So I was going to make a huge post updating my life because when I left I was on the verge of being homeless (and suicidal at that), but thought that maybe I should just do a tl;dr instead. In case anyone was worried about me I dunno.
When I was living with my mom I felt trapped. Empty. Like my life wasn’t going to go anywhere and there was no point in living. Every day I wanted to die. I don’t know if that showed here because I was good at masking how I was feeling. Though, I would vent a lot on discord servers about how I felt ignored, replaced, etc and I know it would get on people’s nerves but I kept doing it anyway because it felt good to vent.
Anyway... I decided to move into my sisters apartment for awhile, but it wasn’t working out because living on a couch sucked. Living with her, her husband, and son sucked. It wasn’t the fact that we didn’t get along, it was more that I felt like I was a nuisance. Of course...her demon child (who I nicknamed the tiny terror) didn’t help either. Seriously that kid is violent and mean :’(
So after living there for a few months, I found out about a rehabilitation program. It was super scary, because it would mean I’d be farther away from my mom...but at the same time, I desperately needed it. I was an adult, and I needed to start acting like it but I couldn’t while I was depending on my family. I needed to be away from them.
Honestly...it was the best decision I ever made. Of course, there have been cons to living here like I have to go to this day program every day and some of the classes are sooo boring. But we go on outings like restaurants and cool stores that we get to pick.
I have been so much happier. Everyone who I’ve talked to says they can tell I’m happier. I haven’t thought about wanting to die (maybe once or twice the entire time I’ve been here. Which has been about a year). I feel like now I have a reason to live.
Recently, I’ve been making preparations to go back to college in the fall with support from the staff and my boyfriend. Yes! I have a wonderful boyfriend!!!!! We have been together for about 10 months now and not to be cheesy but he is so the one you guys. I’m gonna marry the fuck out of him one day.
So uh lol this did not end up being a tl;dr lmfao oops but if you’ve read all this thank you! Perhaps now that I’m in a better place, I’ll come back. Though if I did, I’d probably delete all my blogs and have a complete fresh start.
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