i just wanted to drop into your inbox to talk about how much i love your artāyour music is so tender, your prose is so evocative, and your illustrations are so beautiful !!!!
i know you posted your IF IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS LIKE THIS poem quite some time ago, but i think about it on a near daily basis. idk what your original intent was with it at all, but it resonates so much with me as someone who is aro and ace. right when i think iām content with it all, i find myself running through the whole āoh, if only Love would arrive; iād forgive it for all the years it has evaded meā (or: iād forgive Love for tracking mud inside) thought cycle haha :,) i guess i still have meals of denial stored away in the fridge even though iāve been telling myself that iāve only been making meals of acceptance for one! anyway. itās very bittersweet to me lol (in a good way!!!)
do you mind if i ask how you come up such apt ways to capture mood and tone in your writing?? youāre so descriptive and creative, and itās something i admire so so much !
this was SUCH a sweet ask to receive; i've just been treasuring it and rereading it in my inbox since I received it. I feel like I keep this blog mostly for myself as a way to store/organize my own stuff, so it's really lovely to hear that it's been meaningful to you too. thank you!!
I'm also aroace, and I'm so happy that the "IF IT HAPPENS" poem resonated for you too. what you're describing is really similar to my own experiences that inspired that poem. i've found as I've grown up that I have a strong distaste for sex/romance, but i've always really craved companionship, so that desire for Love feels complicated for me. it's hard to imagine my future without a partner there, but it's hard to imagine it with one, too. it's been weird coming to terms with my aroace-ness in my early twenties, because there's an instinct from everyone around me (and myself, sometimes) to say "wait!! there's still hope for you, don't give up yet!" and I think this poem was a way for me to contend with that. leaving room for hope that Love might arrive, but acknowledging that if it does, it will look different than what people might expect for me. it'll be messy, and inconvenient, and late. and i might even be a little mad that it found me after i'd spent all this time becoming content without it. but not too mad to let it in. very bittersweet :)
thank you for the very kind words about my writing, you are so sweet!! I don't know that I can describe my process very distinctly; it feels sort of like a cross between journaling and painting to me. I think maybe there's a lot of crossover for me between written and visual creativity? like I often think about poetry/lyrics in images, and i think about how the words feel in my mouth. mostly I am just trying to write things that feel true. being able to communicate something complicated has always been a good emotional release for me. journaling and writing songs kinda kept me afloat when I was a teenager. also, listening to the kind of music I want to create!! dodie was always a major influence for me lol. there's a tiny artist I really love rn called ducksmithson.
thank you again for the sweet ask, you really made my week!! it's been a harder season for me lately and i haven't been creating/writing as much, but you're inspiring me :) thank you!! š¤
