demon / born.

when  i  was  your  age,  my  hands   were  already  blood  -  soaked.

[sakuraboobs-deactivated20151219]

“You are annoying as always”  

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[godmist]

see. sometimes you just have to let them figure it out themselves.

[godmist]

❝ compliment sandwich: your form is excellent, momo-kun. you are improving. however, ❞ haku’s tone is mild as they gently but firmly grab zabuza’s wrist, pushing the top of his sword into the dirt. ❝  we are not after blood, we’re after information.  the only weapon we use today is infiltration. ❞ // for baby zabuza and adult haku ehdhxbdjsndn

zabuza bristles at the use of the nickname.

it’s his fault, really, for barking at haku for using his given name and expecting them not to eventually resort to something like this. zabuza doesn’t like the way his name sounds on haku’s lips. like it’s special. like it matters. like he matters. yet here he is, caught right back in that cycle, and zabuza can’t be imagining the tone haku takes when they say his name.

worse than that, haku is still at it with this whole compliment sandwich thing, no matter how hard zabuza tries to sully it, and he idly wonders if haku was sent with the sole purpose of driving him out of his mind.

“blood gets information,” zabuza sneers, but he doesn’t stop haku from gripping his arm and directing his blade to the ground. it feels like something he should unpack, but the prickle of annoyance beneath his skin wins out in the end. “why waste time hoping they say what we want them to?”

haku makes zabuza question things. makes him rethink and rework the ideas in his head, makes him talk about them, and it isn’t something he’s used to doing. he didn’t rethink or rework or talk about his decision to slaughter the graduation ceremony, and he got what he wanted. he doesn’t regret it.

(he doesn’t. he doesn’t regret it. he doesn’t regret it.)

all the inquiry gets zabuza is that particular look that usually means haku’s going to explain something to him, and he’d really rather not hear it, so he shakes his head with a long, heavy sigh. “whatever. what’s the plan, then?”

it isn’t that much, but it’s a good start // @icecurse.

[godmist]

he isn't saying anything without a lawyer present.

[godmist]

a lot of stuff has fallen apart for me in the last week, so i've been super down and havent had much energy to write. but i'm starting to feel a lot better, and i feel like i finally have the motivation to get some stuff done. i'm gonna be working on the multi (you can follow @falsedream, the blog is very bare bones right now as i work on pages) and getting stuff started over there. thank you for your patience <3

[conalola]

Narutaugust day 5:

Haku and Zabuza~

[godmist]

good evening friends i would like you to know that DILF zabuza has a thick beard and greying hair and he is So Sexy

[godmist]

at this point i might have to dust off the multi

[godmist]

guys i have been in the thick of the worst zabuza x yagura psychosis and let me tell u. they are Tragic

[godmist]

"Dad," Kai's voice is quiet in the dark. He's not afraid, because he has no reason to be. "Dad, come here. There's something out here."

zabuza steps forward into the thicket of mist with ease. he and kai have been trailing it for hours, water collecting against their skin with every step. they've never been this far out before, near the seas housing the essence of kiri, because while the mist lives beneath kai's skin, it shrouds a playful wolf instead of a demon. it lends its power to the moon and the wind and the leaves. but the mist calls to him now, and zabuza lets him find his way into it.

it's impossible to see the sun setting, but night falls over the area and kai complains about being hungry. they stumble across a small cabin deep in the woods, barely visible through the fog. it's dilapidated but still standing, emptied of anything useful but good enough for shelter. zabuza starts a fire and they share a rabbit kai had chased down several miles back, and tells him stories about getting lost in the mountains and following the mist back out.

"how could you find anything? it's impossible to see," kai says, doubt coloring his tone but leaving him no less intrigued by his father's words.

"the same way you found this place."

"by luck?"

zabuza snorts quietly, that sort of laughter so genuine you try to stifle it, only to sound like you're choking in the end. kai scowls at him, tells him not to laugh, and zabuza shakes his head. "you could say luck, if that's what you believe. i've been to this cabin before."

kai pauses at that, head tipping to one side, so reminiscent of the ninken he's grown up with that it almost makes zabuza laugh again. disgustingly fond, hopelessly endeared. he never gave much thought to how much pride he'd find in the small things. "i've walked through here my entire life. it's different every time, the roads and paths, but the destinations are always the same. like this cabin," zabuza's arm swings out, gesturing to the space that probably only has a few good years left in it.

"you must have led me here," kai says, with the pinch in his brow he gets when he can't explain something.

"or maybe you got lucky," zabuza says, lips ticking up in a smile.

kai groans and swats at him, pushing himself up from the rickety chair he'd been sitting in. "alright, i'm going to bed. i can barely see anything during the day, traveling at night would be dumb."

zabuza hums in agreement, following suit and ruffling kai's hair as he passes him by. he's only met with minimum grumbling for his efforts, because kai only tries to play cool when kitiara is around. she's in a phase of thinking neither he or kakashi are interesting. zabuza thinks it's giving kai psychic damage.

sleep comes quickly to zabuza once he's settled on one of the bedmats they'd packed with them. the air is cold and humid, comfortable in an almost nostalgic way. kai doesn't complain about it, and zabuza wonders if it's the momochi blood in him that barely even registers the chill.

zabuza rouses a few hours later to the sound of his son's voice, a delicate whisper that raises no alarm. still, he comes to quickly, protective for all of a second until he makes out kai's shape in the low light through the broken window. the moon cuts through the mist and casts a glow along the slope of his nose, so much like kakashi that zabuza feels a pang behind his ribcage.

"dad," kai calls for him, "come here. there's something out there."

zabuza wouldn't be surprised. there are all sorts of things that lurk in shadowy depths, seeking shelter where they can't be found. the air hasn't tried to choke them any more than they can handle, so zabuza doesn't think they've angered anyone tonight.

kai is already at the door when zabuza gathers his bearings enough to meet him outside, following him through the wet grass. near the ashes of the fire they had put out earlier are an array of strange items. a dark stone with a crackling burst of white up the side, the coins of a currency zabuza's never seen before, and stuck in soft dirt: two taiji swords, with two protruding blades at the top and bottom. something sings beneath his skin. kai kneels next to the items with a contemplative look on his face. "do you think someone is here?"

zabuza knows no one is here. no one can breathe in this mist the way the momochi can. "they're offerings," he says, and kai looks at him incredulously.

"offerings? like— what? to who?" he pauses for a moment, and zabuza knows he's thinking about the stories. myths of sea gods and a kiri that used to exist beneath the waters. a clan erased and forgotten and kept alive only through whispers of memories. a cleaver blade gifted to a boy with nothing but rage filling his soul. zabuza's walked this mist for years in search of something. history seems doomed to repeat itself. "... to us?" kai asks, hesitant, rising to his feet and stepping over to zabuza.

"to you, i'd say," zabuza responds. he's been playing a broken game of telephone with these trees for decades, but he knows one thing for certain: the blades will always choose. the same blades he'd buried in the earth in these very thickets years ago. zabuza gestures towards the swords. "kiba. the lightning blades," he says by way of explanation.

kai's eyes widen, head snapping between the offerings and zabuza in disbelief. "one of the seven swordsman blades? how?" despite his confusion, there is a fire building in his eyes that zabuza recognizes all too well, and with the moon still high in the sky, blanketed in the mist, he seems more alive than ever. "the, what— how did they just appear like that? is the mist alive or something?"

"don't you think so?" zabuza asks in turn, patient and gentle, something he never thought he'd be capable of. "isn't that why we're out here tonight? tell me, what do you feel?"

kai breathes in deeply, chest expanding with it, and he tips his head back to look into a sky he can barely see. he squints, nostrils flaring as he breathes in again. "there's a storm coming," he says after a moment.

he's been chasing it. seeking it out. letting it lead him where smoke had led zabuza ages ago. the mist has been a lot more peaceful about it this time around, but the outcome is the same. "they see all that you are. the mist, the sea, the moon and the lightning. they guide you where you need to be, and give you what you're worthy of."

kai meets his eyes, a million things flashing in his gaze, before he trails it back to the waiting swords. his lips curl up, sharp teeth and fangs glittering in the low light. he makes his way over, pulling the blades from the ground, testing their weight in his hands. the energy around them picks up, wind whistling quietly, the storm edging closer and closer. "what am i supposed to do now, then?"

zabuza considers the question for a moment, closing the gap between them so he's standing at his son's side, placing a firm but tender hand on the curve of his elbow. "that's for you to decide. you don't have to have the answers now. it took me..." zabuza pauses for a moment, huffing out an amused noise, "a long time, to get it right. close your eyes, focus your energy."

kai's eyes close, shoulders squaring. the wind picks up, the mist feeling like rain against their skin. zabuza feels it before he sees it, the surge of electricity transferring from kai's skin to his own, flowing from his nerves into his arms and through the blades clutched in his hands. it burns, but zabuza doesn't let go, not just yet. not when kai's face breaks out into a grin, a barked laugh of awe tearing from his throat. for a moment, zabuza thinks about love, and the feeling is so fierce that he can't help but laugh, too.

eventually, he has to let go of kai's arm, feeling momentarily lost in his hand with the currents of lightning abusing his nerves. the mist will heal him.

"dad, this is so freaking cool," he says, practically bouncing where he stands, even after he's cut the lightning. the storm overhead is still brewing, but it seems to be waiting now. "i'm like you, now!"

and that. zabuza doesn't know what to do with that. with the feeling that seizes his entire being and leaves him stranded at sea. kai's excitement is so pure, his feelings genuine and true, zabuza sometimes doesn't know how he's been allowed this. "you'll be better, though," he says, and something in his tone must be off, because kai stops what he's doing. sets the swords back down on the ground and turns to face zabuza fully. takes him in, in that unsettling way both he and his sister have the habit of.

kai's smile this time is small, more in his eyes, like his father every time. zabuza loves him so much he could choke on it. "yeah, dad. i'll be better," he says, pressing forward into the width of zabuza's chest, wrapping his arms tight around him.

zabuza's hand settles between kai's shoulderblades, and he exhales a soft, calm breath. "c'mon, kid. let's get this stuff inside and get some rest. that storm should be ready for you to run in by tomorrow."

with shortness of breath i'll explain the infinite. how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist // @copycaat

[fungalfaggot]

oh you're touch starved? here eat up *fucking punches you*

[copycaat]

@godmist asked:

nerves aren't something zabuza easily shows, but his shoulders are tense as he pushes gai's wheelchair down the road. kakashi walks at his side, and he knows they're both aware of the tension, but they give him enough grace to not comment on it. after another five minutes, the path deviates from the main road, curving down to a beautiful sprawl of land. at the end of the walkway sits a house: newly built, two stories high, larger than it really has any right to be. gai makes his confusion clear, and kakashi turns to look at him with a little tilt of his head. "been working on this for some time now. construction took longer than i'd anticipated, but. it's..." he pauses, tapping his fingers against the handles of gai's chair, "our house. for when you both are here."

Something about the weather in Kiri makes Kakashi drowsy.

Maybe it's the watery light of the sun, never quite free of the clouds, never quite hot and bright and intense the way it is back home - though, he notes with some chagrin, the intensity is still more than enough to turn him lobster-pink during the course of a beach day. Maybe it's the cooler weather, the ever-eminent threat of rain making him think it might be a good day for a nap. It isn't the worst thing, he thinks, to be a little drowsy.

He'd woken up a little bit late this morning, tucked between Zabuza and Gai. Gai had been trailing his fingers over the hard muscle of his flank, Zabuza's arm and thigh thrown over both of their bodies like he was trying to crush both of them to his chest. Gai had kissed him on the shoulder when he'd noticed he was awake, and Kakashi had made a tired noise, rolled over to tuck his nose against his throat, and gone back to sleep. He never goes back to sleep.

He never used to go back to sleep, anyway. It seems like it's getting more common these days, when he cracks an eye open at five or six in the morning, discovers how much effort he'll have to expend to crawl out from under the heavy arms of his husbands, out from the warmth of the duvet and into the cool air. Sometimes the effort seems monumental. The morning after arriving late and reuniting with their lover is a fine morning to sleep in, isn't it?

All that to say, when Zabuza finally cracked an eye open around nine, he'd laughed to find Kakashi still dozing, and laughed even harder when Kakashi had whined and shoved at his face when he'd tried to greet him with a shower of kisses. Gai, who had decided to read, had accepted his own bounty with much more grace and enthusiasm, and they'd kissed over Kakashi's back until he'd griped that they were crushing him. This had started the three of them jostling playfully until Zabuza had managed to shove Kakashi halfway out of the bed, stood up, and with an uncharacteristic nervousness he'd declared: "Get dressed while I make breakfast. I have to show you something," before fleeing the room so swiftly Kakashi had barely had time to pinch his bare asscheek as he left.

Kakashi and Gai had stared at each other for a moment.

"Do you think he's finally going to murder-suicide us?" Kakashi asked absently, loud enough that Zabuza could definitely hear him in the kitchen through the open doorway.

Gai gasped and declared, "My Love, that is an unkind speculation to make about a man we lo-"

"You're right, sorry," Kakashi waved him off, slipping out of the bed and blearily hunting for a pair of pants- he did not care who those pants belonged to, it just seemed prudent to find some if they were going to be in public. "He definitely found us a sex dungeon or something, right?"

The walk is pretty long for a sex dungeon. Through it all, that content sort of drowsiness remains. He matches Zabuza's pace with his hands stuffed in his pockets, watching the beach grass wave hello and stubborn salty scrub brush cling to jagged rock outcroppings despite the wind. There are some flowers he's never seen before blooming in the chilly spring air, and their scent mingles pleasantly with the salt of the sea, the sand and kelp and things living and dead and not quite either. He considers acting like his legs are tired and finding a seat in Gai's lap to cut some of the tension, because though Gai's efforts of asking questions about the plants, the birds, the weather patterns, the local customs this time of year, and Zabuza's characteristically sarcastic or playful or enthusiastic answers, he can still feel the nervousness radiating off of him.

He doesn't get the chance, because the house comes into view. Pristine new construction. Kakashi tilts his head and then turns to stare at Zabuza with his good eye, waiting for an explanation.

"been working on this for some time now. construction took longer than i'd anticipated, but. it's..." he pauses, tapping his fingers against the handles of gai's chair, "our house. for when you both are here."

Gai's laugh is delighted: "Our house! Momo-san, your skills remain a delightful surprise- look, Kakashi, a house that is sturdy and new, with such fine roof work--"

Kakashi hums absently, his feet feeling stuck to the path, gaze locked on the house. It rises up out of the sand and the beach rock and the scrub grass like a living thing, resting above the ground on thick pillars, with a ramp that leads up to the front deck. It's huge. The doors are open, and behind the house is a pebbly beach on a little bay, with gentle waves rolling against the shoreline. It's well-constructed, to be sure, and much too large for just the three of them, which means Zabuza thought about them staying for a while, staying long enough that their hurricane-force former genin teams, friends, their little cobbled-together families might come visit too, need their own space. He understands why it took Zabuza longer than expected.

He isn't sure what he feels when he looks at that house. It's strange, he thinks, to see a place that isn't haunted by his own ghosts- he won't turn a corner in these halls and expect to see his father, or his grandmother, or his aunt, and he won't step off the stairs expecting the granny in unit 201b knocking on his door to ask for his help moving her couch so she can vacuum underneath it. He'll never have woken up in the middle of the night on the kitchen floor here and discovered he'd burst his stitches open. The house is an empty place waiting to be filled with newer, kinder memories.

As many as he can make, anyway, he thinks. If the damned hat doesn't kill him off too soon.

Gai has started warbling, his pleasure no longer able to be contained by enthusiastic professions of adoration, declarations of Zabuza's virtues, and the like. They're on Kakashi's blind side, but he can feel the air shift when Zabuza bends down to accept a kiss, two, three, from the man, and in between each kiss there is another stream of proud praise, and Kakashi remains still and silent and sleepy next to the pair of them while he thinks.

He wonders if this house is a fresh start for Zabuza, the way it is for him.

Kakashi returns to himself with a start when Zabuza touches his elbow, and turns his face to look at him head on.

"Do you want to see the inside?" He doesn't seem quite so nervous anymore, but there's still something unsettled jumping behind his eyes. Kakashi cups his jaw and leans over to kiss him too, laughing into it as Gai rolls himself down the gentle slope with a cheer.

"I already love it," Kakashi tells him, "But if you don't show me at least three places where you smashed your thumb with a hammer, I'm not going to believe you built it yourself. C'mon."

"Asshole," Zabuza grumbles without heat, unable to keep the smile from his face when Kakashi laces their fingers together.

"Yeah," he agrees easily. "Stop making me want to retire, you'll never get rid of me."

when the water on the window let the sunlight through / and I got a good look at you / standing above me bright and tall / there are no words for it

[godmist]

good afternoon i am thinking about the life zabuza was longing for— or to go back to— when he decided that the bloody mist would end by his hand

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[godmist]

hello friends times are rough rn which is why i havent really been around but! i might not have a job this summer which would mean. more time to clown

[godmist]

A very happy birthday to you! I hope it is at least half as epic as you are!

thank you so much!!! 🥹🤍 i had a wonderful birthday

[lvyeshou]

zabuza cups the back of gai's neck, palm sliding up to the back of his head, the fuzz of his still-growing hair brushing pleasantly against zabuza's fingers. "i think you look good like this."

Curse Zabuza, and the way his touch and deep voice bid a smile to Gai’s face, even though Gai steadfastly doesn’t believe him. It doesn’t bother him how he looks, though, and especially not when Zabuza looks at him like that, dark eyes blinking slow and sure at him as if there isn’t a worry to be had in the world. Gai tips his head back to lean into his hand and look up at him with open, tender eyes.

“You look good too, Momo-san. Or should I say, Mizukage-sama? Ever-brimming with youth, with your handsome looks!”

He’s teasing, of course. It’s nice. The mid-afternoon light filters through the blinds, yawning across the ward in streaks of gentle contrast. There’s a little more life around him these days.

For some reason, Zabuza feels new to him all over again. Maybe it’s the newfound authority of a fresh kage, a new set in his shoulders that boast the purpose of a man who’s been ready for the role for years now. His official cloak feels premium under Gai’s fingers. He trails his fingers along the edge of it, and peels it open to peer within, smirking up at Zabuza, who rolls his eyes at him, when his bare chest is unveiled beneath.

“Still baring it all even as Mizukage, just as Kakashi said.” A cheeky squeeze for emphasis.

Zabuza swats his hand away and grumbles some lame excuse or another at him, and Gai laughs, and they talk. There is so much to catch up on; the sparse letters are never enough. Zabuza tells him about how Haku’s doing, and the new people Zabuza’s working with now every day. He hears about Zabuza’s daily morning routine, and how he works so late sometimes that he has dinner past nine. In turn, Gai tells him about … well, there’s not much to hospital life, but Gai tells him anyway.

He worries that he’s taking too much of a busy kage’s time, but Zabuza gives no indication whatsoever that it could be the case, never once turns his gaze to the clock across the room. It’s only when the nurse knocks, and walks in with dinner on a tray, that Gai looks out the window, startled to find a dusty evening sky dimming by the minute.

The meal sits before him, stir-fried beef on a bed of rice, with a block of soft tofu and slices of takuan. Gai looks at Zabuza.

“Bring me on a walk, will you?” Gai asks. It will be a strange sight, Maito Gai on a wheelchair, pushed by the newly-minted Mizukage on the street along the hospital, but Gai doesn’t really care. “I want to have dinner with you.”