“Hi Love! Kamusta kana? I hope you’re doing well as of now, far from illness and stress. I miss you, you know that right? Well, here I am, trying to tell you something but I know it won’t reach you. I loved you so much, and I will still love you tomorrow. This day could’ve been our 37th monthsary but I guess they’re right “change is the only constant in this world”. I couldn’t help but think of you on the things we spend time together, places we’ve been a lot, particular items that remind of you, and of course I always had this habit of messaging you every time I had the chance and now I know to myself I couldn’t do that anymore. I’ll miss you. Always always take care of yourself wherever you go. And the last thing I want to see on you is that you’ve moved on and here I am still stuck in my own demise.”
I couldn’t imagine my life without her by my side, three years of my time I gave to her to us and now everything’s gone. Yes, I had my mistakes that I know I could’ve avoided but here we are on the brink of parting ways. She was my world, and she brings that exquisite smile to my face whenever she talks to me and when we’re together. She had other plans for her life and I felt I am not part of that plan. I swore I will make a come back on my studies and hear my name be called in my graduation day, but I guess this is not yet our time, I will really cherish every smile, every tear, every effort I did for her just to make her happy. From the time I became close to her, our college days up to the time she had her first job, our first anniversary then came the second and the third.
I know to myself I couldn’t move on with this misery I am facing right now, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” my bro said... “fake it ‘til you make it” my supervisor’s motto. “you deserve better” says her bestfriend. Those lines, they’re very interesting but I know the fact I can only be happy if I’m with her. But I know she’s not anymore happy with me, and everytime that runs into my mind I just couldn’t help but stop on whatever I am doing and think of the past we had together.
She was my everything. She’s not just one ordinary woman. She.is.one.of.a.kind. She stands amongst the rest, I promised to myself I will always make her feel the love she deserves from me. I guess she just got caught off guard with her work, but everything I thought of, is I understand everything. I truly understand. In the end, she made sure she’s ready to let it go, ready to say goodbye of the things we had for 3 years and there I was, no clue at all on what’s gonna happen next. She broke up with me. My heart is shattered, all of our memories went with a blur.
2017 is gonna be big for the two of us, I know she really want to be a photographer in a cruise ship or work for her auntie in Singapore. That’s her goal for next year. As for me, go back to school while balancing work. But hey, easier said than done. Right now, I don’t know what’s up for me for next year, I have no clue on what’s gonna happen. Yes, I try to distract myself with hanging out with my bros, mobile & computer games and of course with my work. I really think that she’s gonna be the first one to have moved on with our break up. I just couldn’t find the words to say that I can move on with this shit that I am on right now. Yup, you’ll see me smiling and laughing, but deep deep down I’m completely broken.
