little ghost boy || [JATP Agere/CGLRE]- “Panic Attacks and Secrets” (Chapter 8)
A/N: been planning *this* plot point for a while. Hope y'all enjoy.
Reggie panics and involuntarily regresses after a nightmare, Alex meets up with Willie at a skatepark when band practice is cancelled, and Reggie makes a big decision.
He couldn't breathe. Or at least, it felt that way. He didn't remember what was so scary about his dream at first, all he knew is that it upset him.
Tears ran down his face as he sobbed, sniffling. He sat up, taking in his surroundings. He was in Julie's bed. He didn't recall why, but he was glad he had the stuffed bear Julie gave him for comfort.
He knew that he was very little but he didn't care. This was to much for him. And he needed Luke.
"Reggie, it's time to get up for band practice-"
Reggie heard Julie's voice as she opened the door, speaking casually until she got a glance of him. "Oh my god, Reg! What happened?" She shut her door behind her, and quickly came to sit next to him on the bed.
She had let him nap in her room because he had stayed up late the night before doing something, planning to come wake him up before band practice.
Reggie shook his head, closing in on himself and squeezing the bear. "Mama!" Reggie cried, babbling over his words. He panicked, his breathing becoming more quickened and panicky.
"Baby, I need you to breathe for me. Like me, okay?" Julie continued to breathe in deeply, and then out. Reggie nodded, attempting to follow her lead. She didn't care that he was little at a bad time, she just wanted him to be okay. Julie didn't ask for an explanation, nor did she question what was going on. In the moment, she just did everything she could to help him calm down.
She continued on, muttering praise and reassurance until his breathing was more level. "Bad dream, mama! Scary and I wan Luke..." he whined, still sniffling.
"It's okay, baby," Julie opened her arms, letting him hug her. He snuggled into her chest, hugging her tightly. "And I'll see if I can get Luke for you, yeah?"
"Band pwactice?" Reggie pulled away, tilting his head. "Gotta be big."
"No, you don't. You just had some sort of panic attack and that's what this is for, remember? To deal with your mental health and emotions."
Reggie nodded, and Julie continued. "We don't have a gig for a week, we'll come up with another time to practice. And...I'll come up with something to tell Alex. You just play with your stuffie, okay?"
Reggie picked the bear back up from the bed, hugging it and nodding. Julie's breathing exercise and affection helped comfort him a bit, but he still didn't feel well. He wanted Luke.
Luke's comfort seemed so important in the moment due to the contents of his dream. The nightmare made him afraid of losing Luke, and he needed to know that he wouldn't.
Julie leaned forward and kissed his forehead. Reggie hugged the stuffed animal, trying to focus on keeping his breathing level for the time being, watching his Mama leave the room.
"Julie!" Luke cheered once Julie entered the studio, dropping his smile when he saw how serious she looked. "Where's Reggie?"
"I need to talk to you," Julie said, in a serious tone that scared him a bit. . Luke lifted his guitar over his head, going over and setting it on his stand.
"I'll be back." He told Alex, following Julie out of the studio and leaving the blonde very confused. Once they were outside, and the garage doors were shut behind him, he spoke aloud, questioning what was going on.
"Reggie had a panic attack," Julie sighed, seemingly worried. "He said something about a bad dream and he's very little and he's asking for you. Can we cancel band practice? Can you please go spend some time with him?" Julie pleaded. She was really worried.
"Of course...I'll tell Alex that Reggie had a nightmare but leave out the details. He used to get them pretty bad, about his parents and stuff, and he'd be sensitive after. I'm sure he won't think anything of it," Luke decided, nodding. "I'll talk to Reggie, and then we can all do something as a distraction for him, okay?"
"Sounds like a plan." Julie confirmed, still on-edge.
"Hey," Luke spoke softly to her, picking up on her stress. "He's gonna be okay. We'll figure this out."
Julie hummed, nodding. "Yeah...thanks for that." She thanked him for the comfort, and Luke smiled.
"Nightmares? I feel so bad...I thought those went away," Alex frowned, worried for his friend. "Can I see him? I used to help him when he had them when we were alive."
"No!" Julie said, immediately. She awkwardly chuckled, "We got this. You go hang out with Willie or something, and we can all hang out later tonight." she compromised. Julie understood that Alex was worried and tried to come up with a solution that would allow him to see Reggie, without exposing him for being an age regressor.
"O-okay, yeah. You sure you got this?" Alex looked to Luke, who nodded. "When I come back, can we talk all about something?" Alex asked.
"Uh, yeah. Whatever you want, just not right now." Luke wasn't really worried about whatever he was planning to bring up, just trying to get him out so that he could go help his baby.
Alex nodded, setting his drumsticks down and stepping away from the drum set. Luke gave him a soft smile, before poofing out as Julie exited through the door. Alex didn't know what was up, but he was worried.
It seemed like Luke was always trying to keep him out of the house, and while he loved spending time with his boyfriend, he was missing his friends too. But he was kinda thankful about it, because they never questioned why he was gone all the time, they just seemed to be glad that he wasn't in the house to discover whatever they were keeping from him.
They were hiding something from him, but he was hiding something too. It wasn't his secret to tell anyways. It was Willie's.
He figured that he should go check on the boy in question anyways. With everything going on, Willie was always pretty stressed. Hiding a relationship from the person who owns your soul will do that to you. He poofed out, appearing on a bench at a empty skate park.
How long would it be before it hit them that their secrets were exactly the same? At least, Willie and Reggie's were.
"Luke!" Reggie made grabby hands towards his friend the moment he appeared in the room. Luke came forward, leaning down to hug him without making him get up from the bed. Reggie cuddled into his chest. "Scary dream, Luke! You didn't wanna be friends anymore- and Julie left too. And Alex-" he started rambling, working himself back to tears again.
"Baby, none of us would ever leave you, okay? I know nightmares can be scary but they're not real. " Luke assured, kissing the top of Reggie's head softly. "None of us are going anywhere, I promise you."
He let go of Reggie, letting him settle back into the bed. "I heard you kinda panicked. Are you feeling okay?" Luke sat on the bed next to him, hearing the door open as Julie entered. She didn't interrupt, closing the door behind her and taking her spot on the other side of Reggie as he replied.
"Still sad." he mumbled, shaking his head. "Don't wanna lose you," he said.
"I know, baby. You won't," Luke repeated. Julie seemed concerned. "Do you wanna tell Mama what the dream was about?"
Reggie turned to Julie, bringing his thumb to his lip. "Lost Luke, and yous, and Alex. Didn't wanna be friends anymore," he pouted.
"Poor baby," Julie opened his arms, letting him hug her. "Luke's right, we're not going anywhere. I can promise you that, Little Prince."
Reggie hummed, cuddling into her too. "Hey, Rockstar?" Luke asked after a minute of just them hugging. Reggie pulled away from Julie, tilting his head as he looked over at him. "Will a movie make you feel a bit better?" Luke asked.
Reggie shrugged. "We could watch Winnie the Pooh!" Julie suggested, in a excited tone that made Reggie really wanna watch it. He pouted though, shaking his head. "Why not, Flower?"
"Makes me littler," he mumbled shyly, his face a little pink.
Luke gave an amused smile. "And exactly how big are you right now?" he questioned in a teasing tone.
"Dunno," Reggie pouted. "Not a baby," he decided.
"Hmm, well...does Winnie the Pooh make you happy?" Julie interrupted, joining back in on the conversation. Reggie nodded slowly. "Then what does it matter if it triggers a younger headspace? You're allowed to be little, even if 'little' is very young."
Reggie seemed hesitant to agree, but Julie leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, distracting him from whatever he was going to say. "I'll set up the show. Julie, is there any way to get more blankets so that the baby is more comfy? We can build a little pillow fort!"
Reggie bounced it place. "Yeah, Mama, can we?"
Julie rolled her eyes, playfully glaring at Luke, chuckling a bit. "Yeah, I'll see what I can do. Reggie, you can be my little helper!"
"That's a very important job, mister." Luke said playfully. Reggie nodded, seeming determined to help Julie with whatever she needed. Julie stood up, reaching out her hand for Reggie to take.
What Reggie needed right now was a distraction. And Julie and Luke were providing just that. They always seemed to know what he needed and how to help him.
And Reggie would always be thankful for that.
Alex poofed onto a bench in an empty skate park, looking around for Willie.
"Alex!" Willie cheered, stopping his skateboard in front of the bench. He sat down next to him. Alex still had no idea how they were always able to correctly guess where the other was most of the time. It was weird.
"Hey, Willie," Alex chuckled at his excitement. "How are you?"
"Not little, if that's what you're getting at," Willie told him. "Actually though, I'm pretty okay at the moment! I've been skating and just hanging out. You?"
"Well, I was supposed to practice with the band today but then they cancelled it because of Reggie. He was pretty shaken up after a nightmare, they wouldn't let me see him for some reason." Alex explained.
"It sounds like they're hiding something related to Reggie from you. Do you have any ideas on what it could be?" Willie frowned, sitting back in the bench and getting settled.
"Actually, I think I might."
"Go on," Willie seemed interested.
"At first I thought it was just a weird Reggie thing- but on Halloween night, I caught Reggie sleeping and sucking his thumb. I-i think he might be like you," Alex seemed hesitant, like he wasn't completely sure.
"I mean, I think that's possible. You said that he deals with anxiety too, right? And that he didn't have the best childhood?"
Alex nodded in affirmation. "Those are both two things people can use age regression to deal with."
Alex nodded again, "There's so many other things too. I was thinking it in the back of my mind since you told me about you a month ago, but I didn't know for sure. He will disappear with either Julie or Luke, or both, for extended periods of time. Whenever I come home, one of them will distract me until the other two come back, and Reggie always is kinda shy."
"Like I am when I come out of littlespace," Willie connected.
"Yeah, I don't know, but I do think it's possible. Either way, I'm gonna ask them about it tonight, see if I can figure out what they're keeping from me." Alex ran his fingers through his hair. "But while I'm here, do you wanna do something?"
"I-i know I said I wasn't little-"
"You can be if you want." Alex cut him off, smiling at him. Willie smiled back, nodding.
"Okay. Cool. Can we go to the park?" Willie was thankful. He could only ever feel comfortable being little away from the club, and it was much easier to be a kid when you had someone to play with.
"Luke! Look at all the blankies we got!" Reggie giggled, coming over to Julie's bed and dumping a pile of soft blankets on the bed. He looked so proud of himself for helping, even though it was obvious that Julie carried more and did all the work.
"Whoa! Those are a lot! You must be so strong, baby."
Reggie blushed a little bit. He was still getting used to the praise thing. Instead of pointing out things he did wrong, or getting mad at him, they made a point to tell him what he did well. While softly correcting and helping him improve in spots he could do better. Instead of 'You're not good enough', it was 'You're amazing, and we're gonna help you be even better'.
"Now you get to help me set this up! I don't know how we're gonna do a fort though..." she trailed off, looking around her room. "We could pull the chair over here, and use the stool to create a roof? Just drape the blanket across it and set up on the floor?"
They eventually figured out the blanket fort thing, setting it up on the ground. They all cuddled up inside of it, Reggie sitting between his friends with the computer on his lap. Reggie was definitely right about the show making him littler.
He was sucking on his thumb and cuddling both his bear and Luke. Julie had been the one mainly taking care of Reggie the past few times he regressed, and he seemed to want Luke now. That dream spooked him, and out of the two people he trusted, he wanted the one he knew longer. Julie didn't take offence to that, just glad that he was feeling better.
Reggie kept giggling at the movie, but he eventually fell back asleep against Luke. Luke reached forward,pressing the spacebar on the laptop to pause the show once he was sure the baby was sleeping. "We should let him get some more sleep. He can stay in the pillow fort, though." Luke suggested.
Julie nodded, "The crying probably tired him back out. We can let him sleep for a while and hopefully he'll be big when he wakes up."
Luke nodded a bit in response, closing the laptop and setting it aside, working to carefully lay Reggie down without waking him up. He stirred a bit at the last minute, whining. "No go.." Reggie mumbled sleepily. He fell back asleep basically immediately, but Luke's heart melted.
"Julie, he's so adorable-"
"I know, but if you spend a million years cooing over him, we're never gonna come up with something to tell Alex."
Luke rolled his eyes, proceeding to climb out of their little fort, followed by Julie.
Little did they know, there was no need to lie to Alex. They'll figure it out eventually.
"I have to go home, kiddo. I'm sorry," Alex looked at the pouty kid in front of him, frowning a bit.
"But Awex!" Willie whined. "Wanna keep playin'."
Alex smiled a bit at his mispronunciation of his name, "I know, Little One. But we can always play later, right?"
Willie nodded, casting his eyes down. "Mkay. I miss you."
"I'll miss you too, Willie." Alex opened his arms, letting the little hug him. Little Willie had an older headspace age then Little Reggie, for sure, but they were alike in many ways. When they eventually met, and interacted in littlespace, it was undoubtedly going to be an absolutely adorable sight to see.
But of course, there were many things that needed to happen before they got there. Many secrets to be told. Many conversations to be had.
"Can you be a big kid for me, buddy? I know big Willie can take care of himself, I don't know about you, though."
Willie pouted, but he nodded nonetheless. "Be big after you leave, pwomise." he held out his pinky childishly.
Alex gave an amused smile, wrapping his pinky around his. "I know it's hard to pull yourself out of headspace. It's okay."
After a moment of silence, Alex leaned forward, kissing Willie's forehead before smiling at him. "I'll see you later."
Willie hummed, stepping back as he poofed out. Willie frowned, sad that he was gone. He stepped back onto the playground, going over to the swings and taking a seat.
He had to be big before heading back to the club. Sometimes, Caleb wasn't the nicest person about the more childish part of him. Only sometimes, when things at the club weren't doing well and there was a lot going on. And Willie knew he had been pretty stressed after failing to possess a teenage boy for more then a few day. And getting yelled at for not being able to understand orders wasn't something on his 'to-do' list for today.
He was glad he got to spend some time with Alex, though.
"There, all the pillow fort stuff is put away. I think Alex will be heading back soon, though." Luke said, looking over to a nervous Reggie as he set one of Julie's pillows back in place on her bed.
"Are you sure you wanna tell him? We can come up with a lie." Julie offered, coming to sit next to him. Reggie shook his head a bit.
"I'm okay. I-i'm sure about this. Nervous out of my mind, but sure."
"Okay, Reg. Just let us know if you change your mind." Luke told him, sitting down as well.
"I will." Reggie assured, biting on his lip and bouncing his knee. He was very nervous. This was the first time he'd be willingly telling someone, and it was terrifying. He could still back out, but he didn't think he wanted to. He trusted Alex, and he knew somewhere, deep down, that he'd probably be okay with it.
The most he'd do is tease him playfully like Luke did. But it was still scary.
Alex walked through the door, talking about how he had gone to the studio to find them first. Reggie waited until he was done with his rambling, speaking up nervously.
"Alex, I have something to tell you..."
Was he really doing this?
A/N: Reblogs and asks with your thoughts/reactions to this chapter are very much appreciated! Thank you for reading!
