gotta go

gonna learn how to pause my life so i can experience every piece of music that will ever be made across the whole universe and time and every dimension. might be awhile... he/him

[fuckrozanov]

goodmorning this is your assigned shane of the day

[kotortwo]

got fired from being the entertainer at a bachelor party for twisting the groom-to-be's dick into a poodle shape

[json-derulo]

sitting my white ass down and listening

[markadoo]

child: why do they sell board games in bookstores

loving parent: because there's a manual in every board game

child: oh

child: why don't they sell cars in bookstores

loving parent: because when you're buying a board game, what you're really buying is the rules, and those are in the manual. a car manual with no car can't drive you, but if you have the manual to a board game you could play it without the pieces. there are people who can play a game of chess just by saying where they're moving the pieces and imagining the board, but it's very hard so they give you a board and pieces to help you.

loving parent: That's why you never see Mousetrap in bookstores. Because you can't play it with just the manual.

child: whats Mousetrap

moral: kids these days don't know about Mousetrap

[cuppydogshane]

i think if you love someone and take a polaroid of them the polaroid will Know...... and you can see it in the image. no other photograpy does this

[wordfather]

hey check your computer i sent you an esnail🐌

[gaynehollander]

It’s not often that “and I guess I thought maybe we… never mind” actually means “dude, I fucking douched for you” but not often isn’t never.

[kosmogrl]

you’ll be fine. you made it out of impossible situations before and you will do it again

[kosmogrl]

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? YOU WILL DO IT AGAIN.

[kosmogrl]

#Iprommy

[akron-squirrel]

Visit Original Link

[atomiclace]

these are my mutuals. they know who they are

[mymansmoon]

shane sitting with his feet up on the couch and ilya comes in and drops onto the cushion by his feet and pulls them into his lap. shane is reading a book and he just smiles over it at ilya before going back to it, and ilya turns his attention to the tv that's on, but as he does so he starts massaging shane's feet. shane makes a noise, is like that's nice and ilya hums, putting more of his back into it. dragging his thumbs up the arches and pressing them into the balls. stretching shane's toes backwards and forwards. rotating shane's feet around the pivot of his ankles. shane makes these deeply pleased noises throughout, emphasis on certain points that hold the most tension, and ilya gets a little hard beneath shane's feet which shane laughs about, nudging his heel against ilya's semi. ilya slaps his foot in retaliation. once he's done shane releases a deep satisfied sigh and says thanks, baby and ilya, head leaned back on the couch as he stares contentedly at shane, just hums in reply. shane opens his arms and beckons him over with a come here and ilya stretches himself out over shane, drops his head onto shane's chest, turned to the side so he can continue watching his show. shane rests one arm over ilya's shoulderblades and absently scratches through the short curls at the nape of his neck, his other arm propped up on ilya's back so he can resume reading his book over ilya's head, ilya's curls tickling his chin and mouth. they fall asleep like that eventually ❤️

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[requiem-on-water]

Living: Some days you wake up and immediately start to worry (1980-82) by Jenny Holzer

[ottawacentaurshq]

heated rivalry gif meme

↳  [6/6] outfits

[shilyas]

condo stairway scene gets me every single time bc of the way ilya lingers. the way he takes way too long to tie his shoes & adjust his jeans, the way he stands for a moment even though his cab is definitely there & the way he teases shane as he slowly lowers himself to give the sweetest, most unhurried kiss goodbye.

[skidfarts]

Back when i was like. 9 i watched a cuck porn video And i didnt quite understand the concept of what it was But i remember being so sad about how the woman was talking to her husband while she was fucking this other guy. and then she broke the couch and she said "uh oh sweetie we broke your couch.." all condescendingly And then he said "i LOVED that couch.😕" and it made me so upset i cried

[cages-boxes-hunters-foxes]

every conversation on here increasingly feeling like this tweet

[wyatthazy]

three apples tall ✅ 0 days old ✅ the littlest ever ✅