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The Ashes: England v Australia day three – live!
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Thisarticletitled “The Ashes: England v Australia day three – live!” was written by John Ashdown (morning and evening) and Andy Bull (afternoon), for theguardian.com on Saturday 3rd August 2013 15.07 UTC
87th over: England 212-4 (Pietersen 78 Bell 52)
"Highlight of the day so far?" Daivd Johnson asks himself. "Has to be the awkward tea-time exchange between Botham and Gower, with Beefy oblivious that the new ball had been taken. I assumed pundits generally watched the game?" Yeah. Um. Bloody pundits. Anyway Ryan Harris just bowled an over. Six balls I reckon. But I missed them. As I was still listening to Gooch.
Hello to (and from) the Manchester Jazz Festival
"Going to the Test tomorrow, but currently watching (the ace) Dice Factory at the Manchester Jazz Festival," writes Stephen Bennett. "They have just introduced their number ‘Gooch’ – about his 333 – with a shout out to the OBO, with the humility to know that half of the audience are checking for updates. As are the band it seems. Hope you can return the shout out!"
And – click on this link, I promise you won’t regret it – here are the Dice Factory with Gooch. Nice.
Evening Richie. Evening everyone.
What a session of cricket that was. At the moment it feels like the enduring image of the day will be that of Darren Lehmann coming out onto the Australian boundary and lifting his finger to indicate Pietersen would’ve been out on referral and the features of Michael Clarke crumpling in pure, unadulterated exasperation thereafter.
So, John Ashdown will be here in ten minutes or so to cover the evening session. Send your emails to him now, please, at [email protected]. Cheerio.
86th over: England 211-4 (Pietersen 78 Bell 51)
Siddle replaces Starc, as Clarke continues with his hyperactive captaincy. Siddle beats Bell’s outside edge. That’s the first difficulty he’s had all session so far as I can recall. And the last too, because later in the over he knocks three runs out to mid-wicket, bringing up his 50, as well as the hundred partnership, and that takes us into tea.
85th over: England 208-4 (Pietersen 78 Bell 48)
An LBW appeal from Harris, but none of his teammates have joined in with him. Clarke in particular isn’t interested, because the ball was too far over towards the leg-side. And another LBW appeal from the next ball. This time it was an inside edge that saved him. That was an excellent maiden over.
84th over: England 208-4 (Pietersen 78 Bell 48)
That looked close! Starc almost got another batsman out caught down the leg-side here, as the edge of Pietersen’s bat passed perilously close to the ball, which flicked off his pad on the way through to Haddin. Starc follows that with a full toss though, which Pietersen eases away for a single and a then a half volley, which Bell clips away for four.
83rd over: England 203-4 (Pietersen 77 Bell 44)
Ryan Harris is on at the other end, with Pietersen on strike. It’s funny listening to Strauss commentate on KP, almost everything he says seems to be pregnant with some kind of criticism. Perhaps it is just my imagination, but he seems to be continually talking about how KP "loves to be the centre of attention" and "has to play his own way" or that "he doesn’t have a shell to retreat into".
82nd over: England 202-4 (Pietersen 76 Bell 44)
Clarke does take the new ball now, and gives it to Mitchell Starc. Another important spell here, then, because Australia aren’t going to get another new ball to play with this side of the follow-on. Clarke has a leg slip in, which isn’t something you see all that often in this situation. Starc swings one well down the leg-side, then serves up a full toss which Ian Bell drives back down the ground for four, his bat immaculately straight.
81st over: England 196-4 (Pietersen 76 Bell 40)
So, the new ball is there whenever Clarke wants it. But for the moment, Lyon will continue. He’s bowling well to KP here, from around the wicket. Pietersen picks one though, when Lyon over-pitches, and pats it away for two runs to square leg.
80th over: England 194-4 (Pietersen 74 Bell 40)
Smith seems to have found the cut strip now. "When straying out of earshot or view of the cricket – the loo, making a brew or similar – does anyone else immediately imagine they hear a hugely confident Aussie appeal?" asks Andy Bridge. "I do and rush back only to hear the placidly measured tones of Athers." I still hear Ian Healey in my sleep.
79th over: England 193-4 (Pietersen 72 Bell 39)
Lyon is back into the attack as well, only he’s bowling from around the wicket now. Clarke has the security of knowing that if Pietersen does lash out again, there’ll a new ball available in just a minute so he can bring the quicks back into the attack. "It says something about Pietersen as a batsman that, despite Ian Bell going for his fourth consecutive Ashes hundred, Shane Warne says KP is the one Australia really want," says SImon McMahon. "To be a fly on the wall in the Aussie dressing room at tea when Watson and Clarke see that LBW (non) review." Yup, that might be a bit of a test for the two of them.
78th over: England 190-4 (Pietersen 69 Bell 39)
Well, here is Steve Smith, bowling his all-sorts. He serves up a rank full toss, which Bell pats away square. It’s the first of a few such. In fact I think he only landed two deliveries on the wicket in the space of that entire over. "Higgs," says Alec McAuley, "got so few caps because he was from Staffordshire, ditto David Steele, ditto Jack Ikin."
77th over: England 187-4 (Pietersen 67 Bell 38)
KP takes a single from the sixth ball of another skintight over from Watson. The new ball is just three overs away now. Steve Smith has been doing some wildly elaborate warming-up, trying to catch Clarke’s eye and get a bowl. Clarke, though, seems to have lost faith with his spinners, or at least prefer to keeps attacking with his quicks for the moment. "No Hick in the H team?" asks Brian James. "I am surprised." Do you know, they’ve such strength in the batting that he and Hussain both miss out, but I reckon you might just want to squeeze in the Yorkshire all-rounder George Hirst somewhere.
76th over: England 186-4 (Pietersen 66 Bell 38)
A rash shot this, from Pietersen, a pull high into the air over mid-wicket way. The ball dropped down safely enough though, a way away from Usman Khawaja. Bell then threads a drive through the off side, and essays another of this late-cuts of his, for four through third man. I sympathise with this email from Chris Morris, because I was just thinking the same thing myself: "The stupidest thing about the review system is if an umpire makes a mistake like the Pietersen LBW it’s Australia who are blamed for not reviewing it when it’s actually the fault of the umpire in the first place."
75th over: England 179-4 (Pietersen 65 Bell 32)
Just a single from Watson’s latest over. he’s given up 13 runs from 10 overs now. "I think this H team would beat your Bs," says Peter Cave, and I reckone he may be right. "Hobbs, Hutton, Hendren, Hammond, Hardstaff, T. Hayward, Hoggard, Hendrick, Higgs, Hollies/Harmison, Huish (wkt)." Aye that does look a little better than the H team I rattled off, which had Warren Hegg keeping wicket, and Dean Headley as the third quick. Ken Higgs had a phenomenal first class record didn’t he? How on earth did he end up playing so few Tests?
74th over: England 178-4 (Pietersen 64 Bell 32)
Well, Australia had their man there, but let the chance slip through their fingers. We’ll see what happens in the hours ahead, but that could well be one of the key moments of this match. As Ian Copestake says "I’ve seen better reviewers than these Aussies on Yelp."
73rd over: England 177-4 (Pietersen 63 Bell 32)
Watson, the tightest bowler on either side is into the attack, and his very first ball has hit Pietersen flush in front of middle stump. Australia appeal, but decide not to review it, perhaps because Pietersen was so far down the wicket when it hit. More fool them. Hawk Eye shows that Pietersen was out, and that decision would have been given had it been reviewed. Australia’s analyst signals as much from the balcony of the dressing room, and Clarke’s face creases up in irritation. Watson, infuriated, gathers the next ball up in his follow-through and hurls it back at the stumps. "Loving how the cameras go scanning every few minutes for another of Botham’s old jousting partners so he can ruefully compare notes about his drinking problem," says Jesse Noakes. Yeah, there almost seemed to be a little pity in the way Allan Border was looking at him in their last exchange. Or perhaps that’s just Border’s natural facial expression.
72nd over: England 176-4 (Pietersen 62 Bell 32)
Pietersen flicks two runs to mid-wicket, and a single to fine leg. "Spotted this in Brighton this morning," says Lee Rodwell, "Excuse my ignorance, but I didn’t realise he had enough work even for one volume. Hidden depths that lad."
71st over: England 173-4 (Pietersen 59 Bell 32)
"KP and Bell are an interesting pair aren’t they?" says Gary Naylor. "KP came into the team fully formed as a Test player, all "Look at me" and big, bold runs; Bell was (discounting the Bangladesh innings) the opposite. Yet here they are, with ups and downs along the way, but now possessing similar records and as valuable today as ever. If 2006-7 was the price of too much loyalty, it’s a price worth paying for the benefits of continuity. And what a privilege to see their contrasting, yet parallel, careers unfold." There haven’t been many English batsmen in recent years who have been better to watch than these two. Seeing the two of them together in this kind of form is a real treat.
70th over: England 172-4 (Pietersen 58 Bell 32)
Clarke calls Starc back into the attack, he’s bowling from around the wicket to Bell, coming in very wide on the crease, angling the ball in towards the Bell’s stumps, and hoping to snap it away off the pitch. Much good it does him. Bell drops to one knee and creams a cover drive away for four. That’s a fine shot. But the next is better yet. It’s a late cut, for another four. This is beautiful batting from Bell.
69th over: England 164-4 (Pietersen 58 Bell 24)
Harris tries another of those full in-swingers against Pietersen. But he’s a little too far into his innings to fall for that trick now. So Harris settles back into a line and length outside off, and Pietersen plays out a maiden.
68th over: England 164-4 (Pietersen 58 Bell 24)
Another wonderful shot from Pietersen, though this one picked out a fielder in the deep. It was that freewheeling front foot pull stroke of his, off a shortish delivery from Siddle. England have had more players whose surnames begin with M than they have any other letter, I think, but oddly you can barely make a decent XI out of the lot of them. They’d get roundly thrashed, I reckon, by the Js, the Ls, the Fs and Ds.
67th over: England 162-4 (Pietersen 57 Bell 23)
Lyon is yanked from the attack after being hit for 30 runs in five overs. Harris is on in his stead. He fires a fine yorker down at Pietersen’s bootlaces, but KP drops his bat on it and pats it away square.
66th over: England 159-4 (Pietersen 55 Bell 22)
Just a single from Siddle’s latest over. Will Michael Clarke bring himself on to bowl a little left arm spin at Pietersen? I wonder if his back will allow it. If he is feeling fit enough, it might be an idea. Of course there’s the old saw about Pietersen’s weaknesses against that particular type of bowling, but I wonder too whether the fact that it was Clarke, Australia’s captain and best batsman, bowling to him wouldn’t just spur him into doing something a little rash?
65th over: England 157-4 (Pietersen 54 Bell 21)
My, oh my. This is turning into a brilliant little session of cricket. The two batsmen are both intent of hitting Australia’s spinner out of the attack. Bell, inspired by Pietersen at the other end, launches into a similar shot against Lyon, stepping down the pitch and launching a six over long-off. All Bell’s 18 runs have come in boundaries. He ends that run by stepping back and across and pushing three runs out to deep point.
64th over: England 148-4 (Pietersen 54 Bell 12)
Siddle is bowling well here, in his way, using the width of the crease to vary his approach, posing subtly different questions each time he bowls. He ends the over with a beautiful ball to Bell, whizzing just past his outside edge. Marissa Bourke has suggested that I turf Butcher out of the B XI and replace him with Bell, which is a good call.
63rd over: England 148-4 (Pietersen 54 Bell 12)
Wow. Pietersen unleashes two successive sixes off Lyon, the 12 runs taking him past fifty. They were similar shots, he took a quick step down the wicket to the pitch of the ball and launched into a lofted drive, one to long-on, one to long-off. That’s wonderful to watch. Lyon keeps his head, and pins Pietersen back in the crease with a flatter, faster ball.
62nd over: England 136-4 (Pietersen 42 Bell 12)
A lovely cut shot from Bell, the crack of bat on ball ringing crisp and clear around the ground, which is still a little empty after lunch. Now I look at it again, T has a better bowling line-up (Tate, Titmus, Trueman, Tyson) and H a better batting line-up (Hutton, Hobbs, Hammond) but for balance, you can’t beat B. Or maybe I’m biased.
61st over: England 128-4 (Pietersen 42 Bell 4)
Pietersen is looking in a rambunctious sort of mood. It’s making me a little nervous. He’s kicking a bit early here. He swats a lofted drive the other side, through long-off, and gets four for it. So, having got through to W in the English Test XIs, I think the winning side is the B team, beating out stiff competition from the Ss, the Ts, and the Gs. Boycott, Barber, Brearley, Barrington, Butcher, Botham, Binks, Broad, Bedser, Barnes, Bosanquet.
60th over: England 124-4 (Pietersen 38 Bell 4)
James Peterson bit the bait. "Apart from starting sentences with conjunctions," he harrumphs, like an English teacher training kids up for their A Levels, "your transgression is ignoring the quality of bowling that Haddin has been keeping to (ok, to whom he has been keeping). Keepers can’t just push batsmen out of their crease and then stump them." Well quite. So why is it then, that Wade has taken almost as many stumpings off the very same set of bowlers in a quarter as many matches? Or, for that matter, that mark Boucher has taken more than four times as many in as third as many games, when he’s spent most of his career ‘keeping to the likes of Paul Harris?
59th over: England 123-4 (Pietersen 37 Bell 4)
Nathan Lyon is on at the other end. I’ve warmed to this fella a lot in the last two days. In a side who seem like they spend an awful lot of time staring in the mirror admiring on the effort they’ve put into their moisturising regimens, he’s a throwback, and could have stepped out of an Australian side from the 70s, what with his careless stubble and his casual scruffiness. Pietersen, seeking to stop him from settling, slaps a lofted drive to long-on.
58th over: England 120-4 (Pietersen 34 Bell 4)
Siddle has started after lunch. England open with a sharp single, a little risky that, since the man they were taking on was David Warner, who is a superb fielder. But they squeezed home, just beating the throw. So, after all those lost hours during long sleepless nights, I finally got through to the W XI last night, which is as far as you can go and still get an entire side out.
Anyway. I’ve got a problem.
And it’s all Mike Selvey’s fault. A little while ago Selve wrote a piece in which he picked the best XI he had seen play for England in Ashes cricket. Like a lot of cricket fans, I’m a fanatic when it comes to picking obscure XIs. It’s what I do when I can’t get to sleep at night. And lately I haven’t been able to sleep at all. Mainly because I have been awake picking English Test XIs whose surnames all begin with a certain letter of the alphabet (the caveat being that they have to have played a Test). All because Selvey mentioned that he has "done teams whose name begin with the same letter" in that article.
Yes, that was a wonderful catch by Brad Haddin to dismiss Alastair Cook, a leap made while standing well back from the stumps when he had time enough to get his limbs moving. He’s a good, combative batsman, Haddin, and an important member of this team. But as a wicketkeeper? He’s made five stumpings in 47 Test matches. Australia’s second ‘keeper, Matt Wade, has taken threestumpings in just 12 Tests. In fact, only one ‘keeper in the history of Test cricket has played so many games and taken so few stumpings, and that’s Denesh Ramdin.
in an hour we’ll be exactly halfway through this series, though given some of the reaction to the last match you could have been forgiven for thinking the Ashes ended after Lord’s. Almost as though some members of the press and public have forgotten how to watch Test cricket, just as some of the players may have forgotten how to play it, in the age of Twenty20. England are listing, Australia are on top. And if winning the Ashes back may well be beyond them, they’re on their way to winning this match.
England 119-4, trailing by 408 runs with six first-innings wickets remaining. Andy Bull will be joining you after the interval – address all furious demands for contrition over Haddin’s keeping skills to him at [email protected]
56th over: England 119-4 (Pietersen 33, Bell 4)
More DRS boredom, drudgery and misery intrigue. Snicko shows a noise on that Bell ‘edge’ from the last over. It can only be bat on ball. HotSpot showed nothing, nada, zip. Lyon comes on for one final over before luncheon. Just a single from the over. And that’s lunch. Australia’s session, I think.
55th over: England 118-4 (Pietersen 32, Bell 4)
Starc comes round the wicket to Bell and finds a little movement away. Bell leaves, leaves and leaves again. From the fourth ball he gropes uncertainly – the ball flies past the outside edge. Haddin goes up in certain celebration. His team-mates look at him in a mixture of confusion and concern, as they would if he’d just started talking to a fire extinguisher. Bell, unconcerned, gets off the mark with a punchy drive square for four.
54th over: England 114-4 (Pietersen 32, Bell 0)
For a keeper who can appear pretty substandard with much of his work, that was a quite wonderful catch. Indeed it was a wonderful catch for any keeper. Sound the Stating The Bleedin’ Obvious Klaxon: England are up against it now. Pietersen drives Harris brilliantly down the ground for four.
53rd over: England 108-4 (Pietersen 28, Bell 0)
So a tricky 10 minutes facing the Sledgehammer of Eternal Justice.
WICKET! Cook c Haddin b Starc 62 (England 108-4)
Cook drops-and-runs for a single that brings Pietersen back to face Starc. And again we get fireworks. Not eye-widening, inner-child-thrilling fireworks, more the sort you get from the local Londis, but fireworks all the same. This time they take the form of Pietersen, compulsively, pulling high and hard at a short one. It drops safe two thirds of the way to cow corner. Then Cook goes! And what a way to go. He looks to flick Starc away off his hip, but instead gets a feather through to Haddin who takes a quite stonking diving catch.
52nd over: England 108-3 (Cook 61, Pietersen 27)
There’s a change in the bowling but it is Harris, rather than Lyon, who returns. Cook dinks a couple into the leg side, then pulls to deep square leg for one more.
52nd over: England 105-3 (Cook 58, Pietersen 27)
Re: Jesca Hoop. I just don’t think you should have to remove vowels from your name to get ahead. See also: Mark Cavendish’s new website. Maybe I’m just jealous: Jhn Wllm Shdwn doesn’t really work for me. Meanwhile, Starc continues his fascinating duel with Pietersen and this time it’s a no-score draw.
51st over: England 105-3 (Cook 58, Pietersen 27)
Watson continues, and so does the head-scratching. He’s very, very parsimonious but Cook is surely going to be in defensive mode enough without needing extra restriction. And just as I type that he mistimes a big pull away for a single and Pietersen has a dance down the crease and inside-edges through his legs for a couple. So what do I know?
Uh-oh. "I’ve just come in from work to be mailed that you are objecting to Jesca Hoop’s name," writes Jesca Zhou. "But what part makes you so angry? It might be the Hoop, but if not, let it be known that I stand four-square, shoulder to shoulder with my namesake and that we fight to the death in defence of our moniker.. Just one thing though – who the hell’s Jesca Hoop?"
50th over: England 101-3 (Cook 56, Pietersen 25)
Starc to Pietersen once more and this time he does tempt him outside off. One squirts low to third slip, the next flies to point, but the third is thwocked to he boundary past the same man. Australia have offered Pietersen the challenge and he’s accepted it thus far. That brings the 100 up.
49th over: England 97-3 (Cook 56, Pietersen 21)
I’ve nothing but admiration for Clarke’s captaincy style, but removing Lyon from the attack seems a very odd decision. Watson continues, and while Pietersen is all crashing waves and dangerous rip tides at one end, Cook is a mill pond of serenity at the other. Several theoretical ducks are considering landing on his head. Another maiden for Watson.
48th over: England 97-3 (Cook 56, Pietersen 21)
Starc finds a tighter line for Pietersen this time, but still can’t tempt him with the drive. Instead, Pietersen unfurls the pull shot, shellacking a short one away for four to midwicket. The next is even better: disdainful and extraordinary in equal measure, a back-foot club to wide long on. One of those shots that you’d use as an example of pure KPness. The next is flicked away for a couple – in homage to the new football season those three balls have gone 4-4-2 – and the last whacks him on the pad. It’s hitting but it pitched outside leg.
47th over: England 87-3 (Cook 56, Pietersen 11)
Rather weirdly, Shane Watson (5-5-0-0) replaces Lyon. His 31st ball finally concedes a run, three of them in fact thunked into the leg side by Cook. And five more come from the second! Pietersen scurries through for a single, Warner looks to throw down the stumps but watches as the ball flashes past … and then past Chris Rogers who is doing about as an effective job of backing up as a satsuma. Next stop: the boundary rope.
46th over: England 79-3 (Cook 53, Pietersen 6)
Australia have the chance get Pietersen back in the hutch early here. The ploy at the moment is to tempt him into a drive outside off, and Starc is serving up ball after ball that zips past whispering sweet nothings in the batsman’s ear. "Drive me. Do it. Drive me now. Go on. Smack me through the covers. You know you want to …" Pietersen, for now, isn’t taking the bait.
45th over: England 79-3 (Cook 53, Pietersen 6)
Lyon prances – and it is, in the nicest possible way, a proper spinner’s prance – up to the wicket once more. A quicker one scurries through and gets an inside edge on to the pad, and the next is a carbon copy, but this time brings a stifled, unsuccessful, appeal.
"This talk of dark satanic milk has reminded me of its finest connoisseur, Richard Herring, before Stewart Lee left him in the wilderness for his odd taste in animal juices," writes Ally Heath.
44th over: England 79-3 (Cook 53, Pietersen 6)
"Before I woke up to the world outside my street and went to uni, I thought the Harvey Milk bar I found there literally sold milk," writes Ian Copestake. An establishment calling itself a Milk Bar has just opened down the road from my house. I have literally no idea what it is. A change at both ends – Mitchell Starc comes into the attack for the first time today. His first ball straightens Pietersen up and squirts away square off the outside edge. Not sure he’s middled one yet – and from the last of the over there’s a lazy swipe outside off that flies past the edge. This is the worry for England – enough of the top order are out of sorts that if the momentum tips decisively Australia’s way it could all unravel rather quickly. This has been nothing like dull enough from England’s perspective so far.
43rd over: England 77-3 (Cook 52, Pietersen 5)
So then here comes Nathan Lyon. And on cue, Shane Warne sits in the commentary seat. LISTEN: LISTEN TO WHO YOU ARE NOT. YOU’RE NOT HIM ARE YOU? YOU NEVER WILL BE, WILL YOU? THIS IS WHAT AN AUSTRALIAN SPINNER SOUNDS LIKE! DO YOU HEAR HIM? DO YOU HEAR HIM, NATHAN? HEAR HIM AND TREMBLE, PUNY EARTHLING …" Sorry. Some disturbance on the line there. Cook flicks him away for a couple.
42nd over: England 75-3 (Cook 50, Pietersen 5)
Siddle strays to the pads and Pietersen at first appears to have put him away neatly to fine leg for four, but replays show it was a genuine inside edge. Still, it’s four either way and they’re the only runs from the over.
41st over: England 71-3 (Cook 50, Pietersen 1)
Oh, good Lord! Pietersen has a big bleary-eyed put-the-alarm-on-snooze-and-tip-over-for-another-10-minutes dozy poke at his first ball from Harris and isn’t much more convincing with the next. Or the next. Or the next, which is a yorker that is just about dug out to get him off the mark. Cook pushes authoritatively down the ground and picks up a couple that takes him to a hard-earned half century thanks to a bobble that takes the ball past the sprawling mid off fielder. Then plays and misses at the last. Harris and Siddle are bowling exceptionally well here.
40th over: England 68-3 (Cook 48, Pietersen 0)
When does a shakey form become a proper wobble? When does a rut become a trench? I imagine you’ll find Jonathan Trott living in the Old Trafford nets for the rest of the day. Siddle continues to bend his back, a bowls five right on the money (giving him figures of 9.5-3-10-2) before Cook thumps him through the covers for four.
"Dark satanic milks?" ponders Peter Morrow. "Not the Korova Milk Bar surely?"
39th over: England 64-3 (Cook 44, Pietersen 0)
It goes without saying that that was a big wicket, but I’m going to say it anyway: that was a big wicket. Trott was exuding none of that aura of permanence that usually follows him to the crease like his shadow, and the shot was one of man currently confused with his game.
WICKET! Trott c Clarke b Harris 5 (England 64-3)
Trott, bat straighter than a seam on a pair of military trousers on this occasion, pushes for a single back past Harris. Cook does likewise, but next up Harris has his man. A shorter ball, a beautiful line, has Trott back and prodding. The ball finds the edge and flies to Clarke in the slips.
38th over: England 62-2 (Cook 43, Trott 4)
Some interesting analysis from Strauss and Atherton on Sky looking at the slightly crooked angle at which Trott’s bat is currently coming down in his stroke. He is, says Strauss, the sort of player who likes his shoes all in a line in the dressing room so it will be troubling him that his bat to be coming down at an angle. Cook plays out another watchful maiden in the face of Siddle’s probing.
37th over: England 62-2 (Cook 43, Trott 4)
Cook does well to dig out a ball from Harris that stays low, then misses with a pull thanks to another that just sticks in the turf a touch. A single from the last means we’ve had 10 runs from seven overs this morning – the rate is likely to be slow all day, so it’ll take all day for England to get up close to the follow-on mark. They might, if they do indeed get there, not reach it until tomorrow morning.
36th over: England 61-2 (Cook 42, Trott 4)
Siddle strays a touch too straight to Trott, who flicks him away for a couple into the leg side – his first runs of the morning.
Meanwhile, definitive weather news:
35th over: England 59-2 (Cook 42, Trott 2)
Harris forces Cook to keep putting bat on ball, though without too much threat this time around. It’s good bowling – if the plan, which it must be, is to grind England down then forcing the batsmen to play shots, even defensive ones, is going to have a greater erosive effect than simply allowing them to leave outside off.
"If Pippa Middleton on cricket leaves you cold," writes Gary Naylor, "here’s Alan Bennett – at least it might be Alan Bennett."
34th over: England 59-2 (Cook 42, Trott 2)
Siddle beats Cook with a beauty, trapping the England captain on the crease, feet cemented to the line, squaring him up but somehow zipping past the edge.
Weather watch: The BBC, like Blind Melon, says there’s no rain. The Met Office, like Mud, says that’s right, that’s right, that’s right, that’s right. But the all-powerful Google says showers are afoot.
33rd over: England 58-2 (Cook 41, Trott 2)
Harris overpitches on middle-and-leg – Cook, scratching around for form or not, doesn’t miss out on those. Four runs guided economically to wide midwicket is followed by a drop-and-scamper single tapped into the off side.
32nd over: England 53-2 (Cook 36, Trott 2)
From the other end it’s Peter Siddle ("An entry-level throwback to the mid-1980s, when all Australian fast-bowlers had frazzled and unstyled hair and looked as though, close up, they might smell strongly of scotch egg" ©Barney Ronay). He has Trott groping just outside off with a ball of that nagging, infuriating length that he so often finds and indeed provides a full six balls of awkward batsman-bothering line-and-length. A maiden.
31st over: England 53-2 (Cook 36, Trott 2)
Ryan Harris rumbles in for the first over of the day and looks to keep things very full to Trott. A leg bye flicked away off the hip brings the first run of the morning, but there’s some wibbling, wobbling movement out there for the bowler.
"From Imran Khan to England’s current captain, Alastair Cook, there is a tradition of the sultry cricketer powering in from the boundary or effortlessly gliding a ball to the boundary, tousled hair blowing in the breeze, his whites signifying a purity of action …" Pippa Middleton on cricket in Vanity Fair? This is some sort of post-modern joke, no?
Arrows of desire. Dark satanic mills (which I mistyped three times as "Dark satanic milks" – a different thing entirely). Green and pleasant land. Etc and so forth.
"A big day for Lyon, but surely no bigger than the first day of Ponting’s Retirement Test," writes Harry Tuttle. "Second drop, Australia first innings. The nightwatchman?"
He’s having a nice chat on the outfield with Ian Ward. Talking a decent game. Looking happy and confident. Then: "Let’s bring Shane Warne in," says Ward. Just seems a bit unfair: "Ah, yes, Nath. Bowling well, I see. Good, good. BUT LOOK: LOOK WHO YOU ARE NOT. YOU’RE NOT HIM ARE YOU? YOU NEVER WILL BE, WILL YOU? THIS IS WHAT AN AUSTRALIAN SPINNER USED TO LOOK LIKE! DO YOU SEE HIM? DO YOU SEE HIM, NATHAN? LOOK UPON HIM AND TREMBLE, PUNY EARTHLING …"
I may be reading slightly too much into this.
Things that have annoyed me this morning
1) Jesca Hoop. Why is your name spelled like that? Why, why, why, why, why, why?
2) No milk in the fridge.
… will surely be Nathan Lyon. He had Cook in all kinds of trouble yesterday evening and will carry the heaviest bowling load in the field today. If Australia are to put themselves in a position to win this game then you the spinner will have to add to his three career Test five-fors. HIs captain is certainly putting his faith in him.
Only a few tickets left …
Join us in August for an evening of nostalgia and affectionate laughter in memory of Frank Keating, one of Britain’s best-loved sports writers, who died in January after 50 years with the Guardian and Observer.
The evening in London will focus on Frank’s life and work, with video clips, readings, panel discussions and audience contributions. Guests on stage include Graham Gooch, Mike Atherton, Alastair Hignell, Eddie Butler, Mike Selvey, Matthew Engel and Patrick Collins.
The few remaining tickets are available here.
Morning all. England 475 runs behind, eight wickets remaining – this is just like old times. Alastair Cook’s goal for the day at Old Trafford will be to make today the dullest day of the series so far, a grinding, paint-drying, stick-matchsticks-in-your-eyes 90 overs of three-and-a-bit-an-over bowler-bothering solidity that will take England up towards the follow-on mark. And with it keep the Ashes in their hands.
But. And, indeed, however. Australia have their tails up. And not in the backs-against-the-wall style of the first Test. For the first time in the series Australia have momentum and what in MMA you might call the mount position. A couple of meaty pummels to the unprotected noggin of this England order and things might get far too interesting for comfort.
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