Hi I'm Emerald

twentysomething y/o trans girlie My existence is dubious at best, and disproven at worst. Bonafide derby girl, jammer in training. I used to ride scooter, hence the pfp. No I will not change it.

[gemfatale7513]

My silly book of secrets

[nonbinary-wrath-month]

Transandrophobia is so obviously a real thing that I doubt your ability to think critically or view situations from other peoples' perspectives if you "don't believe" in it. Do you honestly and seriously believe that a society as patriarchal and misogynistic as ours would not care about a so-called "woman" deciding they don't want to be a woman and fulfill the role of a woman anymore? Do you think the patriarchy just decides to stop being misogynistic to someone as soon as they say "Actually, my pronouns are he/they"? Some of you need to turn your brains on.

[gemfatale7513]

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a pair of Bont Parkstar skates with grind trucks and slide blocks, and if I had that in my life I'd be a lot happier.

Maybe for my birthday...

[gemfatale7513]

Holy shit dude, Roller Derby is the fucking tits.

Of all the things that I started doing on a whim, Roller Derby has been the best. It's so fulfilling, it's an amazing challenge that has been so much fun to overcome, and there's always something new to improve on. Plus, roller skating is just so much fun.

I started out as pretty much the only fresh meat in the league in like early August. There was one other girl with me, but she didn't stick around after the end of the season. She was nice, and we started out a similar skill level. We really impressed Happy, one of the coaches, by being able to do crossovers on day one.

It's kinda funny to me, cuz I kinda just like. Showed up one day. Like, we do fresh meat intakes every so often, but I didn't go to any of those. I literally just showed up to fresh meat practice one day, and they were nice enough to let me skate. Had to fill out paperwork and stuff of course. But they let me skate! It was a great time from day one, everyone in the league was very welcoming and willing to teach me and facilitate and such.

I pretty much ended up training with the A and B teams, because I was literally the only fresh meat for the rest of the season. I got to do a few contact drills, there's a video of my first one somewhere on my phone. I seriously look like a fish out of water in it lmfao.

And lately, I've been thinking about that video. Because, it's been like... what? 8 months? I've been playing roller derby for eight months now. I got out of fresh meat like a month and a half ago, and I played in my first real Sanctioned Bout just this past weekend.

I've known since pretty much day one that I wanna be a jammer. Like I know it in my soul that I want to jam. Jamming is tiring, but it is so much fun, and I'm actually pretty good at it tbh.

In the game on Saturday, we were honestly killing it. By the end of the 18th Jam in the 2nd period, we had 125 points, and the opposing team had about like 60 I think? We had a huge lead. So, Happy called me over, and asked me if I wanted jam next.

I genuinely got so excited I fell on my ass.

I'm talking fuckin jumping in place on slick concrete, I could NOT contain my excitement.

I got lead jammer, and just after my second pass, I got a track cut. Honestly? Couldn't tell you what I did, memory's a lil foggy, but I definitely remember thinking to myself as soon as I stepped back onto the track "Oh, they're gonna call that, whoopsies."

So, there I sat in the penalty box, waiting out the Jam timer.

It's the last Jam. My team has to hold it down for ten seconds, and they kill it. The opposing team isn't able to capitalize on their power start, and I come hot outta the penalty box and steal lead jammer again.

I did two passes, scored 8 points. Coming around for my third pass, I realize that I am fucking tired, so I called off the jam.

I got back to our lineup, and everyone's cheering for me, greeting me with hugs and high fives and grins. I was sooooo fucking tired, but I felt on top of the world, ngl.

It was genuinely a dream come true. I really impressed myself. Lead Jammer twice, one time out of the penalty box. That is as much a testament to my ability as a jammer as it is to my teammates' skills. I know I couldn't have done it if they weren't there to support me the whole way. I don't know if I'll ever really be able to express my gratitude to them, for that, for accepting me, for teaching me, for letting me train with them when I was the only fresh meat.

And then just tonight, during Scrimmage, I decided to put on the star again, and got lead jammer three times in a row.

I know I have the potential to be a great jammer, and I know that I wouldn't be where I am now without everyone supporting me. I have two derby moms, one of them hangs out at the skate park with me and is so fucking cool when she skates. The other is a badass heavyweight blocker who is an amazing coach.

I really don't have enough good things to say about Roller Derby. I feel like I've finally found my people, honestly.

[aric220]

[gemfatale7513]

Holy shit I don't have a concussion

Holy shit I don't have a concussion Holy shit I don't have a concussion

So here's the story. Yesterday, it was like?? Only 81?? With a heat index that didn't scorch my skin off??

So ofc I went to the skatepark, as did everyone else with some form of wheels in the area. I went to the one with the snake run first last night, but, ran into misgendering and no chance of doing anything cool or new and scary besides maybe dropping in on a new quarter pipe. I left feeling like shit, and like I needed to prove myself.

I ended up going to one more skatepark before going home, because I was determined to drop in on this bowl that I've only dropped in on once ever and didn't do anything in. I've been really wanting to learn how to ride bowls, so, this was kind of not a terrible goal for the night. It was something new and scary and I was DETERMINED to do this.

I got there, did some gaps to warm up, rode around, had my fun, then came time to drop in. I slid in a few times on my knee pads to get used to the transition, and then I dropped in.

First time went smoothly, rode around the bowl a lil bit, then got up to go do it again.

Second time, I dropped in, and then went to go around the bowl again and absolutely ate it. I was suddenly on the ground, the side of my head hurt. I could hear squishing when I moved my jaw on my right side, and my right ear was ringing and muffled. No broken teeth, no dizziness or anything, I was able to get out of the bowl just fine.

So, no concussion. Thank fuck I didn't get a concussion.

I knew I had busted my eardrum, I was bleeding from that. But I didn't know that I had busted open my chin lmao.

So yeah. My mom is understandably worried about me because I live in America, have a part time job, and am 26 years old, sooooo, I don't have healthcare.

I got lucky today. Walking away from a slam that hard without brain damage is fucking lucky.

Wear a fucking helmet yall. I'm certain I'd be way worse off without one.

[gemfatale7513]

idr if I ever came out and said, but, I did actually give myself a concussion LOL

[gemfatale7513]

found ur blog while trying to see if there was anyone else on here who scooters... pretty awesome blog, sad you dont blog much about it anymore but still happy it was there in the first place. fellow trans person here btw :)) i hope youre doing alright now with everything happening and managing to stay afloat-- you're gonna survive! (hoping this blog is still active haha)

thanks for posting when u did bonesinew OUT

I'M ALIVE I PROMISE I kinda uhhh... got busy with stuff. Sorry to say, I don't really ride scooter anymore.

After my concussion (I dropped into a bowl, and failed to carve it, and because I was going fast, I bounced my head off the concrete. I was wearing a helmet) I kinda decided that I should re-evaluate how much I was enjoying this scooter thing. Because, I enjoyed it, sure, but my heart wasn't really in it, you know? I just wasn't feeling any drive from within my own heart to learn any tricks, all the pressure I felt to do so was external. Maybe, one day, I'll come back to it.

For the time being, I've completely switched over to quad skates. Helluva jump, I know! Just like how I started scooter riding kind of on a whim, I did the same with Roller Derby. I decided to try it while still recovering from my concussion. I did wait until I was feeling good again to go to my first practice! I'm not a complete idiot, I promise.

I've been playing Roller Derby since early August.

I was fresh meat for abouttttt likeeee... I think 7 months? My fresh meat class was just me, and it wasn't really during an intake session. I literally just like. Showed up one day. And they let me skate.

Then just this past Saturday, I played in my first actual game. I was rostered as a blocker, but in the second-to-last Jam, I got to play the jammer. Got my first penalty, a track cut, after getting lead jammer. Then, when I came outta the penalty box, I got lead jammer a second time, and scored 8 points before calling the final jam off because holy shit I was so fucking tired.

You ever try to fight through a group of nine-to-ten sweaty women, four of whom are trying to keep you from getting through? That shit winds you when you do it a few times in a row. I really gotta work on my cardio...

So yeah, that's where I've been.

Oh! I've also been park skating too! I leaned how to drop in on roller skates pretty recently, and am trying to overcome my fear of dropping into the half pipe.

Honestly, roller skating just feels so natural to me, like idk how to explain it. The way you move your feet to push and stride just clicks for me. I love skating fast, I love playing roller derby, I love park skating...

I might pick up scooter riding again, though. I haven't gotten rid of my Aztek Architect Ruby, one, Aztek doesn't make Architects in that colorway anymore, and two, it's sentimental.

[gemfatale7513]

It's fucking 2026 already?

God.

[nunown]

me: i dont like gangnam style

you: yeah me nei-

me: PSY-ch!

[nunown]

reblog if you gangnam smiled

[learn-how-to-love]

^This is butchphobia and exorsexism btw. Genderqueer lesboys have been a part of the community for far longer than any of these folks have been alive and if you don’t like it YOU’RE the problem, full stop.

[gemfatale7513]

Color me confused, cuz I have no idea what the context for this is.

The screenshotted post makes sense, why should men be in lesbian spaces?

But of course, that is a surface level take, and I hate only knowing the surface of something. So, genuinely, could someone explain this to me?

[nyxisart]

Day 3 of reposting my old old comics because i wont be able to draw for a while

[upandoutcomic]

A recent hang with the tboy I was dating/made comics about earlier this year. We're friends now~ Also, having someone who's trans forget I'm trans was weirdly affirming lol

[gemfatale7513]

We got a cat :3

I've never had a cat in the house before. I'm a lil nervous, because I'm allergic. But, I'm also excited, because it means that there's a new member of our family to love.

It'll be interesting and a bit of a challenge, not just because I've never lived with a cat, or because I'm allergic, but because we lost our dog not too long ago.

Skye was our dog for 13 years. We adopted her from a rescue shelter as a puppy when I was 12. She's been with our family through some really hard times, and we got to see her grow up and become an old lady. A few months before we had to put her to sleep, she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. Her hip was giving her trouble, she couldn't jump onto the couch or into the car very easily, she couldn't run, and couldn't walk for very long. Then, one night, she came home from a visit to Grandma's house, and her back legs just weren't working.

I'd been bracing for the end ever since her hip started giving her trouble. It didn't make it any easier to say goodbye. I was there to see her when she was just a little ball of fluff, and I was there to say goodbye to her in her last moments.

And now, we have a cat. We named her Kiki.

We just got her today, and she's real shy and bashful, because she was abandoned, then rescued and fostered, and now she's been rehomed to us.

I know she won't exactly fill the hole in my heart that Skye left behind. She's not Skye, and never will be. And I know that to her, we're a bunch of strangers, and she's in a scary new place.

But, I'm fully ready to give her all the love and patience that she needs.

And, truth be told, I have always kind of wanted a cat.

I hope that Skye's okay with that.

[5237489transrats]

trans rights, and trans rats

[glitchyycatt]

doing transmasc fall but not in the way that i wear cute fits and big sweaters but in the way that i wear shorts and go "nah bro im not even cold on god its not even that cold out im fine" when its 37 degrees(f) outside

[gemfatale7513]

Me, shivering my little tits off, while my trans masc friend walks around in 37 degree temps in booty shorts

[importantcatpics]

[gemfatale7513]

"Denji started acting dumb in Part 2"

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP

I am so tired of this braindead take. Like I know that reading comprehension is a rarity among online communities these days, but seriously, it's crazy how much this take gets spouted in on r/chainsawfolk and r/chainsawman. Like I get it, it's not exactly easy to think about the story at large when chapters take a week or two to get out, and take like maybe a minute at most to read, details get lost in the between, and I get that.

But Denji started acting stupid in part 2??

This man has always been a lil stupid, let's be real. And not only that, but he is responding to his traumas with unhealthy coping mechanisms, something that isn't seen very much in shonen manga. Frankly, I love to see a broken character be broken and unable to get out of his unhealthy coping mechanisms while the world is going to shit. The hierarchy of needs is so fucking real, man. Denji has been in survival mode ever since his apartment burned down, and has been dealt trauma after fucking trauma.

Look me in my emerald eyes and tell me that you wouldn't be acting stupid in a situation like that. Like Denji LITERALLY doesn't know any better!!!!!

Nayuta was one of the best things that happened to him, and the man he hated the most presented her head to him on a fucking platter!! Are you seriously gonna expect an emotionally stunted teenager to act rationally after that?? Are you even reading the same manga that I am??

People really don't be thinking, man. Shit gets on my nerves.