i eat men like air

“want me to ask them if they have an aoli?” he asked, looking over his shoulder toward the server, the kitchen. he didn’t mind. it shouldn’t be too hard to whip up, it was just a fancy mayonnaise sauce, wasn’t it? he’d do whatever it took to bring another smile to her lips, to have her enjoying herself that much more.

“if you say so. my ma would have other words for it.” he teased, eyes a sparking pool of blue as he regarded her across the table, taking another bite of the burger he was making quick work of. his bites were absolutely massive. after chewing and swallowing, he popped another onion ring in his mouth and washed it down with a sip of malt, “oh, i guess i got confused.” he said with a lopsided smile. “you’ll have to teach me, educate me.” he liked to learn, especially if it was about pretty girls’ special interests.

she was so pretty, she almost took his breath away. he almost couldn’t believe he was sitting here with her, entertaining her on his own, and she seemed to like him. he had that ugly guy charm, he guessed. he was sincere enough, though, and the ladies seemed to like that. “i’m sure you’ll put on the best show. can i film it?” he teased.

#( thefvrious )#( barbie boyd )

' i mean, if you want.. you're kinda hoping the chef knows what that is, ' she said with a laugh. not everyone was into cooking shows like them, after all. she started in on the second half of her tuna melt, enjoying the tang of the mayonnaise the occasional hit of salt, as well as the melty cheese. this could easily become a favourite sandwich.

' moms love you no matter what, ' she said, with no real idea of the truth of it for herself. her mother was.. something else. ' besides, boys are always kinda messy, no? '

' don't worry, i will, ' she said with a teasing smile, ' you'll be sick to death of cooking shows when we're done. ' she was also going to introduce him to shows like america's test kitchen and julia child. pbs didn't know what was coming. she dipped another french fry in the side of mayo on her plate, looking up at him.

' sure. ' she bit the french fry in half, before dipping it into the mayo again. ' better have lots of memory on your phone, might be a long video, ' she laughed, knowing she'd be nervous on camera, but didn't mind letting him film it. maybe it would buck her up for auditioning for master chef, or something.

he grinned something unfettered when she laughed, his eyes glimmering in her direction. even her laugh was pretty, and that was noteworthy. was there no flaw to this woman? feivel was in awe.

“mm.” he hummed, folding his hands on the table that separated them. “you are real. thanks for letting me call you friend. it goes both ways.” he let that sink in then nodded about hesh. he’d always have hesh. “yeah, he’s pretty great. let’s just say i’d be one lonely mother fucker without him.” it was feivel’s turn to laugh.

he looked over at the waitress with a pleasant smile as she arrived at their table, allowing vesper to take the lead. he nodded, pushing up his sleeves. “sounds great. i believe you. we’ll play it by ear. my appetite might surprise you.” he teased with another wink.

#( thefvrious )#( vesper vale )

' mine might suprise you, ' she countered with a smile, knowing that in their future probably lay a second salmon boat; she hadn't eaten all day, subsisting on iced coffe. and while good for her efficency, it was bad for her stomach.

she didn't know what it was like to have siblings, or hell, even parents. her dad was a ghost before she was born, and with her mother murdered, all she really had was grandparents. grandparents who thought their time of raising children was done, so they didn't really parent her that much. she had been something of a hellion in her youth.

' see? there you go, you have a friend, and your brother. ' there was another soft laugh. ' i'm sure you'll get more friends as you go along. you have the personality for it. ' he was nice. and handsome, and down to earth. who couldn't like that?

landon smiled at her then at guiseppe as the old man got to work. he paced in front of the display, drinking in all of the flavors, making a mental note to bring some of the niblings here. no one was ever too old for gelato.

he thanked avalon when she paid then followed her as she led them into an alley. were he anyone else, he might have been apprehensive or nervous. this was just another thursday.

at the question, his brows rose and he smiled slwoly, shaking his head ‘no’. “hard to be afraid of heights when you spend so much time on balconies and roofs. thanks for lookin’ out, though. want me to take the bag?”

#( thefvrious )#( avalon willoughby )

she grinned, and put the bag between her teeth, shaking her head. a short jump from the ground had her grabbing the bottom of the fire escape, and artfully, like a gymnast, she hauled herself up onto the wrought iron landing, taking the bag from her mouth.

' had to make sure, ' she said from above him, ' knew a thief once who could only handle heights if he was on a job. something about the adrenaline. ' she stepped up a few steps to give him room to pull himself up. once he did, she was heading up to the roof, pulling herself over the ledge.

jorzathar grunted at this, nodding his head. “they deny things or explain them away even when it’s right in front of their faces.” he said, leaning back as she presented him with more food. he thanked her, tearing into it immediately. he had no comment about god.

the demi-god was glad to hear that moder was not suffering for the humans’ ignorance. he nodded his head again, spooning more stew into his mouth, chasing it with the wine from his goblet. “then i am glad he has you, at least.” he said, noting that this might, in its own way, stave off some of namaah’s loneliness.

jorzathar sat up straighter when she spoke, his eyes falling for a moment to the scar her fingers had called attention to before lifting to the black pools of her eyes. “perhaps i can help.” he didn’t like the idea of the creature being trapped.

#( namaah )#( thefvrious )

she tilted her head at him in a feline fashion — a supernatural hunter who would be, on some level, perfectly fine unleashing an ancient demon out into the world? she blinked those bright black eyes at him for a long moment, parsing her words.

' what if you were asked to slaughter him one day? ' it was a question that flowed easily off of the tip of her tongue, a serious one — she knew he had choices, didn't have to hunt everything that someone jostled a bag of coins for, but she wanted to see his real answer.

she tore off a piece of bread and washed it through the remaining butter on the plate; she reminded herself to make more tomorrow after they expelled his demon from this plane.

chad bellowed a laugh when his wife called him a genius. “i think you and my mama are the only two people who’ve ever uttered those words about me, but i’ll take it. i know better than to question a compliment.” his eyes were glimmering with all his affection. he knew how to and wanted to take care of his woman, to treat her right, to spoil her even in the most minute ways. she’d been so disciplined while she was pregnant, she deserved to have a glass of wine with lunch every now and again.

with babies and toddlers, it was easy to go overboard with their little clothes. everything was so much less expensive and they grew so fast. chad wouldn’t be surprised if ryan only wore the same outfit a handful of times before she graduated to something else. her wardrobe was massive, and only growing, and he was okay with that. he pressed a kiss to the back of ryan’s head, distracted by a pair of yellow jelly sandals that would go perfectly with the lemon outfit he’d already chosen. “check these out.” he said, holding them up before nodding. “yeah, canada’s probably good. i don’t think he wears shorts. he’d just be burning up in mexico, and he goes there enough as is. maybe vancouver?”

#( thefvrious )#( leilani king )

' well, we have other names for you too, but those are a secret. ' she was only teasing — audrey and leilani didn't always talk about the boys, mostly about the grandkids and other salacious gossip. she glanced back at the jelly shoes. ' oh, those are perfect. ' she took them from him and put them in the cart. did ryan need all this clothing? probably not. but leilani knew that more kids were in their future, plus she could always pass them on to others in the family if they ever decided to have kids.

she shifted ryan on her shoulder, before pausing to put her in the stroller — she knew a post-breakfast nap was on its way, and ryan didn't fuss as she was laid down, with lani putting her blanket over her and adjusting the hood so the store's lights weren't in her face. continuing to walk, she glanced back at chad. ' vancouver is perfect. we could get him a room at the smithe house, it's beautiful but unpretenious and right in the heart of the city. ' lani had been to canada once in her early twenties, courtesy of a rich married man. ' remind me to look it up tonight when we're home. '

bodhi was in awe of his aunt alessandra. he had always wanted to emulate her because she was so… poised, so perfect, so pretty. she had the best clothes, the best shoes, and the most wicked personality. she knew how to command a room, everyone turning their heads to look when she entered. and he wanted that, had secretly wished she had been his mom (as great as jenna was) from time to time growing up, just to know what it was like.

brock and giselle didn’t really talk like tanner or bodhi or the others, brock’s accent slightly harsher than his sisters, but giselle had come up copying her mom’s walk, talk, attitude. she had been a mini because she wanted to be, and still sat proudly in that role today.

bodhi laughed, “yeah… yeah, i know something about that.” he said, brows raising. he had his own precarious little relationship, not exactly the same as alessa and tanner’s, but in a similar vein. giselle grinned, too, shaking her head. her parents’ relationship was bizarre, but she wouldn’t change it as long as they were happy.

bodhi practically squealed with delight when told he could even stay there by himself, “i’m not really a lone wolf type, but i appreciate it just the same. i can’t wait to see it! do you have any decorators in mind?”

all of giselle's cousins had always been welcome at casa stone then, and now — she had enough room to house all of them, really, and she understood the importance of having a place to go when things felt suffocating, and sometimes that place needed to be farther away than their bedroom. she had been the same way with giselle's friends, no questions asked.

' well, you can bring anyone you trust, ' alessandra said, pulling her hair back into a messy bun with the one hair tie she had around her wrist. ' and yes. i was thinking about betty wasserman, i do love her work but i'm afraid it'll be a little too.. clinical, like that typical rich person minimalism. i'm also thinking of mabley handler, she works with a lot more prints, and the work i've seen of hers makes the house look more lived in. i'm also open to suggestions. '

tanner frowned. he hated that her father had such a hold over her, but he could understand it. she had grown up so differently than him, with a conditional love held over her head. she was always reaching for it, fingers brushing against it but never quite able to catch hold. that’s why he loved her without any single conditions. someone had to. and he did it with his whole heart. “he’s a mother fucker.” he said, lifting his beer bottle, taking another swig of the cool liquid that was rapidly warming from being held in his hands.

he turned his head toward her and listened to her as she explained the problem, rolling his eyes in that exaggerated way because it really was ridiculous. “he’s somethin’ else.” he said, shaking his head, sucking his teeth. he and charles had never gotten along, but that was probably because mr. stockbridge didn’t think tanner stone was good enough for his daughter. as far as status was concerned, that was probably true, but as for content of character? there was no one better.

he lifted his hand, reaching his arm across to rest on her shoulder, working at some of the tension there. “me, too. it’s the best. spending time with you is the best.” he shifted on his chair, set his beer bottle down so both hands were free. “want a massage?”

she laughed at tanner's description of her father, which was apt, and spot-on. nothing ever pleased her father, and certainly nothing she ever did — even her graduation from yale law school had been met with luke warm indifference, as if it meant absolutely shit to him. her mother, at least, had thrown a party, even if it meant inviting everyone she knew, and no one that alessandra knew. it had been okay; she snuck out early to have a pizza party with tanner and his brothers instead, and that had been much more fun.

' i don't even think god coming down to scold him would phase him. he'd probably have something to say to him. '

she melted into his massaging touch, leaning his way as if to indicate that he didn't need to stop. those big, strong, warm hands felt divine, and she felt a lot of stress bleed away from those muscles. ' god, please. ' even if a massage was what led to the birth of their son, she'd take the risk; tanner was good at them.

gettingscrazy

MIKEY MADISON as ANI ANORA (2024) dir. Sean Baker

#( sloane mercer )

“thank god.” giselle replied. she knew how long doordash and ubereats could take, but her mom lived in a good spot, central to a lot of good food places, and she probably had paid the extra couple of bucks to get the order delivered directly to them instead of having their driver pick up multiple orders. it paid to have money. “i’m so hungry, i could eat the whole goat.”

bodhi laughed then and nodded his agreement. “i haven’t eaten all day.” somehow, there was a ‘w’ in that all, his accent one of the heaviest among the family. giselle had worked hard not to sound like that, but the stone side of the family seemed proud of it. “yous two are, like, practically still married. not like my parents.” that had been a messy divorce, the kids were still suffering from it because jenna wouldn’t even speak to garrett.

“a week’s vacation?” he gasped, “look at you, miss fancy.” he looked over at giselle who shrugged her shoulders about the grandparent comment. bodhi and giselle shared one set, whom they rarely saw, but bodhi spent a good chunk of time with his maternal grandparents and felt bad for his cousins for missing out. “oh, shit, in the hamptons? you’re gonna let me come stay, right?” he asked, batting his lashes.

alessandra, with her upper class upbringing, had no accent to speak of, really, and she spoke like most rich kids did — pronunciation, clearly, and with nothing to make them special or otherwise stand out. tanner had taught her how to talk like he did, and she could do it with certain words — like talk, walk, coffee — but for the most part, she spoke like someone who was forced to go to elocution lessons, because she was.

alessandra was practically a socialite; she never sat with her legs open, always crossed and leaning. hands in her lap, back straight. if maryland still had debutante balls, she'd have been in one. thankfully, she was able to spare giselle all of that, and her kids had been allowed to grow up as kids.

' yeah, that's my fault, ' she said of being practically married, ' i didn't want to keep the cake, but i wanted to still be able to eat it too. ' she brushed at her chin. ' we've both gone on dates, but it never works out. ' she laughed. ' of course i will, babe. i'll even let you stay there by yourself. ' she could trust giselle and bodhi to be in the house without issues. brock, however, would have to be under supervision. ' i just need to find a good interior decorator for the place now. '

tanner always shrugged it off when people questioned his strange relationship with his ex-wife. what they had now worked a helluva lot better than what they’d had when they were living together. perhaps co-habitating had been the proverbial straw on the camel’s back? maybe it had been too intense, their love too intense to spend that much time together? either way, he was happy with what they had. happy to be able to spend this time with her.

he didn’t give a shit what anyone said or thought. he was going to keep on this trajectory for as long as it lasted. who knew, maybe they’d wind up married again now that the kids were out of the house? anything could happen.

“a week off, huh? i’ll see what i can make happen for you, princess.” he said, smiling at the goosebumps left in the wake of his hands’ trailing. he hummed to himself, watching them prickle up, rubbing them smooth again. “what’d he do this time?” if it was bad enough, alessa knew tanner would be there to take that murder charge, or help her get rid of the body, whatever she wanted. no questions asked.

“ooh, you’re speakin’ my language now.” they both had a love for antiques, tanner having a whole collection of little niche signs and tchotchkes he’d collected over the years. “i love sleepin’ in and goin’ to that place. can we get breakfast first?”

' he's just being his usual asshole self. ' tanner knew more about her relationship with her parents, more than anyone else. she had confided in him in high school about it, and he had seen it for herself on more than one occasion. charles stockbridge was strict and unforgiving, and he expected the best of his only daughter — the bar seemed to keep moving on her. even at her big age, she was still trying to get him to be proud of her. and she hated herself for that.

' i made the clients happy on a few cases but i didn't do it the way he would have, so of course that means those cases are failures, even though they brought in six figures. ' she rolled her shoulders in an effort to rid the tension. ' same shit. '

glancing back over at him. ' absolutely, babe. i'm always happy to dip toast in over easy eggs. '

“we should get lunch. you could have a glass with it.” he suggested, knowing and appreciating how much she had to give up while she was pregnant. he had been careful about what he consumed in front of her, in case it was something she couldn’t have, and he’d been right there with the sushi boat for when she was cradling ryan and ready for her first post-baby meal. it had been worth it to see that smile on her face.

he grabbed a few more various outfits – some with prints like flowers or fruits and some with characters like bluey and minnie. he put them into a little hand held basket and set that inside the stroller for the time being.

“she’s gonna be cute no matter what she wears.” he said, nodding his head and winking at his baby girl when she looked at him. she smiled bashfully, hiding her face in her mother’s neck. “look at her, playin’ games.” he said, shaking his head. “what about somewhere in mexico? or up in canada? he’d be into either, i think.”

#( thefvrious )#( leilani king )

' oh, you're a genius, ' regarding the wine with lunch. lani was only a social drinker, and barely at that — she preferred juices and sparkling water, sometimes mixed. if chad was drinking, she'd usually sneak a sip or two of his, but the two of them never went overboard, especially with their daughter in the house. and as a first time mom, she had been careful with what she ate and drank; she wasn't so sure she'd be that cautious next time around.

ryan was on course to have more clothing than the two of them combined, and that was saying something when it came to lani. she laughed when ryan blushed and turned her face against her neck, giggling. this was a little girl who loved playing hide and seek with her dad. ' i feel like mexico is done.. i think canada would be cool, and he wouldn't have to wear shorts. ' she's not sure she's ever seen charlie king in shorts. ' plus, there's some great bars and cabins up there. '

“do you think she’d put up with that?” he asked, arching a brow, mirroring her movements as he dipped his onion ring in ketchup too, shoveling it into his mouth. his eyes widened at her suggestion, and he practically moaned at the thought of it. “mm, fuck, a garlic aioli would be perfect.” he said. “we’ll have to suggest it to the chef.”

he grinned when she leaned across the table to wipe his face, feeling a little heat flood his cheeks. “damn. guess i’m messier than i realized.” he commented. “is top chef the one with gordon ramsey?” he asked, there were so many cooking shows anymore, it was easy to get them confused. “i almost always wanna reach through and grab what they’ve cooked. it’s a fuckin’ shame we can’t sample it.” he smiled a little broader. “you’ll just have to recreate it for us.”

dax grinned and nodded his head, taking a bite of his burger that was quickly dwindling. he chewed and swallowed before speaking again, “it’s exactly like that, li’l bird. i’ll do just that. you wait and see. next time we hang out, it’s mystery basket time.”

#( thefvrious )#( barbie boyd )

she purposefully didn't answer his question about her sister; she wanted him all to herself, and was tired of sharing him, even for brief moments in the air between them. ' wouldn't it, though? like, ketchup is great and everything, but sometimes i want something just a smidge fancier than that or ranch. '

' not messy, just hungry, ' she grinned, taking another bite of her tuna melt, half laughing. ' no, gordon ramsay has his own show.. hell's kitchen, kitchen nightmares. ' finishing her bite. ' top chef is a competition show where they pull like, fifteen chefs.. they do a quickfire and the winner gets a perk, and then they do an elimination challenge.. there's themes to everything. '

crunchy bite of onion ring followed, and she met his challenge with a slight lift of her chin, a twinkle in her eye. ' well, i am looking forward to it, stud muffin. i'll do some studying beforehand, so i can give you a good show. '

she was so beautiful, he could stare at her forever. she looked so rightfully in place in this atmosphere, too, it almost took his breath away. all he could do was smile and nod at her, “yeah. it’s fuckin’ amazing. i’m glad you brought me here. thank you. even if the food sucks.” he paused, “i’m sure it doesn’t.”

he was the opposite. he had plenty of work-friends, acquaintances that he could call up or who would wave to him in the street, but nothing really solid. no one he would call in an emergency, no one he considered close enough to help move if he switched apartments – there were services for that. “weird is good.” he said, smiling again, “i, uh… don’t have many friends, no.” he frowned at the realization. “not real ones, anyway.”

he looked down at the menu, too, then back to her, “we should get a lot. i’m really starved. i think i skipped lunch...”

#( thefvrious )#( vesper vale )

the comment about the food sucking made her laugh, though she didn't take it seriously, and took it as the joke it was clearly meant to be. she twisted a ring on her finger and nodded, listening to him as he spoke, really absorbing everything he was saying.

' well, i'm real, ' she said softly, with another smile. ' so you have at least one real friend. and you have your brother. ' she was an only child, but she was always in awe of those who had siblings. having never shared her upbringing with another child, she wondered what it was like.

glancing up as the waitress came, she put her hands flat on the table, braced herself. ' mei, we are starving. can we get one of the salmon lover's boats? ' she glanced over at feivel. ' it's huge. i think we'll be good, but if not, we can order more. '

landon stood in front of the glass case, looking down at all of the beautiful, deliciously colored gelatos. he listened to her explaining the ones she liked and perused the options, tapping his chin as he thought, pacing the cabinet back and forth.

“mm… all sound like excellent options.” he said, taking another moment to decide. “i think I’ll try the cuore matto.” it sounded delicious with it’s raspberry cheesecake and cookie. he turned to her with a smile. “and for the lady?”