"Now collapse, take delight in the fall and catch your breath"

22 / Bulgaria / INFJ

[dankmemeuniversity]

[girlinareasonablypricedcar]

Old English, why do you have this word? Why?

[atii-uqaulahaluanngilutit]

More dragons back then.

[fanotastic]

I lost my shit over a pen today like holy shit

[fanotastic]

You don't understand. It was a 7 function pen!

[fanotastic]

Someone stole my fucking 7 function pen.

[fanotastic]

7 FUNCTION PEN HAS RETURNED

[mason11505]

@fanotastic what are the functions?

[fanotastic]

1. It's a pen

2. A mini ruler

3. A level

4. A stylus

5. A FLATHEAD

6. A PHILLIPS HEAD

[swimming-owl]

okay i will bite what is the seventh

[fanotastic]

7. The backbone of society

[princesstigerbelle]

I live for those pics of cats that got onto sports fields on live tv

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

how many hands you got

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

allow me illustrate you

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

that’s still four people

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

i truly can’t make this any clearer

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

don’t know what you’re on about. will smith and slightly wider blue will smith have been married for years. they’re a hollywood love story

[naomster]

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

[nodaybuttodaytodefygravity]

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

[feministism]

[drankinwatahmelin]

4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.

5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger

6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights

7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)

[bando--grand-scamyon]

That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving

8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.

[gaylittlepieceofsh1t]

Yes this last one really saves lives y'all I do it all the time

[uncleromeo]

girls have to learn to view the world like international intelligence agents just to be safe walking down the street. smh.

[twilightt-fantasy]

guys pls pls pls reblog and girls pls pls pls be safe out there. terrifying and so sad that we have to worry about this on a daily basis

[guiltyidealist]

(I’m an enby, but, frankly, this is helpful for anyone.)

[cryptidinks]

- always tell someone where youre at and an approx time when youll be back

[witcheshaven]

Add text replacement words in your phone if possible. Something short and memorable that you can send quickly to people in moments of emergencies.

E.g.

[justnick612-deactivated20210723]

God, this gave me chills… so sad, but all very good advice. 😔

[thepeoplesduchess]

bloop!

[melanated-violet]

This will always be funny 😂

[dankmemeuniversity]

[rosebramblewolf]

humans: awwww the kitty loves the tree look the magic of xmas touches everyone

cat: im gonna eat it

[mvyflowerss]

Astrology Signs as Possums

[renthony]

we as a society really ought to bring back advice animals, that really was the Peak of memes

[communistcrystalgems]

Did I do this right?

[renthony]

This is the best fucking thing I’ve seen all week.

[statictieflings-deactivated2020]

Reblog if you would wait with him in the rain

[transmadotsuki]

He inside tho

[sexualyactivetoyotaprius]

He doesnt want to get wet

[transmadotsuki]

why is he floating, also

[sexualyactivetoyotaprius]

Maybe he has a medical condition, mind your business

[catsbeaversandducks]

SMOL BEANS

By Kelly Foster Kittens

[girlitfeelsgood]

The 4 moods

[frank-kastled]

“Hozier FUCKS” contains his entire discography

[sennenkoi]

[lll-ll-ll-lll]

[bokchois]

I’m going to be that person with a million pokemon stickers merch

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]