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grav3yardgirl

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rrozeselavy-deactivated-deactiv

so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.

so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT

i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.

HE GONE.

WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.

*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*

in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.

jigokuen

Star Wars fanart!

me, every night, wide awake and staring at the ceiling: ........... what color would my lightsaber even BE

lousysharkbutt

i mean cmon this place should be CRAWLING with sandshrew

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artworkofstephenbyrne

The Best Friends Gang

drinkyourfuckingmilk

support your local space ladies

scum2000

@arkolonaut

starfleetbisexual

this was your father’s lightsaber. actually, one of his many lightsabers because he kept dropping or destroying them. but this is the one i took from him when he was burning to death on a lava bank. don’t kill any younglings with it.

charminglyantiquated

so if there’s one single trope i’m always down to fight it’s the animal bride (folklore motif 402??) which a lot of you are probably familiar with as the selkie - the fisherman either falls in love, steals her skin to trap her on land/gain power over her, or they fall in love and THEN he steals her skin to keep her from leaving, and either way she spends a lot of time gazing sadly out to sea and then she or her child finds the skin and never returns again. and that’s awful on a whole lot of levels - it’s not love, it’s control.

BUT. but the thing is. you how selkies/seal women was a pretty common variation of this? another really popular one was swans.

i just want you to think about that for a moment. swans. like…I get it, they’re pretty, graceful birds, certainly it’s easy to imagine them magically becoming pretty graceful ladies? but have you ever fought a swan. swans are awful. swans are the devil’s geese. imagine seeing a pretty magic lady and being absolutely enchanted by her, and stealing her magic feather cloak, and then you go up and say ‘hey i’m in love with you, let me make you my queen, it will be great, we’ll be so happy’ and she just looks at you for a moment and…

you know i was going to say maybe she just shouts for her sisters and suddenly you’re realizing you’ve made a terrible terrible mistake bc you’re surrounded by big fucking birds who are all hissing. but honestly if this swan lady is as aggressively down to brawl as any other generally unhappy swan, then she’d straight up fuck you up on her own. she’d just deck you roundhouse, honestly. you don’t fuck with swans. why does this trope exist

roachpatrol

okay but consider this: a woman walks to the park every day and feeds the swans and watches them paddle gracefully around the lake, sighing to see how beautifully they swim.

finally one day, a swan comes up to her and says ‘why don’t you come and swim with us? you always sigh so wistfully to see us on the water, and you would be most welcome to join our company, for you have always been a true friend to our kind’

and the woman says, ‘i can’t swim’

and the swan says, ‘we’ll teach you’

and the woman says, ‘literally i can’t swim, my husband stole my sealskin and should i venture into deep water i would surely drown’

and the swan says ‘your husband fucking WHAT’

the next morning the woman’s front yard looks like this.

and neither the woman nor her husband are ever heard from again, though for very different reasons.

defydamage

OH MY GOD.

chismosavirus

so guess who started playing mystic messenger and named their character “my dick”

akimbod

HAHAHAHA

drawverylittle

I always thought it was Raichu until one day it hit me.

littlemissmichigan

I lost it at Shang “paid”

retconnedcrusher

I started crying

iguanamouth

Have you ever thought of a Chinese dragon combined with a dachshund or a ferret?

you mean like. a little. weiner dog dragon ohhohoohh man

ginormouspotato

OH NOOOOOO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

mrrrrps-deactivated20201225

a tiny bird flew in through my window today but i was too tired to shoo it out or anything so i just lied on my bed and the tiny bird just carried on with its tiny bird things

mrrrrps-deactivated20201225

i really miss the tiny bird now. where are you tiny bird

mrrrrps-deactivated20201225