My Main Man

My name is Sydney, but you can call me Syd. Surprise me. Snapchat: chubbysyd

[deejay]

[naturalchick22]

This is accurate

[moodyspacebabe-deactivated20180]

Yo… deadASS.

[cliffpantones]

[shamus-mctot]

Shit talking in an intelligent manner.

[drunp-archive-deactivated201711]

[thestirge]

So I heard this story second-hand, many years ago, but the gist was that a friend of a friend lived in what was generally considered a bad neighborhood, because he was a super poor college student and it was what he could afford. He didn’t have any furniture, he just slept on a blanket on the floor and had a milk crate for a chair and like an old wire spool as a table. No TV, nothing in the fridge, no microwave, basically just bare walls and a roof to keep the weather off. So one day he comes home, and there’s a man in his apartment, just standing there, with this look of utter amazement and horror on his face, and he turns to the guy who’s just entered and says, “This your place? ‘cause I broke in to rob you, but shit, man, you ain’t got nothin’. Wait here, I’m’a be right back.” And the burglar left, leaving a puzzled college student alone in his empty apartment. But sure enough, the burglar came back a while later, and brought some friends, and they delivered a table, a couple of chairs, and a small TV. “I think I got you a bed, too, but that might take a couple days.”

So, the poor college student made some friends. And he didn’t ask where they got the stuff.

[benjaminbadpennywho]

Broglar.

[rocket-thee-stallion]

@mylifeisamusicalreference

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

isnt it weird that we cant ride any other animals except horses. like if horses weren’t a thing humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. like riding animals just wouldn’t really be a thing. we should probably be more grateful to horses

[burger-czar-deactivated20180324]

elephants

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

blocked

[toaster-hacker-deactivated20181]

camels

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

extra blocked

[sinfulpercy]

donkeys

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

ultra blocked

[uncertifiedhuman]

that dick

[fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva]

… followed

[wenchyfloozymoo]

[thefreshestowtlook-deactivated2]

Trust.

[judithbuttplug]

[jigglypuffsvevo]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

I love locking my door like…you’re not coming in lmfao

[radiant-moonchild-deactivated20]

This post is honestly so iconic like every time I lock my door I literally think about this

[aymmichurros]

[enters my own room] damn bitch you live like this?

[distinguishedbaloney]

[yui-hirasawa-pregnant-fanfictio]

[duhhvana]

Did he win

[plantigone]

he was eliminated that episode but gordon said his cake tasted good it just looked like shit

[orriculum]

My boss’s first language isn’t English. However, she loves giving inspirational speeches to everyone. I think today she was trying to tell us “don’t just stand around looking pretty”, but what she actually said was “WE DONT HAVE TIME TO BE SEXY”.

[excuse-me-while-i-disappear]

[drunp-archive-deactivated201711]

[godisch]

Me: what do you want to be when you grow up?

6 year old sister: (without hesitation) a cheese puff.

[ilovepeppers-deactivated2019122]

[godisch]

me: is sad

me: remembers that george washington's doctor recommended that he take some time and relax for his health so naturally the most relaxing thing he could think of doing was taking alexander hamilton and thomas jefferson fishing with him which went about as well as you'd expect

me: still sad but now i'm laughing through the pain