every time i come home from vacation i end up crying. i think itās because for one whole week i get to exist without constantly watching the clock, and then suddenly itās over. i always hate saying goodbye to my boyfriend after spending every day together, even though i literally know iām going to see him again almost immediately. it still feels like iām leaving behind a little version of my happiness every time.
coming home is bittersweet, though. i actually love unpacking. i love throwing in all the laundry, putting everything back where it belongs, cleaning my room, and getting my life organized again. thereās something comforting about resetting after being away.
iām just exhausted knowing iām about to jump right back into working almost every day for the next two weeks. this summer has felt like one long to-do list. between my internship, retail, and pet sitting, i donāt think i ever really slowed down. every time i finished one thing, i was already thinking about the next shift, the next responsibility, the next deadline. itās hard to truly relax when your brain never lets you.
at the same time, iām proud of myself. iām proud that i worked so hard. iām grateful for the money iāve earned and for the opportunities iāve had. i know all of this is helping build the life i want. i just wish i had given myself a little more permission to rest in the ways that actually help me cope with stress instead of constantly feeling like i had to be productive.
the good news is i only have two more weeks of work before another little getaway, and then itās back to school. as weird as it sounds, iām actually excited. i have such a good feeling about this semester. i know there are so many memories waiting to happen, new experiences, familiar faces, and so much to look forward to. i think iām just somewhere between mourning a summer that flew by and getting excited for the next chapter. maybe itās okay to be both.
