This Is An Advice Blog. Ask shit. Get answers.

Ask me anything, anon or not. I will answer to the best of my ability. And I have lots of experience, with lots of issues. Whatever it is that's bothering you, know that this is a safe place to discuss anything and everything. You should never feel alone, and if you do, feel free to come to me and I'll try to be a shoulder to cry on, or whatever it is you need. ~GoAskAllison

[goaskallison]

favorite book?

Too many to count. 

Here is my top 50.

My favorite authors are Chuck Palahniuk, Scott Westerfeld, Ernest Hemingway, and Ray Bradbury.

[xxpineappleprincess-blog]

[goaskallison]

yeah, but the thing is, we have a few classes together, but we don't have mutual friends. i really want to text him and tell him how depressed he's making me, but i know he'd be freaked out. I have him in math tommorow, but he just walks right by me. How can i get him to talk to me seriously?

My opinion would be NOT to text him that. You'll come off as desperate and might ruin any chances you had in the first place. Try sitting next to him, and striking up a conversation. It can be totally mundane, like talk about homework or gripe about the teacher, whatever. You might be frustrated by the small talk, but it will give you two a reason to talk.

I went to an all girls high school so I never actually had this problem! But I hope my advice is helpful!

~Allison

[goaskallison]

hey, this guy and i used to be kinda close and we kissed and stuff, but now all of a sudden, it's like he wants nothing to do with me. He doesn't text me, and doesn't say hi to me anymore :( What should i do?

Do you see him in person often? If so, try talking to him in a group setting. It will take the pressure off of both of you, and it won't be awkward. Then if you are talking and having a good time with a group, maybe he'll start talking to you again one on one.

If that doesn't work, then he's probably not worth pursuing.

But hopefully it all works out for you!

~Allison

[goaskallison]

Prom's came about (it is still next june) and I want to be able to go with someone.. but theres noone i know/am close enough with :/ I never seem to get the guys :( How can i meet new guys and not be so shy preferably not in my year group?

Here's my personal experience with prom:

So I went to an all girls school, with 50 people in a grade. Prom for us was pretty lame. It was combined juniors and seniors, so it was basically about 100 girls and their dates. And you couldn't go as a group, because there were no guys to go as a group of friends.

So I wasn't even planning on going to prom junior year. And then at the very last minute (I was on spring break in France actually) I decided to go. So I had to scramble for a date. I ended up asking a guy I knew from church. We had been kind of friends since 6th grade and I asked him in a "hey, I just decided I was going to prom, wanna come?" kind of way, so that he knew if would be just a casual-as-friends thing.

So for me, church was pretty much the only place I had to meet guys. I don't know if you have anything like that (church, camp, extracurricular activity, etc.) but those are general good places to casually meet guys.

Also, I'm assuming you're just looking for a prom date, not a boyfriend. Because that would be a whole other can of worms. And I'm probably not the best one to give advice on that.

Good luck!

~Allison

[goaskallison]

my ex im in love with just recently reached out to me. he knows i love him and he says he sorta feels the same way.but last night i brought up an old memory from our past relationship that i guess he didnt remember...he said :"that was prob ur other bf since that didnt happen we never discussed that. dipshit" and continued to tell me im full of shit and to stop responding. i never had any other bfs, it was always only him and i told him that. what do i do? im feeling lonely and want to text him.

Well, the fact that he called you a dipshit makes it sound like he's not worth it. But if you really like him, that's your choice. If he told you not to talk to him anymore, then texting him would really come off as desperate, and you definitely don't want that because that would put him in control of the (potential) relationship.

So my suggestion is to see if he comes around and talks to you again (since he was the one who reached out to you in the first place anyway). But don't make the first move.

Good luck!

~Allison

[askagayguy-deactivated20110929]

I'll try my best to give you all advice, but there are some times where it's better to talk to a professional.

[goaskallison]

kaptainriley:

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-439–4253

Reblogging because you know, someone out there could use one of these.

I love you all.

[nov3lty]

This week is Suicide Prevention Week. Reblog this if you're willing to help save someone's life.

[goaskallison]

[goaskallison]

...him a message/letter to get an official end to the friendship and tell him how I feel or whether I should just leave it be and just remember the good times, although if I lose him I have no one left. Him being bust really isn't much of an excuse since he lives just round the corner to me, he walks past my road every day to catch his bus for gods sake! yeah I don't know what to do and I hate not knowing where i stand with him :S

Hm. From experience I've discovered that, although easier than a face to face conversation, writing letters isn't always the best plan. Sometimes it goes well if written the right way. So if you do send a message, think carefully about what you want to say and don't be accusatory.

Maybe you should casually bump into him sometime and strike up a conversation? Maybe he really is busy. He might have a lot going on at school. So I think you should try to talk in person, and if that doesn't work out then maybe write a message.

~Allison

[goaskallison]

Okay background is that I've had depression and anxiety for about 2/3 years and stopped going to school over a year ago. Quite quickly I stopped speaking to all my friends except one. He had a crush on me for ages and in the last few months he has hardly spoken to me which sucks because I was developing feelings for him too. On my birthday all he did was send me a facebook message, no card or anything. He didn't offer to see me even though he only lives round the corner (we used to hang out..

Was there supposed to be a second part of this question?

That sounds pretty lame of him. Did he know that you were starting to like him back? Have you mentioned anything to him?

I'm not sure what advice you were looking for. I think tumblr is eating my asks.

~Allison

[goaskallison]

So I've started talking to this girl, we're friends, of course. But it kinda seems like she's on the bisexual side, I'm scared to ask her though. I used to be bisexual.. but ever since we started talking I can't stop thinking about her, and I think she's extremely beautiful. What do I do?

First off, I really don't know what you mean by "used to be bisexual". It's not really something you get over and stop being. It sounds to me like you're attracted to this girl and that you're clearly into girls.

I hope I don't come off as insensitive in saying that. I understand that sexuality is a personal thing. but if you liked girls at one point, and you like this girl now, I have to say I don't think you're straight.

Also, are you upset about the feelings you're having? If not then I suggest getting to know this girl well enough that you're comfortable asking her about her sexuality or at least hinting that you like her.

If you are upset, then that's another issue, and I could try to help with that if you want.

~Allison

[goaskallison]

there is a possibility of running into eachother as his brother goes out with my friend and we both ski through the same group. There could be ski meetings or i might got to the next ski trip which is like a year away ha. Not planning on making any first moves. Just a tad annoyed i let it happen! Its not something i've ever done before.. i mean i can remember dancing with him like the whole night but i'd of never of made the first move there either, x

I know all too well what you mean. Except for me it happened on two different occasions, and I've decided it's probably best not to get drunk around him again.

So if I were you, I'd just let it play out however it does and not worry too much. He clearly doesn't think any less of you because of it, so I think it should be fine.

And don't regret/feel bad about it either. It can happen to anyone and usually there aren't any negative consequences. So don't worry!

Also, personal note, yay skiing!

~Allison

[goaskallison]

I kissed a guy I hadn't seen for sixth months at an 18th party on saturday. We'd both had a bit to drink.. I just wanted a view on how you think things could go? We spoke on facebook on monday and it was sorta just a general recap of how drunk we were but he also said he had an amazing night. you think it could become awkward and we'll never really see or speak to eachother, he'll want to meet up at somepoint or i dunno.. just wanted an opinion really haha. thanks x

Drunk hook-ups are always a little awkward. At least you guys spoke afterwards.

I think the level of awkwardness depends on how good of friends you are. You said you hadn't seen him in six months, are you going to be running into him again in the future? If not, I wouldn't worry about it. If he says he wants to meet up, you can choose whether you want to or not, but if he doesn't make a effort, I wouldn't either.

Now if you ARE going to be seeing him again, that's a different story. The fact that you talked about it makes it lss awkward, but still you should figure out if you want to hook-up again or if it was a one time thing.

So basically it's up to you whether you think you should pursue this or not, but I personally wouldn't reccommend making the first move.

Hope that helped a bit! Feel free to come back with more questions!

~Allison

[goaskallison]

Hey, so okay... recently i tried to commit suicide. Yes, i know it was bad and im doing better now. Honestly. Its just, okay so theres this guy and i like him, he likes me and all that. I'm just not sure that i could handle it if i got hurt. I'm scared. Anyway, thanks.

I'm glad you are doing better, and if you ever feel like you need to talk about it, I'm here, so don't hesitate.

Are you already friends with this guy? Because if you are, then you're probably less likely to get hurt because he cares about you as a friend and wouldn't want to see you suffering. Even if the relationship didn't work out, he would probably care enough about you to take your feelings into consideration and do his best not to hurt you.

If you're not friends with him, my personal approach would be to go into the relationship thinking of it as very casual and just more of a test to see how it will work out. If you at any time feel unhappy or unsafe, you should be the one to back out.

And also, assuming you're in high school/college, chances are this won't be the guy you spend the rest of your life with, so it's most likely not going to last. But you can have a perfectly nice short term relationship without getting hurt. Just make sure this guy isn't a jerk and that he really cares about your feelings.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask. Good luck!

~Allison

[goaskallison]

hello..well i guess i can get straight to the point. so i'm an 18 year old girl, and i've always been attracted to guys. but lately, i've been feeling attracted (physically, sexually) to girls. i'm notice when cute girls walk by. and i'll even admit that when i watch porn i'm more interested in the girl. i could see myself hooking up with a girl, but not in a serious relationship. so how can i know for sure i'm i'm bicurious/bisexual? it's kind of a lot to process and i'm confused...

The only true way to tell if you like girls is to try hooking up with a girl. If it turns you on, and you aren't repulsed by it, then you like girls!

A lot of people think that there are varying levels of bisexuality, like the Kinsey scale for example. So you could till be considered bisexual even if you're only physically/sexually attracted to a girl and wouldn't actually want a relationship.

For me personally, attraction is on a person to person basis. Maybe that's how it is for you also.

But the only true way to tell is to try it out. You're 18 so that means you're either a senior in high school or a freshman in college? If you're in college, experimenting should be way easier. So try hooking up with a girl. And if you get the same out of it as with a guy, I would say you're bi.

~Allison

[goaskallison]

Hi, recently I've come to realize that I'm in love with my best friend of 10 years (we're both girls). What should I do? How do you deal with falling in love with your best friend, as you mentioned before? What was her reaction? I'm worried I might ruin things forever. :(

Well, I realized I was in love with my best friend in 7th grade and I told her at the end of 8th. She didn't reciprocate the feeling, but she didn't hate me either. We were still best friends for about three years after that, until things fell apart for different reasons.

If you have any inclination that your friend might feel the same way, then you should tell her. And even if you think she doesn't like you like that, tell her, just to get it off your chest. It's such a heavy thing to have to keep to yourself, that you'll just feel much better telling her, even if she doesn't feel the same way.

And if she's a good friend, she won't think any less of you for telling. It might be awkward for a bit if she doesn't reciprocate, but if you are close, you'll be able to get past it, and still be friends.

I don't regret telling my best friend. Even though it didn't work out, I was just so much less stressed out once I confessed.

Good luck <3

~Allison

[goaskallison]

What makes you feel like you're qualified to help people?

While I'm not a trained psychologist or anything, I have something that can't be taught in school. Personal experience. And I'm not so far removed from these issues that I can't remember just how real they are in the moment.

I've been to shrinks, been to counselors, talked to all the people you're supposed to talk to about issues, and none of them helped. The people who did help were friends who had understood.

So I want to be that friend who understands. I want to share the things I've discovered with others in an attempt to help make their lives happier than mine was.

So no, I'm technically not "qualified" but I'm going to do my best to help, because I feel really strongly about this.

~Allison