What the fuck was up with that worm, anyway
what the fuck WAS up with that worm?
what the hell, let's talk about the worm. here's the first scene involving said worm, for those who haven't read godfeels:
basically, at this point in the story, "J" is the residual pre-transition selfhood of June Egbert whose only remaining characteristic is suicidal ideation personified. this chapter, "the shadows left behind," takes place in ideaspace, specifically in June's mind, giving us a glimpse in the bizarre happenstances of his as-yet unacknowledged headmates. the arc of this chapter is all about "J" slowly realizing that they want to live, ultimately fighting against apocalyptic forces to achieve self-instantiation. i joke that they are the secret shonen anime protagonist of godfeels. anyway.
i've gotten a lot of questions about the worm over the years. it shows up one or two more times in the chapter to provide similarly off-putting philosophical dialogue, and then is never mentioned again. people wonder if the worm is a headmate, or a scion of antagonist Epigone, or some other weird thing.
the truth is, i wrote the little bastard to be ambiguous. certainly there's worm imagery elsewhere enough to compel some Connections. but everyone gets so fixated on the worm, they miss the general fabric of ideas that it exists as part of. so let's start from "you're bored and talking to yourself through me" and work our way out from there.
there's a running gag with J about "putting words in people's mouths." it happens a couple times this chapter. here's the first:
to my mind, this is partly a result of the blending between two headmates sharing a brain, and partly an extension of the powers of being A Narrator. Vriska, notably, is not able to this back at J. seemingly no one is, at least not without a lot of help. in saturday 2, when Epigone is making everyone sing the birthday song, J is the only one who shows any resistance. this notion shows up throughout the circus egotistica as well. i mean, really, this facet of J's character is kind of the entire reason that anybody survives the events of chapter 8.
let's remember that waaaaaay back in godfeels 1, when June kind of has a suicide attempt, she does so under the assumption that she won't just die but be retconned from reality altogether, so that no one will remember that she ever existed at all. J is June's suicidal ideation, you recall. so what happens when a person who wants to erase themself from reality decides they want to live? the full answer to that question is a story we're still in the process of telling, but i think it's safe to say that the inverse of erasing yourself from everyone's mind is imposing yourself on everyone's mind. this idea is drawing from a single line in the Epilogues that i can't be bothered to track down right now, where it's implied that John's retcon powers extend far beyond what we understand and might include manipulating reality itself (something that's demonstrated through him forming silly shapes in the clouds at the end of Candy, if i remember correctly).
but let's pare the scope back a little here. there's also the scene in chapter 8 where J is trying to figure out how to un-spaghettify Dave and Dirk (it's a long story), who have been rendered into little more than taut red and orange strings that extend infinitely into the abyss of June's mind. out of ideas, J starts talking through the problem by putting words in their mouths:
but they're not really just talking to themself, are they? even though J knows they're not real, it's like these snap personifications sort of get away from them by tapping into some essential essence of the person they're imitating. like, that doesn't not feel like Dave and Dirk talking, you know?
which gets us at last back around to the worm. what is the worm? well, a worm is a creature that burrows into the earth, exchanging nutrients with the soil. we know that symbols carry real weight in ideaspace, it being a realm of pure metaphor and all. i think it's entirely possible that by imagining a worm, and then putting words in that worm's mouth, J somehow conjures a verbal window into the metaphorical soil of their own mind. into the most primordial of truths about June's metaphysical relationship to retcon. about life and death, hope and despair, yadda yadda yadda. it never stops being J just talking to themself, but that doesn't mean that something else isn't speaking through them as well. "the dream in the dark place" is a pretty loaded phrase in godfeels, after all.
does that answer your question? do you feel like you know what the fuck was up with that worm now? i hope you're just more confused. either way, you're welcome.