i think it’s time i leave this blog.
i won’t delete it (i’ve done that before with a former blog that was way more popular and regretted it), but im not on here much anymore and i want to start a new chapter by leaving it dormant.
i think this blog served it’s purpose of my coping during the pandemic and during a time that was very difficult for me on personal level, outside of the pandemic.
highlights were finding the succession fandom, succession posting, and occasionally having a hit post.
i made some pretty angry, anxious, wild, emotional, and neurotic posts on here. i needed an outlet in my lonely life and i wanted an audience because sometimes you really want someone to witness your pain. i’m better now, though, so i wanna close what has been a very public, intense diary.
i’ve overshared more than i ever would’ve done in the past and more than i think i was ever actually comfortable with.
sorry to anyone i pissed off or made uncomfortable with my posting. i know i’ve bothered people — i’ve gotten into disagreements and had people unfollow me and all the unpleasant things.
i certainly wasn’t very happy during the majority of my time running this blog. and despite what it seemed like, i was always semi-conscious of how slightly unstable and trauma dump-y it all sounded? and i was unstable, and indeed, recovering from being traumatized. when you’re stressed, lonely, and (i hate to use this “excuse”) suffering with mental illness, you can become someone you don’t recognize — which was me during the majority of this blog. i had a lot of ugly, intense feelings (still do, tbh) that needed an out, and this is where i came to release them, because tumblr has always been that space for me where i could let go.
still, i’m kind of embarrassed by the way i acted and by some my posting, and i wanna be better.
and since i’ve gradually been recovering and feel better, this feels like the next best step. i’m still struggling with a lot of things, but i’ve moved into my life more, and i wanna continue doing that.
thank you to anyone who replied, listened, was kind, gave advice and support. thank you to anyone who has shared a fandom space with me!!!!! what a necessary coping mechanism getting feral about fictional characters can be (kendall roy #1 boy forever). it has all meant a lot!
goodbye for now!!!
