freeze your brain !

[gilbertgrief-a]

aregentsruin‌:

“ look at them. what a wonderful turn of events. ” and by THEM, he means the six corgis that are currently being walked ( or walking, judging by the utter chaos of the situation ) by …  he doesn’t remember the kid’s name, just that he was dumb and desperate enough to sign up to be klaus mikaelson’s corgi walker. “ you have one bad day, indulge in impulsively procuring six corgis, and the sun shines bright once more. ” apparently he’s a dog person now. “ i should start doing this every time i have an itch for doing something impulsive. you know, as opposed to wreaking savage havoc on a village or two. ”

the day had NOT been going well,  turns out that the third trimester was dead set on making her it’s BITCH,  and so far it was winning  ----  not being able to do a few things,  and having less independence was something that driving elena up the wall.  and now she had bumped into him,  greeeat.  biting her tongue was an insanely hard thing to do,  especially when she was in as much pain with her back and feet,  but somehow she manages it.  biting down so hard that she’s sure she’s drawn blood,  and instead she remains quiet,  putting down her bags for a moment,  hand rested upon her swollen tummy,  eyes glancing between him and the dogs. despite her remaining quiet for a few moments,  there’s a hint of displeasure upon her features,  something she’s not entirely able to hide.  “  i SUPPOSE it’s a much healthier option,  and you’ll be saving lives... oh and DOGS too,  if you treat them well,  that is.  ”

[gilbertgrief-a]

afreakwithaknifecollection‌:

“So, my birthday was the other day. But I was dead for it. Does that mean I’m twenty-four still? Twenty-five? Or..Christ, forty-five?” Jo idly twirled an old, familiar knife in her right hand as she mused aloud, and then reached forward for her beer on the bar in front of her to bring it to her lips. The idea of being that old was strange, considering her life was cut so short. Forty-five…and yet she died at twenty-four. She scrunched her nose up in distaste as the music in the bar around her suddenly came to her attention, and she shook her head. “And what in the hell happened to music in the past decade?” @apxstarters​

if it were anyone NORMAL observing this girl and what exactly she was saying,  maybe they would have had a total nervous breakdown at the strange occurrences.  but elena?  no,  she’d done that four times over,  been there,  in fact she’s pretty sure she wrote the book on life and it’s tendencies to put you in the ground more times than truly fair.  the knife however,  is a little unnerving,  and a hand is rested almost protectively over her bump as she sits not too far over from her.  not that she thinks she’d TRY anything,  but hey,  you can never be too careful.  “  in my experience,  you don’t age so i’d say you’re still the great and youthful age of twenty four.  ”  she murmurs,  bringing her glass of soda to her lips,  enjoying the cold refreshing drink.  she’s laughing instantly at the reaction to the music playing over the radio.  “  welcome to the 2030s,  where music is nothing but a cable car crash jammed with sexual innuendos.  it can be a little jarring.  ” 

[gilbertgrief-a]

witlessgilbert‌:

It had been a strange day, even for Jeremy, yet it appeared that it had passed now and he was able to get on with his jobs. He had always enjoyed working at the grill, and somehow, he had found himself back there like time and time before. He felt it were a bit deja vu like, but he did not want to question it, not when fate was involved. He had not had the best luck, and so far, recently things had been smooth sailing. “What can I get you?” He shouted towards the person at the bar, who, until just now, he had been idly ignoring—- totally obliviously in his own thoughts.

it wasn’t like elena sought out bars now,  especially with the swollen bump sticking out between her hips  ----  being heavily pregnant meant she had to wait a little longer for a wild night out with caroline,  but they sold food  ----  and she couldn’t walk much further,  not with the amount her back was aching,  WADDLING truly wasn’t a good look.  she figures maybe if she sits here for a while,  she can call damon to come pick her up  ----  saves walking home with the shopping bags in hand.  she’s grabbing a few dollar bills from her purse when she hears the voice,  and her heart is in her THROAT  ----  eyes almost a little misty,  because all she had wanted to see her little brother.  “  a plate of curly fries,  and a hug would be MUCH appreciated for your big sister.  come here,  let me give you a SQUEEZE.  ”

[gilbertgrief-a]

wrckhvck‌:

ELENA

          there’s  a  part  of  him  that  wants  to  believe  her;  wants  to  acknowledge  that  his  brain  has  jumped  to  the  wrong  conclusion,  that  synapses  have  misfired  and  failed  him.  yet  there’s  a  stubbornness  in  the  set  of  his  jaw,  a  vindictive  need  to  cling  to  perceived  slights  as  the  door  slams  behind  him.  he  doesn’t  know  what  to  believe,  doesn’t  know  what’s  real  anymore.    his  head  rests  against  the  cool  fabric  of  his  steering  wheel,  fire  burning  in  his  eyes.   he  thinks  it’s  the  anger,   doesn’t  reconcile  the  tears  that  sting  and  threaten  to  fall.   he’s  crumbling,  the  weight  of  every  bad  decision,  every  misstep,  finally  dragging  him  under.   he’s  been  treading  water  for  months,  struggling  to  keep  his  head  above  water  but  today  –  today  he  lets  it  suck  him  in,  takes  on  water  until  he’s  struggling  to  breathe.    (  he’s  drowning.  )

      he  doesn’t  regret  the  decision  he  made.    to  be  with  her,  to  marry  her.   or  he  hadn’t,  not  until  that  day  at  the  bar.   that  day  where  every  decision,  every  life-altering  choice  made,  crumbled  around  his  feet  in  redundancy.    there  are  impulses  he  feels  prickling  at  his  consciousness;   his  darkest  desires,  the  masochistic  side  of  himself  that  would  rather  feel  anything  but  this  pain.    this  emptiness.    it  isn’t  a  new  feeling,  this  overwhelming  dread  that  plagues  him.   no,  it’s  always  been  there;   shut  out  when  he  was  a  vampire,  and  then  quieted  by  love  when  the  switch  (  both  literally  and  metaphorically  )  flipped.    only  now  its  volume  is  a  deafening  roar,   so  relentless  that  he  can’t  shut  it  out  anymore.      he  wants  to  scream,  wants  to  yell,  wants  to  break  things  but  his  own  mortality  is  another  reminder;    he’s  a  shell  of  the  man  he  once  was.     all  his  destruction  serves  is  to  remind  him  as  palms  pound  against  the  steering  wheel,  palms  red  and  angry  but  everything  still  in  tact.      (  he  sees  red.  )

        the  door  opens  and  suddenly  elena’s  in  the  car  with  him,  her  eyes  bright  and  fearful.   he  hates  the  look  on  her  face;    like  she’s  scared,  though  whether  it’s  of  him  or  for  him  he  couldn’t  say.     she’s  resolute,  still  as  a  statue,  and  her  words  spark  a  trigger  in  him  that  sees  his  shoulders  freeze.    no,  cars  haven’t  been  kind  to  them.    nor  have  bridges,  or  life  in  itself.    he  wills  himself  to  turn  the  key,   to  leave  her  and  everything  that   H  U  R  T  S   behind,   but  he  knows  he  can’t.     (  he  might  be  angry,  might  be  reckless  with  himself,  but  not  with  her.   never  with  her.   )       “  get  out  of  the  car. ”    it’s  quiet  at  first,  a  whispered  plea.      please  get  out.   please  leave  me  here.   please,  please,  please.    “  dammit  elena,  i  said  GO. ”     the  anger  gets  the  best  of  him  again,  voice  raised  as  his  hand  hits  the  steering  column.   “  get  out  of  the  car.   now. ”    she’s  not  budging,  a  fact  of  which  makes  him  so  angry  he  can’t  even  identify  it.   it’s  like  he’s  outside  of  his  body,  watching  the  scene  and  unable  to  stop  it.    they’re  on  a  collision  course  and  he  can’t  straighten  out  the  wheel;    or  maybe  he  doesn’t  want  to.     maybe  he  ruins  things,  twists  and  bends  until  they  break,  because  at  least  when  they  do  inevitably  break  he  can  say  –   see  ?  i  knew  it.    i  saw  this  coming.    

the fact of the matter was that she’d seen this coming , his spiralling and she’d chosen to ignore it because it was easier . it was easier than admitting what she was so incredibly afraid of .  of admitting what was really HAPPENING .  because the blame was somewhat laid upon her shoulders no matter how much she’d tried to evade it  ----  and she wasn’t able to acknowledge that he was withering away to nothing ,  to a shell of a person .  the person she fell in love with having disappeared and left this person who was barely even surviving let alone living behind .  with this awareness that she’d IGNORED  ,  she was forced to live with the emptiness that plagued her ,  it made a home in her chest and made it feel as though it was caving in .  it made her feel like every single moment she was carrying around a bag of rocks that was so HEAVY that she couldn’t breathe .  that would be the secret ,  the news that she was carrying their baby in her stomach  ----  something she wanted to blurt out ,  that she’d planned to tell him that very night but everything had fallen apart .

 she’s reminded of their conversation all those years ago before she took the cure  ----  where she’d BEGGED him to do it for him ,  not for her .  for him to NOT regret it for a single second .  part of his reasoning had been because HE LOVED HER .  and now ,  as she was falling to her knees ,  him walking out of her and everything’s crumbling to irretrievable pieces at her pieces ,  she’s coming to the realisation that maybe ,  JUST maybe their love wasn’t enough .  he had given his life up for her ,  and she’d just let him .  and in the fall out ,  she’d ruined his life .  part of her wonders if he’d be HAPPIER if she hadn’t come back to life .  the thought itself causes her heart to ache .   ----  she was left with so many questions ,  so many hopes and dreams for them that now wouldn’t be FULFILLED , because her future just walked out the door .  she doesn’t see a life without him ,  all she sees is them .   it’s WHY she’s getting up and following him ,  despite how devastated she is ,  how much her body is desperate to fail her and just crumple to nothing  ----  despite the odds being stacked against her ,  she has to FIGHT .  because that was all he’d done for her ,  for the past ten years ,  even long before that .  and she HAD to do the same ,  to show him just how much she loved him  ----  right down to her very core ,  to her bones ,  because her love for him was everything ,  the strongest thing she’d ever felt .  the reaction she’d received from him  ,  all of it was CLASSIC damon ,  only this is a lot more intense than when he was a vampire .  (  somehow ,  but that pesky humanity .  )  she knew he was hitting the wall full force ,  that he was self destructing and she couldn’t do anything but SHOW him she was there ,  that she hadn’t done anything to cause him to lose faith in her ,  in their relationship .  that she hadn’t chosen stefan over him again like she had on the road to her death so many years ago ,  because the only person she loved was him .  and she didn’t KNOW where the accusations came from ,  but she had to prove to him .  and it’s why she’s being reckless .  call it a hunch ,  but she knows him  ----  she knows that getting in the car is bad ,  but he WON’T hurt her . 

doe like hues are wide with worry as she slips into the car beside him ,  unrelenting desperation upon her features .  she’s silently pleading for him to listen ,  to stop  ----  to not throw his life away ,  not when she needed him ,  when their BABY needed him .  she’s ignoring his demands for her to get out ,  even going so far as to pull her seat belt on and across her body .  it’s a mirror image of all those years ago when they were both vampires and they drove into the grill together .  his hands upon the steering wheel cause her to jump ,  fright flooding through her body  ----  not of him ,  but of how humanity had caused such a drastic undoing within him .  how it had PLAGUED him and she knows maybe part of her will never forgive herself for letting him do this .  she’s defiant ,  stubborn ----  and she isn’t moving .  that much is clear from her features .  “  i’m ALL in damon ,  i told you this before ,  if you’re going to do this and drive , then i’m right there with you .  ”  she comments ,  hand is reaching shakily over to rest upon his on the steering wheel ,  ignoring that her hand was still cut ,  the pain was the last thing on her mind .  “  i don’t know WHERE you got the idea from that i was with stefan , but i wasn’t  ----  damon ,  you’re everything to me and more , surely you KNOW this by now .  ”  she’s begging him to understand and listen to her ,  to believe her .  because she didn’t want stefan , she hadn’t loved stefan the way he believed in decades . he couldn’t be f u r t h e r from the truth .  “ please baby . . . don’t do this .  i’m SAT here because i love you ,  i’m sat here begging you ,  don’t do this to me ,  to us -----  don’t DO this to OUR BABY .  ”  she’s pleading ,  the last part of what she’s saying is stressed ,  chocolates trained on him ,  features serious  ,  proving that she’s telling the complete and utter truth .  “  that’s what i’ve been keeping a secret ,  that’s what me and stefan have been whispering about because he heard the heartbeat  ----  i’m pregnant damon and IN CASE you want to accuse me some more ,  it’s yours .  ”

[gilbertgrief-a]

the events that had unfolded recently had been the BIGGEST headache ,  her world had felt like it was torn apart , turning on its head  ----  once AGAIN making her it’s personal joke .  fate had been cruel so many times before , and she’d experienced it lately . when it almost ruined her relationship with damon . when she’d almost had to contemplate bringing a child into the world alone . she’d wanted to stay indoors , shut herself off from the world and just spend the rest of her pregnancy in peace , away from danger , from other doppelgangers ruining her life , because at least at HOME they couldn’t get in . but that was no way to live , and so it’s why she’s finally letting herself leave the house  ---- venturing into town to get some vitamins , and chocolate spread , something she was CRAVING that she wishes she wasn’t . heartburn was a bitch !  it’s when she’s coming out of the store that she sees the figure ,  that she does a double take and her heart feels like it’s coming to a standstill in her chest ----  because she’d thought he was GONE ,  she’d mourned him ,  she’d had to come to terms that the only person she had left , that she had a family connection with was gone . someone who was her dad now , was DEAD . hand is upon her stomach , a comfort thing she’d picked up , because at least them she can TRY and calm herself , not let herself get to stressed ----- and she’s reminded that she isn’t alone . swallowing hard , she’s walking behind him , doe like hues welling up with tears as she finally lets herself speak , though it’s quiet . she knows he’d hear it though . “  ric ?  is ----  is that REALLY you ?  ”  she doesn’t want to get her hopes up , maybe it was baby brain , maybe she’s imagining something she wants so much . maybe she’s NOT that lucky . but by god does she hope she’s right . {  @drsaltzman​  }

[gilbertgrief-a]

heavenswar‌:

the descent was rough. the angels before her, who have left heaven and set foot on earth, never told her it would be like this. like feeling your every bone ( or rather the vessel’s ) on fire. she didn’t daintily touch upon this city ;  she properly crashed, her very own grace and powers now flickering in and out in an attempt to restore themselves. she slides out of the confinement of an alleyway  —  ragged, disheveled, like the vessel is crumbling beneath her ( why would she? she’s just a normal angel ). like something is WRONG. “ is this san francisco? ” a query posed to the nearest person, as her eyes struggle to adjust to all the buzz and noise around her.

it wasn’t EVERYDAY someone came stumbling out of an alleyway looking like they’d been dragged backwards through a hedge .  it’s not expected and so when she’s coming toward her , elena almost screeches ,  doe like hues wild with both a fright and shock so unrelenting  ----  she feels her heart thudding in her chest ,  smacking against her ribs so hard that it’s knocked the wind out of her .  it takes her a second to calm down ,  hand moving to cup her stomach , protectively as she nods . gaze scans over the girl , checking for any other indication that she could be a DANGER , you could never be too careful . but she just looks like she’s hurt . and the compassionate nature within elena comes through ten fold .  she pushes her fright aside ,  stepping forward ,  small but kind smile on her lips . “  are you OKAY  ?  do you need some help ?  ”

[gilbertgrief-a]

ofreapings‌:

         “since when do books BITE people?” 

“ that’s KIND of alarming  ----  it’s a regular occurrence in a jk rowling book , but real life  ?? that’s definitely a FIRST . i’d steer clear of it .  ” 

[gilbertgrief-a]

wrckhvck‌:

     he’s  never  felt  more  like  strangers  than  in  this  moment,  not  even  the  shattering  of  the  wine  bottle  against  their  dining  room  floor  rousing  him  from  the  black  hole  of  despair  he’s  been  sucked  into.   it’s  always  been  easy  for  him  to  choose  anger,  rather  than  upset,  as  a  way  to  protect  himself  from  the  brunt  of  his  own  pain.   he  clings  to  it  like  an  old  friend,  let’s  it fuel  the  flames  of  his  own  beliefs.   if  he  was  in  his  right  mind,  if  he  was  thinking  clearly,  he’d  remember  that  this  town  is  bountiful  when  it  comes  to  women  who  share  his  wife’s  face.   he  knows  this,  he  does,  but  in  his  inebriated  state  he  was  equally  as  convinced  that  it  was  her.    so  every  comment  she  makes,  every  flicker  of  pain  and   H U R T   in  her  eyes,   he  takes  it  and  twists  it  to  use  as  a  weapon  against  her.    

    as  angry  as  he  is,  he  also  feels  foolish.   he waited  for  her  for  years,  hoped  and  prayed  that  they’d  somehow  get  a  second  chance,  only  to  see  it  go  up  and  flame  before  his  very  eyes.    he’s  never  believed  in  karma  until  now;   maybe  some  sins,  some  atrocities,  can  never  truly  be  forgiven.   he’d  thought  this  was  his  heaven  but  now  he’s  certain  —  it’s  his  hell.

     “  that  would  be  easier  for  you,  wouldn’t  it  ?    if  there  was  a  redo  button  and  we could  just  undo  everything  ? ”    his  words  are  bitter,  spit  with  difficulty  past  the  lump  in  his  throat.   “  you  feel  guilty  because  you  ruined  my  life. ”      again,  it’s  said  with  anger,  but  there’s  hurt  that  bleeds  through.    hurt  that  he  wasn’t  enough,  that  in  the  end  he  was  still  always  the  afterthought.   “   whatever.   NOT  MY  PROBLEM. ”   it’s  dismissive,  pointfully  so.   “  i  saw  you  with  him,  elena.  i  saw  you. ”    he  slams  his  hands  down  on  the  countertop,  the  contents  rattling  from  the  force.   “  you  had  your  legs  wrapped  around  my  brother  and  somehow  i’m  the  bad  guy  in  this   ?    of  course  i  am,  i’m  always  the  bad  guy.   big  bad  damon  does  it  again. ”     he’s  laughing  now,  bitter  laughter  billowing  up  and  spilling  past  soured  lips.    “  you  know  what  ?  you’re  right.   you  shouldn’t  have. ”     his  gaze  is  cold,  hands  shaking  as  he  reaches  for  his  keys.   “  keep  the  house;  sell  it,  burn  it  —  i  don’t  care.   i’ll  go. ”      he  storms  past  her,    doesn’t  let  his  gaze  rest  on  those  doe  eyes  for  even  a  second.   he  can’t  watch  her  expression  as  he  leaves,  can’t  let  this  moment  replay  over  and  over  in  his  head  for  whatever’s  left  of  his  pathetic  human  life.    “  have  a  nice  life. ”        the  door  slams  behind  him.    the  echo  haunts  him  the  entire  walk  to  the  car,    keys  shoved  into  the  ignition  as  he  pounds  his  fists  against  the  steering  wheel.  “  FUCK. ”

this was such a deviation from what she’d pictured when she saw their future  ,  lips she’d pictured kissing always  ,  now spitting hate at her like she was the worst person in the entire world  .  gorgeous beautiful blues she’d adored since before she could even remember  ----  maybe before she’d even admitted her feelings to HERSELF  .  it’s taking everything inside her to hold it all together  ,  to stop the parts of her that were separating from collapsing in on themselves completely  .  she’s not sure she’d survive that  ,  she’d lose herself and she had others to think about now  .  a BABY that would be depending on her  .  and the prospect of it  ,  of being all that baby had terrified her so much that she wasn’t sure even she  ,  the most compassionate as one original brother had put it COULD manage it  .  who’s to say fate wouldn’t write it’s w r o n g in letting her live at one point  ?  her heart is shattering  ,  a heart that was always so heavy with a grief so inescapable  ,  a heart that had been hurt so many times she’d lost count  ,  the SAME heart that he’d mended with his love  .  now  ,  without him  -----  what did she have  ?  she’s not sure what to believe  ,  why he’s hitting out at her like this  .  was there some truth to the matter  ,  had he seen someone with stefan  ,  thinking it was her  ?  was it some delusion created from the toxic alcohol he’d been poisoning himself with  ?  all she knew was that ,  despite knowing what he was like  ,  this wasn’t him  ----  not the PERSON she loved  .  not the one who’d saved her every possible time he could  .  she’d loved before  ,  but it was nothing compared to how she felt about him  ----  it was the most FIERCEST love she’d ever felt  ,  consuming her and taking her hostage  .  living inside her  ,  right down to her bones  .  every part of her SOUL loved damon salvatore  .  a soul that had been so sure they’d be together forever  ,  now everything she knew was obliterated  .  

there’s a part of her that’s scared of him  ----  the unpredictability of how he’s acting  ,  deep down she knows he wouldn’t hurt her  ,  but she hated seeing him like this  ,  a shell of a person she THOUGHT she knew  .  she can’t help but believe he’d be happier if she wasn’t here  ,  if she hadn’t been here to mess up his life and his words confirming it only lead to more tears falling and cascading down her olive toned cheeks  .  a lump is painfully lodging itself at the back of her throat  .  no matter how MUCH she’s swallowing  ,  it’s not disappearing  .  like this situation  ,  it’s causing her to suffer  .  she knows why fate’s brought her back now  ,  for the humour  ,  to cause her to endure more pain LIVING rather than the continuous deaths she’d had  .  a puppet  .  and the nausea that’s building only makes her head spin more  .  

the tone of his voice  ,  the coldness in his eyes  ,  it’s causing her skin to crawl  ----  she’s edging back ever so slightly  .  just to try and calm the quake of panic within her bones  ,  she’s trying to MAKE sure she’s not scared  ,  but it’s not even worth trying  .  the alcohol had turned him into a monster  .  only this time it’s more haunting  ,  worse than him being a vampire  .  BECAUSE now he was disappearing before her very eyes  .  the man she’d loved for so long  .  who she’d come back to LIFE and searched out first  .  who she’d walk through fire for  .  “  . . . okay  ,  okay i RUINED your life but i WARNED you  ,  i told YOU not to take the cure  ,  that you’d resent me for this !  ”  she’s spitting back at him  ,  she too is focusing on the fire  ,  the anger that’s consuming her like he once had  .  it’s easier to try and keep herself together  .  to not let him RUIN her like she apparently had ruined him  .  only what she t h o u g h t this was about was something completely different  ,  and him thinking she was with stefan infuriates her more but she’s not able to say anything  ,  not when his hand crashes into the counter and causes a screech of fear to echo from her lips  ,  doe like hues widening and glancing up at him  .  she’s looking at him like he’s a GHOST  .  words she’d once said to stefan circling her head .  (  I WON’T LOVE A GHOST ! )  she’s stepping back  ,  again  .  for the safety of the baby  ----  maybe part of her doesn’t care what happens to herself anymore  ,  she’d already lost him for reasons out of her control because he’s deeming her guilty without listening  .  he’d SENTENCED her to death  . 

 “  i HAVEN’T done anything !  ”  voice is filled with desperation  ,  she’s begging  ,  pleading with her eyes trained on his  .  “  i haven’t slept with stefan  ,  there are three OTHER females in this town WITH my face  ,  or did you forget THIS when you were too busy drowning yourself in alcohol to pay attention and spend TIME with your wife  ?  ”  she’s shouting now  ,  throat aching from the strain  ,  hurt within her features  .  she’d missed him so much  ,  nights spend with an empty bed  ,  clutching a pillow  ----  wearing his shirt just for the scent of him  ,  and some comfort  .  all the while pretending everything was okay  .  his next words knock the wind out of her and a broken sob leaves her lips  ,  because never once had he wished that  ,  or even so much as entertained the idea  .  “  well  ,  hopefully fate will sort it for you  .  MAYBE i should have slept with stefan  ,  at least it would make sense when you’re hardly ever fucking here  ,  you’ve not touched me in so long !  it’s like i was ALONE anyway .  ”  she’s regretting the words instantly ,  and watching helplessly as he’s beginning to leave the room  .  she’s losing him and it’s hitting her full force  ,  a grief that she can’t RUN away from  ,  or put off feeling  .  no  ,  this is instant  ,  an emptiness that had made her feel like she was breathing in toxic waste  ,  difficult and unending  .  “  damon  -----  damon PLEASE  .  ”  she’s collapsing to her knees  ,  ignoring the burn of the glass pressing to her hands as she does so  -----  a cut is the LAST thing that she cares about  ,  sobs wracking through her body as the door slams behind him  .  she’s sat there for a moment  ,  letting her body shake as she finally crumbles  ,  before she’s standing up  .  NO  ,  this isn’t going to end this way  !   and she’s rushing after him  ,  ignoring that her hands are bleeding  ,  ignoring that this was a BAD decision  .  stepping outside  ,  her stomach sinks  ----  he’s IN the car  .  things with cars never ended well for her  ,  let alone THEM  .  and before she can think  ,  before she can talk herself out of it  ----  or think too much  .  she’s opening the door and getting in behind him  ,  shutting the door as she sinks into the seat  .  “  if you’re GOING anywhere  ,  you’ll have to take me with you  .  the LAST time one of us got into a car ALONE , they didn’t come back . don’t make that happen again damon  ,  please  .  ”

[haverfords-blog]

[gilbertgrief-a]

wrckhvck‌:

        IT  ISN’T  UNUSUAL  FOR  HIM  TO  COME  HOME  LATE.    between  overseeing  renovations  at  the  bar,  and  fighting  with  contractors,  or  lawyers,  he’s  stretched  himself  thin.  coming  home  and  crawling  into  bed  when  elena’s  already  tucked  inside,  dreaming  away,  isn’t  an  irregularity.   in  fact,  you  could  say  it’s  their  new  normal.   (  these  are  excuses,  of  which  he’s  made  a  lot  of  lately.  )    yet  no  matter  how  late  he  comes  home,  or  how  many  suppers  he’s  missed,  he’s  always  come  home.   always,  until  last  night.  until  his  whole  world’s  been  ripped  to  shreds,  any  chance  at  redemption,  at  a  happy  ending,  pulled  like  a  rug  out  from  underneath  of  him.   what’s  worse  is  that  he  saw  it  coming;   the  writing  was  on  the  wall,  he  just  hadn’t  wanted  to  accept  it.     it’s  stefan,  it’ll  always  be  stefan.   she’d  said  it  so  many  times,  in  so  many  ways,  and  he’d  always   B E L I E V E D   there  was  a  chance  things  could  change  —  that  the  universe,  that  fate,  had  gotten  it  wrong  and  they’d  been  given  another  chance;   a  redo.   (  he  should  have  known  better,  should  have  prepared  for  the  worst.  )       the  events  of  the  last  24  hours  feel  like  a  dream,  like  maybe  he  imagined  it  in  his  mind,  but  the  smashed  glasses  and  the  hole  punched  in  the  wall  remind  him.   it  was  real.   he  saw  it  with  his  own  two  eyes.   (  his  wife,  his  brother;   together,  like  the  universe  willed.  )    his  eyes  are  red-rimmed,  phone  dead  in  his  pocket.   he’s  in  no  hurry  to  get  home,  desperate  to  delay  the  inevitable.   (  he  buries  his  hand  in  the  sand,  takes  another  drink.  )   by  the  time  he  gets  home,  it’s  dark  in  their  house.   it’s  fitting,  he  thinks;   it  feels  as  unwelcoming,  as  empty,  as  he  does.    so  he  braces  for  the  inevitable,  sinks  down  into  the  couch  cushions  and  turns  the  tv  on  for  some  white  noise.   he  toasts  to  endings,  to  regrets  and  mistakes,  and  waits  for  his  life  to  splinter.

         (  he  passes  out  at  some  point.   he  doesn’t  wake  until  the  door  slams,  her  disappointed  hues  the  first  thing  he  sees  when  his  flutter  open.  )

“  —  stood  you  up  ?  ”      he  blinks,  confused  before  the  anger  seeps  back  in.    in  all  of  the  chaos,  he’d  forgotten  about  the  dinner;   the  one  where  she’d  likely  planned  on  telling   him  she  wanted  an  out.   that  she’d  picked  the  wrong  brother.    “  right,  dinner. ”   he  snorts,  moves  to  stand  and  stumbles.    the  coffee  table  steadies  him  as  bitter  laughter  spills.    “  you  wanted  to  talk. ”    her  comments  should  cut,  should  leave  some  kind  of  impact  on  him,  but  he’s  beyond  it.    he’s  angry  but  he’s  resigned.   (  he  doesn’t  know  how  to  balance  the  two.  )    “  you’ve  got  some  nerve,  getting  on  my  case  about  this  after  what  you  did. ”  he  can’t  even  say  the  words,  can’t  spit  them  out  no  matter  how  angry  he  is.   he  simply  pictures  her,   legs  wrapped  around  his  brother;   lips  that  used  to  brush  his  lingering  on  stefan’s  neck.    (  he’s  bleeding  out.   he  can’t  stop  it,  isn’t  even  sure  he  wants  to.  )      “  i  should  have  known  better.  there  were  signs  —  there  were  so  many.   you  even  said  so  yourself,  but  i  was   N A I V E  enough  to  think  things  had  changed. ”    that  she  had,   that  they  both  had  in  ways  that  made  them  perfect  for  each  other.      “  it’s  always  been  stefan. ”   he’s  throwing  her  own  words  back  at  her,  acidic  in  his  mouth  as  his  smile  twists.   he  should  have  suspected  something  when  stefan  pushed  him  away;    needed  to  hate  him,  but  clung  to  elena  like  a  lifeline.    (  he  should  have  known  )     “  it’ll  always  be  stefan. ”    he  can’t  get  it  out  of  his  head;   the  way  stefan’s  face  turned  towards  him  –  STRICKEN,   and  how  elena  had  said  she  could  explain.      no,  no,  he  didn’t  want  to  hear  it  then,  and  he  doesn’t  want  to  hear  it  now.    “  now  that  he’s  back,  it’s  no  wonder  you  decided  you  were  tired  of  SETTLING  for  the  consolation  prize. ”    

any and all sadness that fills her almost fully dies  ,  a direct result of the anger he hurtles her way  -----  she isn’t sure why  ,  or what it’s in aid of ,  and it almost stumps her  .  she’s taken by surprise and for a moment she’s stuck in her position  .  not able to even contemplate how to reply  .  she’s forgetting that she just sat at a dinner table  ,  waiting for him to show up and how she’d been so buzzing with excitement  .  the THRILL of a secret that she couldn’t wait to spill to him  ,  all she’d wanted  ,  all they’d wanted  -----  or SO SHE THOUGHT  ,  was a family  .  but her worry had been right ,  because he wasn’t ready  ,  and now it was hitting her like a steam train  .  cascading a pain unlike any other throughout her entire body  ,  it’s fierce and it leads to her feeling sick  .  and as she’s looking at him  ,  she doesn’t recognise him  ----  she doesn’t know who this man is  ,  while she’d fallen in love with damon  ,  with every part of him  ,  this wasn’t a part of him that she wanted ,  or welcomed  .  THIS WASN’T A MAN SHE WANTED TO RAISE A BABY WITH  .  not unless he changed  .  she couldn’t subject a child to that  ,  to a toxic environment of watching their dad kill himself every single day  .  normally her soul in it’s entirety was in tune with him and loved him  ,  but this part of him made her feel wrong  ,  like every atom inside her was separating  ,  excruciating  .  and who does she blame for it all  ?  herself  .  for not seeing how this life would make him miserable  ,  for trusting that they could be happy  ,  and that it would come without complications  .  she’d spent weeks trying to keep going  ,  to deny the truth  ,  when it was so clear  ----  she’d just been so fucking stupid  .  and now keeping herself from falling apart was proving to be a test  .  because she loved him so much  ,  with every single part of her  ,  but at this present moment  ,  he couldn’t have made her feel MORE sick  .  he was mad at her and she didn’t know why  ,  or whether it was because he resented her for this choice  .  in all honesty  ,  elena didn’t feel she knew anything for sure anymore  .  only that the way he was looking at her  ,  it had never felt so WRONG  .

as he’s standing  ----  and the words are hurtled at her  ,  it’s like a slap in the face and she can’t help but flinch back from him  ,  she can’t HELP the tears filling her doe like hues  .  this wasn’t how she’d pictured the night going  ,  not with the incredible joy she’d felt about the baby growing within her  .  she’d imagined tears  ,  but ones shared together with happiness  ,  she’d imagined ENDING the night in his arms  ,  whispering i love you’s  ----  with his hands upon her stomach  ,  with her knowing that this  ,  him taking the cure was the right choice  .  but now  ,  seeing the fire in his eyes  ,  the spitting of words like acid  ,  it wasn’t W R O N G . maybe fate was right  .  MAYBE her still being dead and him a vampire was what should have happened .  maybe he’d be happier then .  “  what  ?  after what i DID ?  ”  she’s murmuring  ,  voice shaky  ,  trying to make sense of it all in her clouded mind  .  trying to understand the hate he was throwing her way  .  and then she hears it  ----  the words that had PLAGUED her life and she would understand it  ,  if it was over ten years ago  ,  and she was still in love with his brother  .  but she wasn’t  .  stefan had been a help lately  ,  they’d been close  ----  he’d been the first to know about the baby  ,  thanks to his heightened hearing  .  but there was nothing sinister in it at all  ,  just her keeping the secret between them until she’s S U R E she can tell damon and he won’t fly off the handle  .  god  ,  she regretted saying those words !  she could see it now  ,  a single mother  ,  bringing up a baby alone and him drinking himself to death  ----  fate would have right good laugh  .  “  are you  ----  are you fucking kidding me  ?  ”  she’s biting down hard  ,  words spat through clenched teeth  ----  eyes ablaze with the petrova fire she very rarely showed  ,  through the tears that had began their descent down her cheeks  .  she’s huffing out of frustration and picking up the bottle of wine that he has beside him  ,  still has some alcohol left in it and she’s throwing it  -----  shuddering as it shatters  .  it’s only DONE because she wants him to hurt like he’s hurting her now  .  she doesn’t know what she’s done  ,  or why he’s angry  .  but it’s like he’s suggesting she still wanted his brother  .    “  CONSOLATION PRIZE  ?  damon  ,  i don’t have a clue what you’re talking about  ,  i haven’t  ----  i don’t feel anything for stefan other than a love of a friendship  ,  and i haven’t for over ten years  .  do you know how seriously paranoid you sound right now  ?  i’ve WAITED for you all night for you to spit this bullshit at me  .  ”  she’s pausing  ,  hand itching to rest upon her bump but she thinks better of it  ,  doesn’t want to tell him  ----  not in this state  .  inside her everything is shattering and she’s trying to keep herself calm  ,  to halt the panic that was beginning to bubble wildly  .  to keep from losing herself in the chaos  .  “  you shouldn’t have taken the cure  ,  because this life isn’t WHAT you wanted  .  not with how you’d rather spend your time drinking than spending it with your wife  .  i shouldn’t have come back to THIS  .  ”   

[gilbertgrief-a]

aregentsruin‌:

the scent of blood is one he’s all too FAMILIAR with. pair with some enhancements granted by the power of his werewolf prowess and you’ve got yourself a hybrid with quite the sensitive nose  —-   and a definite claim to know everything happening at all times. “ and with this fateful encounter, it appears we circle back to the oldest game in the world. which insatiable doppelganger are we converging with today? ” he emerges from behind her, whoever HER is. obviously, his bets are with ( good old ) katerina, but he’s all too aware of the existence of ANOTHER one bearing the same face ;  outside of the trio he’s aware of already, of course.

there’s a groan of annoyance as she hears the footsteps  ,  and the thought of someone intruding on her meal makes her angry  ,  positively venomous  ----  and she’s almost ready to fight  ,  like a predator defending it’s food from others  .  and so she’s pulling back  ,  hand listing to wipe the blood dripping from the corner of her lips and bringing it to her mouth  .  CAN’T waste a single drop  .  not when she’s positively parched  .  at his words  ,  there’s an eyebrow quirking  ,  a curiosity  .  she didn’t recognise him  -----  but he SEEMED to know her  .  “  i don’t have the faintest clue what you’re talking about  ,  or WHO you are  ,  but i don’t really enjoy intrusion  ,  unless you want to share and MAKE this a party -----  but if not  ,  i’d appreciate it if you left  .  ”  smirk almost parading on her lips  ,  she had to give it to the man  ----  he was attractive even if he was rude enough to interrupt her meal  .  

[gilbertgrief-a]

scgecdvice‌:

          the  paranoia  seeps  into  her  bones,  leaves  her  thrumming  as  she  digs  into  her  purse.   the  footsteps  behind  her  seem  thunderous,  echoing  on  beat  with  her  heart-rate  as  she  wraps  her  hand  around  the  taser  she  carries  for  protection.   “  stay  back. ”    she  turns,  taser  extended  before  her  as  wide  eyes  reflect  the  madness  swirling  within  her.   “  i  won’t  hesitate. ”

the only reason she’d approached the blonde was to see if she was okay  ,  and the reaction has her drawing back in fear  -----  hands raising in a surrender while doe like browns are widened  .  she feels the terror seeping into her very bones and she’s gulping  .  “  no  ----  no i don’t mean you any harm  ,  PLEASE  . ”  eyebrows furrow as they scan to the taser and back to the female and mostly  ,  at the forefront of her mind  ,  and worry is her baby  .  “  look  ,  please  .  i’ll leave you alone  ,  just  ----  just don’t use that  .  i’m PREGNANT  .  ”  she’s nodding and gesturing with raised arms to her stomach  ,  that’s more prominent now  .  hoping that she’s listened to  .  

[gilbertgrief-a]

graysiphon‌:

             everything is unfamiliar.  he’s definitely not in kansas any more.  but gray doesn’t understand how or why he can’t step foot over the city limits. he’s on alert, anxiety riding high, as he approaches the very first person he sees, potentially looking mildly …  crazed.    “ hey – hey ! ”  a glance is thrown towards what seems to be some kind of… invisible barrier, before finding the stranger once more.  “ you—-     you got any idea what the hell’s going on here? ”

the only reason she’d left the house was to pop to a check up at the hospital  ,  she’d been experiencing some pains within her stomach  ,  but everything was fine according to the midwife  ----  IN FACT it was like nothing was even causing it  ,  like they were phantom pains and she found herself a little stuck as to what was going on  .  she’d decided to walk back to the house  ,  she needed some of the fresh air  ,  and so she notices the male at the exit from town  ----  and her heart aches for him  ,  for the confusion lurking within his features  .  nothing like figuring out your trapped in a town that had an unpredictability to it  .  “  -----  if you’re trying to leave  ,  then it’s a waste of your time  .  there’s a barrier stopping anyone supernatural leaving the town  .  it’s easier to settle in and make the best of it  .  ”

[gilbertgrief-a]

things had taken a sharp turn,  maybe she didn’t expect to be in a different location when she left a bar she’d been drinking at  ----  one minute she was in chicago and the next,  somewhere unrecognisable.  but she’s got too much else on her mind to care,  probably some fucking magic screwing things up.  she’d come across witches before,  not often,  thankfully.  they had their uses.  no,  instead she has something much more appetising on her mind,  she had to taste the bouquet the town had on tap,  and that was why she held the person before her in a vice like grip,  not a single CARE in the entire world.  “  now you,  you’re going to help quench the thirst that this shitty little night has left me with,  with ANY luck, you’ll be just as delicious as i hope.  don’t scream.  ”  she compels,  the smirk that’s laid on her features curls back,  fangs protruding as a growl leaves her throat and she darts forward to plunge fangs into their neck.  she never WANTED this life,  but she wasn’t in a position to even be bothered anymore,  as someone without emotions, it was perfect.

[gilbertgrief-a]

APX: TASK #9:

Create your AU!Muse–

Name: Elena Gilbert Age: 18 ( eternally 39. )  Choice changed in the universe:  elena never met stefan or damon, and the accident with her family never happened and so her parents lived. this should mean that she avoided a lot of the trauma, which originally she did  ----  she also stayed in a loveless relationship with matt,  she played it safe, and while she did love him,  deep down it was never the epic love that she’d have experienced with damon.  they got married, moved in together and she was happy  ----  as happy as could be given the circumstances,  but things changed the day she found her dads lab.  curiosity got the better of her,  and it ended in a mess that she still hasn’t dealt with today. her father decided that he needed a human subject, and elena was used, against her will. it was the first time she’d learned about the supernatural, and it was completely new and frightening to her.  How the choice changed your muse’s life: grayson, being involved with augustine decided to test the properties of vampire blood on a human, and elena spent the majority of the time healing and re-healing until one day it went wrong and she died with vampire blood in her system. her father had, had a vampire compel matt into believing that she was simply out of town for months,  and her whole family believed it.  the vampire was someone she’d seen a lot of within the lab, whitmore was a place that became her prison. it was when she came around that she was hit with an indescribable hunger, it was unlike anything she’d ever felt and it took her by complete surprise. she was inexperienced, she didn’t have any control, and she was in a frenzy. she killed her dad, and then a long line of others,  consumed by a thirst so volatile and unending. in the bodies she dropped, her family were a few,  her mother, jeremy and matt included.  after it happened, with blood stained lips she found herself distraught with what she’d done and she flipped the switch, not entirely knowing what it was. but just like that, she lost her humanity, her compassion, and became someone she’d never wanted to be  -----  someone a different version of herself would have feared. she became a monster.   What’s your AU!muse up to nowadays:  despite it being years, elena still hasn’t flipped the switch back on, instead she moves around a lot, spends time feeding on people  -----  sometimes snatching and erasing, and other times draining them dry, she has never settled down, and she’s never gone home to mystic falls  ----  she can’t face it.  not knowing what she did, even if she doesn’t care. she heard about the mess she left behind, it was all over the papers, and she’s still reported as missing. so the towns she does go into, she tries to compel everyone to keep her self in the clear. to keep people from finding her, or from suspicions. her life went tragically down the drain, she may have avoided a car accident, but she still experienced trauma, and loss, only it’s at her own hand. 

[scullys]

a damaged soul does not equal a weak one // k.s.

[dailyelena]

— and you know heroes make the best legends // k.s.