lily

a place of dump thoughts of mine ✍︎ she / her

[smittenskitten]

Li Zi Wei and Huang Yu Xuan throughout the years

[gongjinsaram]

na heedo as baek yijin's number 3

ep 5;

when yijin's having a hard time, he would go to the nearest payphone for only one purpose; to listen to heedo's voice.

on payphones, number 3 is an option to check whether there is an incoming voicemail. so, to listen to heedo's voice, he would press the number 3; to gain his strength.

ep 6;

and when they meet again, when the use of cellphones become popular and he already got heedo's phone number, yijin chose number 3 as the shortcut number for him to call heedo. that is because he knows, when he dials for number 3, he will hear heedo's voice.

[gongjinsaram]

twenty five twenty one; ep 5

do you know what else is so crazy and beautiful about this very scene and the camera directing here? it is the fact that yijin knew he could cross the line because he now realized how much heedo really meant to him, that, even by just her existence, it already gives him every comfort he's pursuing in life. that, she is his safe place.

and also the fact that yijin now realized he's brave enough to get up once again to face the reality and strive for what he always been wanting. so he decided to take her hand, be by her side, while running towards their dream together. all for his sake, and for heedo's.

"i'm going to your world." -na heedo

"wait for me, heedo." -baek yijin

[gongjinsaram]

"when it's just us two, let's be happy when we're together, albeit temporarily. so, this can be our little secret." – na heedo to baek yijin, 1998.

for yijin who promised that he'd never be happy for the rest of his life, there comes heedo that becomes a safe place for him to hide and to secretly being happy.

and for heedo who offered yijin a safe place for him to secretly being happy only if he's with her, she finds her new comfort and admiration.

[gongjinsaram]

na heedo & baek yijin:

ended every chaotic-girlfriend-calm-boyfriend's trope

the way this scene is like the beginning on how they'd find out that they're actually each other's comforts. how heedo is so cute and bold and how yijin is so attentive and caring.

[gongjinsaram]

for the endless life lesson, the enormous comfort, the extraordinary contentment, the inspiring thoughts, the flawless, perfectly written storyline, and mostly, the realest, most genuine healing journey i could ever ask for.

i dare say this is the first k-drama that has ever left me in so much awe like this to the point where i find it impossible to imagine my saturday and sunday without them. hometown cha cha cha, you're really one for the record books!

goodbye will never be easy, but thank you, for coming into my life. really, i owe each and everyone of you a lot. what a ride! what a history! WHAT A K-DRAMA!

see you when i see you again, gongjin. there will be you in my happiest memory, always. ♡

[gongjinsaram]

hong dushik, what a great person you are.

giving the security guard free drinks every day, advising him to invest all the money carefully and not to be in rush, but still receiving blame for the things he didn't do, apologizing on his knees, taking the responsibility even if it meant giving away all of his possessions to make up for something that was never his fault, but still, in the end, he heard the words, "he's nothing short of a murderer".

cherishing his older brother so much, listening to his words so well that he even followed him wherever he went, attempting suicide after knowing his brother had died, but getting yelled at at the funeral only to hear the words; "you should've been the one to die", and still, in the end, he heard, "i won't apologize for what i did back then".

been suffering the worst nightmare all his life, living his life with his soul dead inside, blaming things that had happened to himself on his own, seeing a psychiatrist and decided to hide for the rest of his life, and in the end, one of the persons who had saved him from his darkest time; passed away.

hong dushik, i wish nothing but for you to finally find your eternal happiness. and for you to be able to wake up from your nightmares and live your life comfortably. thank you for hanging in there. thank you for being such a good person; both in the past and even in the present. thank you for staying true to who you are. and thank you for being alive.

. . . ♡✎

[gongjinsaram]

"i don't know who you (Chief Hong) are anymore." -yoon hyejin, ep. 13

"but hyejin still calls him Chief Hong and not by his name." -pyo miseon, ep. 14

i realized this all makes sense now... the way hyejin said that she didn't even know the Chief Hong that she once knew anymore; is because actually–all this time–the Chief Hong that she knew was originally the Hong Dushik who wore a mask with that name and tried to hide himself behind it.

and every of gongjin people wondered why hyejin couldn't just call dushik by his real name instead of Chief Hong; is because actually–all this time–she hadn't seen the real Hong Dushik yet.

[gongjinsaram]

[gongjinsaram]

"me too."

"i don't know myself too."

dushik really tried so hard to bury his past and his darkest trauma that he came back to Gongjin thinking he could forget about his real self for a while and live by wearing a mask as the 'Chief Hong'.

little did he know, that maybe, as time goes by, he's slowly losing himself as Hong Dushik too.

[gongjinsaram]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[gongjinsaram]

to think my first decision to watch homecha was technically for healing purposes yet here i am writing this at 3 am in the morning thinking how can i make dushik happy

[gongjinsaram]

damn.. it's the way there are so many things i want to talk about here because watching tonight's ep is actually so sad and concerning that i got so anxious of my own feelings and thoughts 🥺

[gongjinsaram]

the day when hyejin asked dushik "is there nothing you wish to do with me?" and he accidentally saw hyejin's bucket list,

dushik immediately made his own list that same night with "give her a present i made myself" as his number one list. ♡

[gongjinsaram]

seriously. is it possible to fall in love more and more with each episode of a kdrama you're currently watching? because i swear i've never felt this for so long that i forget about how it feels like.. homecha is really something else.. what should i do...

[gongjinsaram]

today, the star princess met the sea prince.

the princess was crying, but the prince made her laugh.

i hope she returns to the beach and meets him once again;

♡

[gongjinsaram]

as if the street lamp that seems like a 'line' here referred as dushik's doubts, it feels just like yesterday when he started to break his walls down and fearlessly crossed that line to come to hyejin

yet,

why does it feel like i can see that line again here?