delusional diatribes @goddamnrecovery - Tumblr Blog

this fucking part. owch

you gotta touch the stove to learn its hot and then you gotta touch it again for fun

i fucking HATE being hungry

shit i might be a guy

painfully empathetic to the human experience

i dont belong

i dont belong with people as negative as me, because i cant not try to help them, or disagree, or get frustrated, because they cant relate, they dismiss me

i dont belong with people as positive as me, because they are uncomfortable when i even slightly mention my trauma, they dismiss me

dont you see the flaming sinking ship???

arent you all afraid of it??

dont you want to save it????

i want to scream

i cant scream

im alone

#i really cannot be the only one with a sinking ship #how do you cope???#how do you scream???

isolation station

the trains come and go but you dont step on any of them cos none of them are yours

you are actually just here for the safe familiarity of the empty and dark station

you glance at the rails

you lay on the wet cold and mossy floor instead, staring blankly at the night sky

the windows of the trains that stop there are lit but nobody is inside

or maybe someone is, but you dont dare to look, cos imagining the train empty feels more comforting somehow

you light a cigarette

any time something good happens im like 'was that so hard?'

and any time something bad happens im like 'of course'

its like, you live on a sinking ship your whole life, and then someone tells you 'hey that ship is sinking' and you suddenly blink like 'wait oh god oh fuck the fucking ship is sinking!!! wheres the lifeboat?? wait no the passengers!!! what was the captain even thinking?!! let me just get the passengers on the lifeboat first. what?!! what do you fucking mean the lower deck is on fire??? where are the extinguishers?!!! i have to find the extinguishers. but the passengers!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. push through the pain come on you can do it. noone knows this boat like i do, i will handle it'

#dont even wanna tag these things #dont want anyone to see these #dont want anyone to know its me #noone can find me here #but what if no one finds me here?

im alone im alone im alone im alone im alone im alone

me: inside me are three wolves…

rachiel: wolf? have you tried being a person for once? god: im more than a mere wolf recovery: cool! what type of a wolf am i?

#thing #rachiel #god #recovery #i might need to have a nickname for recovery

life is a game

you decide the genre

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