It was truly an honor to be a guest contributor for the @goldendayszine , in the company of such talented artists and writers. I’m very excited to share my contribution You Are the Only One, a story that takes place on Simon and Baz’s plane ride home from America—after the beach scene. The idea took hold and I knew this is what I had to write—complete with a happy ending, because that is what I hope to see for them. I hope you like it.
Summary: Simon and Baz are headed back to London after their week in America. Too many things have been left unsaid. Simon spends his time on the airplane thinking about Baz's words. Baz spends his time on the plane giving Simon space and expecting the worst. Clarity comes at unexpected times and in unexpected places. The resolution of the beach scene from Wayward Son.
The flight to London is full. Penny, Agatha and Shepard are all in different rows but somehow Baz and I are seated next to each other. I know that’s Penny’s doing and I should be irritated at her for meddling, but I’m pathetically grateful instead.
Grateful to have an excuse to sit so close to him. Maybe for the last time.
I don’t know what we have anymore. I don’t know how to ask Baz. I know what I think I should do, what I should have done weeks ago, months ago, but I just can’t bring myself to say the words.
Even though I know I should.
It would be kinder for me to do it. I know he’ll be hurt when I do, but I don’t think he’ll let himself break it off. He’ll hang on because he said he would.
(An Englishman’s word is his bond).
We’re leaving behind the roiling mess of America and heading into the uncertainty of what waits for us at home. A mess left behind and unknown chaos ahead is pretty much par for the course for me. Story of my life.
Penny’s been cryptic about whatever she knows is waiting for us back at Watford. She dropped her bombshell announcement when she interrupted me and Baz on the beach but she’s been mum on the subject since. Doesn’t bode well in my opinion.
I can’t stop thinking about what she interrupted though. Even with the lingering effects of the vampire battle and the absolute certainty that we are in a shit-ton of trouble–with the Coven in general and Penny’s mum in particular–I can’t seem to give any of that my focus. Not when Baz’s words are still echoing in my head.
“Why can’t you see that I wouldn’t be happy anywhere without you?”
I’d come to a decision today. One that made me feel bloody awful but that seemed like a chance to wipe the slate clean. Have a fresh start. Come to terms with what I’ve lost and let Baz and Penny get on with their lives.
And I’d go on with my Normal one.
It felt like shit, really. It felt like giving up.
The only part of it that made any sense was my plan to break up with Baz. To let him go.
To let him know it was okay to stay here, to make his life in a place where he didn’t have to hide. Where he would be celebrated for what he is–every facet of him.
He could be a king in America. I thought the vampires in London were ready to put a crown on his head. But Lamb. . . Lamb was ready to give him even more than that. He’d have the keys to an entire kingdom.
And a partner who was his match.
Baz said he doesn’t want that. That he wouldn’t actually be happier here.
“Why can’t you see that I wouldn’t be happy anywhere without you?”
I don’t know what to think about that. He’s been with me and he hasn’t been happy. These last few months . . . I’ve seen it. I’ve seen him pull away, step back, retreat step by step.
I’ve seen the pain in his eyes when he looks at me. How it hurts to be with me.
It hurts to have Baz so far from me.
He would be happier away from me. How could he not be? I’m a burden, a responsibility, a liability. Baz wanted what I was. He made a promise to the person I used to be, and he’s too damn honourable to go back on his word.
It’s funny to think I’d never have used the words honourable and Baz in the same sentence back at Watford.
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