Keys, notes and whispers 02
BTS Series
Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Musician!reader
Word count: 4,294 words
Warnings: fluff, blind reader au, mention of shoulder injury, scars, implied love making
Summary: When a prestigious music festival is held at Seoul Academy of Music and Performing Arts, Y/N, who sees the world with her music rather than her eyes, comes across Yoongi, a musician, who makes her see the world in a beautiful light all over again.
A/N: I wanted to write about what Yoongi had in his mind too. And so yeah, the second part is finally here. Surprise! *runs away to hide in a corner*
Note: Please keep in mind that this is just an AU and it is not my intention to romanticize visual impairment.
Disclaimer: This story is an AU fanfiction that I have created using the names of the members of BTS. I do not claim any ownership over the members of BTS. The plot and the personalities of the characters are entirely my own.
Do not plagiarize my work and do not repost.
KN&W Masterpost
Moodboard
“I think you should give up on trying to surprise me. You’re just so bad at it.” Y/N chuckled as she turned around to face her not so discreet boyfriend. She imagined he was probably blushing right then.
“I’m certainly not bad at it, it’s just that you’re way too good.” Yoongi huffed as he dropped down onto the duvet bench next to her. “What gave me away?”
Y/N put a finger to her chin and pretended to think. “I don’t know? Every time you’re close, my skin starts tingling and my heart starts beating faster. The electricity coursing through my body could only be because of you.” She placed her chin on her palm and smiled. Yoongi could only hope that this was true.
“Oh that, and the delicious smell of warm chocolate muffins.” She added. Yoongi chuckled as he shook his head. This was the sole reason for making it a tradition to bring over muffins every time he came over. After the very first time Y/N had guessed, he’d bring a different flavour each time he came over and she would get it right even before he could tell her that he’d gotten muffins. But, he supposed there was never a chance she could ever lose.
Three weeks from that magical, musical evening, he found himself yearning to always be with her. He had often questioned his longing for her presence. Was it merely an infatuation? Would the fire blazing in his blood eventually turn cold? The way he felt, was it too soon? Was it even real?
Two months in, and he had fallen.
Another set of questions ran through his mind. What did she really feel about him? All the warmth, the love that she showered him with, did it ever make her feel like he was the one for her? Or was he the only one falling? And most importantly, was he enough?
“And yet, you never get tired of them.” Yoongi smiled as Y/N hurried to open the box to take a huge bite of the first one she could pick.
He loved it. He had memorised the small things, the ones she probably didn’t know about herself either. He loved it when she sniffed her food and took a tiny bite before she took a larger one. He loved that she would always hum the tunes he had played for her over the piano. He loved that she would touch his cheek so gently, it made him feel like he was precious.
When he had told her about it, she’d said to him, “You are, Yoon.”
He loved her.
‘Too soon, Yoongi. Don’t scare her away.’ He chided himself.
Pulling away from his stream of thoughts, he caught her hand just before she could wipe the crumbs off her hand against her pants.
“Nuh uh, you’re wearing white today.” Yoongi reasoned, reaching for a tissue and cleaning her hands in a rush.
“Always the neat freak.” Y/N scrunched her nose at him and Yoongi reached out a hand to smooth over her skin.
“Between you and me? No way. I bet anyone would know how much of a neat freak you are despite the fact that you usually ruin your pants this way.” He stood and saw that Y/N was about to protest, and he knew that if she started, it would go on for a quite a while. He immediately pecked her lips and like every other time he did, it brought a tiny smile on her face.
“Babe, you know you don’t have to come over every morning? Don’t get me wrong, I love having you here and talking to you in the morning, it’s an absolute dream. But I feel bad knowing that you travel all this way to meet me for a maximum of twenty minutes.” Y/N bit her lip.
Then let’s move in together, that way I won’t have to. Yoongi wanted to say.
“Y/N,” Yoongi paused as he waited for Y/N to perk up, “I come here everyday because I couldn’t possibly have a good morning unless you’re in it.” He watched her lips slowly curve upwards into a soft smile.
“And to think that you’d once told me you weren’t good with words. You are good at dating, aren’t you? Every day I find you have another talent.” Y/N tutted, and Yoongi shook his head.
He was flattered and frankly out of words, because what was he supposed to say to that? Y/N often said things, things that made him shy and speechless. It was as though it was obvious, like the way she had called Yoongi charming while talking to one of the other music lecturers at her college.
There were many such moments but he had his favourite picked out. It was on a Sunday morning when they were having breakfast together and upon his request, Y/N had asked her staff to serve more pancakes.
“Oh, and my boyfriend likes orange juice, so that too please.” She had added. Yoongi was startled with the choice of words, and he couldn’t help the burst of happiness it caused him.
“Will you be my boyfriend, Yoon?” She’d then asked him softly.
“I already am, girlfriend.” He’d smiled.
Needless to say, Yoongi had no recollection of the rest of the morning, just the word boyfriend swirling in his mind making him giddy.
“Alright, time to go? I don’t want to make you late for class.” He announced, coming back to the present and offering his hand out, making sure his fingertips touched hers.
“So cruel to remind me of work on such a wonderful morning.” Y/N sighed dramatically and Yoongi clicked his tongue.
Yoongi reached up and held on to the scarf around Y/N’s neck. Slowly, he pulled her closer, bending down so he could touch his lips to hers. “I hope that made your morning better.” He whispered.
“A little. Maybe a hundred more of these would help.” Y/N smiled and gave Yoongi one peck after another, lightly letting her tongue touch his lips and then letting go with a loud and sweet ‘chu’.
“Mmm,” Y/N hummed smacking her lips, “Yoon, love, how is it, that your lip balm always tastes better than mine?” she shook her head playfully and heard Yoongi chuckle.
“It’s one of my many talents.” He joked, but Y/N didn’t take it so every time he said that. At this point, he knew he was just fishing for compliments.
“Yes, the ever growing list of talents.” She murmured.
Once he’d seen Y/N off to the college, Yoongi headed back to his place.
Before, he couldn’t really understand how the time went by so fast. When he worked in the studio, composing music and writing songs, he had never had a sense of time, so his schedule was just odd. There wasn’t really an exact time for any of his meals or when he would be leaving work. Just whenever he needed a coffee re-fill and then accidentally fell asleep on the couch when he wanted to ‘rest his eyes for a while’.
Looking back on it, it was no doubt that his bandmates were concerned for his health. So much that they had to spend day and night trying to convince him to get his shoulder surgery done. He’d pushed a lot, since they had a comeback scheduled, but then, knowing it might benefit the entire band, he’d dipped.
For some reason, he hadn’t told Y/N about the surgery. He liked to think that he wasn’t exactly keeping anything from her, seeing as it had happened before he’d met her, but he still felt uneasy thinking about it.
And now, he’d been sent off to rest and heal, and if he had to be honest, the first few weeks had driven him crazy. That had ultimately pulled him back to the studio, and he kept working on music, thinking he was compensating for all the time he was taking off. Until, he was reprimanded by his leader, Namjoon, a man who was extremely good at convincing people.
But so was Yoongi. That was how they’d struck a deal. No working, but randomly attending a few events. Events where Yoongi would just need to sit. It wasn’t exactly what Yoongi wanted, but it was the best offer he could get. At the least, he would be doing something.
Yoongi smiled every single time he thought about that deal. That deal had gotten him to her, and he felt so grateful. His mind kept going back to them playing the piano together, and Yoongi couldn’t remember the last time he’d played the piano like he was carefree. When he wasn’t stressing about making a tune worthy of being put into an album. Admittedly, he had returned home that night with a bit of a sore shoulder, but much more healed than he had felt in a while.
He’d actually gotten into routine, a healthy one. He hadn’t really planned it out and pursued it constantly. It had just come together that way. As cliché as it sounded, Yoongi thought of it as things falling into place.
A morning meet with Y/N. Breakfast. Lunch with the boys or Y/N over phone call. A nice long nap. Then he’d go pick up Y/N. From there it was either dinner with Y/N, or wishing he was with Y/N while having dinner.
Taehyung had once accused him of not spending enough time with the boys while they were on the ‘checking-up-on-you-video-call’ which happened every day. And he knew that they visited him every week, but it so happened that he would usually be napping at the time. Namjoon had butted in quickly, taking over the space and smiling at him.
“How’re you doing, hyung?”
“Well enough to notice that your chest and shoulders won’t fit into the limited phone screen anymore, Joon.” Yoongi joked while Namjoon shook his head while he tried to hide his smile.
“C’mon, hyung. How are you really? You are resting, aren’t you?” He asked in a much more serious tone and Yoongi sighed. The hardest part about talking to Namjoon was the part where one would think they’ve deflected with humour, only to find Namjoon coming right back to the point. But this time, Yoongi felt he didn’t really have the need to deviate.
“I feel good, Joon. And yes, I am resting.” He said genuinely and Namjoon smiled.
“That’s really good to hear, hyung. We all miss you here.” Namjoon was beaming and somewhere in the back Yoongi heard a familiar voice yell.
“Because you’re always with your girlfriend!”
“We had sushi together just two days ago, Tae.” Yoongi sighed and all he could hear was a mumbled ‘yeah yeah’ in response. But he couldn’t really stop himself from smiling at the thought of her. He would never get over how it felt to refer to Y/N as his girlfriend. And if one day they could be something more...
‘Again, too soon man. Take it slow.’
Namjoon chuckled. “We gotta go hyung, the photoshoot will be starting soon.” He paused, and right before he cut the call he smiled once more. “I’m glad she makes you so happy, hyung.”
Yoongi found himself at the edge of his piano and he chuckled. It was almost as if the memory of Y/N drew him to the things he loved doing with her. He smiled as he settled down, pressing a key to start and then closing his eyes to let his hands lead him. Lately, it always started with a B flat.
His day went by slowly and to speed things up, he settled down for a nap until it was time to pick up Y/N again. A few hours later, he was laid out in the balcony, eyes closed and limbs spread out like a starfish. The sun rays tinted the back of his eyelids in a muted orange.
Yoongi wondered why it wasn’t hot, instead he felt cool breeze hit his face. Suddenly the orange turned darker, and Yoongi opened his eyes to see her hand shading his eyes. He was laying down on her lap and as he tilted his face up, he saw her looking at him.
“You’re awake huh, sleepyhead.” Y/N chuckled as she bent down to kiss Yoongi’s forehead softly. He closed his eyes, revelling in the affection, in the way her presence soothed him.
“And you have a pimple.” she added, smiling.
“Maybe you can kiss it better?” Yoongi tried, but was only met with laughter.
“I am not kissing your pimple, Yoon.” She stroked his hair.
Yoongi stuck his tongue out once and then said nothing more, relaxed with her hand stroking his hair and another shielding his eyes from the sun.
Something was off.
“Wait, how did you know that?” Yoongi snapped his eyes open, quickly sitting up to level her confused face.
“Know what, Yoon?” Y/N asked.
Yoongi touched his face. He did have a pimple.
“I have a pimple. You weren’t touching my face, how did you know?” Yoongi’s words died down, his eyes widening.
“Yoon, why do I have to be touching you, I can se-”
He was being jerked awake. In a quick motion he was sitting, curled into the headboard of his bed and visibly panting.
“Yoon?! Are you alright?!” Y/N tried to mask her panic.
“Uh, Y/N, you’re here? I was supposed to pick you up.” Yoongi asked in a daze and he heard her hum in response. His blurry vision slowly began to clear and he noticed Y/N seated at the edge of his bed. Yoongi extended his hand towards her, touching her fingers and she immediately scooted forward lacing their fingers together.
“Don’t worry about it, I stayed late for a meeting, you’d have had to wait for a long time if you had come.” She tilted her face down towards their hands. Oh, you are sweaty.” Y/N laughed quietly, turning her face towards him again. “You must’ve been pretty tired. You didn’t hear the bell go off either, hm?”
And there it was again, moments where her gaze would seem so real. So real, Yoongi found himself wishing for it to be real. He hated to admit that the thought had even crossed his mind, he had never let it completely settle. But now he’d dreamt about it and his mind had finally forced him to admit.
“Hey, what are you thinking?” She asked softly.
“Nothing, just had a long nap and I’m a bit dazed I suppose.” Yoongi shrugged and he could see the hesitance in her features before she nodded.
And he probably was, because the next thing he said, as simple and stupid as it sounded, brought him a wave of guilt.
“I have a pimple.” He laughed quietly, a bit strained.
“Really now.” Y/N chuckled and brought up a hand to his face, searching.
“Must be small, Yoon, I really can’t tell.” She smiled. Yoongi didn’t.
“I’ll be back.” Y/N said, one of her favourite phrases to imitate. But it was as though Yoongi had missed it, his hands automatically going to her waist to stop her from leaving.
“Stay with me for a while.” He murmured, brushing her hair and stroking her cheek. If there was one person who could get his mind off of things without saying a word, it was definitely Y/N. He would never understand how she was able to do that, but he was thankful that she did.
But he knew she would come back to it later. ‘Running only helps for a while, Yoon, it’ll get tiring eventually.’ She’d once said to him. He thought Y/N could be good friends with Namjoon.
“Alright.” Y/N obliged, slowly falling back onto the bed while Yoongi wrapped his arm around her.
With his eyes closed and his favourite person right beside him, worries seemed to wipe off his mind. A piece of heaven had drifted down to him and turned into his bedroom for a while.
She shifted next to him and he felt her fingers slowly tracing his shirt.
“Yoon, you mean so much to me, you know that don’t you?” Y/N asked.
He opened his eyes and turned to her, his eyes glinting as he pinched her chin between his fingers and tilted her face up, facing him.
“I would like for you to tell me again.” He pecked her lips.
Y/N scoffed. “Does that mean you weren’t listening the first time around?”
Yoongi chuckled, closing his eyes and nudging his nose into her hair. Her hair smelled of strawberry and Yoongi added yet another fragrance to his list of things that reminded him of Y/N. Right then, his list was a few things short from everything.
Y/N cleared her throat quietly. “Well, listen now then. You mean a lot to me, Min Yoongi.”
“Thank you for telling me. You mean a lot to me too, Y/N.” Yoongi smiled, but it faded eventually because Y/N wasn’t smiling. She reached upward to meet his lips with hers.
This time, there was something different about their kiss, both of them could feel it. A sort of urgency, a raw need for each other. Yoongi pulled back panting, but his mouth never left her skin, travelling south and planting kisses along her jaw.
It was as though their movements were orchestrated to be smooth. Y/N swung her leg over him slowly and Yoongi straightened and sat up as Y/N straddled him. He clutched her hips as she shuffled closer towards him until there was only a breath of space between them.
Yoongi wrapped his hand around her neck and kissed her neck softly, and when Y/N released the softest, sweetest sigh, he knew it was his favourite sound in the whole entire world. He wanted to hear as much of it as he could.
He drew his lips back to her and for the shortest second, saw her brows furrow and her form stiffen. But it was enough, enough to make Yoongi stop all movement and pull back to properly look at Y/N.
“We don’t have to do this if-” Yoongi panicked, but Y/N cut him off.
“No, it’s not that. I want to do this with you.” Her voice did not quiver. Yoongi felt relieved. She did want him, but he also knew that she definitely had more on her mind. So he waited.
Y/N wasn’t someone who worried about everyday things, and even when she did she had never been afraid of discussing it with Yoongi. To see her that way, biting her lip and thinking over on what to say, it made him nervous. It might’ve been a few seconds, a few minutes or possibly hours, but Yoongi’s heart was pounding.
“I just, I want to see you too.” She whispered.
Yoongi’s eyes widened as he felt himself slump into the head board. It seemed as though the pain from his heart had journeyed higher to his throat, choking him and flooding his eyes with tears. He shut them closed.
The truth was, he wanted her to see him every time their lips parted after a kiss. He wanted her to look into his eyes and caress his face like she usually did with her eyes closed. He wanted her to appreciate all of him. At the back of his mind, he had always wanted her to look at him.
Maybe then he could look into the mirror and not turn away from the scars on his shoulder. He knew she would accept them. All of him.
He wanted her to watch him love her as fiercely as he felt in his heart.
How had something that had just come to mind suddenly become so important to him? Why was it so unfair? And now he had fallen so deep that it was impossible to ever pull back. He would be foolish to think that he would ever find another love like this.
“Y/N.” Yoongi breathed softly, his thumb gently circled her cheek. He could see the tears pool in her eyes.
“I’ve completely turned off the mood, haven’t I?” Y/N chuckled, turning away to the side. In such moments, it was so hard to believe that she couldn’t see him, not just when she turned away, but when she looked straight at him too.
“Y/N.” He repeated, and when she turned back to him, it seemed as though her eyes could see deep into his soul.
“You will see all of me, I promise. I know, some things might always be missing, but I will make sure you see every inch of me.” He pressed his lips to hers, unmoving but firm.
“My lips are chapped, don’t you see?” He whispered as Y/N slid her tongue over his bottom lip, wetting the dry skin. She hummed as she gave him a tiny nod. He slid his hands over her shoulders and intertwined his fingers with hers as he brought them up to his face.
“I had ramyeon this morning. My face looks puffy, doesn’t it?” He smiled as he put her hands on his cheeks, staring at her closed eyes.
“A little, yes.” Y/N giggled as she smoothed her hands over his cheek, exploring as she reached his jawline.
“And I’m guessing you haven’t shaved the past week?” Y/N chuckled and Yoongi’s face split into a huge grin.
“You caught me.”
Slowly, going back and forth in his mind and looking for a million reasons why he should and shouldn’t do it, he brought her hand to his chest, resting it flat over his heart.
“Feel that?” He asked, and she knew felt it, a mile a minute, faster than a humming bird’s wings. “It beats for you.” He whispered, and watched her lips part as she exhaled shakily.
I love you. He’d save those words for later.
“Y/N, I meant what I said. Until you’re comfortable with this, I won’t see you either.” He whispered, smiling at the frown forming on Y/N’s face.
“But I want to do this!” She huffed as her hands went around his neck, bringing him closer.
“We will, don’t worry. You’ll see what I mean.” Yoongi chuckled as he reached for the scarf lying on their bedside. He remembered it was the same one Y/N had worn in the morning. A quick knot later, he pulled her hands to his face again. Naturally, her touch brushed over the fine silk covering his eyes.
How could he worry about himself? Y/N was right in front of him, wishing and wanting for all those things while he let his guilt grow. Despite how hard getting to know a complete stranger and loving him must be for her, she loved him. He knew. She loved him. This love, her love, meant so much to Yoongi.
He didn’t have to look at her to love her. Her soft touch tickling his skin, her breathing alternating between huffs and gasps, the scent of her sweet fragrance that always made him miss her when apart and the taste of her mint candy still lingering on his lips, they were enough to make him fall deeper.
When he kissed her, the feeling felt brand new. The silk sliding against their skin with every movement sent a shiver down his spine. When their bodies collided, he was so sure it sent off sparks. So many different feelings and emotions bursting inside his heart and body, all of them so wonderful.
He’d heard it so many times. With the eyes closed, every other sense feels heightened. And on his bed, with Y/N in his arms, their hands on each other, Yoongi was realising that it might not be wrong at all.
Everything he felt was new, was a surprise. With his eyes closed he wondered how Y/N managed to get through each day with so much ease and grace. How long had she practised?
Because it wasn’t easy. They stumbled, fell, accidentally hit each other, and had managed to throw Yoongi’s pants so far, they were sure they’d broken the vase sitting on the window sill. But it felt wonderful, to touch every dip of her body and the expanse of her smooth skin, all with his eyes closed.
It was just the both of them again, her hands cupping his face as she kissed him and his hands on her hips pulling her closer. They whispered each others name.
They laid next to each other after, her head resting on his chest and her fingers tracing the crook of his neck. Her touch was slowly lulling him to sleep but he still fought the losing battle, afraid he might miss out on anything she said or did.
As her fingers changed course, they drifted to the one place that made him anxious. She had come across it numerous times when they made love, running her hands over his shoulders but never stopping. She hadn’t given any sign of noticing it, but how couldn’t she? In a way, Yoongi was grateful that she hadn’t brought it up then.
“Still think I’m the handsomest man on Earth?”
His question made her pause, and she rested her palm flat, right atop his scar. His tone was light, teasing, but there was no denying the hidden uncertainty behind his playful words.
“Not think. You are.” She whispered as she brushed away his hair from his eyes which slowly fluttered shut. His lips gave away a small smile. She didn’t have to give him reasons, nor did she have to elaborate.
Because that’s how the both of them were; not overly fond of words, but still able to communicate wondrous feelings.
His heart was content with what they were.
Intertwined.
Their bodies. Their fingers. Their hearts.
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