From the writing desk of Gilderoy Lockhart

Hi, I'm Gilderoy. I'm a father of eight, and married to the loves of my life. I'm a writer, you might have heard of some of my books. I used to be famous thirty or so years ago, but then I lost my memory and went out of the public eye. That part of my life is over.

[glockhart]

Well, this was not the return he’d expected after a much needed short break in Paris. Toys everywhere, dishes not done, children running circles around James and Melody he’d been expecting. He’d been hoping for bathed and fed and watching TV, but knowing his children.. probably the former... mouthing some very choice swear words as he looked about in shock at the absolute state of the hallway...he walked in, the smell almost overpowering. His darling gorgeous daughter absolutely covered in head to toe and running about.. he scrambled for his wand, waving it in a now familiar way after nearly ten years of being a father, and most of the mess disappeared off the walls, a repeat movement and his daughter was mostly clean...  He blinked a little, still trying to make sense of what he’d seen. Where were the adults? Where were James and Melody? Someone? This hadn’t been done in a few seconds... He walked over to his husband and their daughter, gently kissing her on the top of her thankfully now-clean head, though the smell remained “Darling, where’s your brother? Who’s looking after you?” He glanced over her head at Scott, sending him a look of ‘I am going to KILL whoever let this happen’ 

[glockhart]

So... I’ve not been here in a year....

[chaoticbeastsuggestion]

I did not forget. I do not forget.

Years and decades and centuries can hole my memory, but I will never forget what you did to me.

[heretoboogie]

@glockhart : “You should call him Cam”

“Tae be honest I kinda asked that question hopin’ sumone would tell me tae jest ignore et..” He sighed and pulled a face. “..ye wanna change yer answer maybe?”

[glockhart]

“No, Cam, I don’t. I... am sure your Dad is an arsehole. Whos Dad isn’t? But just give him a quick call to say hello. If he starts, tell him that you don’t need to put up with his moaning, and tell him to stop. If he carries on, just hang up and ignore his calls for a day or two.”

[byondtheveil]

Barty had been wandering the streets in another late-night bout of restlessness and now found himself standing in his friend's yard, barefoot in pyjamas and tossing pebbles up at her bedroom window. "Rei, are you there?" he called out in a clearly distressed voice. "Can I come inside please? It's cold and I forgot the way home again.."

“Mmm cat I swear if you…” Wait pete couldn’t talk. Pushing herself out of bed she wobbled down the stairs before the back door to the shop opened. “Damnit barty you are going to catch a cold. You know shoes or slippers are necessary when leaving your house.” She had no problem with the midnight wandering as she was prone to it herself, but footwear was a must.  Wrapping an arm around his shoulders a yawn escaped her lips. “Come on I got a spare pair of slippers for you upstairs. I’ll put tea on.” @bartyjoonyah

[bartyjoonyah]

Why was she yelling at him about shoes? Barty looked down at his bare feet, wiggled his toes, and then frowned at them. He could have sworn that he had slippers on earlier… and a robe! He definitely remembered having a robe! But both items were gone now and he couldn’t remember why. Hopefully he just forgot them at home and didn’t strip them off during his wanderings.

“I think I lost my things,” Barty told her glumly. “The pancake lady might know where.. I went to her shop for breakfast first, but they weren’t set up yet..” He trailed off, mumbling something to himself about honey, and turned to leave, but thankfully Rei managed to catch him by the shoulders before he could get far. “Oh, you have shoes for me here? And tea?” Barty hummed with a sleepy smile and let Rei guide him inside, resting his chin atop her head as they walked.

@byondtheveil

[byondtheveil]

“That’s alright I’m sure we’ll find them.” Rei said as she guided him back inside the shop and up the stairs to her apartment above. Luckily most of barty’s things were enchanted and would end up back at his place or here if it was closer. “Yea I kept spares of everything of yours here.” Yawning again she pushed her open her door and let him over to her couch. “I’ll put the tea on, you just rest here.”

[glockhart]

THUD THUDTHUD THUD THUD. 

A none-too-subtle banging on the front door cut through the quiet night air. “BARTY! BARTY ARE YOU THERE? IT’S GILDEROY, I’M HERE!’ He was frantic, had been searching the town for hours, following a semi-functional tracking spell to find his husband. Scott had jumped in the nearest TARDIS to start scouring the stars to see if someone had stolen him and taken him Out There. More threats came from behind the door, and more heavy-handed thumping. “I KNOW YOU’RE KEEPING HIM, AND I WILL WARN YOU THAT NOTHING CAN STAND BETWEEN ME AND MY HUSBAND! I AM ARMED, AND IF YOU LET HIM GO NOW I WILL MAKE SURE I DON’T HARM YOU TOO MUCH!’

A sound like a long thin piece of wood fiddling with the lock on the door accompanied his speech, with a little grunting of frustration. 

@byondtheveil

@bartyjoonyah

[dunderklumpen]

[glockhart]

#Barty in bed with nothing but his glasses on  Oooh, it’s Gilderoy’s favourite version of Barty. 

[ninthwardjawn-deactivated201902]

*acts up because i really want dick*

[dailywizardwheezes]

#the wig

[httpsno]

I HAVE THREE WORDS THAT WILL BRING JOY TO YOUR HEART:

little league quidditch

[onlyslightly]

#all brooms fly like 3 feet off the ground#the bludgers are stuffed animals#keepers often get distracted by clouds#the seekers are better at playing tag than catching the snitch#games are over when it’s naptime

[shorm]

the quaffle is a beach ball with a hover charm

[glockhart]

It was a cold, crisp and bright February morning, one that brought forth hope that spring would soon be coming. Gilderoy had awoken early for a weekend, bundling the children up in protective clothes and pulling out training brooms for everyone. It had taken a while to stop several of them from bickering with each other, but once they’d all gotten into the air -all of a foot off the ground. Most everyone’s toes still brushed the grass as they flew- most of the sibling arguments had stopped as they played a simple version of Quidditch, Gilderoy being referee.

“AND ON THE BLUE TEAM” His voice echoed throughout the garden, magically enhanced to sound louder than it was. “WE HAVE CATE, THE CHASER! WE HAVE ROWAN, THE KEEPER AND HENRY THE SEEKER!” He cheered and applauded, as his children dressed in...as close to blue as he could get them into. Henry had insisted on wearing his grey jumper, but Gilderoy had tied a blue ribbon onto him, so it counted. 

“AND THE RED TEAM.... THERE IS THE ONE AND ONLY MATILDA LOCKHART, THE SEEKER! RORY, THE CHASER, AND ELEANOR-” “ELLIE, DAD!” “SORRY, ELLIE, THE KEEPER! AAAAND THEY’RE OFF!”

He wasn’t going to quite introduce Bludgers into the game just yet, although he knew already that Rowan would make an excellent Beater by the time he got to Hogwarts.

 Ellie quite quickly received a Quaffle to the face, as she hadnt been looking at the ball, more distracted being able to see her breath in the cold air. Henry, meanwhile, was clutching to his broom for dear life, terrified of falling the short distance to the ground.  The training brooms were only meant to go perhaps two feet off the ground, but at one point he did have to go rescue Matilda, who had began drifting into the sky and flying higher than needed.  “No no, Henry, remember, you need to find the Snitch! It’s flying about somewhere!” Three feet from your head Henry, look to your left. “You can play chaser next turn, okay?- Rowan how many times, you cannot just scream at the other chaser to scare them away!” “Why? It works, doesnt it??” Children, honestly. 

[anakinskywalkrx]

He’d just been walking past the bedroom they’d just repurposed quickly for Anakin, heading to bed himself when he heard the unmistaken noises of a child having a nightmare. He peeked his head in, and on seeing he was right, he crouched down next to the kid and gently shook him awake. “Anakin? Anakin, wake up, it’s alright, it’s alright, you’re here, you’re safe, it’s alright.” He smiled, soothingly, hoping he’d be able to calm his newly fostered child down.

It was not common for Anakin to be scared of something but dreams were different. They took you by surprise, just like this dream had. In his dream, he had been running from an enormous Bonegnawer who was chasing him. He had been trashing and turning in his bed until Gilderoy shook him awake and called his name. At first, he still felt disorientated, not yet used to his new room until he saw Gilderoy sitting next to him. The little boy flung himself against the older male, seeking comfort. “They were chasing me, I had to run or they would eat me!”

[anakinskywalkrx]

Gilderoy smiled, just a little mischievously. He may be getting on a bit, but the amount of children in the house definitely kept him young. “You’ve never tried hot chocolate before? C’mon Anakin, I’ll make you the best hot chocolate in the world.” 

As they walked out of the room and down the stairs towards the kitchen, Gilderoy concentrated, flicking his wand and murmuring some words as a small light appeared at the end of it, lighting their way without turning on the lights and waking everyone up. He spoke, quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone else, and also knowing that perhaps a ten year old boy wouldnt want the whole house to know he’d been afraid. “You don’t need to apologise about nightmares you know. I get them all the time, about all sorts of scary things.I’ve always found that things normally come alright with a mug of hot chocolate and someone to talk to though.”

“No, is it good?” Anakin asks looking curiously at Gilderoy. “You will?” His face lits up at the prospect of trying this new thing.

There was something thrilling about being awake in the middle of the night and sneaking around towards the kitchen with Gilderoy. He still couldn’t call him ‘dad’, not yet anyway. The child looked with big eyes towards him when he got out his wand, murmured some words and created light. “That is awesome.” Anakin declared softly, matching Gilderoy’s soft tone as to not wake up the others. “You get them too?” His brows wrinkled in confusion. “But you’re a grown-up. I thought you didn’t get nightmares.”

“I don’t know if things will be normal I never even heard of this drink before. I’m not sure it even exists where I come from…” A short silence before he added, ‘It might have been too expensive for us to know as well… If I like it can I send some to my mom as well?”

[glockhart]

“Ah, that’s the thing Anakin” Gilderoy smiled down at him as they turned into the kitchen/dining area. “Everyone thinks that grown ups dont get nightmares, or don’t get scared. But we do! All the time! Part of being a grown up is knowing that having those dreams and being scared is okay and part of life.” Ah. He’d thought it’d have something to do with homesickness, and he couldnt blame him at all. This was a large culture shock, of course he’d miss his home, and his mother. He’d been very brave in the weeks since he’d come home with them, but it was natural and expected to miss his mother. Even if he knew there was no life but pain back on his home planet, he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty he’d took that familial bond away from the boy. “Of course you can” He said, smiling, his face illuminated by the fridge as he pulled out some milk and other ingredients. “Would you like to write her a letter in the morning, after you’ve slept properly? Barty can make sure it gets to her so she knows how you’re doing. You can add a present of Hot Chocolate powder for her to add to warm milk so she can taste it too!” He set down the milk, cream, marshmallows and chocolate down on the side, and turned around to pick up Anakin, setting him down on the counter top next to where he was working. “There you go....can you hold my wand so I can see what I’m doing?” He passed the glowing stick to Anakin and smiled again. “Thanks!” He began measuring out liquids, chopping up chocolate into tiny pieces and performing a whole elaborate piece of cooking for a rather simple recipe. 

[anakinskywalkrx]

“Yes, I am absolutely here to help you.” That was one thing he was definitely sure of. Surely they could give the poor woman some money to get her out of the situation her family was clearly in. He turned around, looking a little desperately for help from Barty as he picked up his drink and passed it back to the kid, affectionately messing up his hair with the other hand. 

“Alright Anakin, so let me and my h…partner here, we’ll take you back to your mothers house. You keep that drink, that’s yours now.” He was never quite sure about introducing Barty as his husband everywhere they went, you never did know how people could react. They’d pretended to be brothers at one time in the 16th century during a Tudor ball, which had resulted in them having holy water thrown at them as they ran very quickly back towards the TARDIS. Barty had been quite impressed a post-reformation England even still had holy water, but they had been in quite a lot of trouble. 

“So, Watto was the….” he’d gone to say something no doubt offensive to non-humans, so paused and glanced back at his husband again, an apologetic look on his face as he pulled an expression that seemed to say ‘I’m sorry!’

 “..he was the one that was beating you? Because you skipped work? That’s terrible! How old are you, kiddo?” He looked young, maybe 10 at most, but knowing his luck, the kid would actually be several hundred years old and be some very youthful looking human hybrid. It was a shame he was a bit too old for a piggyback or a shoulder ride, he’d quite like doing that and cheering him up. “Well, maybe you wont have to work there anymore. Dont you have friends or games you could be playing instead? A growing boy like you shouldn’t be off working in a shop for a cruel…person like that.” He hesistated over the word ‘person; hoping he hadn’t used the wrong terminology. 

Anakin’s face lit up in happiness at hearing that reply. If the stories about the Jedi were true everything was going to be fine. Maybe they could even finally leave this planet altogether and start over somewhere new.

One quick glance down towards the glass, while the stranger runs a hand through his hair, confirmed that the drink was safe, or at least as far as he could tell. Not that he doubted that a Jedi would do something to hurt him! After given permission, Anakin sipped from his drink while listening to Gilderoy. “Okay, I’m sure she would love to meet some new people. Especially when she hears you’re Jedi!”

“It’s not so bad others got it far worse than me.” He explained shrugging. It was far worse to see his mom get a beating then getting one himself. If only he was big enough to protect her. “I’m nine but I’m turning ten later this year.” His brows furrowed looking in confusion towards the elder man. “I do have friends but I can’t go play none of us can. They own us you see? I’m a slave. Most of us here are. We have these chips in our bodies we can’t go anywhere.” If he had not been a child he would not be so open about it. “I do have free time though! I’m building a droid to help my mom around the house. I can show it to you if you bring me home. It’s in my bedroom! There are still some parts missing but with some luck, I will find them in the junkyard soon so I can finish him.”

[glockhart]

“You’re a SLAVE?” Gilderoy stopped dead in the middle of the street, staring at Anakin. He wasn’t quite aware how loud he was being, but several people turned to look at them all now. It seemed to take him a few seconds before he was able to move again, almost struck dumb by the words and the casual way the child was saying it. He turned to look at Barty, then back at Anakin. “Just....just, stay there one moment kid, don’t move. I’ll just be one minute.” He turned around, grabbing Barty’s arm and walking a little way away from the child, talking quickly. Not much could be understood through the bustle of the crowd, but there was definitely ‘Just him and his mother’ mentioned, several times.

Once he returned to Anakin, Gilderoy crouched down a little to get at a similar level to him, talking quietly enough so that just they could hear. “Alright, Anakin. I have something to admit to you. I wasn’t quite telling you the truth earlier. I’m not exactly a Jedi, though we do something similar!” He hastened to add, not wanting to disappoint the child too much.  “This man and I go around and do good in the universe and save people in need, that’s what the Jedi do, right? My wooden stick..”  he twirled his wand over his fingers at this, multi-coloured sparks shooting from the end. “Isn’t a sword, but it can do other things, like help someone fly and turn their hair green...I didn’t lie when I said that I’m going to help you either, because I am. I’m going to free you and your mother once I’ve took you home, okay? No one will ever beat you ever again, and you can play and build your droid and do whatever you want, I promise.”

[anakinskywalkrx]

He’d just been walking past the bedroom they’d just repurposed quickly for Anakin, heading to bed himself when he heard the unmistaken noises of a child having a nightmare. He peeked his head in, and on seeing he was right, he crouched down next to the kid and gently shook him awake. “Anakin? Anakin, wake up, it’s alright, it’s alright, you’re here, you’re safe, it’s alright.” He smiled, soothingly, hoping he’d be able to calm his newly fostered child down.

It was not common for Anakin to be scared of something but dreams were different. They took you by surprise, just like this dream had. In his dream, he had been running from an enormous Bonegnawer who was chasing him. He had been trashing and turning in his bed until Gilderoy shook him awake and called his name. At first, he still felt disorientated, not yet used to his new room until he saw Gilderoy sitting next to him. The little boy flung himself against the older male, seeking comfort. “They were chasing me, I had to run or they would eat me!”

[anakinskywalkrx]

glockhart:

Gilderoy clutched the young boy close, one hand cradling the back of his head, the other gently stroking his back. “Ssssh, sweetheart, it’s alright. No ones going to eat you. You’re safe, it’s alright. You don’t need to run anymore.”

Soothing scared boys from nightmares, it seemed to describe his life for the past 7 years…

Once he was sure the kids breathing had gone back to normal, he pulled away a little. “You alright? Do you want to get some hot chocolate before heading back to sleep?”

Sweetheart was not a nickname Anakin would like being called under normal circumstances but right now he to occupied to comment on it. Gilderoy was being so nice to him. He reminded him a little of his mom which made his heart ache. He missed her already.

Eventually, Anakin calmed down enough and let go of him. He sniffs and angrily wipes away some tears that had slipped out. “I am alright.” He confirmed with a small nod. “Sorry, I usually don’t have nightmares.” He adds in a small voice. A small frown appears on Anakin’s face in confusion. “What is hot chocolate? We only have hot milk back home…”  

[glockhart]

Gilderoy smiled, just a little mischievously. He may be getting on a bit, but the amount of children in the house definitely kept him young. “You’ve never tried hot chocolate before? C’mon Anakin, I’ll make you the best hot chocolate in the world.” 

As they walked out of the room and down the stairs towards the kitchen, Gilderoy concentrated, flicking his wand and murmuring some words as a small light appeared at the end of it, lighting their way without turning on the lights and waking everyone up. He spoke, quietly, not wanting to disturb anyone else, and also knowing that perhaps a ten year old boy wouldnt want the whole house to know he’d been afraid. “You don’t need to apologise about nightmares you know. I get them all the time, about all sorts of scary things.I’ve always found that things normally come alright with a mug of hot chocolate and someone to talk to though.”

[charlesoberonn]

Muggle World: We’re sorry, Harry, you won’t get to compete in the contest. There must’ve been a glitch in our systems. You weren’t supposed to be in the draw at all, you’re too young.

Wizard World: Send this child to the death games! The goblet has spoken!

[babyboicthulhu]

the Wizard World is a lawless hellscape

[bartyjoonyah]

Murder on the Orient Express was so good and Barty is even more in love with his Gildeburr.

[glockhart]

And clever, don’t forget how clever I am!!

[theremnantsofahouseinthefens]

“When was the last time you left the house? Or opened the curtains for that matter?"

@glockhart

Gamma was curled up in a ball in bed, sniffling inaudibly when Gilderoy came in.  He winced at his voice, and curled up tighter when the curtains were opened.  “Windows bad,” he muttered, his crying getting a little louder.  “He beat me to almost death for looking out the window.  I can’t stand windows.”He didn’t face the man, nor did he really move at all.  “I keep having flashbacks, nightmares haunt me every night.  The outside terrifies me; what if I see him?  Or anyone that could look like him?  I’m okay with Barty and Scott, but others that I don’t know…I’m so scared.”

[glockhart]

Gilderoy sighed, pity tugging at his heart strings for his friend as he carefully sat down at the very edge of the bed. “Gamma, Gamma, it’s alright. It’s alright.. It’s just me, I’m just going to touch your arm now, okay?” And he did so, carefully stroking his upper arm, attempting to sooth him down. He’d had enough experience with this from years of dealing with a traumatised Barty, and it came back to him like it’d never gone away. 

“He’s gone, I promise you he’s gone from your life. Remember? He doesnt even remember his own name, he has no idea who you are, he doesnt remember the children, and he’s halfway across the country and is not coming back to this town. Just take a deep breath now, okay? I’m just going to put my arm around you.”  He lay down behind Gamma, spooning him as he lay his arm tight around him. “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared all the time. Take your time, I’ll be here when you’re ready.” @theeldritchmortician

[glockhart]

EXCUSE ME IM DYING THIS IS THE CUTEST THING