best spy of Westalis, would ever be this chill admitting he fell in love with the woman he's hired to deceive? The day he becomes self-aware will be the worst day of his life. Just think about his existential crisis when he realized he protected Yor impulsively and risked the mission:

Let's be for real, you guys, we're officially on the way there, his body language spoke, and Nicholson was there to professionally translate it for us, but we haven't arrived at our goal just yet.

[weltenwellen]

Wildness Before Something Sublime Leila Chatti

[nowewemori]

fell back into my spy x family obsession… and then I saw a tiny kitten…

i’m too lazy to finish this, okayyyy