Semi-Hiatus

Kiseop/19/Genie/Wanderer Status- Shattered. Warning: This blog is for 18 and up. NSFW

[genie-kiseop]

Crappy apology poetry written I am now going to sleep.

[k-thrin]

[musicallymanic]

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[genie-kiseop]

Kevin rested his hands on Kiseop's chest even as the other puled away. He looked into Kiseop's bloodshot eyes, seeing the other cry breaking his heart a little, but he kept up his teary smile. "I will Kiseop. That's what's getting me through this until until we come out the other side together." Kevin went on his tip toes to peck Kiseop's nose. "But," he continued, "You come to me if you need to, okay? I'm still here for you. If you're fading away or losing yourself I'll still bring you back."

He couldn’t stop the tears and how he pulled Kevin into another hug. Maybe he could believe a little longer, bask in the sweet affection he’d been denied, regardless of the secrets in his heart. “I will. When you’re ready I will. Just call and I will be there." Lips pressed a gentle kiss to the fairy’s head and he hid his shaking hands, letting himself feel whole. “When are ready to go just pull away, okay?" Kiseop would transport himself elsewhere the minute his love pulled away, unable to keep himself in check in that moment any longer. The distance would let them continue what they needed to do.

[genie-kiseop]

wrapped his arms around Kiseop's neck, holding him tight. Holding him for the last time for some time. "I promise."

Soft lips against his broke down everything he'd built inside of him, silent tears falling down slightly hallow cheeks. It hadn't been anything but a peck but it was a promise his soul clung to. He could be weak just one last time, believe in something that was taken from him and love with abandon one more time. It would tear him apart but he could do it. "I love you too Kevin Woo. More then you will ever understand, I do. You shall have my heart forever."Arms wrapping around the other's thin frame, holding him as close as he could get, Kiseop let his body rest. "I believe you." With tears still slipping silently down his cheeks he knew that they needed to say goodbye soon, that this was a dream he would need to wake up from. His last goodbye filled with hope for tomorrow despite how bleak he tomorrow was. It was perfect and he couldn't ask for a better final encounter. To hear the words he'd been yearning for and to be allowed to hold and even kiss Kevin one last time, lips tingling pleasantly. He would carry these moments with him till the end, sustaining him until he was finished.With unsteady hands, a heavy heart and bloodshot eyes, he smiled one last time. "I love you and I always will. Please remember that." He wanted to add "till then" but he couldn't say goodbye yet, stuffing his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't continue to hold his love.

[genie-kiseop]

Kevin couldn't hold back. He sealed his promised by pressing his lips to the other's. It was a closed and quick kiss, but it was everything Kevin needed to keep going. It reiterated everything he just told Kiseop. "I love you Lee Kiseop," he whispered as he pulled away, "You're everything. And I will fix everything between if it's the last thing I do." Kevin took a deep breath. "You just have to wait for me okay? Just wait..." The words were muffled in Kiseop's shoulder as Kevin (1/2)

.

[genie-kiseop]

Kevin took a deep breath, crying subsiding. "It's only time, Kiseop, time. And just a little bit more. Let's live with out each other for just a little bit more. And then we'll have our forever again." Kevin smiled a little bit, thinking of the future. It was within reach, he just knew it. (3/3)

The hope-giving words falling from lips so pure was acid to his resolve. He allowed himself to imagine, for just one second, that he would be permitted to do as Kevin described, that he could be worth an eternity beside someone he treasured above all else. It was a beautiful moment. Where he was happy and with the fairy in front of him, living without a care in the world. In the house he'd taken apart board by board and then burned for fear of lasting evidence.Mind floating there for a few more seconds, in that addicting world he was not allowed to have, he came back down, unconsciously leaning into the touch at his cheeks and struggling to keep his hands to himself. Tears burned at the back of his eyes again and he wanted to tell Kevin everything. Tell him of his plan in hopes that he could be stopped, be told that he was a fool and that an eternity together was what they both deserved, but he was tongue-tied. Kevin would no longer wish for him after he healed from their separation, was that not clear? He was not present and was not what the fairy needed. Would it not be better if he continued to erase himself? Didn't Kevin deserve an eternity with someone better? Kiseop was worthless. Unwanted. Alone. His existence only survived through the man before him. A man who he hurt and broke because he was not good enough. All of his love was not good enough so the fairy deserved better. He could not be better so he paved the way for someone who could do what he could not. That was his silent and indirect legacy, one last gift hidden in the guise of leaving.With all the thoughts swirling in him, eyes closed, he could not respond. He could not lie but he could not tell the truth so he just breathed and clenched his fists, nails biting into the flesh of his palms. "Yes." The word was willowy and faint, easily breakable, pinned down to nothing the fairy said and thus giving Kevin a chance to place the answer where he wished. His body burned for full contact again, to hold and be held but he silenced it so that they would only go where his former lover willed.

[infernalxmachine]

“I’m not a murderer.”

[infernalxmachine]

The sentence had become a chant, reverberated for months in his head until the words lost their meaning due to the constant repetitions. Eventually, Jongin gave up altogether and accepted the fact that he was a murderer. And still is.

Wandering around the city when the world is black with splotches of luminosity, he leaped from one rooftop to another. Kai is restless, waiting for a criminal action to take place; waiting for the decadence to soak his knife with blood, staining his vision with crimson again.

Tonight is no exception.

He’s not a superhero from the comic books that you adore. He’s not equipped with the kind of morality that the society expects him to possess. Sometimes it takes more than a sense of justice to right the wrongs, to punish the malevolent, and that’s the path that Kai is taking.

About — Literate AU — Para & Script — Trigger Warning

[genie-kiseop]

There was still so much time for the two of them. "You're worth all of this Kiseop. Every time I wake up alone I know that it's so that one day I will never have to again." Kevin pulled himself away. He leaned his forehead on Kiseop's, cupping the genie's face in his hands and closing his eyes. "I cry so that one day you can wipe away every tear." (2/3)

.

[genie-kiseop]

"Alright." Kevin let himself be pulled to Kiseop, immediately wrapping his arms securely around his waist. He let himself be held by the other as a few tears fell from his eyes. He allowed himself one chance to be cared for by the genie, promising himself that it could get him through just a little more time. Kiseop's words in his ear made the tears come faster. Kiseop made it sound like they'd never see each other again. Like this was goodbye all over again. But it couldn't be. Not now. (1/3)

.

[genie-kiseop]

Kiseop's hand again. He didn't hold it in full, just curled his fingers around Kiseop. Kevin's chest rose and fell heavy. "I-I just... Want you to take g-good care of yourself, okay?" Kevin forced back a sob, only to end up hiccuping once. The mix of happiness, desperation, sadness and longing swelled in him, coming out in the form of tears. He immediately turns and dropped his head away, refusing to let Kiseop see. (2/2)

Kevin's comment went straight through one ear and out the other. He hadn't slept in a week -- his life force had healed and kept his body running anyway -- and he couldn't crumble until his task was complete. Failure wasn't an option for him. Not now and not ever. If he did this right then everything would be okay. Kevin would be okay and that was all that truly mattered. The fairy would survive this even if it killed Kiseop both figuratively and physically. So lost in his temporary musings that his guard fell for a couple seconds at the light touch to his hand. A mixture of indescribable emotions passed through hollow orbs (pain, fear, desolation, love, defeat, anguish, happiness, worry, care, etc) and his voice was soft when he replied. "I will however you must promise me in return that you will do the same, alright?" Able to see the building tears, he closed his eyes a moment so he would no cry himself. He had to be strong and with a very light tug -- one that would allow the fairy to deny the action should he so choose -- he pulled him close for a light hug. The genie wanted to comfort the man he loved but he was out of sweet nothings, of words that he was not allowed to say any longer. Kevin had made it clear he wished for time and space, that they likely would never come back together and he would respect that. It was clear his beautiful fairy was struggling so he had to be strong, he had to keep everything together so that he could cry. There was always time later for the tears burning at the back of his eyes. When he finally is able to speak, it is in a strong whisper into the ear of his last love. "You shall be more than okay so there is no need to waste tears on someone such as me, not anymore. I believe in you and that you will find your way. Do not cry for something you wish to let go of Kevin Woo. You deserve more than this struggle so please smile." The words tumbled from him and he allowed them as one last indulgence, as a selfish sense of self-preservation because maybe he could live for just a short time longer in the heart of someone he needed to let go of -- who wanted to let go of him. It wouldn't be too long now anyway and he could allow this for one last time. He could step into that eternal rest without reservations after this encounter, he was sure. After everything was done he could rest.

[genie-kiseop]

The skin where Kiseop's lips touched burned when he pulled away. His hand seared when it was dropped. He craved more, wanting to touch and hold the man in front of him. But he held back. He couldn't fall apart here. "But," he replied, "You should still sleep. It's good for you." Kevin looked up into the other's eyes. Something was missing. Kiseop could smile all he want, but his eyes were dim and he felt lifeless. There was no way Kiseop felt any less broken than Kevin. Kevin reached for (1/2)

.

[genie-kiseop]

Kevin took a tentative few steps towards Kiseop. He knew he should have walked away, but he couldn't. He moved to stand right before the other man. "It's nice to see you too, Kiseop," he spoke, barely a whisper. His voice was scared and sad. Just seeing the other, knowing he couldn't touch or have made it feel like he was tearing in two.Overwhelmed with emotion, he tried hide any brokenness in his voice. "What are you doing out here so late?"

More than surprised that Kevin moved toward him, he relaxed his body into an open yet formal stance and offered him a small smile in an attempt to mask his hallowed soul. They were so close to each other but likely worlds apart. The genie studied the other's features intently, searing his visage in his brain so that he could remember him always. The voice that met him made every fibre in his being scream and he gently reached to take the other's hand in his, pressing a feather-light kiss to the silky skin on the back as he was sure a hug would not have been welcome. It was the best he could do now, hoping that his minor lapse in control would be forgiven and then forgotten later.Just as quickly as he took the fairy's hand, he let it go, mourning the loss of it's soothing warmth already. What could he say without giving away his plan? A half-truth slipped from pink lips. "Wandering. Sleep has become difficult but I suppose I do not need it." The small smile returned, wanting to tell Kevin not to worry but afraid such words were presumptuous. His goal was to erase himself and assuming the other still cared would destroy any progress he had made. This was all for his former lover's good in the end, was it not? No more Kiseop, no more reason for pain.

[sparklingbiceps-deactivated2015]

[genie-kiseop]

-he's out in the city, wandering almost aimlessly looking for any store that might be open at such a late hour; as he's peeking into the window of a jewelry when he spots a figure in the reflection, so he turns around to see the face of his former lover- I... -his voice cracks, trying to speak but no words come out-

He had been out wandering in what he thought was the middle of nowhere, having transported himself from the spot his and his former lover's house had been. The one he'd built from the ground up and then tore down. If he had been even remotely aware of his surroundings he would have known that the town he was in was one too close to the academy, that he should have left the minute he arrived but he did not.Walking for what felt like hours, Kiseop took a small rest in front of a closed store, resting his worn body for just one moment before continuing on. It was in that small pause that his former lover had found him, both freezing at the sight of another. Faintly, he wondered if this was the universe's way of giving him one last goodbye and with the last little bit of strength he had left he dropped into a slight bow, forcing all of his pain and emptiness to the side. If this was to be their last meeting he would not waste one second of it."It is a nice surprise to see you Kevin."

[genie-kiseop]

Dirt covered hands and ashes were what remained of the life he built, empty soul trapped in the confines of a body broken. Scarred, he was a monstrosity, covering all but his hands and face -- the only unmarked parts of his physical form. Feather trapped in tightening fingers, torturous thoughts washed through him and he squeezed, almost crushing the only thing that kept him here. What was the point of living if the very meaning of your existence no longer wanted or needed you? The answer was filled with obscurity and he sat there, clenching and unclenching his fists in hopes that maybe he would slip. Squeeze too hard. Would he be free of a hollowed heart then? Free of a body he long since stopped trying to understand? Or would he just disappear permanently? Maybe he would find out soon.

[u-kissheart]

Kiseop & Kevin Playing with the curtains on the MV set ♥