āNo! My only weakness! Dying!ā
āThat doesnāt count, right?ā
āDo you have any friends? Real ones?ā
āOops, that happens sometimes.ā
āIām a squirmy little fella.ā
āI like food, I like love, just let me write about it!ā
āOh, he gets so cute when heās thirsty for power.ā
āIāve never actually broken any of your stupid laws⦠in front of you.ā
āI hate everything youāre saying right now.ā
āWeād be the strongest power couple ever.ā
āSelf-doubt is a prison you can never escape from.ā
āAnyways, letās bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.ā
āI am not your cutie pie!ā
āNo one wants an un-oiled snake.ā
āRemember, never befriend a man in sandals and always measure twice, cut once.ā
āBe back by nightfall or risk mortal peril!ā
āI know Iāve had enough delight for one day.ā
āSorry to break it to you, ___, but no one here is that well-dressed.ā
āThis has been a rough day.ā
āBig houses always belong to big whack jobs.ā
āToday just got good.ā
āWizards are just old people with glitter in their pockets.ā
āAnyways, your food is gone and we are too.ā
āNever trust a man in casual drapery.ā
āAll that mean-spirited laughter made me sleepy.ā
āI donāt like this. I really donāt like this.ā
āAll your food was so tiny and cute.ā
āIf you can think of a better plan Iād love to hear it.ā
āBetrayed by my own cool accessories.ā
āI didnāt have to be part of this!ā
āI⦠donāt like this.ā
āI think Iāll head home and look at pictures of animals that are still⦠alive.ā
āWow, youāre so unnoticeable I almost rolled into you.ā
āItās okay, the thorns only went through a few layers of skin.ā
āAlright, into the darkness you go.ā
āOh my god, I havenāt eaten real food in so long please give me some.ā
āYou canāt just cut open a human, can you?ā
āKeeping junk in my pocket saved my life!ā
āAhh, babyās first wanted poster.ā
āEven demons have inner demons.ā
āThis is my paying attention face.ā
āLook, now weāre boo boo buddies.ā
āItās like a rainbow, but looking at it turns you inside out.ā
āI respect your cunning but I also hate you for it.ā
āOh, gross. Can I keep that?ā
āThis is terrifying, so why do you look so happy?ā
āIām kind of over that nickname, but okay.ā
āOh, what lovely thing do we have here? Itās just so dang shiny, oh my.ā
āAnd look, I drew flip book.ā
āI will literally do anything to stop this.ā
āIf Iām seen, I could go to jail⦠again.ā
āAlright, letās see this mess.ā
āThatās probably fine.ā
āTime to prepare for bloodshed.ā
āWelcome down to my level!ā
āI know I should be repulsed but that look is fierce.ā
āIām gonna steal everything thatās not nailed down!ā
āI was up all night poison tasting and, for some reason, I donāt feel great.ā
āI need an extra pair of eyes looking out for pickpockets. And an extra pair of hands in case I want to pickpocket.ā
āI got leaves in my pants. And I like it.ā
āI was a strange child.ā
āYou think this can stop me? I can still bite your ankles.ā
āIf youāre gonna eat me, just do it now!ā
ā___, youāre getting all swoony again.ā
āRivals are meant to be annihilated, not befriended.ā
āWitches eating babies is so 1693.ā
āI thought we were as cool as cucumbers but weāre as sour as pickles.ā
āWhoa, I almost passed out.ā
āItās been hours, how can it keep screaming!?ā
āSay that again and I steal your tongue.ā
āKeep going, this is fun to watch.ā
āIsnāt that taking it a bit too far?ā
āJust go away before things somehow get worse!ā
āThis never happened.ā
āAnd who doesnāt like their name in lights?ā
āThatās the incorrect reaction!ā
āI smell an easy mark.ā
āItās like demonic possession with the ones you love.ā
āThis is just like my favorite early 2000ās movie!ā
āIām so old⦠and pointy.ā
āIāve got some very confusing emotions right now.ā
āMy lifeās not a joke! But yours is!ā
āNovelty costumes are where I draw the line.ā
āI am not above disrespecting my elders.ā
āThis vacation just took an alarming, back-alley turn.ā
āGeez, I thought Iād like being babied. But I feel small and helpless, like some sort of baby.ā
āHey, take this, society!ā
āI didnāt like her telling me what to do before, but now I love it!ā
āLetās go let out some teen angst!ā
āThis is how the cool kids ride. Super backwards, on purpose.ā
āYour life is pretty terrible. But, hey, itāll probably be over soon.ā
āThis is some of my best work, really captures the shame.ā
āThatās sweet, kid. Now letās never speak of this again.ā
āShow, donāt tell, man.ā
āOh, look what you did. Iām gonna go rub it in.ā
āThat seems like a potential problem to me.ā
āYou being the razzle, Iāll bring the dazzle.ā
āDo you always have confetti on you orā?ā
āYouāre just gonna be unhelpful, huh?ā
āOkay, time to run for no particular reason!ā
āOof, Iāve had this nightmare before.ā
āLike Iād actually apologize.ā
āI want power, and I want drama.ā
āAre you ready to give up?ā
āI was afraid, I acted stupid.ā
āI just wish you told me the truth.ā
āYou know, it didnāt taste as bad as I thought I would.ā
āImpressive, still alive.ā
āThis is a throne worthy of a tyrant!ā
āNo, no, keep those sticky hands away.ā
āNo one wants to see that.ā
āSince when are you into sports?ā
āDonāt spend all night plotting revenge.ā
āOh, this is an interesting development.ā
āIāll take that weird grumble as a yes.ā
āIām feeling confident about this plan.ā
āTrust must be earned.ā
āIf you run, youāll just make it harder for yourself!ā
āYour pride has destroyed you.ā
āI donāt think Iāll ever be clean again.ā
āIf you ever want to search for the truth, Iāll help you.ā
āAww, thatās a horrible lie.ā
āPartake of my free snack samples!ā
āWhy isnāt anyone paying attention to me?ā
āA, eww. B, Iām bored. C, I feel like pickpocketing some dork while they browse.ā
āI know my good angle.ā
āUgh, what are the basement dwellers doing out in natural sunlight?ā
āHey, thereās more to life than shipping.ā
ā___, I know youāre trying to help, but I think youāre crossing a line.ā
āOoh, I love punching.ā
āYouāre ominous, and I like it.ā
āAnd of course you would be here just to be a nuisance.ā
āI wanted to compare sunglasses.ā
āFame can really box you in, you know?ā
āBesides, if anyoneās putting you down itās gonna be me.ā
āIf itās disappointing in any way Iāll spend the rest of my life trashing it.ā
āHe scammed us. Can you believe he scammed us?ā
āGood entrance. But that outfit? Hah!ā
āIāve got a new crush and her name is education!ā
āAhh, fresh garbage.ā
āI have never seen such an extravagant earring.ā
āWow, a surprisingly peaceful domestic moment. When will it be ruined?ā
āWeaponizing my pride, well played.ā
āSorry, whoeverās over there!ā
āWell, go on. Eat the snow.ā
āHuh, itās no fun if they donāt tremble.ā
āOh, okay, alright. Yup, an ideaās happening.ā
āShh! I donāt need your validation!ā
āGet back here before that thing bites you!ā
āNo, weāre gonna die.ā
āCool. I didnāt actually think you could do it.ā
āItās not a secret.ā
āAlright, your adorable banter is literally making me sick.ā
āBelieve it or not, Iāve seen worse.ā
āAww. I wonāt be doing that, but thanks.ā
āQuitting: itās like trying, but easier.ā
āYou humans are filled with liquids, right?ā
āI guess I have always liked pouring things into other things.ā
āTime to scrounge through the trash.ā
āI aināt no desk jockey.ā
āYou donāt know diddly dang about squiddly squat!ā
āI love secret rooms!ā
āYou have an aura of lies.ā
āAlso, you can eat trash.ā
āDo the right thing, you dingus!ā
āIt just goes on like this for an hour.ā
āCarnivals bring crowds and crowds bring suckers.ā
āWeāve got scams to run.ā
āI know poison when I see it.ā
āYou canāt scam a scammer.ā
āYou should really put a lock on your closet.ā
āNow this is my kind of weird.ā
āThatās way safer than becoming blood brothers.ā
āBeat up the man and steal his things for me.ā
āThis mama is ready for trauma.ā
āAll right. Approval!ā
āCurse these stubby legs!ā
āSketchy carnival rides are not to blame this time.ā
ā___, youāre lucky I canāt be mad at your adorable antics.ā
āJust when I thought I couldnāt respect the law any lessā¦ā
āAww, what a supportive sign.ā
āYep, I just counted to one million.ā
āLooks like we ruined his life for a second time.ā
āIāve always wanted to own a jagged piece of cheap metal.ā
āYes! Bread puns, bread puns forever!ā
āNow I know what friendship tastes like.ā
āI think today is a talons day.ā
āItās fun because itās stupid.ā
āIāll admit, I was adorable.ā
āBe careful with my brain.ā
āWouldnāt you rather talk about it?ā
āThatās my motto after all, āOut of sight, out of mind.āā
āNo schemes, no plots, no ruses. None.ā
āI canāt believe I made him cry.ā
āAre you solving a crime or about to commit one?ā
āSadly this is one problem crime canāt solve.ā
āIām supposed to choose someone interesting, accomplished, and noteworthy. People arenāt meant to be all those things!ā
āYup, her brainās burned up real good.ā
āBe still my fantasy-loving heart.ā
āIām pretty good at getting stuck inside peopleās heads.ā
āHey, I found something magical.ā
āIāma put my face in it.ā
āItās like a little doghouse for angels.ā
āIf youāre handing out attention, I deserve it.ā
āI really messed things up.ā
āItās eggs, itās full of eggs.ā
āNo one turns down an interview with someone this pretty.ā
āMe? Avoid? What? No. But letās skip it.ā
āThereās levels to me, kid. Levels I say!ā
āOh, right, I put people in there.ā
āIām gonna hug you so hard youāll never forget me again!ā
āI regret teaching you about the internet.ā
āAh, a severed hand. Perfect response.ā
āHmm, the demon at my shoulder makes a good point.ā
āAlways trust a shoulder demon.ā
āThe more I look at him, the more uncomfortable I get.ā
āMan, youāve got some quick grabbers.ā
āI canāt wait to get overdressed, take awkward photos, push all the buttons!ā
āWeāre gonna turn this bloodbath into a fun bath.ā
āDo you think I could pull off red eyeshadow?ā
āGirl, you could pull off anything.ā
āWeāre style geniuses!ā
āOminous footsteps, creepy woods, this is no problem.ā
āDang, I look great.ā
ā___, you always go overboard and I end up bailing you out.ā
āNow, whatās the fun in watching a kid get eaten by a monster if itās my kid?ā
ā___, I donāt think youāre ready but weāre literally out of time.ā
āWhy so twitchy, witchy?ā
āTeenagers are brutal. Theyāll boo anyone and that kind of public humiliation will stick with you for life.ā
āYou look nice. Strange, but nice.ā
āHonestly, Iām kind of amazed with how fearless you are.ā
āYouāve done things I could never do.ā
āThing is, youāre sitting in my personal chitchat zone, which means you gotta talk.ā
āI am a little weirdo.ā
āCheating a isnāt anything to brag about.ā
āWell, canāt reason with crazy!ā
āIāve been talking for too long.ā
āFeeling sentimental?ā
āI donāt know much about sports but I do know about sports movies.ā
āWhat happens in the montage stays in the montage.ā
āNot everything can be solved with a good attitude and a dope movie soundtrack.ā
āSorry, I just really love backstories.ā
āYou just destroyed your social life.ā
āThatās such a stupid rule!ā
āYouāre not gonna show this to anyone, right?ā
āI havenāt forgotten what you promised me.ā
āAhh, youāre a thorn in my side but you always dig your way into my heart.ā
āJeez, youāre morbid.ā
āAhh, itās a fate much worse than death if you think about it.ā
āPlease donāt make me regret taking you here.ā
āLove me a properly ventilated castle.ā
āI spy with my little eye something coming this way!ā
āIām going away and I donāt know if I can come back this time.ā
āAnd Ā ___, thank you, for being in my life.ā
āI want her back as much as you do.ā
āDonāt look at me like that, this is for your own good.ā
āAh farts, I got caught.ā
āYou understand, donāt you?ā
āPlease tell me thatās not as bad as it sounds.ā
āTo be great, you have to make sacrifices.ā
āAhh, ___, you chose the wrong side.ā
āI like your spirit, but try that again and things wonāt end well for you.ā
āGo on, then. Go be a hero.ā
āI may have lost but so have you.ā
āI can teach you what I know, and what we donāt know we can learn together.ā