73 REASONS WHY I HATE THE 73

First Bus is crap. Especially the number 73. This is a blog about the giant shitball of public transport that is the bus, my conversations with flies and other stuff.

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Reason #4 Grumpy Bus Driver 1

I have decided to revive this blog.  My Facebook page is hogging all the glory so I have come back to it and I will no longer neglect it- or my hatred for the bus.  I will also be discussing  my relationship with alcohol, flies, cleaning and food. 

So, back to it- Facebook post when I was pissed off with grumpy bus driver #1 (this was when the bus prices went up to £4.40 for a day ticket- fucking scammers):

‘Dear Bus Driver,

Less of the attitude you grumpy twat. Don't huff and puff when I give you a ten pound note because you have to give me £5.60 change. Do you even know how little I want to part with that money in the first place without your hissy fit?!  I am not asking you to shit it out, lick it clean and hand it to me on a golden tray with a glass of champagne. Just have some change to give me- without the attitude.

£4.40 for a day ticket anyway? That's a pint... and maybe some crisps if I'm lucky. Do not strop with me about taking my money and doing your god damn job! Sort it out or I will bring you pennies. Four hundred and forty pennies so you will DEFINITELY have change then.’

At least I didn’t get a change ticket. #Everycloud

Plenty more to come. 

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Bliss

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Fuck you first bus. Absolutely ridiculous.

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Reason #3: Change Tickets

What, you don't have change of a tenner?! Are you serious, you don’t have change from £10 when I am asking for a £4 ticket? Six. Quid. Mate. That's all I need. For my lunch. Or wine. What is this change ticket shit? I'm not going to town to get my cash back! What, you don’t carry lots of change on the bus? Oh, is that in case a robber comes and tells you to click your coin tube or you’ll die? 

 The Gloucester Road Highwayman strikes again! The robbery took place just outside the Flyer pub and lasted over half a clicking hour.  It was witnessed by 13 late commuters and that homeless guy that sits at the back smelling of weed. 

Mark Adamson, a recruitment consultant on his way to Swindon that morning said: “I missed my train”. 

All I want is the cash. I have things I want to spend it on. 

Just give me my fucking change. 

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Reason #2: Gradual Whiplash

Start. Stop. Start. Stop. Start. Stop.  I think it must be a company requirement- part of the test- that every bus driver must be able to accelerate and brake over 30 times on the approach to a traffic light, within the space of 5 metres. Skills mate.

There should be a claim site for gradual whiplash. I’ve looked it up and it’s not a thing. It should be.

You know when you've been on a boat for a while and then you get off and you still feel like you’re on the boat because your brain is all messed and you have your “sea legs” on land? Well I’ll tell you what- I’ve got fucking bus neck. 

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Bristol Workmen Have Actually Managed To Misspell 'Bus'

At least if a bup should ever come along, it'll know where it needs to stop. Workmen have managed to misspell the word 'bus' during roadworks. "Bup stop" was painted on to the road surfac

73 Bup stop

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Ha... the 73 loves a good bus bunching. 

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Reason #1 Timing (and Customer Service)

It’s not just that the 73 is late. A lot of buses are late. Sometimes it’s just traffic- I can understand that. Leaving early though? I need to get to my job! I need a reliable mode of transport! (Saying that, I can certainly rely on the 73 to piss me off).  The person at the stop said the 73 left five minutes before it was meant to!

 I wrote First Group a letter, feeling like a hero on watchdog or something, which said that I was annoyed that my bus had left quite a few minutes early from my stop.  I got a shit reply which was something along the lines of:

‘Dear Mr *******,

I do apologise that the bus journey you have discussed, was late on the day stated in your email.  I will ensure that a thorough investigation is put in place to find out the reason for this incident...bla bla bla bla more vague general bullshit...’

I replied:

‘Dear First Group,

Thank you for your callous disregard for your customers. It’s clear that you put customer service at the forefront of your company’s values with your considerate and heartfelt response.  The bus on the day stated was actually early but I look forward to hearing about your findings and the outcome of this thorough investigation.  

sincerely,

Miss ******* 

Needless to say I didn't get a copy of their “thorough investigation”. 

I know why it left early. I’ve seen it happen.  Because the driver stops at Parkway station and then miraculously has time to read the Metro’s ‘Guilty Pleasures’. So, when I missed my bus that day, I waited for the next one which in true fashion, was over half an hour late and I got in trouble at work.  All because he wanted to know who wore the best dress at the fucking Brit Awards. 

Dick.

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I was sat on a 73 at the time...

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Welcome...

So, I have been told by friends that I should start some sort of travel/transport blog because I rant so much on Facebook about how shit the buses are in Bristol, so... here I am.  I think this is mainly because I take up most of their feed with angry statuses and endless moaning about the buses because, well.. they’re shit. Totally shit. 

I have decided to call it ‘73 Reasons Why I Hate the 73′ because I am hoping that by the time I get to 73 I will actually be able to drive so will no longer have any need to write this blog.  I failed my driving test when I was 17. Twice. The first time for hesitation (I thought I was just being polite letting lots of people pass me) and the second for dangerous driving (I did nearly drive into a white van).  Then I found out I was epileptic fairly soon after that, so was not allowed to drive for a year after having a seizure, so was destined to be public transport's bitch.  

You may say, after reading this bit, that I am unjustified in the judgements to come of the drivers of the 73 as I am unable to drive myself but you don’t have to know how to drive a bus to know whether you are late, feel safe on one,  or whether the person driving it is a miserable git. 

I look forward to the day that I can drive past the 73 shouting “BUS WANKERS!” 

But unfortunately, until I am able to drive, I am one of them.  I am... a bus wanker.

So yep. First rant coming soon... Reason #1 Timing