Happy Birthday @boymorbo <3 Isa I wanted to be the first, so I scheduled for 12 A.M British Time (I hope it is 12 A.M when you see this), you're genuinely one of the smartest, kindest, funniest, and most creative people I've met on here. You've known me since I was a porn blog, which is honestly kind of rare because you never judged me for it. I'm so glad I've met you online. Even if we never meet irl, I'm really happy I got to know you. I'm really grateful we got to know each other and that you've been around for so long. I know this sounds cheesy, but I don't care! You deserve to hear it. I wish nothing but great things for you because you deserve them. You're someone who brings so much to the people around you, and I hope this year brings you so much happiness, success, and all the good things you deserve. Happy Birthday again. Much love, Andrea
To my oomfs, I'm sorry I haven't come back yet. I know some of you are concerned, and I know I've worried people by disappearing. I miss interacting with you all more than I can explain. I miss the conversations, the jokes, the late-night talks, and just seeing everyone around. I really value the friendships I've created here, because they let me be me, and I don't take any of them for granted.I want to come back, but I can't right now.
There are things I want to tell you, things I've wanted to say for a long time, and I just can't seem to get them out. Things haven't been going very well for me. It's not that I haven't tried, I have. I really have. But sometimes I can't control how my efforts end up, and lately it feels like everything slips through my fingers no matter how hard I hold on.
I've been struggling a lot personally.
ED, dysmorphia, and things I don't even fully understand myself. On top of that, I was stupid enough to fall for a digital boy and expected so much more from him than what was possible. It wasn't fair to him, and it wasn't realistic, but it still stings.
I've also had my semester-end exams, and I don't know how they went. I'm scared about my academic future. I'm scared I'll fail.
I'm scared that maybe I'll become the very thing I've always feared being.I want to apologize for the times I've lied. I don't always know why I did it, and sometimes I can't even remember why, but I did, and I'm sorry. I don't want to be someone who lies.
I've also shared private parts of myself with people during moments of great intimacy, and when I look back on it now, I wish I hadn't.
I don't feel focused anymore. I can't settle down. I'm not sure what happened to me.
And to @itwasnothingwill you know what I'm sorry for. I miss you, and I owe you a proper explanation and apology, but I can't give one right now because I'm a coward and I've chosen to run away. Please don't tell anyone else.Thank you for the profile picture you made for me. I adore it so much. And I adore you too.Just because other people have things you still don't have doesn't mean you don't deserve them. You're priceless. Don't compromise and settle for anything beneath you. I trust you. And just because others have experienced things that you haven't yet doesn't mean you're behind or that you never will be. I think something greater is waiting for you. Please try to see yourself the way I see you.
And if Joaquin has come back and somehow sees this: I miss you a lot. I miss you every day. We had one of the rawest, deepest bonds I've ever had. I wish you'd come back someday. I love you, and I hope you get everything you want.Please be strong. Don't settle for what's right in front of you, WAIT. I think your patience will bring you your greatest reward. Your body is sacred, and you're perfect as you are. I won't stop you from making your own choices, but I value you too much not to worry when I hear the things you say.
And lastly, happy Pride Month to all my oomfs. If you're reading this, then I most likely came out to my parents this month.
As for me... I don't really know where I am anymore. I don't know if I'm healing, hiding, growing, or simply waiting. I don't know when I'll be back. Maybe some versions of us die quietly, with no funeral and no last words. Maybe one day I'll find my way back to myself. Or maybe this is the last page of a chapter I didn't realize I was finishing. I know some of you are concerned, and I am too, I donāt blame you. I just know that I'm here somewhere.
If youre seeing this its a scheduled post I set out if I havent returned to Tumblr yet. I am Not well rn not ok idk why or how it has been my exams, my family, the thought of me dying loveless or just the impending doom about my life if it is even worth anything, doesnt seem like it I feel im losing or have lost. I dont want to, but it is what it is.
I am not really here anymore i think thereās a lot happening irl and i donāt really have the words for any of it.
Iāll be going somewhere this june somewhere I probably shouldāve gone to a long time ago.
Thank you my moots, my friends, and especially the people i talked to every day. You made things lighter more often than you probably knew.
I kept thinking iād come back properly and reply to everything, everyone and would have a long chat with you eventually but i donāt know anymore just thank you. Genuinely.
Hello im a amateur artist š and i need to learn how to sketch and learn human anatomy ššcan some man pose nude for me ššš for art purposes šššš who up š
no matter what i do i'll never be good enough, i'll always be less than others, he is so much better than me, others are so much better than me. Then why am i jealous?
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