Monster Island @gojifan97 - Tumblr Blog

My first draft of this comic was way more carefully drawn and not as messy but it was simply not as funny that way

the Federation itself as a concept is so funny because the founding members are

the Vulcans, who have been friends with humanity for years but don't seem to actually like them all that much, instead regarding them with a sort of perverse fascination usually reserved for virology labs

the Andorians, who were fighting the Vulcans for like a hundred years

the Tellarites, who don't like any of these people and whose cultural trait is arguing, and

humans, whom nobody knew existed until last century when they shot themselves into space on a heavily modified nuke, invented world peace and won a fight with the nearest imperial superpower

like imagine you're the Romulan Empire and these weird monkeys who've barely figured out interstellar travel show up on your doorstep in the equivalent of a shipping container with missiles strapped to it, kick your ass in front of everybody, and then start a friendship club with 3 of your neighbours who all hated each others' guts until like a year ago. now I understand why every Romulan on the show is so angry

dduane

And possibly why only some of the ones in the books have had the sense to make friends with the most heavily-armed human they run into on a regular basis and get him to start changing all the others' minds in their favor. :)

pseudomasochist

Andorians... oh my god. Like...

Okay so imagine you're living on a street, and you and your neighbour have like... pretty decent, but wildly different houses. Yours is kind of a "this isn't a crack house this is a crack home" vibe, and the neighbours' place is very "excUSE me, you CANNOT park your car like that, it must be within 5 degrees of P A R A L L E L with the kerb, i'm going to report you to the police".

You fucking... you would be okay with getting along basically peacefully, except that you are goddamn CERTAIN that those little fuckos have been hiding hidden cameras in your pot plants? And they act like it's insane to say it, but they DO HAVE PREVIOUS ON THIS. They've done this shit before! They never actually key your car, but you do suspect they may have strategically removed the camera that watched your cars RIGHT BEFORE the local larrikin kids keyed it, and you can't prove collusion but that's DEFINITELY collusion right??

So you hate each other because they hate your charmingly goblincore aesthetic, and you hate the fact that they would like you file permission slips before you fart in public. It's been going for a while and, while you both hate it, it's also... weirdly cosy. It's The Routine. You'd miss it if it was absent, ya know?

And then some new guys rock up to the street.

These guys do not have a house. They have a goddamn caravan being dragged behind the most beaten up early 90's Holden Commodore you have ever seen. This shit has rust in places you weren't sure COULD rust. It definitely shouldn't exist, and you're not 100% sure if it's even road-legal, but you're not the kind of person to narc on a guy, you know?

And then! The fucking neighbours! Invite them to brunch?! HWAT?????

And it turns out that the neighbours are like, "yes we also grew up in a rolling hovel but by gosh we dragged ourselves up by our bootstraps, and we see good things in these bogan children, and that's why we're going to let them use our electrical hookup and fill their water tanks from our garden tap. Everyone meet the uh, is that pronounced hoo MAN or HOO mun? The HOOmuns."

And! What! The Fuck! Was that!!!

Anyway these little fuckos start poking around your trash cans... the neighbour's shed... basically everything really. They clearly have no idea what they're fucking doing, but they're also like, very clearly acting in good (if stupid) faith? They're actually quite sweet in a "get out of my veggie patch you fucking wombats" way.

And then they start poking around one of your pot plants and GUESS WHAT FUCKING DROPS OUT???

And they see this thing, that is clearly their friend's property and go...

...to YOUR door and say "I'm really sorry but I think my friends were extremely extremely shitty to you, here's proof, I'm so sorry, we're gonna... we're gonna go..."

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO NOW???

You were kinda expecting them to be assholes like the people who seem to have aligned themselves with them, but they were like... decent about it? And had 100x more class than the people who DEFINE themselves as being classy? How do you even approach that?!

And so you kinda have to respect them! And they keep fucking doing it! They have ONE GODDAMN SHIP but they repeatedly put themselves in danger for your benefit, for no reason other than they seem to have decided it's the nice thing to do. That just doesn't happen in this neighbourhood!! That's not a thing!!!!!

And

Then they buy a house. And it's kind of a dump but in a charmingly goblincore way that you respect and admire. But it's also got functional indoor plumbing in a way that your pencil-pushing frenemy neighbours also admire. And the lil scrappers can give ABSOLUTELY as good as they get regarding fights, which the asshole corner store owners who live down the street ALSO admire.

And they ask you, "hey"

"Hey mate"

"Wanna hang out on Fridays and play Pathfinder?"

"I'll bring chips"

And you're in a bit of a pickle because... uuurrgh that DOES sound cool... but you know they invited the weirdos too... but damn...

They make REAL good chips. And they've been pretty good to you...

......

Fuck you. Fine. Yeah okay, we ball.

--------------------

Welcome to being an Andorian in the 22nd century lmao.

#star trek #star trek enterprise

Stratt's Final Secret

As the scientists prepared the rockets bearing the Taumeoba to the sun, Eva Stratt sipped her coffee, thinking. It was finally time. Time to reveal her final secret to the world.

When the Hail Mary was sent into space, Stratt was acting as the de facto dictator, able to do whatever it took to to complete the project. Soon after it launched, she was deposed, arrested, and charged. She had long accepted this outcome.

It wasn’t that she felt her actions were immoral, after all could one really say an act is immoral if it is truly necessary? Could one really say the right thing to do would have been to let humanity go extinct? However, even if certain actions were justified, they still bore consequences.

As Grace would have pointed out, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Every punch has a cost, every dirty deed has a consequence. Stratt chose to take whatever steps it took to save humanity knowing these were the fruits she would reap. So reap them she did. It was only right. Live by the sword die by the sword. So, she admitted every crime, every ethically dubious decision, every dirty deed she’d done to save the human race, and let them decide what to do with her.

Every dirty deed except one.

Grace’s sacrifice was her one action that she kept tightly under wraps. The few people who knew were sworn, bribed, or threatened to secrecy. She even ensured that they would keep quiet after she was sent to prison. Nobody could know the truth. Because if the truth came out, it wouldn’t just be her who was vilified.

After the launch, Grace was one of the heroes of humanity, the meek scientist who stepped up, while Stratt was the ruthless villain. If the world knew the truth, that would change. He’d be a dirty coward who tried to barter countless lives, including his own students, to save his own skin. Someone who was forced to be useful for the human race against his will. Stratt did not want that to happen, so she ensured it wouldn’t. After all, what was a lifetime of bad sleep for her?

But now, that was no longer necessary.

Stratt had intended for Grace to act as a mere assistant to the other two, but fate had left him as the only one. The man who held humanity’s fate in his own two hands. The man who could have lied to his alien friend, let them all die, with nobody the wiser. Instead, he not only worked tirelessly to solve the Astrophage problem, he selflessly risked his life to obtain the Taumeoba, then sent the samples to Earth while knowing full well what Stratt had done to him.

As for as the world would care, all cowardice would be atoned for, all selfishness redeemed.

Now, Stratt could finally admit her final dark deed, secure in the knowledge that she alone would be the villain. She’d broken out of prison to await the Hail Mary’s probes and finish the mission once and for all. Once it was done, the full truth could be revealed.

Ryland Grace would be celebrated as the hero of humanity, the meek scientist who stepped up, while Stratt would be the ruthless villain.

#project hail mary #eva stratt #something I wrote based on how I thought stratt would have dealt with the grace situation #I haven't read the book so I don't quite know her voice but I hope I did well

lifeafterpsychiatry

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

kurai-hono-blog

This is the sacred texts, this is the holy grail.

cricketcat9

This a GOOD STUFF, people. Read and try, it may work for you 🤞

#executive dysfunction

kasperskarnival

The only family that's actually nuclear

gojifan97

Oh really?

#godzilla #minilla

hotvampireadjacent

https://twitter.com/birdtickler/status/1552657242909904897?s=21&t=q4JEDIALmV-cAjcoEOypdw

littlemisspipebomb

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

aspiringwarriorlibrarian

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

baronfulmen

"The ball cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn’t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector’s report, nor did we ever hear of one being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snow-makers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years."

I don't know that this beats the teeth story, but it's pretty great.

#hats off to this ride for being too obscenely dangerous even for action park #action park

nocternalrandomness

shutterandsentence

Happy Birthday America!!!

Photo: Mackinac Island, Michigan

#4th of july #july 4 #independence day #Happy Birthday America!

ratleyland

Happy Independence Day to all of my American Friends

I've decided to celebrate the 4th of July with this classic movie of the same name.

gettothedancing

"The Hoover Dam kicked off its America 250 celebrations with the unfurling of a massive American flag and a red, white and blue light display. The full display includes more than 500 LED lights and over 126,000 feet of wire. The flag itself measures at 300 feet by 150 feet - the size of an American football field - and weighs approximately 2,000 pounds." (x)

#july 4 #america 250 #independence day

citizenscreen

Captain America, created by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, made his comic book debut in Captain America Comics #1 dated March 1941. Released in December 1940 by Timely Comics now #Marvel).

#captain america #july 4 #independence day