look at me when you’re talking to me !

ali | 16 | any prns | d4remurdock on tiktok & twt carrd: https://d4remurdock.carrd.co

[charmac]

The peak of Dennis' fantasy for obtaining control of his body, for obtaining peace of mind, being stealing a man's heart, turning it into a diamond, and consuming it. While Mac, in his fantasy, was trying to pressure cook a diamond into existence

[charmac]

Mac doesn't seem to think Dennis' System for Men is all that effective, but it's perfected, tried and true. In fact, it's so effective that a professional could run it through in under five minutes:

---

“You don’t think The S.I.N.N.E.D. System would work on you?” Dennis asks, ignoring the rest of Mac’s gibberish sentence.  “Clearly not,” Mac replies simply.  “You don’t think I could, very easily,” Dennis steps up to him and grips his bicep. “Huh,” he wonders aloud. “What?” Mac replies, looking down at the fingers wrapped tightly around his muscle.  “Nothing, I just didn’t realize your arms were still so,” he runs his tongue across his bottom lip, “firm. I mean, you’re hiding those muscles behind these long t-shirts now,” he pulls at the fabric of Mac’s shirt, pressing against his arm, and then pushes his hand up underneath it. “You’re still pumping, huh?” He meets Mac’s eyes.  “You—you think they’re firm?” Mac asks, eyes lit up in response.  “Yeah,” Dennis nods, running his hand up and down the bare skin. “Hey, I just remembered,” he squeezes Mac’s bicep again and then lets go, “The headboard on my bed is still messed up from when we moved the furniture back in. One of the beams is stuck at the wrong angle and, well, I haven’t been able to get it back into place myself, embarrassingly,” he says. “Do you think you could use those muscles to help me out? It’s pretty heavy.”  “Dude, why didn’t you ask me earlier? It’s been like, two weeks. Of course I can.” Mac’s already moving for his bedroom, on a mission. And Dennis has completely fucking lied about the headboard, of course, there’s no fucking beams on that thing, it was just the first lie that came to mind, so he has to trot after Mac’s speed-walking to intervene.  Dennis almost bumps into him as he enters his bedroom, just behind Mac, who’s frowning at Dennis’ headboard as he approaches it. Dennis grabs his shoulder and spins him. “Man, I totally forgot Dee came by and fixed it this morning,” he lies.  Mac eyebrows crinkle, “Dee was here this morning?”  “Well,” Dennis chuckles a little, “I’d never say it in front of her, obviously, but I think we can probably both admit she’s a little stronger than you.” His hand presses into Mac’s shoulder firmly, fingers gripping on, preparing for the reaction.  “Not funny, Dennis,” Mac frowns, voice raising. “Take it back.”  Dennis rolls his fingers, drumming into Mac’s shoulder, and hums. “Too bad you can’t prove it. Headboard is fixed.” His left hand finds Mac’s chest and pushes on it, walking him backward until the back of his knees are pressed up against the mattress. Mac’s visibly at a loss for words, his eyes stuck on Dennis’ own. “Unless you wanted to break it?” His hand slides from Mac’s shoulder and meets his other one against Mac’s chest. Mac frowns, his eyes dropping to the two hands. “Why would I—,” Dennis pushes with enough force to catch Mac off guard and send him down to the mattress. “What the hell, Dennis?” By the time he looks up, Dennis is dropping into his lap and gripping his shoulder again. He watches Mac’s pupils dilate fully in a second. “Oh,” he stutters in realization, mouth hanging open. Dennis runs his thumb over his open bottom lip and dips it into Mac’s mouth, hooking the inside of his cheek. Mac’s lips close around the appendage slowly, never breaking eye contact with Dennis. Thumb enclosed in a wet heat, Dennis pushes Mac down until he’s lying back on the bed fully and he’s hanging over the man.

“Suck,” Dennis tells him, and Mac does. He sucks on his thumb gently, tongue slotting right underneath the digit and sliding perfectly. Dennis is mesmerized for a moment, just watching Mac’s cheeks hollow as he obeys, never breaking his fixated gaze on Dennis as his suckling gets heavy and wet. He snaps out of his daze quickly and lets go of his press on Mac’s shoulder, digging into the back pocket of his jeans and pulling out a travel packet of tissues.  He yanks his thumb from Mac’s mouth and shifts off of him, finding his feet and staring down at the man laid out on his bed. He pulls a tissue free from the packet and hands it out to Mac. “Clean your face,” he tells him. “Your lips are covered in spit.”

Mac takes it blindly, of course he does, and wipes his mouth aggressively. As he does so, Dennis fights everything in his body telling him to just give up and stay rooted, just in case, and makes himself turn around, heading for the door. 

“Dennis!” Mac yells out. “Hey, dude, what the hell was that about?” He’s up on his feet, Dennis can tell. He slows his pace, but doesn’t dare stop completely. “Where are you going?” Mac’s hand falls on his shoulder, and Dennis spins, a stupid grin of triumph plastering his face as he meets confused, doe eyes. Mac frowns at the expression that meets him, then looks down at the tissue in his hand and wildly back up to Dennis, attempting to throw the paper-thin cloth to the ground. Dennis chuckles as it floats to the floor between them. “You tricked me.”

“I proved you wrong,” Dennis replies simply. 

---

I'm working on a fic and I got derailed and wrote this. Not sure it'll be included in the fic, so I wanted to share it instead (or, in the meantime)

[charmac]

I'm sure everyone and their mom have got this, but I had it colour coded, just for fun:

[lesbianfreyja]

“dennis reynolds is a master manipulator/genius”

first of all, dennis smokes crack and he’s in love with a man named ronald mcdonald

[glennislover]

he is teeny tiny i can hold him in the palm of my hand

[charmac]

3x06 | 16x06

Charlie and Dennis + Forced Entry

[homodennis]

she's so real for this

[charmac]

Charlie Day mentioning Sunny fanfiction brought the world to a complete still for a moment.

[boodlesofdoodles]

Okay but we all agree that Dee and Charlie go see the Barbie movie together, right?

[8love]

[glennislover]

they are so mastermind coded this season im going insane

[worrysomeone]

I’m sorry I need y’all to look at this frame.

Do you see it ??

Is that what I think it is????????

Is that a framed photo of Mrs. mac, Luther, and little kid mac from the earlier seasons??

That might even be this shirt???

I’m not crying you are

[glennislover]

i hate elon musk idk how to use this app!!!

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

The Bowling episode better be all about Dee with the guys barely in it at all to make up for how little she’s been in this season

[strawberisapphic]

everyone has a ship thats just: theyre perfect. they hate each other. theyre married. they havent spoken in 15 years. they have date nights three times a week. theyre divorced. theyre pining, its unrequited. its requited. theyre starcrossed. theyre meant to be. theyre doomed by the narrative. they love each other. theyve never held hands. they wont stop making out at parties. they cant look each other in the eye

[buthappysoverrated]

my brain right now

[gayasslovestory]

dennis system for men "why? how come?" "shhhh" "bathrooms at zoos are like hotspots for closeted dads" "you guys grindin?" suppress your instincts "because I AM him" DONT YOU SEE ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER

[dennisboobs]

everyone saying some shit about "maybe it's the macdennis brainrot, but--" about the bryan/aaron mac/dennis parallels. i promise it's not you reading too far into things, it was 100% intentional. and i'm not saying this as a "brain rotted shipper" i'm saying this as the bitch who has been yelling BECAUSE of the "brain rotted shippers" for the past week and a half.

[dennisboobs]

season 14, babes. and even in dennis' double life in season 12 he was pulling this same exact shit.