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Types Of Friends When A Boy Fucks You Over

The Rihanna- Fuck’s up your ex’s car in broad daylight and waits for him to come out so he knows it was her

The Nicki Minaj- Dresses you up in her clothes with your titties and ass all out. Records videos of you in the club dancing up on some dude, posts them to instagram and tags your ex in all of them

The Beyoncé- Tells you to forget him and not worry about him. Then, coincidentally a week later his car gets repossessed, he loses his job, leg gets broken in three different places and he’s living back with his mama and can’t qualify for unemployment

The Naomi Campbell- Hooks you up with her man’s wealthy friend. Is always sure to let your ex know what your new man has bought you

The Viola Davis- Has a sit down with your ex and gives him a lecture of how disgusting of a person he is and she doesn’t let him get a word in. Tells him he owes you an apology and after that to never speak to you again or she will have more than words ready for him next time. Ends conversation with “are we clear?”

The Cardi B- Literally will kill him

The Lil Kim- Gets her brother and his friends to jump him

The Tiffany ‘New York’ Pollard- Shows up to his job,cusses him out and gets him fired. Will wait for him out in the parking lot to cuss him out some more