this is such a fantastic and reassuring response
trying on a metaphor

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@arb-ors
this is such a fantastic and reassuring response
this tweet has been fucking killing me
Thank you all, i needed further explanation - And i do find it might help me!
the more time you spend in active recovery from any given self destructive behavior or addiction the more you understand the common conception of the "relapse" as defined by a broken "streak" to be, like, so bad for one's own well-being that it would be funny if it weren't resulting in just a lot of misery and death
I told my girlfriend to think of quitting vaping as training her endurance by seeing how long she can run before she gets tired, then doing it again and hoping to go further next time. She said it really helped her.
This is the stages of change model, with each circle being a part of the process of growth. You'll notice how relapse is not a failing of the model, or a set back, but an active step in continuing to grow and change. Everytime you relapse, you learn something; maybe a certain time of year is difficult for you. Maybe certain people push you back into the habit. Maybe your other coping skills/replacement habits didn't work how you wanted and you need to strengthen them, or develop new ones. Maybe it's not quite as clear cut and you need to spend the time figuring out what exactly went wrong so you can catch it next time. It doesn't matter the exact lesson, but it's part of the process.
its super important to Always remember that folks who shame you for being a lil odd dressing a lil weird talking a lil strange have simply been beaten down by the whole fucked up world and now want nothing less than for you to join them
the thing about being "good with kids" is all it takes is literally just not trying to control and mould them with every interaction. it's just being a normal person and engaging with them through normal interactions like having conversations and playing games. it's just being genuine and friendly and not perceiving them as lumps of wet clay you are there to shape. "oh you're so good with kids" thanks it's because I think they are people
grace and frankie should be REQUIRED viewing for all young women who fear aging
I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together
Examples:
- guy at work "Yes, and -" ing the bit me and my coworker were doing where we pretended to be owners of a fantasy medieval tavern not minimum wage retail staff
- at the gay club when Die Young by Kesha came on and two hundred people, all dancing and drinking separately, jumped up and down to make the "- beat of the drums *STOMP STOMP*" as loud as possible
- person who watched me stomp round the beach singing a made up song about breakfast foods to name a cat after and suggested more breakfast foods that would be good cat names
- guy who started a dance off with everyone across the road while waiting for the lights to change
- very tiny girl at the pharmacy interviewing everyone in the queue and every single one of us in turn sat down and answered this toddler's questions like we were on Letterman
The three pillars of humanity, in no particular order, are Joy, Absurdity, and Sharing
Lovely to see we have spaces where you can gain access to so much literature!
There's hope.
My co-teacher came up with an idea. She said to me: “I’m going to project a Shakespearean sonnet on the board that you have never seen before. They are going to watch you struggle through it, and they are going to see what it takes to authentically annotate something to attempt to understand it”. This was a good idea because it targeted a pitfall of my teaching: that I already know the answer— a predetermined answer I want my students to come to. Therefore, when I ask the class a question, they are aware that there is an answer in my head I want them to arrive at. This method can stifle students’ voice. So, I stood at the front of the classroom that day, feeling exposed, sight-reading Shakespearean sonnets. With most of the sonnets, I, with the help of the class, could only get to about 75% understanding and accuracy at best. But my confusion — my apparent struggle and frustration in understanding each new sonnet— was key for my students. They felt free to posit their interpretations and even to disagree with me. In each session, a student shared a thought or possibility that not only I had failed to see but was also ultimately accurate. One student couldn’t wipe the smile off her face when she figured out a metaphor that stumped both me and my co-teacher. “This was fun”, she and her classmate said to each other when the bell rang.
So many people never learned to live with harmless discomfort at any point in their lives and holy fuck does it show
“But I wanna know!” You’re gonna have to learn to be ok with not knowing some things, especially when those things involve personal details about strangers that they’re not comfortable sharing.
“But it’s confusing!” If you take the time to educate yourself it’ll no longer be confusing. Otherwise you’re just gonna have to learn to be ok with being confused.
“But it’s weird!” You probably do weird things all the time. Everyone does weird things sometimes. Life goes on.
“But it scares me!” Is it hurting you? No? You’ll be fine. Being scared and being harmed are not always the same thing. Learn to tell the difference and then act accordingly.
“But I want it!” And I want a million dollars. You can’t always get what you want.
Addendum:
"But it makes me uncomfortable!" The world is an uncomfortable place and complete strangers are not required to fix that for you. Learning to endure harmless discomfort is a life skill for existing in public.
"But I don't like it!" There's plenty of things in the world and not all of them are fun or enjoyable or For You. This applies to everyone and we all have to deal with that in a mature fashion.
"But I want to do the thing!" You can't always do what you want. Most people learn this in preschool. Wanting something does not entitle you to be inconsiderate to the people around you.