zabuza cups the back of gai's neck, palm sliding up to the back of his head, the fuzz of his still-growing hair brushing pleasantly against zabuza's fingers. "i think you look good like this."
Curse Zabuza, and the way his touch and deep voice bid a smile to Gai’s face, even though Gai steadfastly doesn’t believe him. It doesn’t bother him how he looks, though, and especially not when Zabuza looks at him like that, dark eyes blinking slow and sure at him as if there isn’t a worry to be had in the world. Gai tips his head back to lean into his hand and look up at him with open, tender eyes.
“You look good too, Momo-san. Or should I say, Mizukage-sama? Ever-brimming with youth, with your handsome looks!”
He’s teasing, of course. It’s nice. The mid-afternoon light filters through the blinds, yawning across the ward in streaks of gentle contrast. There’s a little more life around him these days.
For some reason, Zabuza feels new to him all over again. Maybe it’s the newfound authority of a fresh kage, a new set in his shoulders that boast the purpose of a man who’s been ready for the role for years now. His official cloak feels premium under Gai’s fingers. He trails his fingers along the edge of it, and peels it open to peer within, smirking up at Zabuza, who rolls his eyes at him, when his bare chest is unveiled beneath.
“Still baring it all even as Mizukage, just as Kakashi said.” A cheeky squeeze for emphasis.
Zabuza swats his hand away and grumbles some lame excuse or another at him, and Gai laughs, and they talk. There is so much to catch up on; the sparse letters are never enough. Zabuza tells him about how Haku’s doing, and the new people Zabuza’s working with now every day. He hears about Zabuza’s daily morning routine, and how he works so late sometimes that he has dinner past nine. In turn, Gai tells him about … well, there’s not much to hospital life, but Gai tells him anyway.
He worries that he’s taking too much of a busy kage’s time, but Zabuza gives no indication whatsoever that it could be the case, never once turns his gaze to the clock across the room. It’s only when the nurse knocks, and walks in with dinner on a tray, that Gai looks out the window, startled to find a dusty evening sky dimming by the minute.
The meal sits before him, stir-fried beef on a bed of rice, with a block of soft tofu and slices of takuan. Gai looks at Zabuza.
“Bring me on a walk, will you?” Gai asks. It will be a strange sight, Maito Gai on a wheelchair, pushed by the newly-minted Mizukage on the street along the hospital, but Gai doesn’t really care. “I want to have dinner with you.”
"hey. enough of that," zabuza says, a hand cupped carefully over kiti's bottom where she's cradled against his chest, "come lay down. your daughter wants to cuddle."
Kakashi finishes four-three-two-one more push ups, and then presses himself back into a child's pose with a soft sigh. From there, he rests his chin on the ground and stares at the pair of them, a small half-smile curling in the corner of his mouth.
Zabuza's hair is flat, sticking to the side of his head. Kiti's hair looks like a little cotton ball, and they're giving him the same wry, sleepy look that says they're unamused, but tolerating his shenanigans.
"My daughter, huh?" He points both index fingers, one at Zabuza and one at the infant. "You have the audacity to sit over there, pot and kettle, denying your part in this. The nerve."
Mock offense doesn't stop Kakashi from gracefully getting to his feet and slipping into the bed with him, throwing an arm and a leg over Zabuza and pressing his face close to hers, brushing his nose against the baby-soft skin of her cheek. She smells like a little alive thing, and she gurgles happily to have the pair of them so close, reaches out and yanks on Kakashi's hair.
"Ow," he mutters, reaching up carefully to take her chubby first in his hand. "Fucking hell- Sorry, shit, excuse me, I mean uh-"
Kiti giggles, releasing his hair so she can put her hands on his cheeks and gum uselessly at his nose, and then drool all over his browline. She is a cute little thing.
Zabuza laughs at him, because he's an asshole. Kakashi pinches his side. Kiti squirms and grabs his hair again, this time to chew on the tail end of it.
"Aw," Kakashi says. "She's so gross. Kitiara, sweetie, you have no idea where I've been. What if I was just rolling around in something dead?"
Her guileless dark eyes blink at him, and then shift to Zabuza, as if to say: Dad, you married this gross idiot? She doesn't drop the end of his ponytail from her mouth. Zabuza snickers, runs his hand over the cotton cloud of her hair. "I think she's teething," he says.
"We'll have to get her a chew toy," Kakashi suggests, deadly serious.
Zabuza's laugh rumbles low in his chest, and Kitiara tries to mimic the sound.
I remember seeing you, my tongue struck dumb / When you first came here from wherever it was you came from / The power in your voice, your rough touch / You keeping care of me, keeping watch
He was a ferocious man. He had been ill-made in the making. He had not been born right, and he had not been helped any by the molding he had received at the hands of society. The hands of society are harsh, and this man was a striking sample of its handiwork. He was a beast - a human beast, it is true, but nevertheless so terrible a beast that he can best be characterized as carnivorous.
he doesn't quite push, because kakashi easily walks backwards with each of zabuza's steps, until he's pressed against the edge of zabuza's unreasonably large desk. he boxes kakashi in with each hand gripping the edge of the desk, leans close enough to drag his nose over the line of kakashi's jaw. "i tried the diplomatic thing. it's not really working out for me." they're both still in their kage robes, and there are three more days of meetings ahead of them. zabuza thinks he might actually go insane.
Kakashi tips his head back, inviting a kiss or a bite or the faint press of Zabuza's five o'clock shadow against the tender skin underneath his jaw. The other man is a solid presence in front of him, boxing him in, crowding into his space like a rock for Kakashi to dash himself upon in the sea. His hands reach out to grip the collar of his cloak, and when Kakashi tugs it open he can't help but laugh.
No shirt.
"Easy access, huh?" Kakashi's hands slide around his waist, up the bare skin of his ribs, and then over his shoulders. "You dress like this for all the handsome folk of Kiri, or is this just for me?"
Zabuza snorts and bites him over the mask right where the skin over his carotid is the thinnest. "Too many layers gets... sticky," he mutters, almost chagrined.
"Mmm..." He'd believe it. The humidity in the Land of Water is near enough to drown in, and even without a shirt, Zabuza's skin is just a little bit sticky. Kakashi tangles a hand in the hair at the back of his head and tugs, just enough to drag Zabuza's face out of his neck, just enough to tug his mask down and press his nose to Zabuza's collarbone, scraping his teeth gently over the skin of his pec as he inhales.
Miasmic chakra, so intense he can actually smell it, just the faint tang of petrichor and the sea, Zabuza's own masculine scent, familiar and comforting and... perhaps wilder than he's used to. He thinks it suits him.
"You smell good," he says, nuzzling against his shoulder with his eyes closed, even as Zabuza's hands make their way into his own coat, trailing down his ribs and hips and settling on top of his thighs. "I- I missed you."
The admission makes Zabuza's hands clench, and Kakashi tries not to be offended that he's surprised he managed to say it. It's hard to be offended, when Zabuza's own admission of "I missed you too," is so gentle. Kakashi bites his own lip, and then draws away just enough to cup his jaw in his hands and kiss him. It's a chaste thing, one that turns filthy and wet when Zabuza slips him some tongue, pressing closer and closer until Kakashi is flat on his back on his desk, and Zabuza's weight is bearing down on him, solid and strong on top of him and between his thighs. Kakashi's arms wind around his shoulders like he might somehow be able to drag him closer.
"Can I-" Zabuza pants against his mouth, long after Kakashi started feeling his cock swelling in his pants against his inner thigh. "I want to-"
"Spit it out," Kakashi interrupts him, just to be a shit, and then squirms with a gasp when Zabuza groans and reaches up to pinch his nipple.
"Don't be a shit, Kakashi, we haven't seen each other in three months, I'm trying to figure out how much we can get away with in here without someone doing a welfare check on us."
Kakashi barks out a laugh, letting his wrist fall against his mouth as he lets himself go pliant on the desk. "Nobody's brave enough for that," he replies. "They either think we're killing each other or know that we're fucking in here-"
The other man's expression turns lecherous, and he asks, "Is that what we're doing? We're gonna fuck in here, Kakashi? You want me to fuck you over the Mizukage's desk, like-"
Fighting the urge to roll his eyes, Kakashi presses his hand to his mouth, and then loses the battle and allows them to roll when Zabuza licks his palm. "Zabuza, I haven't even touched myself since you left," it's even mostly true, since he'd only tried once in the shower and hadn't been able to maintain interest. He's interested now, even if his voice is flat, unimpressed when he continues: "I need you inside me, Mister Mizukage, I want you to bend me over and fuck me until I can feel you in my throat-"
Zabuza's eyes flash, and he nips at Kakashi's fingers hard enough that he draws them away with a quiet yelp. Kakashi shoves at him, and Zabuza grasps his wrists. They grapple, knocking a bunch of papers and pens off his desk in the process, playfully snapping their teeth at each other, kissing, drawing each other close and shoving each other away.
He manages to get Kakashi turned over, belly pressed to the cool wood of his desk, shivering when Zabuza's body, radiating heat in contrast, drapes over his back. He can feel his cock, insistent even though their pants, against his ass. One of his hands pins him by the nape of the neck, and the other slides down to unbutton his pants and shove them halfway down his thighs. Then his fingers shift, trailing up his thigh and along the crease of his cheek, until they find his slit, valiantly damp.
"Excited, are we?" Zabuza snickers.
"Shut the fuck u-uuhh-" Kakashi cuts himself off when Zabuza licks his fingers and then plunges two of them into him. The stretch is on the satisfying end of too-much, and he reaches back to grasp at Zabuza with a quiet sigh. He doesn't know what he's reaching for, really, maybe his ass, his hair, his wrist, anything to hold onto, to pull him closer.
"Mhmm," he sounds thoughtful, and his strong hand leaves the back of his neck to take first Kakashi's right hand, then his left, placing them deliberately on the edge of the desk and curling his fingers over the lip of it on either side of his hips. "You wanna keep those there for me?"
"Not really," he wiggles his hips, trying to encourage him to move his fingers, and gasping when he presses them down. Those fingers circle, slowly, and Zabuza makes a thoughtful noise. He holds them there. Kakashi breaks. "Fiiine, fine, yes, I'll keep them here, I'll-"
"That's good," Zabuza presses a kiss to the nape of his neck and then slides down, kneeling behind him. Nose, first, then tongue, brushing against his lips, his clit. He buries his face in him, and Kakashi's grip on the desk turns white knuckled, and in between licks and sucks and bites to his ass and the insides of his thighs, curling his fingers into him, he tells him how good he tastes, how sweetly he opens up for him, how much he's thought about doing this exact thing during countless meetings, how much he missed him-
Kakashi presses his cheek against the cool wood of the desk, and wishes it was Gai's hot skin beneath him, that his face was pressed to his collarbone hard enough to leave a mark on both of them. His stomach twists. The thought comes right as he clenches on Zabuza's tongue and fingers, orgasm building and buzzing and then crashing over him in a swirling, overwhelming wave. His right hand releases its grip on the edge of the table, and he reaches back to paw at Zabuza's shoulder.
Zabuza draws away and slides a hand slowly up Kakashi's spine, and he asks, "You good?"
Kakashi nods, trying to figure out how to untie his tongue.
"You feel good?"
Oh, he's checking on him. That's nice. He needs to figure out what to say to keep him from stopping- Kakashi might die if he doesn't get Zabuza's cock buried in him. A simple yes would suffice, probably.
"Peachy," he hisses, hips jerking a little as he tries to find some, any stimulation.
"You want me to keep going?"
"I might kill you if you don't," Kakashi's hand returns to the edge of the desk next to his hip. Zabuza nips at the skin of his clothed shoulder.
"Yeah," he huffs in response, standing behind him and pressing his cock between his thighs. He's slick, now, from the orgasm and from Zabuza sloppily eating him out, and the glide of the head against his opening and his clit on a few lazy thrusts makes him twitch from the stimulation. He chases the feeling, grinding back on him, biting his lip when Zabuza murmurs, "Look at you, baby, so hungry for me to slip it in, so wet for me-"
Kakashi lets his forehead fall against the desk when he presses into him in a slow, slick slide. The ache of him, all in one go, is familiar, and it's good, especially on the tail of an orgasm. Zabuza flexes his hips and Kakashi pushes back against him like there's any more of him to be had.
"So good," Zabuza sounds almost lightheaded, and his palm settles flat on the base of Kakashi's spine, sliding up to the nape of his neck, and then the weight of his body follows until he's draped over Kakashi. His arm slips around the front of his throat and tightens just enough to hold him still, just enough that a slow, languid thrust presses his throat further into his arm. Kakashi squirms beneath him, trying to encourage him to fuck him in earnest, and Zabuza obliges him.
Slow, firm thrusts that feel like they knock the wind out of him. Grinding deep at the apex, with Kakashi trying to fuck back into him like he could take more if Zabuza had any to give.
Zabuza's other hand trails from his hip to the tender skin beneath his navel, and he caresses him there, "Do you feel that?" He asks, breathless. "You take me like you were made for me, Kakashi, like it's the easiest thing in the world. I can- here."
He pulls his hand away, and Kakashi releases one small whine, and Zabuza chuckles at him as he grabs his left wrist and takes his hand in his, sliding both of them down to touch his belly. Faint movement, sure, but he thinks-
He presses his hand up into the muscle until he can actually feel him moving inside of him, and another band of tension in him snaps so abruptly that it surprises even him, and Zabuza fucks him through yet another orgasm. His thrusts start to slow, and then stop altogether, stilling himself inside of him and groaning at the feeling of Kakashi shaking apart around and underneath him. He starts to pull out, but Kakashi makes a noise of protest.
"Oh?" He sounds smug, and Kakashi thinks about trying to smack him on the arm or something but it sounds... like a lot of effort, and Zabuza still has his arm around his throat and he's starting to squeeze a little as he rolls his hips, grinding into him.
"Zabuza..." His voice trembles, and his hand slides from his belly down to where he's stretched around him. He's almost too sensitive, but the overwhelming sensation of him inside and surrounding him and the hard, bruising press of the desk against his hips grounds him, in a way.
He can't be anywhere else because Zabuza demands that he's here.
"What is it, baby? Anything," Zabuza whispers into the nape of his neck, mouthing at his shoulder and brushing his teeth against his skin in little sharp-pinpricks. His hips continue to roll, brushing so far up inside of him that he feels like he can hardly breathe from it. "Tell me what you want, I'll-"
Kakashi can feel his flush, running from his nose to his cheeks to the tips of his ears. The back of his neck, down his chest, hidden by his shirt that's suddenly too-hot. He reaches back, clawing at Zabuza's lower back, his ass. "Shut- shut up. I want you to keep going, Zabuza, I want you to, um."
He loses track of what he's saying, partially from embarrassment and partially because Zabuza has started up another lazy, even series of strokes. Like they have all the time in the world. Like they don't have a dozen aides waiting for them in the conference room next door, like they don't have a million things to iron out between their villages, like they aren't missing a third of themselves.
Focus. Sensation.
Zabuza's thrusts have picked up speed, and the burn of sensitivity blurs the lines between pleasure and pain. He chases it, that intensity, craves it. Misses it when it's gone, misses that Zabuza is the one doing it to him.
"I want you to..." Kakashi tries again valiantly, "F-finish inside of me." He laughs outright when Zabuza's hips stutter, like they do every time Kakashi asks him for it. "And I want you to kiss m-"
He doesn't even get to finish his sentence before Zabuza is hauling him up by the arm around his throat, pulling him away from the desk and fucking into him, pressing his cheek to his until Kakashi turns into him to seek out his mouth. The kiss is more teeth than lips or tongue, more sharing huffed breaths between them than anything else. Zabuza's brows are pinched, his eyes half lidded, and Kakashi tries to burn the sight of him- a decade older, with crow's feet and new scars and a charming scattering of grey hairs, new since he last saw him- the way the sharingan might have.
"What.." Zabuza pants against his lips, laughing. "What the hell are you staring at?"
"You," Kakashi answers him honestly, his voice warm. "I'm staring at you because I- Ah. Because I love you."
Zabuza moans, and his rhythm stutters and then ceases. His hips roll in lazy, grinding circles that make Kakashi gasp as he finishes, and his hand slips from his hip to the skin under his navel once more. Kakashi shivers, and gently, carefully, Zabuza eases up the grip on his throat. Kakashi crosses his arms over the few remaining papers on his desk and settles a sweaty cheek against them, face half-turned toward Zabuza, a crooked grin settling on his lips. The other man slumps against him until his forehead is pressed between Kakashi's shoulder blades. "I love you too," he murmurs, hands pressing into his ribs possessively. "Fuck. I love you so much. Missed you."
"Sap," Kakashi mutters, shuddering as Zabuza pulls his softening cock out of him and digs a thumb carefully into a knot at the small of his back. "I missed you-" Zabuza's thumb slips inside of him and he jolts. "No, enough, mercy-" They're both laughing, and Zabuza settles his hand back on his sweaty flank.
"What happened?" He asks, his tone nothing but a tease. "Done after a single round?"
Kakashi snorts, pressing his hands to the desk and using the leverage to push both himself and the useless man behind him back to standing. Zabuza hooks a chin over his shoulder, his arms circling around his waist. Kakashi informs him: "What happened? We aren't in our twenties anymore, and we are supposed to be doing... something. I think we have jobs?"
"Ah," Zabuza says, snickering into his shoulder. "Fuck 'em."
"Them too?" Kakashi rolls his eyes. "I don't know if I have it in me. Let me put my pants back on, Zabuza, and when we get back to your place tonight I'm going to-"
Waves crashed all around and near your body / The waves came all over you / And I saw the sky reflected on the ocean / Deadly blue
chatter: do they like to talk during the act? if so what do they like to talk about? is it just dirty talk or something different?
zabuza is a yapper in his day to day, and that absolutely translates into when he's having sex. it can range from mindless dirty talk when the pleasure is mounting, or more deliberate talking to get his partner worked up. he likes praising and degrading and teasing and all of that. he simply enjoys talking and seeing the way his voice and words rile someone up.
erotica: do they read or watch it? does it get them in the mood? do they create it themselves?
he doesn't read erotica regularly or anything. he might have checked out a novel or two, but it's not something he particularly cares for. he likes to make fun of the stories kakashi reads, but he's absolutely not opposed to recreating something if it sparks enough interest. someone would likely have to bring that to his attention though.
jousting: do they like having more than one object or person inside of them? if so do they prefer toys or just multiple partners? are they curious about it?
he's pretty game for anything under the right circumstances. it isn't something he's necessarily looking for, but if the moment is right then he's down for it. he definitely enjoys the reverse of this, tag teaming someone else who's desperate for it.
zones: favorite places they like to be touched? are some less obvious than others? any places they absolutely hate being touched?
zabuza likes a sweeping touch to his hip or lower back. the ghost of a feeling that makes his skin tingle. same with his inner thighs. he's not really a fan of anything near this throat, but again, under the right circumstances (love) he's game for anything. for casual instances, he'd rather not have anything near his throat.
A - Affection: How affectionate are they during sex? Is it different with people they're romantically involved with? Can they sleep with people they aren't?
B - Body: Are they into a specific physique? Why or why not? Are they just preferences or complete turn offs?
C - Chatter: Do they like to talk during the act? If so what do they like to talk about? Is it just dirty talk or something different?
D - Dominance: Are they into those types of power dynamics? Or do they like to stick to whose topping and bottoming? If they are into it why? If they aren't why not?
E - Erotica: Do they read or watch it? Does it get them in the mood? Do they create it themselves?
F - Food: Do they believe certain foods can be aphrodisiacs? If so what foods are like that for them? Do they like using food in the bedroom or is it too messy?
G - Group sex: Have they ever tried it? Would they ever want to try it if they haven't? If they don't enjoy it why not?
H - Humiliation: Are they into it? Why or why not? How far will they go? Do they enjoy being de-humanized or is it more being made fun of?
I - Intensity: Do they like intense scenes? Or are they more a slow and take their time kind of person?
J - Jousting: Do they like having more than one object or person inside of them? If so do they prefer toys or just multiple partners? Are they curious about it?
K - Kiss and Tell: Do they talk about their sex life to others? If they do do they go into detail or are they more casual about it? Do they share photos with other people or are those private?
L - Licking: Do they enjoy using their tongue on their partners or is it too gross? If so what are their favorite places to use their tongue?
M - Masturbation: Is it a part of sex for your muse? Or is it something completely different? Do they enjoy watching their partner or being watched?
N - Nope: Do they enjoy orgasm denial or do they want to see how many times they can make their partner cum? Somewhere in-between?
O - Open: Do they enjoy having things in their mouth? If so what are their favorite oral fixations? (fingers, toys, giving oral, etc.)
P - Preference: Does size really matter to your muse? Whether it be for others or toys in general. Do they have a favorite type of toy they like to use? If so is it the same to use on other people?
Q - Quiet: Do they enjoy trying to see how long their partner can last without making a sound? Do they enjoy loud or quiet partners?
R - Risk: Are they into some risky kinks? (breath play, exhibitionism, blood play, etc.) If so what are their favorites? Do they practice them safely?
S - Suspension: Are they into being suspended like on a swing or during rope play? Or if not, what's the highest place they've ever had sex?
T - TMI: Your opportunity to talk about any dirty thing you want to talk about with your muse. Could be kinks they like or just facts.
U - Underwear: Do they enjoy lingerie or dressing up for their partner? Or is it too much of a hassle? Favorite garments to wear? Do they ever go without underwear?
V - Violation: Are there any kinks your muse flat out won't do or even people they know? Are bringing them up enough to turn your muse away from a potential partner for good? Any pet names get them like that?
W - Water: Do they enjoy shower sex or anywhere else that's wet like a pool or hot tub? Is it too awkward?
X - X Ray: What's going on under your muse's clothes? Do they have any special scars or places they like to be touched or avoided? Describe their physique and anything else you'd like to expand on.
Y - Yes: Do they have any specific turn ons? Things that will automatically make your muse say yes to sleeping with someone else. If not what are some other things that get them in a more romantic mood? Lighting? Dinner?
Z - Zones: Favorite places they like to be touched? Are some less obvious than others? Any places they absolutely hate being touched?
"you gonna ever give me back my shirt? or my sweatpants? or that one sweater? seriously, where the hell do you keep hiding all my clothes?"
@godmist / there's a patch of sunlight in my room, on the carpet where i held you for a moment in june
"Which shirt? Which sweatpants?" Gai is smiling through the kiss, teeth knocking into Zabuza's as he surges forward against him, but Zabuza holds him back with a hand on his chest, and shoves him down on the mattress before clambering on him. Gai lands with a playful 'oof'.
"Seriously, where the hell do you keep hiding all my clothes?"
"It's not like you wear them," Gai counters, dragging his nails down Zabuza's midriff, and it's as far as he's going to get in terms of admitting that he is absolutely hoarding them and never intends to return a single piece. What was the Mizukage doing walking around topless all the time, anyway, baring all of that goodness for everyone, for free?
They're all in Konoha, of course -- his clothes. Folded neatly and camouflaged in his own drawer as if they've always belonged there: two of his tank tops, a shirt, the sweatpants, and that sweater he mentioned. They smell like him -- or Gai thinks they do, and looking through his drawer and letting his fingers rifle through Zabuza's clothes makes Gai feel that he isn't so far. Like he'd be in the next room. Like this place was his home, too.
It's not. Not really. Not for now.
Not in the same way he'd given up his whole life for Kiri, not in the same way he'd left Konoha to make right the things he'd wanted to make right for a decade now, not in the same way his heart bled for the village he'd grown up in.
What was it he'd said before he'd left the second time? Borrowing some time from the present, baby, but I'll make it up to you. I promise.
Well, Gai is here now in Kiri with him, and 'home' has morphed again, pieces of it untangling and shifting and resettling in something new and mildly uncomfortable, and all too transient. The relieving pinch of Zabuza's teeth over the skin of his collarbone is counterbalanced by the uncertain way he noses over his scarred veins, and the tender kisses over the circular embossments down his torso.
Home is redefined here with Zabuza, in the way he'd installed ramps into his office, his home -- you'll be staying a while, after all.
'Staying'.
The word hadn't sat quite right with him, but still the smile had grown on his face in excitement, and the thought of settling in Kiri beyond a mere few days had stirred something within him.
Gai is fumbling with Zabuza's pants, and he doesn't know if it's because the nerves on his fingertips are screaming static or because he is trembling from impatience, from weeks of missing the warm press of Zabuza's body to his. Zabuza takes over with a laugh, shucks his pants off and then, then Gai is looping an arm around his neck to draw him down, flush against himself. They're pressed together neck to neck, chest to chest, hip to hip, legs weaved around each other and Gai wants more; he wraps his arm around Zabuza's lower back and tugs, rolling his hips forward as if he could press himself any closer to him.
"I missed you so much," Gai says in a breathless murmur, and the following words spill out of his lips before he can think twice:
"Kakashi should be here with us."
But it's true, and Gai tries not to think too hard about the fact that it's probably a little bit of a relief for Gai to be gone a while longer, just so he can get Hokage shit done without having to worry too much about Gai. Zabuza grips Gai's jaw hard, and Gai focuses his gaze on him again. "We'll just have to make it up to him, hm?"
The force of his conviction brings the smile back to Gai's lips. Zabuza has a way of doing that. "Yeah. Yeah."
The flowers made the air boil. / The boiling air made me think of you a while. / I did not come here to suffer.
The astringent smell of hospital makes his head spin, but that might also be the sight before him: Gai, bandaged and hooked up to several machines, the stitches in his own chest aching and his dead eye throbbing because he feels like he hasn't slept a wink since they'd pulled him from the field. Gai's hand is still like a corpse, cold in his own, and sometimes he wonders what would happen if he squeezed until the bones in it shattered like glass in his grip. It probably wouldn't be that hard, he thinks. They're practically sponges, according to the medics. He bets he could squeeze them out of Gai's hands like roasted garlic or-
The astringent smell of the hospital also hides Zabuza's approach until he hears him purposely scuff his feet outside the door, flickering his heavy, miasmic chakra to announce his presence to a distracted Kakashi. He thinks he might be cranky, because he considers tossing a kunai at his head just to make him dodge it anyway.
The door slides open. Kakashi turns to face him.
"Hey," Zabuza calls out gruffly, closing the door behind him. "Moved to a private room in the ICU, huh? He must be some kind of big shot."
"Yeah," Kakashi replies flatly, eyeing him. He's dressed for travel. Something twists and folds over itself in his chest. He grits his teeth, takes a breath, and forces himself to sound flat-calm, unbothered, slightly friendly. "I said it was vital for my focus, gonna do a lot of paperwork in here. Don't think I needed to add the last part, I just forgot I was..." In charge now. It made the administrator he'd pulled aside look at him like he was an idiot, or worse, something to be pitied, and he'd almost told them to forget it. "Do you think he'll be pissed at me for asking that he gets special treatment?"
"Has Gai ever been pissed at you?" Zabuza snorts- the way he shifts his weight in the doorway, the moment's hesitation before he steps forward once, twice, three times, sure strides as if he knows exactly how welcome he is in this space, and he settles his hands on Kakashi's shoulders. Squeezes him, a little, and Kakashi tries not to shake apart under his palms.
"Umm..." Kakashi bites his lip, sighs from his nose, and replies: "Not for long, he's not that smar-"
Zabuza shakes him once, sharply, but doesn't say anything. Shame curls in his throat, and Kakashi covers his face with his hands with a long sigh. He doesn't apologize, and Zabuza doesn't ask him to.
After a moment, Zabuza runs a hand over the back of his head. "I'm leaving this afternoon, you know."
Kakashi, afraid of the thing crawling in his throat, doesn't pull his face from his hands. He nods.
"Supposed to be at the gate in an hour. Didn't want to..."
Leave without saying goodbye, Kakashi knows he doesn't finish the sentence because it sounds like an ending. It is an ending, he thinks, but the ending has been a week long, or maybe years in the making. Maybe it was always going to be this: another parting, another five, ten, fifteen years with an ocean between them.
Zabuza is too stubborn to admit that it is an ending, too stubborn to admit aloud that they're both choosing duty over each other, over Gai, because that's all they have ever been capable of doing. Kakashi resents himself for it, and he resents Zabuza and his gentle hands and the sharp curve of his wicked smile and the warmth radiating from his chest so intensely that it feels like a frightening contrast to Gai, laying silent and still on the hospital bed in front of them. Zabuza's thumbs dig into the tender flesh of his shoulders, and Kakashi forces himself to let go of Gai's hand with a sharp inhale.
"Yeah," he says. "I get it. Give us our kisses goodbye, I'll walk you to the gate."
"Alright," Zabuza steps around the chair as he stands, brushing his hand over Gai's forehead like there's hair to be brushed, and rests his lips against his brow tenderly. He stays bent over there for a long, long moment, long enough for Kakashi to start counting the knobs of his spine. Zabuza reaches for the hand that Kakashi had released, carefully presses the back of it to his cheek, and Kakashi focuses then on counting the scars on his back, feeling like the worst kind of voyeur.
He stares at the scars and pretends he can't hear Zabuza whispering to Gai like the man can hear him, the plea for his health, for him to look after Kakashi, the promise to make him proud.
The doctor had just told them a day ago that he was likely to pull through, but they wouldn't know how intact his mind was or what his body might be capable of until he woke. If he ever woke. He'd spent twenty fucking years making promises like this to a grave stone, and look at all that got him.
Kakashi turns away, steps toward the table against the wall and fusses with some of the cards, the ribbons on the vases full of pretty flowers that will die long before Gai makes it out of this room, shuffles a few papers he'd asked Shikamaru to bring over from his office, and recognizes distantly that he doesn't like himself very much, and that he is very small, and very cruel. He's cruel to himself, and he's cruel to the people he loves.
He licks his teeth, bites the inside of his cheek, and wills his hands not to shake. He does not listen to the sweet, sad things that Zabuza whispers to Gai. Still he hears when the other man straightens, shifts, and reaches out for him. He turns as he does, slipping close to him as Zabuza wraps his arms around his waist in a loose embrace. Kakashi's hands trace up his ribs, over his pecs, thumbs catching on the rings in his nipples- Zabuza's breath catches, and his gaze flickers toward Gai on the bed, but he says nothing. Kakashi's hands settle on his cheeks, bare already, the bandages gathered at his throat. He thinks Zabuza's eyes are a little red rimmed.
"And you," Zabuza murmurs, still under Kakashi's hands.
"Me," Kakashi agrees tiredly.
"You'll be pissed if I remind you to take care of yourself," Zabuza must read the fission of irritation that runs through him, because he laughs, pulling a hand from his waist to tug his mask down around his chin and then pressing his lips to Kakashi's. Saliva stings on skin that's sensitive from being chapped and bitten, but the feeling grounds him, and Kakashi's hand slip from his cheeks to tangle in the hair at the back of his head. The kiss is slow, languid, shifting slowly from chaste to filthy as Kakashi tries to put the thrashing animal in his chest in a stranglehold.
He starts when his ass hits the edge of the table- he didn't even realize he'd been backing up, like he was fleeing, like he was seeking something solid behind his back so Zabuza could better crush himself into him like he's trying to get under his skin. Zabuza chases him, like he always does. The table bows, and he draws away from the kiss with a choked, gulping kind of laugh. Nothing is funny. His gaze slips to Gai, and Zabuza's follows, guilt twisting in his lips.
"Hey," he calls softly, shifting away from the table and drawing Zabuza closer as he settles his back against the door. "Please, can you-"
"Yeah," Zabuza replies, even though Kakashi isn't really sure what he's even asking for. He crowds him, his hands slipping up under Kakashi's shirt to rest against the tender skin of his waist. The stitches in his chest twinge as he presses close to him, but Kakashi chases the sensation, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and dragging him into another searing kiss. His thigh shifts, and he hooks his leg around Zabuza's, pressing their calves together and rubbing himself against his thigh. Zabuza moans, a quiet thing, and pulls away to blink at him. Turns his head to look at Gai, and then back to Kakashi. "Do you want to go back to-"
"No," Kakashi replies flatly. He doesn't want to go back to the apartment. It's empty, because it's a hasty construction they've been staying in since the village was destroyed. It's cold, and now almost devoid of Zabuza's things, and he'd just have to come right back here after and- "But I want, um-" Zabuza starts to fall to his knees but Kakashi's grip on his hair keeps him standing. "No, stop, I want-"
Zabuza's brow pinches, but he squeezes his waist, and Kakashi shivers. "What do you want, baby," he asks, voice low. Strong, like he intends to give whatever it is Kakashi asks of him.
I want you to stay.
I want him to wake up.
I want to hide and never come out.
I want the world from both of you.
I want you to stay.
Asking for something not within his power to give would ruin their little game, this taut string of promise between them, where they can pretend they will do anything the other asks of them.
Kakashi swallows a whine, draws his face close again and kisses him with his mouth open, tongue and teeth forward. His hips roll against Zabuza's thigh, and he can feel the other man's cock stiffening. The low groan in Zabuza's throat makes his cheeks heat, and the feel of his hand slipping down his back, beneath his waistband, squeezing his ass makes him gasp into his mouth.
"Well?" Zabuza asks, slipping his other hand up to thumb over his nipple, his shirt riding up where it catches on his wrist. Kakashi shudders at the rush of cool air and the feel of his hot hand brushing tender skin. "Are you going to use your words?"
"Shut up," he snaps at him, teeth dangerously close to his cheek.
A bark of laughter muffled into the hollow of Kakashi's throat, a nip of his teeth enough to make the thin skin smart, and a question: "Is that what you want?"
"I w-want you to," Kakashi's hands slide from his hair down to his shoulders, down his chest, curling in the front of his waistband. Zabuza's sharp inhale encourages him to finish: "I want you to fuck me," he lifts his left hand to his mouth and licks his palm, and then fumbles a little to stick it down Zabuza's pants to take him in hand. "I- I wanna be able to feel you for days."
He feels Zabuza's dick twitch in his grip. "Oh, is that all?" He asks, because he's a bastard.
Kakashi bares his teeth at him, but he just raises a brow, unfazed, his hips slowly starting to thrust into Kakashi's hand. His grip is probably a little tight, his hand a little too dry, but Zabuza hisses like it's exactly what he needs. His face heats further, the flush creeping out over his ears and down his throat, and falteringly he says, "I- I want something to. Remember you by. I want to feel something-" That's not very sexy, is it. He tries to switch tracks, but his mind is empty of anything except for the solid heat of Zabuza's body pressing him against the door, the sound of the machines behind him keeping Gai alive, the glimpse of the top of his head he can see over his shoulder. All he knows is that there is something ravenous inside of him that is used to being fed, and it has grown fat and happy and insatiable, and he needs some ache to press on in the coming days that will remind him that he is still alive-
"Kakashi," he calls softly, pressing his nose to the hollow of his throat again and sighing. "It's okay. I've got you. I get it."
Do you?
He doesn't ask.
Zabuza keeps his face tucked against Kakashi's throat while he fumbles with his belt, opening his pants all the way and shoving them down his thighs. He's still a little soft, and Kakashi wonders what part of this situation is least sexy to him, but he doesn't ask. Zabuza's hands shuck his shirt up around his armpits, then off over his head, then trail down his chest to shove his pants down to mid thigh, just enough to-
And then he bites him.
Zabuza sinks his teeth into the meat where his neck meets his shoulder with enough ferocity to make Kakashi thrash between him and the door, which rattles in the frame behind him. Zabuza releases him and laves the flat of his tongue over the marks his teeth have left, angry red on pale skin. They're still for a moment, waiting to hear if any footsteps approach the door at the noise, but the hallway remains empty. The only think Kakashi can hear is the sound of the machines in the room with them, his own racing heart, Zabuza's ragged breaths.
Kakashi tips his face towards him and Zabuza kisses him again, his fingers sliding between Kakashi's thighs and pressing up and into him- he's mostly dry, and they haven't really had sex since the war kicked off. The sharp ache of penetration makes him hiss, but he grips Zabuza's wrist when he starts to pull away and grinds down on his fingers. "Don't stop-" he hisses, and Zabuza presses his forearm to his throat and pins him to the door like that, shushes him. Kakashi squirms, and then stills, lightheaded.
"Shh," Zabuza murmurs in his ear, lifting the hand that had just been between his legs and slipping three fingers into his mouth, pressing down on his tongue and sliding down toward the back of his throat. He doesn't clamp his teeth around the digits, and Zabuza slowly starts to thrust his fingers until he gags, until his eyes start to water, until his fingers are soaked with saliva. Kakashi's gaze is locked on his face, watching his serious expression twitch with every quiet gag, every soft sigh he pulls out of Kakashi. He draws his hand away and slips two fingers back into him, and Kakashi's hips twitch.
"Zabuza," his voice already sounds wrecked, and he can see Zabuza's face shift into something a little more smug. "Come on, I want you to fuck me, I-"
"I'm going to fuck you," Zabuza presses an open mouthed kiss to his jaw, dropping his arm from his throat to hitch Kakashi's thigh around his waist. His palm grinds against his clit, and Kakashi drags him closer, hips flush, his hand pressed between them and his cock resting at full mast against the tender skin of his lower belly. Zabuza laughs, tells him to relax, pulls his fingers out of him and takes himself in hand, rubbing the head over his clit and making them both hiss. "So impatient-"
"If a nurse walks in we're going to fall on top of-" Kakashi's grumble is cut off when Zabuza feeds his cock into him. He hisses, because saliva doesn't exactly make the world's greatest lube, but the friction and the stretch are enough sensation to make him think he might actually be feeling this for days. His hands clutch at Zabuza's shoulders, his jaw, his upper arms, his chest, and Zabuza is careful to keep his thrusts shallow to start out, no matter how much Kakashi tries to pull him close and drag the full length of him inside.
"Would you like that?" Zabuza asks, hands clenched so hard around his hips that he hopes he'll bruise around it- that'll make getting the stitches in his chest pulled pretty fucking awkward, but he's done it himself before.
"Wh- what?" He asks, half-focused on trying to figure out how to get Zabuza to sink into him to the hilt, half-focused on the thought of pulling out his own stitches in a few days. The door is cold at his back, flimsy. There should be another warm body there, holding him up, murmuring into his ear on his blind side and-
"If the nurse came in and caught us," Zabuza snickers, because he already knows the answer.
"Not particularly," Kakashi drawls.
"Ah, better make this quick then," he hikes Kakashi's other leg up around his hips, and groans when Kakashi uses that leverage to drag him close. Both of them hiss at the friction, and Kakashi rolls his hips, chasing the intensity of sensation.
"I can't believe you don't have lube," he says, instead of something sexy, or something romantic, and he receives a bite to his collarbone for his trouble that tells him Zabuza wasn't exactly thinking they would fuck in the hospital, let alone in Gai's room.
Kakashi drags Zabuza off his collarbone by the hair and drags him into a toothy kiss so he can draw his eyes away from the still form at Zabuza's back. They grind against each other, Zabuza's hands roaming his chest, careful to avoid the stitches, Kakashi raking his nails along his sides like he can pull him closer, until he loosens up and the friction lessens enough for Zabuza to thrust into him.
The pace quickens, and Kakashi's head falls back against the door. He stares at the ceiling instead of at the rest of the room, and then he closes his eyes. Zabuza's teeth sink into his throat at the invitation, and the jolt tears an unexpected, painful orgasm out of him. He doesn't make a sound except for a small wheeze, and Zabuza's hips stutter at the way his body tenses up.
"Keep going," Kakashi snarls at him, hips twitching away from the sensation even as he tries to fuck himself back onto him. "Come on, Zabuza. Don't you want to finish inside me? I want you to, I want to walk you to the gate, sticky with it, I want- I want-"
He bites his tongue so hard that it bleeds to keep himself from telling him he wants him to stay, that he would do anything to make him stay.
Zabuza's fingers trail down to his clit, trace the tender skin where he's stretched around his cock, and Kakashi squirms and gasps at the overstimulation. He groans into Kakashi's neck, his thrusts growing sloppy as he nears his own end. The sudden gush of warm-wet, Zabuza's trembling thighs, the soft sigh all tell him he finally came, and Kakashi feels his toes curl through another orgasm as Zabuza fucks him with his softening cock, like he's trying to milk every last drop into him.
"Oh no, Mister Mizukage," Kakashi drawls. "I'm not on birth control and we didn't use protection. Will you take responsibility?"
Zabuza's cock twitches valiantly even as he huffs out a breathless laugh, but through some mutually and silently agreed upon pact, they untangle themselves from the other. Kakashi leans back against the door with his palms pressed flat to it, and can't help but think that he should be leaning against a muscled chest and feeling up Gai's hard, powerful thighs, asking if he wants him to blow him, or directing him through fucking Zabuza, or-
But he's laying on the bed, still. Kakashi counts two machine breaths before Zabuza returns to his side, kissing him softly, wiping him with a tissue, rolling his shirt back down and sliding his pants back up his thighs. He leaves them unbuttoned, they kiss lazily for a while.
Kakashi sighs and murmurs "We'll miss you," against his lips.
"I know," Zabuza pulls away from him just to press their foreheads together, his arms wrapped around Kakashi's shoulders. "I'll miss you both too."
Neither of them apologize to the other. What would be the point?
"You're late to the gates," Kakashi informs him after a few minutes of resisting the urge to try and crawl inside of his ribs, carried in his chest like an extra lobe in his lungs. "And you look like you got mauled by a bear."
"Nah," Zabuza tugs on his hair. "More like a wolf- and besides, I'm not ashamed."
That's good, Kakashi thinks he's ashamed enough for both of them. "I'll walk you to the-"
Zabuza shakes his head, cuts him off: "You can stay here. I know it's..." As one, their gaze slides back to Gai. Kakashi can't make him look at him too long. His eye shifts, locks on the light filtering in through the curtains, the pattern they make on the floor. Zabuza is brave enough to keep looking. To take him in, the mechanical rise and fall of his chest. "I'll see you soon. Both of you," he switches tracks, cupping Kakashi's cheek and waiting for him to look at him. "I love you."
"... I loveyou too."
I saw you standing near the water / And wondered how long I'd be paying for one dumb mistake. / The sight of you was really something else. / But I don't know what that something else was.
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