I was a fucking idiot to think things would get better!!!
Today's Document

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@giggle-star
I was a fucking idiot to think things would get better!!!
do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"
Iām hurting. Itās fine.
āWeāre two unstable enablersā.
I can scream lyrics too you know.
Even when you can't open your curtains to welcome the sunlight. Even when your heart feels twice as small as it usually is. Even in the deepest dark you know. Especially then.
Inspired byĀ @wetheurban
evermore or the 1? fearless or red? lover or better than revenge? wildest dreams or dress? stay beautiful or change? superstar or starlight? delicate or enchanted? tim mcgraw or shake it off? miss americana and the heartbreak prince or you belong with me? bye bye baby or epiphany? haunted or seven? never grow up or anti-hero? midnight rain or come in with the rain?
āwhy are you tired? you havenāt done anything all dayā the simple fact that i exist drains me. hope this helps
having short-term memory is like. this book profoundly affected me. that show bared my soul. i donāt remember a single thing about it. but it did
i genuinely thought I would be better by 25 but it really seems like I'm just getting worse and going backwards and becoming the worst version of myself that's ever lived. like it doesn't feel fair that I tried so hard and worked so hard and thought I had grown but everything just fell apart because of shit outside of my xontrol. I'm just tired of feeling fucking insane like why can I not just get a fucking hold of my emotions dude
I realise there is only so much advice you can follow. Ultimately, you have to live. That means making mistakes. You canāt go through life expecting that wise words will be enough. Sometimes you have to suffer to learn the lesson.
You have to start noticing things. The direction of the rays of sunshine, how it touches and warms your skin; the sway of a leaf in a mild breeze; the simple beauty of the flowers; the strong smell of your morning coffee; the wind in your hair and on your face; the liveliness of the city; the calm of your soul. You have to start noticing this and start living for it.
your mistake is thinking healing will always feel good, and not often like molting while clung to dead tree bark
gentle reminder: you donāt exist to please other people.
sometimes you listen to music and god personally delivers the sounds to your ears & your nerves & your heart to show you that life is an endless gift. btw.
Me: damn this situation I'm in sure isn't ideal, what am I gonna do about this
Suicidal Ideation Man who lives in my brain: perhaps I have a suggestion āļøš¤
Stay so busy so that you have no time to be sad.
-@lipikkawrites